Everyone in the circle except Zuko is sleeping with Zukos mother in law.

"so what should I plan to get at the comic con tomorrow?"  Zuko
"Lap dances by Princess Leia."  Ioni
"You're dressing as Princess Leia?"  Zuko
"I'm not giving any lap dances."  Ioni
"Then don't suggest it."  Zuko

"My training is complete this week..."  GM
"Oh, you can work in my brothel?"  Ioni
"Uhh what?"  GM
"You can work in my brothel?"  Ioni
"Wrong kind... of training?"  GM
"If that's the wrong kind of training you took the wrong kind of job."  Mnemia

"We could just tie her to the bottom of Shankill and Shankill just puffs out his fur."  Ioni
"That seems..." GM
"He's a fluffy little weasel."  ioni
"I don't know if I would want to ride on the undercarriage of a giant ice weasel."  GM
"I'm getting a Taun Taun vibe here, but Shankill is slightly more useful than Fox." Kadon
"We're not slicing open Shankill.  You're not hurting my weasel."  Ioni
"Exactly my point."  Kadon
"Kadon, don't you dare touch my weasel." Ioni
"But you can touch mine." Kadon
"No." Ioni

"But don't you have a pocket tea set?" Ioni
"No.."  GM
"What do you wear your Monicle with?"  Zuko
"Regular tea.  That's why you bring your pack animals and people to carry your palanquin."  GM
"that's what Kadon needs, a palanquin." Kadon
"Oh, I'll be happy to carry it for you." Zuko
"Right off a cliff." Ioni
"Yep."  Zuko

"Just because the womens moans are coming out of the headphones doesn't mean you should stick your dick in."  Zuko
"Well he might be in for the shock of his life." Ioni
"Fuckin' well known counter magnetic properties of spooge."  Kadon
"Early on in Kadons book of 'I jizzed on a thousand things and here's what happened.'" Zuko
"That would be an awesome book."  Kadon
"It's a coffee table book."  Zuko
"There that's better.  sorry about that." GM
*Giggles*
"Something at my expense no doubt.." GM
"It might appear on the quote board later.  Something too sticky on your microphone?" Ioni
"No, the cord for the microphone keeps, for some odd reason getting into this weird tangled knot, so I have to take the headphones off and hangit by the cord and let it spin until it gets the tangle off." GM
"Whatever gets you off." Ioni
"I'm sure in your version it's much better." GM
"In my version you want to pull it." Zuko
"Huh?"  GM
"Get going.... Oooo!  A Newberry award, that means it's a childrens book!" Zuko

*Flush*
"Kadon, you're not supposed to take us into the bathroom."  Ioni
"I didn't." Kadon

"No, she wants her wedding bands." GM petulently
"Mnemia wants her robots, but we don't all get what we want." Mnemia
"Do you want to go back in the cage?" Zuko
"No..." GM
"Well we'll go take a look but I don't want you bitching the whole way home because we couldn't find your wedding bands on top of saving your ass." Zuko

"I'm pretty sure Mnemia and ZIS... I hope they don't reproduce." Mnemia
"Oh we have ways." Zuko
"I know there's ways.  They just need to not happen." Mnemia
"What, you're doing so well with the first brood, you don't want to try for another?" GM
"No."  Mnemia
"Cmon...."  Ioni
"First brood is causing Mnemia to consider ripping her ovaries out with her Daiklave." Mnemia
"Wow, cuz that's not graphic at all." GM

The board erupts in random drawings.
"Hahaha." GM
"D'OH MY GOD." Ioni
"You guys.. you made a mistake... hold on.." Zuko
"You're having children through Scarlet?  You're using them like condoms now?" GM

"whose stealing my squirrels?"  Kadon
"Taking them off." Zuko
"Why do you hate the fur pile... they were about to start yiffing."  Kadon
"I assumed that was Zuko doing that." GM
"No, I'm the one removing them now.  There's too many of them."  Zuko
"I don't know how endowed you think Zuko is, but I don't think he can reach Scarlet through that much squirrel."  GM

"He is short, and strong, and why is Scooby Doo suddenly.. Sigh." GM
"Short and strong huh..." Mnemia
"It's the Dwarves!  The mountain folk!" Kadon
"It's not offensive if it doesn't make any sense." Mnemia
"I don't know what Scooby Doo has to do with any of that." Kadon
"Short and strong thats what you get from the pedestles." GM
"It's Gavin." Ioni

"Ioni isn't called fire crotch because she has red hair." Zuko
"According to the picture she has black hair but... ohhhhhhhhhhh." GM

"I take a look at the broken fluid containers." Ioni
"They are glass, and broken with fluid starting to dry from being exposed to air."  GM
"Whats this fluid, Kadon." Ioni
"Well I open up my coffee table book."  Kadon

Ioni links something.
"Nope, not doing it." GM

"........ GEEZE! The fact that he has 'counts as masturbation' on his head." GM
"No, it's cuz Gavin and Sora count as masturbation." Mnemia
"Cuz it's the same player.. hahahaha..." GM

"Also, why are there a pair of bones coming down off of Gavin and Sora?" GM
"I'm not sure those are bones." Kadon
"Those are boners."  Ioni
"Pretty sure those are boners." Mnemia
"I'm pretty sure that just signifys boning." Zuko
"Ohhhhh eww.  By the way, those are really horrible testicles you drew." GM
"Pretty sure those got sewn together when you were little." Ioni
"Just going out on a limb, but an art critique is not the best response." Kadon

"Alrighty, thats the most offensive thing I've seen.  Dick Cheney as a Dominatrix."  GM
"Y'know, you definitly do not want to say, with Ioni in ear shot 'that's the most offensive thing I've ever seen.'" Mnemia
"Seriously, I'm trying to figure out if you are fucking retarded literally or if you just never learn."  Zuko
"It's offensive to me that someone would find him attractive sexually."  GM
"No no, dude, like you keep going 'wow, that's the worst thing ever...' You need to get out on the internet more and understand what truely is out there otherwise shit is going to shock you your entire life!  There's weird shit out there" Zuko
"Just give me a couple minutes, I could photo shop that thing with Dick Cheney into something way more offensive." Mnemia

"I'm just trying to figure out how to take out half the pillars in this place causing it to collapse on itself and just say fuck this noise." Zuko
"That might not be a good idea, cuz it might cause this place to explode." Mnemia

"Why did I waste this on Mnemia?  Oh well, there's always tomorrow." GM on an NPCs attack choice, and Ioni laughs.  "Well for me!  Not for the creature I am puppeteering."

"Helloooo Overdrive, and by that I mean goodbyeeee overdrive." Zuko

"Shouldn't that be an S E not a C E?" Mnemia
"Probably."  Kadon
"That or C S," Mnemia
"It's gonna be forever before he sees that." Zuko
"I know, and it'll be awesome." Kadon

"Yeah well fuck you." Zuko
"Why..." Kadon
"Cuz I don't want you getting a decent DV like me." Zuko

"Also, I love fucking popcorn.... I love to eat popcorn." GM
"I was going to ask, why are you fucking popcorn." Ioni
"Let me start again, I hate all you guys." GM
"That would explain why there is rythmic crunching over there.  I take it you enjoy soggy popcorn... It's probably in the coffee book that Kadon made." Ioni
"Of course!  It's hard to come up with a thousand things." Kadon
"And if he lets it sit, it becomes caramelized almost, wouldn't you say so GM?" Ioni

"It's an actual person!" Ioni listening to Wikipedia being read out loud.
"Dude or chick?" Kadon
"Dude!  With an English Accent! Thank you Mnemia, I'll have to share this at work!" Ioni
"I'll say it, fuck you Mnemia.  I'll have to deal with her talking about this now." Zuko
"The supplemental illustration on the white board was... a special touch." Kadon
"Looks like hieroglyphic." Zuko
"Kind of... you might have to scroll down GM" Kadon
"Huh?  I don't know what you're talking about.. I don't wanna know what you're talking about." GM

"Anywho, who wants to know what happened to the guy Ioni shot."  GM
"I do, I wanna see if I impregnated him."  Ioni
"Sigh.. First of all, that's not how sex works. I really hope, Ioni this whole time, owner of multiple brothels does not think that thats how this works.  Otherwise there's going to be this slew of injuries across Nexus." GM
"I have been spending quite a bit of time with ZIS lately." Ioni
"Okay, so there is one person in the entire universe of Exalted that would get off on that.  Just wondering how much further we have to take this until Kadon explodes cuz I keep hearing him choke back laughter in the background." GM
"Oh he'll explode, but not in the way that you're thinking." Zuko
"Pretty much." Ioni
"Alright, now I'm really done with this." GM
"No you're not.  You're intrigued.  You want to know more." Ioni
"So the guy gets shot, jumps forward disrupting the ritual.  Uhm..  There is a magical discharge throughout the room." GM
Giggles galore.
"DAMMIT!" GM
"HOW could that not have occured to you!  HOW?!  Answer me... how...?" Kadon
"It's like taking candy from a baby... so funny.  Anyway, back to discharge.  You okay over there GM?  You're not leaking are you?" Ioni
"WHAT?!" Zuko
"No, I'm choking on popcorn.  I muted my mic so you wouldn't hear my death throes as this kernel choked me to death" GM
"Kinky.  Didn't know the Colonel did it for you." Ioni
"Were you choking before or after the magical discharge?" Zuko
"Aww fuck it, the tower blows up and you all die."   GM
"If you're choking that hard, just y'know... put a couple fingers down there and ..." Kadon
"just... relax, stop fighting it." Ioni
"Take ten, just move back, talk dirty a little, move your hands, recompose yourself."  Zuko

"You guys give me shit for not seeing the internet, but at least I click on the link." GM
"Yeah and you bitch about it." Ioni
"Yeah but... meh." GM

"And some cultists." Ioni
"Wait, there are cultists?  I thought there were invisible dudes doing the ritual." Kadon
"It is invisible dudes...  I don't know where she went to." GM
"It's Ioni." Zuko
"Could lead into an entirely new background to Ioni's cult." Kadon


"So I have 84 damage dice per invisible creature, do you want me to roll all of that?" Mnemia
"Roll it once." GM
"53 damage.... against the wounded creature I have 66 dice for 29 damage... against the healthy demon, I have 50 dice for 19 damage." Mnemia

"I did something good this time?" Ioni
"Pegging, as good as counter magic."  Mnemia
"YAY!" Ioni
"I don't know about you, but pegging would distract my attention." GM

"His professional opinion is Ioni is a fuckin' moron.  Unfortunately, her theory isn't entirely off from reality, and he feels dirty for admitting that." GM
"I made Karam feel dirty! Yeah boy, get in your place!" Ioni

"Now you're just trying to distract him, Ioni." Kadon
"Is it safe to click on the link?" GM
"It's a link submitted by Ioni... what do you think." Ioni
"Do your hands blister easily?" Kadon
"Ohyea her.. That's what she looks like.  I have that picture" GM
"Is it in your book of fapping?" Ioni
"I have a lot of anime pictures, not all of them are for fapping." GM
"Alot of them are." Mnemia
"Most of them are." Ioni
"That's an on again, off again fap." Zuko
"It's cute and all but it's not really." GM
"This needs to stop..." Kadon
"I like her character.  At least she's of age.  Excuse me for not wanting statutory rape.  DUDE What is that thing!?" GM

"Oh it's a gif, this'll be awesome!" Mnemia
"You sound way too excited." GM

"Though you're never sure when they are over, especially the longer ones. I was talking about gifs, don't know what you were talking about." GM
"Penises." Ioni

"Ioni has a new best friend, just hope it's not one of the holocruxs."  GM
"Holocruxes?" Ioni
"You not seen Harry Potter." GM
"Those are horcruxes." Ioni
"He was combining holocrons and cruxes.." Zuko

"That's not funny, Ioni." Zuko
"That's funny and I think cats are the devil."  GM
"We have gone far down the rabbit hole with this." Kadon
"Speaking of rabbit holes, has GM scrolled down recently?" Zuko
"I scrolled down and then decided not... what the..... Is this supposed to be an upside down fist bump NOPE! I see what this is... scrolling back up." GM

Things left in Roxi's tower
"Sack of charcoal.. can of diet coke..." Zuko
"Is this somebodies W2 form?" Kadon
"Did you write Gavin on the walls?" Zuko
"Given that he was in the last city she was in... that's kind of being a dick even for you." GM
"Hey... You don't know my dick capabilities..." Zuko
"He wants all dick capabilities." Ioni
"I don't want one dick capability, I want all dick capabilities." Zuko

"What do you do with your new book?"  GM
"I hug it and put it on a shelf."  Ioni
"Okay, you have a new friend.  I think.. We'll see in the coming weeks."  GM
"I don't want to open the book.  I will wait until it says its okay, I don't want to violate its trust." Ioni
"Fuckin' hate you people.  This is all your fault, Kadon" Zuko
"I was thinking, do I really want to give you guys the book of three circles?  Then it occures to me, what the fuck would you guys do with!  None of you want to learn sorcery. At least its amusing with her." GM
"I might read it later.  At least it's a kindly old gentleman who likes to tell stories.  But if its going to be one of those rapey kinds, no.  I don't do rapey books." Ioni
"This is like finding Excalibur and handing it to the kid with downs." Zuko
"This does explain why the book of three circles reads like a romance novel." Kadon
"I got bored, I had to rewrite a bit of it." Ioni

"You will strip naked for all countermagic, deal with it!" Ioni
"Are we back on Envy yet?!" Mnemia

"So Mnemia, you hear your name followed by a string of angry words.... do you wish to accept the phone call?" GM

"By the way, people are getting fit." GM on the whore house being at the top of the mountain in Nexus.
"Why did she turn into a mountain?" Kadon
"Because it's an I know you want me, so come at me bro." GM
"I'll ask a weird question.  can't you punch a mountain?" Zuko
"Because a mountain has dodge excellencies." GM
"AS A MOUNTAIN?!" Zuko
"It's complicated." GM
"I'm gonna go grapple a mountain." Zuko

"Somebody find me a kid with a scar and an orange sweat shirt..." Kadon

"What if we turn that off." Zuko
"We can't." Kadon
"What if we break it." Zuko
"That would be unwise." Kadon
"But we have you to fix it!" Ioni
"You can fix it!" Zuko

"You said Lucy, everyone else thought Lucy, I though Ophelia and I was like.. YOu... What the..... you! stoppit!" Kadon
"She's standing right next to you!" GM
"Stoppit!  Very bad primordial!" Kadon

"oh fine.. and once again I've done it...  Where the fuck is my girlfriend?" Kadon

"Ioni goes into distraction/newfriend making mode." Ioni
"Like a feedback loop of.." Kadon
"Idiots." Zuko
"We just start talking to eachother in a high pitch." Ioni
"It's like two modems having sex." GM

"So I'm thinking I need to add an elder lunar to my harem.  How do you feel about having a father in law, Zuko." Kadon
"Try it." Zuko

"You can fuck the elder lunar later." Zuko
"So Mnemia gets to be your daddy, not Kadon." Mnemia
"Lets see if we can create some loops in the family tree."  Kadon

"Everyone in the circle except Zuko is sleeping with Zukos mother in law." Kadon

"Unconquered Sun jizz." Ioni
"I imagine its a fantastic cock.  Breathtaking." Zuko
"Prolly multip pronged." GM

"Does the receipt match the jade?" Ioni
"And Zukos inability to read comes back to bite him with his thievery." Kadon
"I can read." Zuko

A link for our GM  LINK! because he's always surprised as to what is found on the web.