Long Over Due Catch up

This is a collective group of quotes from several games.  I'll try to parse them out in a reasonable format.

Sins Group: The Spies who loved Explosions

"Okay, looking at your character.  Matthew, is your safety Snowden's Apartment?!" GM(Kadon)

"Don't get Johanna pregnant." Parker (Ioni)
"I'm down with not getting pregnant." Johanna (Mnemia)

"DAMMIT! Fucking B.S." FWong (Zuko)

"Yeah, you just blew three guys up." GM (Kadon)
"It's raining men!" Parker (Ioni) singing

"She's a little murder bot." FWong (Zuko)


D&D: FURPILE AHOY!
"Bonded Charge.  I'm bonded to my sword." Stasi
"So thats what you call it." Thava

"Yeah, now I can sense when Havok is in trouble in one mile." Thava
"That could get a little weird." Havok
"Yep, given your predilections for sex." Thava

"That's pretty fucked up Thava." GM
"Scroll down." Thava
"NO!" GM

"What does seduction fall under?" GM
"Intimidate." Thava

"31 as I investigate the portal." Stasi
"With your dick?" Kroak?
"C'mon, it's been flirting with you." GM
"Just the tip." Thava

"Can you use windwall on the part and knock us out of it?  What's the damage?" Kroak
"2d6+6." Havok
"Okay, do it." Kroak
Havok crits.
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." GM
"How much damage is that?" Thava
"37." Havok


L5R (A different game)

"That's what happens when you freeze a ninja with nitrogen and smash it upon the ground.  It bursts into a million tiny ninjas." GM

"Yo dawg, I heard you like yurts." GM

"I said 'shit yer aboshi!' and the fight was on." GM

"Usually someone gets smacked in the butt." Unicorn Bushi
"With an axe." Hida

"Do you have any supernatural sense- Ghibli?" GM

"It's like somebody pitched a tent and there's nothing inside it." GM
"I know that feel." Scorpion

"There is much of Minsk for Boo to hide on." Hida

"Do I have time to have my kimono of gold bars made." Scorpion
"No." GM
"What about a codpiece of gold." Hida
"In the shape of a scorpion tail..." Scorpion

"Luckily there are all these crane eye for this crab guy." Hida

"Step one is buy a screen.  Step two is to cut a hole in the screen." Hida
"Step four: profit." Kakita

"Oooo pusht it... push it real good.  Doji doji doji doji." Hida

"Rule number one is never fuck a scorpion geisha." GM
"No, rule number one is never start a war in asia!" Hida


Pathfinder Group:
Signs created for the giant table of minis.
Vampires live here.  5c per pint.
Dirty bard sex: shot and shampoo extra.

"You cleaved the table in twain again so its now a super table." GM

"My name is Aldren Foxglove." GM
"Bahahah!  Fucksglove?" Rocky
"FOXglove." GM

"They are not people, they are small!" Bullwinkle



Abyssal Game:
"We all make GMs cry because of Mechanics.  You make a GM doubt their faith in God." Zuko

"You get essence for devouring corpses.  I'm going to make so much jerky." Zuko

"How badly does this put Mnemia to shame?  Do I need to personally be offended?" GM/Mnemia



SG1 Game:
"Guys, he went uphill.  That's where you go to hide a body.  Look for a cliff.  Trust me, I went to college."  Penth