I don't know how to wield a sword....

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"Apparently there is an exhibit of this one at the HOM.  You could go visit, Hachiro." GM
"That lady needs a sammich." Hachiro
"This lady took her sammich.... And then there is the pedophile."  Kazuko
"Why..." Hachiro
"Doesn't that make you think, Hachiro?  Doesn't evoke some sort of emotion in you?"  Kazuko
"Should the emotional response I'm having be eww.???" Hachiro
"You just want to go back to the lady who needs a sammich don't you." GM

"If you wanna take a nap, go fuck a bitch and pass out." Kazuko
"Sure." GM
"That was uh.. something to say."  Sanbi

"For the next episode, I'd like to introduce the fact that everybody has been boinking your various pets."  GM
"Wha???" Sanbi
"Whose fuckin' the pets?" Kazuko
"Sanbi" GM

"Wouldn't the right hand of the daimyo be a rival for her affections?" Kazuko
"They aren't necessarily talking about the wife or the guy who jacks hiim off, so..." GM
"Nevermind." Kazuko
"The daimyo is the daimyo, he doesn't have to masturbate himself.  He can get someone to do it for him." GM
"How did we.... how ... how did we?" Sanbi
"Because we always do." Kazuko


"Of all the people at court, if the Mantis is the polite one, the Mantis is probably lying to you."  Kazuko
"I wouldn't necessarily say polite.  I'm just trying to observe... the rules."  Hachiro
"So you plop down next to her and you say 'what up bitch, talk to me about mountains.'" Kazuko

"Hachiro, how many times has your character broken out into the 'I'm on a boat' song?" Kazuko

"The artist is writing sonnets about you, praising your investigative abilities, and your honor for the artisans.." GM
"Oh you're screwed." Kazuko
"Yeah this doesn't sound like good things." Hachiro
"You used evidence and investigation to shame a samurai.  You're gonna get fuckin' beat with soap in your sleep." Kazuko

"I think it was made clear in the last session that if this were true, he would need to commit seppuku.  You proved that it was true, and he committed seppuku.. You were killing the man, Hachiro.  Killed him with your own two hands." Kazuko
"No... killed him with his tongue." GM.... silence before giggles.
"I don't even say anything and the shit just comes over." Hachiro

"I will tell a story about how I warned that the walking dead were upon our shores....  leaving out certain parts."  Hachiro
"How about a story about you're on a boat." Kazuko

"...various chickens and small children." GM
"I see..." Sanbi
"It has to be small children." Kazuko
"Well it tastes just like chicken.  c'mon!" GM
"Kitsune are good luck."  Sanbi
"Until it jumps on your small child."  Kazuko
"Until it eats your small child." Hachiro
"It's only gonna scalp it." GM
"Trust me, they are much more terrifying when they turn into women." Sanbi
"That's only cuz they are gonna eat your dick and not give it back." GM
"Wow, you have a very different image of the Kitsune than I do."  Sanbi

"Porn is usually enjoyable." Hachiro
"WAVE OFF DUDE!" Sanbi

"Sorry, I'm trying to activate all female genes to see how to turn this on you and make you feel really bad." GM
"Puppy dog eyes and tears." Kazuko
"Yes, I think she will tear up and say 'is my company really that bad.?'" GM
"As I said clearly before.." Sanbi
"Yes..  crazy bitch!  begone... BEGONE!" Kazuko

"I'm sure my first piece of advice to him would be, well you should probably make an honest woman of her." Hachiro
"Next time, don't stick your dick in 'em." Kazuko
"I DIDN'T!  For once." Sanbi
"Are you absolutely certain of that?" Hachiro
"Yes, I have learned my lesson!" Sanbi

"And trying to be suspect and discreet about my going arounds." Hachiro
"I think you mean circumspect." Sanbi
"Yeah, cuz suspect means people think you're doing it." GM
"Whatever... shut it..." Hachiro

"The dick does have to go into the vagina for the baby to happen." GM
"That usually helps." Hachiro
"Wait a minute, Mnemia has a problem with this." Kazuko
"Mnemia is not here.  Besides the ghost just shoved a little ectoplasm in there." GM
"I don't think that's how that worked." Kazuko
"Wow... uh... wow." Sanbi
"Hachiro just vicariously raped Mnemia...." GM

"You can't get her pregnant twice.  It's a free ride for at least a couple months." Kazuko

"If you would like to fuck the pregnant lady, you can fuck the pregnant lady." GM
"Yeah no, there's maho involved.  Until we determine where it came from, I'm going to refrain from putting my dick in it." Hachiro
"But it's nice and warm.  Anyway, moving on." GM
"Wow GM... just Wow..." Sanbi

"You don't know jack shit.  You think you're all alone.  You think you could go buck naked and no one would see you." GM
"Kazuko would like you to not go naked.  She would see it." Kazuko
"You would go blind."  GM
"You don't want a second crying woman on your hands do you?" Kazuko

"The other thing about Kazuko you notice is that she is some what of a smart ass.  Not all of these comments are out of character." Kazuko
"Just like you." GM

"It's an interacial kami, and goddammit, we only have pure kami around here.  You're a pure earth kami or you're no kami at all."  GM
"That's... racist?" Sanbi
"That's kamicist." GM
"Thaaaaat's Rokugan!" Hachiro

"So now, to prevent a war, I'm going to stick my dick in it!" Hachiro
"So this guy who hates you, first you discredit his father and he kills himself, then you stick your dick in his sister... I don't think this is going to help you." Kazuko
"Maybe I should send him a picture of me with my thumbs up.." Hachiro
"While balls deep in his sister."  Sanbi
"Maybe, but I don't think I want to go there." Hachiro
"While on a boat." Kazuko