No peeing on shit.

"So how badly did you hurt your self?" GM
"Well, there may be extra protein with the fish, like I said."  Ioni
"Alrighty then." GM
"No, I did not hurt myself.  I am better with a knife than that."  Ioni
"Okay.....  For cooking right?"  GM
"... Suuure?"  Ioni

"So I discovered something called death battles today... or friday I guess now..."  GM
"Was this at your BDSM club?"  Ioni
"No." GM

"By the way, Ioni, if it was a date.  I would not have given you guys the option to say no.  And Zuko, fuck you."  GM

"... and that was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and they just blew up."  GM
"Way to go, GM, you broke them apart."  Zuko
"I was a cylon, I was only trying to kill them!" GM

"This will make Ioni more of a whore..." Zuko
"Woooo!" Ioni
"Sorry about that, what did I miss?"  GM
"Well we were going to remove the remove intimacies power and instead have the alchemical post fucking power."  Zuko
"Post... fucking... power?" GM
"Not literally post fucking.. the after fucking ability." Kadon
"I understand the grammar involved."  GM

"Just want to point out, someone should stop Mnemia from coming to whatever conlusion she's going to at this point."  Mnemia on a triple botch.
"What the fuck dude!" Zuko
"I'm helping."  Mnemia
"Wooooooow.  That's impressive."  Kadon



"I'm going to point out that Monkey Butler only wanted one of these people, of these flying monkey things."  Zuko
"To put his penis in.  I assume that's what you were alluding to." GM
"Right. If we could keep one of them around, I"m sure he'd appreciate it." Zuko
"Well I'm sure we could find him soemthing to fuck, it shouldn't be too hard."  Mnemia
"As I believe you yourself noted, I could just make some."  Kadon
"They'd probably be hotter too."  Mnemia
"The fact that we are contemplating hot monkies, is.."  Kadon
"What's this 'we' shit?  I'm over here trying to run a game."  GM
"Hot vicious monkey sex."  Zuko

"You're basking in your awesomeness."  GM
"Thought about it." Mnemia
"Got afterglow!" Ioni

"Zuko, you think she is a sucky ass guardian.  You would hope to god that if she was guarding your manse, you'd know already about solars wandering through it who are totemic.  Mnemia, you think she's off to call the guards.  Ioni, she is definitly out of it.  This animated intelligence you are dealing with, Ioni you would perhaps put it up to her being drunk, intoxicated or taken a blow to the head.  Kadon, you get a slower thought, if she's part of the manse, she should not be so flakey.[...]"  GM
"Awesome, well she's drunk." Ioni
"Mnemia is going to take off."  Mnemia
"Ioni's going to hole Mnemia's progress and say 'its okay its okay, she's drunk.'"  Ioni
"It's okay, it's okay, it's cool she's drunk.  This is from Ioni?  I don't think Mnemia waits for Ioni's explanation."  Mnemia
"I don't think Ioni can hold Mnemia back.  She's going along with that train as long as that train is going."  GM
"Most likely."  Ioni

"She's going down the summoning circle and killing everything."  Mnemia
"With Ioni cliiiinging to her shoulder."  Ioni
"Go ahead and kill everything, that's cool."  Kadon

"Hehehhe"  Ioni after a skype download.
"It could fit comfortably.... why Mnemia, why.  I don't even know if I want to click the button."  GM
"Hahahah." Kadon
"Am I going to be offended by this?[..]  Wow that took you like no time, dude."  Zuko
"[......]  What the hell.... There's something wrong with you, dude."  GM

"You say that with a little too much authority, GM.  Next time, try to convince us you don't fap to hentai."  Kadon
"Yeah GM."  Mnemia
"Cuz we certainly know that Kadon has never looked at hentai"  Zuko
"Obviously not.  I know nothing about anthropomorphic pollen."  Kadon
"That series is funny."  GM
"It really is."  Kadon
"The premis is... what?  the pollen is what?"  GM
"And its just... well, it's the pollen again."  Zuko
"Pollen is not that big!" GM
"The phrase I hate allergy season has never run less true."  Kadon
"Well for some of that, allergy season has a bit of an upside to it."  Zuko
"Unless you're a girl and straight... unless you're a guy."  GM
"Clearly we.."  Kadon
"We need to pull this conversation over..."  GM

"And just... to put my mind at ease.  Mnemia, please tell me you had to google for that image and you didn't have it on hand and ready to go..."  GM
"What do you mean?  That's July!" Zuko
"It's a preview GM! It's free!" Mnemia
"You're all horrible people." GM

"I was hoping he was like, lets find something on the internet and add myself to the FBI database now and not that I've had this on hand and now is the perfect time to use it."  GM

"She inquires weather or not you know she's bait for a trap, right?"  GM
"Yeah, we don't really care."  Zuko

"Are you fapping or talking to GM?" Zuko to Kadon
"I'm pressing buttons on my keyboard."  Kadon
"Note, he didn't rule both of them out."  Zuko
"I am navigating my space ships... shush."  Kadon

"So, I always carry a pair of jumper cables for Mnemia's war strider.." Kadon

"Basically you want [Ioni] to grab onto two poles and have the electricity go through her instead?" GM
"Yup!" Mnemia and Zuko
"Oh my gosh.  Kadon, roll me a smart person roll... for manse." GM resignedly.
"I offered to engineer a solution here earlier but no one wanted it."  Kadon
"I think they want to electrocute Ioni to see if they can get the stupid out."  Ioni

"You're going to have to lay down on this thing, so its going to be tingly for a little while."  GM
"Kinky?"  Ioni
"Wrong kind of tingle."  GM
"And all the vibrators in her pack go off all at once."  Mnemia
"Dammit, you guys weren't supposed to know about that."  Ioni
"And all the vibrators reach super speed.  They cannot take that much power captain!"  Zuko
"I just took a drink!  Don't do that!" GM
"How many times can Ioni cum while we lift this weight?"  Mnemia
"If she's into this kind of shit, ZIS is going to be jealous.  ZIS'd probably be all over this thing."  Zuko

"For the record, while Kadon's down there, Zuko will be like, Mnemia, it would be funny if we just dropped this on him."  Zuko
"If you make me laugh, I actually will drop it."  Mnemia
"At which point, Ioni might buzz out a joke and say so about this one whore who walked into a bar."  Ioni
"Fortunately it doesn't take that long for Kadon to fly back on up."  GM
"I can teleport out of here and leave you fuckers if you want."  Kadon

"Question... I was thinking Zuko might pee on something so that whoever owns this household, comes back and discovers it and can smell really well, gets pissed off a little."  Ioni
"Do not taunt... the psychotic Elder Lunar." Kadon
"Cuz she's gonna totally be fine with us stealing Fox back."  Mnemia
"Look, there is doing things she will disagree with violently, and then there is just being a dick about it."  Kadon
"Now I'm scratching, Dear Roxy, go fuck yourself - Kadon Cind."  Zuko
"When did you learn to write?"  Kadon
"I write it in Old Realm.  Besides, Ioni, pissing on things please....  I would j'paff Roxy if she were here.  Pissing on things is so last century.  Now breaking her entire tower until its a giant cock..."  Zuko
"Start punching out entire floors up top until you get a nice rounded head?" Mnemia
"Yup." Zuko

"I was just thinking marking territory."  Ioni
"Yeah, cuz that's the way to get to a Lunars heart."  GM
"I don't know, it's animalistic..." Ioni
"My plan to get to the Lunars heart is through her fucking chest.. with my fist."  Zuko

When it comes..... yeah.

After the game starts late. "As long as progress was made, that's ok." Ioni "What? Progress? You guys haven't figured this shit out yet? Thought we were close." Mnemia "Did you complete it?" Ioni "No." Kadon "Just a warning, I will have to take the occassional break more often because I feel as if I am fighting off the plague, and one of the things I am trying to do is drink plenty of fluids and orange juice so my throat does not become sore from talking to you folks." GM "So what you're saying is you're going to have to piss more and you're not gonna take us into the bathroom with you." Ioni "That I had also considered. Also and uh..." GM "Why don't you not say anything, and we'll run the game. We got this, right guys?" Mnemia "Yeah, totally." Ioni "Uh huh. Also, once again, no on the fucking calendar." GM "Aw, why not." Ioni "Because there are things one cannot unsee, and I do not need to make the game of Cthulu a real live place." GM "Oh, we found that the other day!" Ioni "Well the man is mostly tentacles. Just no, Ioni. If I want to destroy someon's brain, I would give you 50 bucks and unleash you on them, which I'm sure will be an act of mutual destruction." GM "So, I don't see any options to get a customized 365 Calendar, but we can customize a 12 month for about 13 bucks." Mnemia "Awesome!" Ioni "Et tu, Mnemia?" GM "We need to find 12 most potent images possible." Mnemia "What's the gneral category here? Are we going for anime? Tentacle? Gay? Straight? Lesbian? Transgendered?" Ioni "I don't know why we have to limit ourselves." Mnemia "It's just that on each of them I can find 15, 20 or 35 images for each category." Ioni "Bestiality seems to set him off quite a bit. Marine bestiality in particular. That might be the way to go." Mnemia "Mnemia, is this because you had to chase after your children? Or because I got you pregnant?" GM "There was something on Kotaku yesterday, about giraffe furry porn. Like 69ing giraffes. Apparently they are very flexible." Kadon "Right. Who needs to die in a fire." GM "Oh, suddenly glad I am not moving to Seattle." GM "Oh then we'd just get you a banner." Ioni "Shower curtain? Shower curtain with some dolphin raping somebody. See that every time he gets naked and wet." Mnemia "Well it could all just be in text, so that every time he takes a shower he gets to read about it and the images are just implanted in his head." Ioni "I feel like I have been run over multiple times by a steam roller." GM "You do know it's not cool to play in a construction zone." Ioni "Yeah, no. That's probably the first mistake." GM "They are all still marked as Creatures of Darkness,[...] but they can now all see." GM "So they will be able to see when we decide we need to kill them." Ioni "It's better when they see us coming. It's more fun." Mnemia "Well your weapon is currently broken though." Ioni "Huh?" GM "He missed, err she missed." Ioni "Don't know if you really want to bring that up with her or not." GM "Well it's broken." Ioni "I'm gonna miss that little guy. The first guy to get a miss on Mnemia in just years!" GM "Ressurect him so I can just kill him again?" Mnemia "You'll have to talk to your crazy girlfriend who is outside murderlating bodies." GM "Currently flipping out." Mnemia "If anyone takes more pleasure in murdering things than you, it's her." GM "That's why the relationship works." Mnemia "We could to business cards as well." Mnemia back to the calendar "They do christmas ornaments as well." Ioni "Hang it from the tree!" Mnemia "HOT DOLPHIN!" Ioni "There is something seriously wrong with you people." GM "She is happy. She just got to murderlate a bunch of people without anybody from Yu-Shan or the underworld giving her shit for it. She's allowed to wear the combatant of her last victim on her head like a hat." GM "So Bloodthirsty happy not cheerleader happy." Mnemia "Sure. Although I kind of equate the two as the same. The only real issue with her..." GM *Dice roll* "Good god." Mnemia "I'm a socializer, bitch!" Ioni "We're burning our mojo way too soon. Is there a pill for that?" Mnemia "Yes, it's blue. But you have to see the doctor after four hours. And if you buy them online, chances are its fake." Ioni "If overwhelming successes lasts for more than four hours..." GM "Please feel free to go to the gambling tables in Vegas." Ioni "If you experience infinite mastery, with overwhelming successes lasting more than 12 hours." Kadon "Consult a doctor, also you're welcome." GM "If so, it would be nice to get a smarty pants roll on this." Mnemia "It's the hidden ability of a socialite. If you don't have linguistics 5 and you can't speak everything, you're doing it wrong." Mnemia "I'm all over this tonight. Derpa derp derp derp." Kadon "You're better than your GM tonight." GM "That inspires a lot of confidence in me. The discussion you guys were having about the charms while both of you are fried out of your minds... There are now craft charms that replace Ride charms. You've added horses to them all." Mnemia "Robo horses, how did you guess." Kadon "I will begin learning this language." Kadon "Okay." GM "Can I learn the bawdy bits. I don't mean body as in human body." Ioni "Thank you Ioni." GM "Porn, naked, get the swear words under control first." Mnemia "Swear words are the best words to learn first. What if we come up against a search engine where we need to look for porn in this language. We need to learn those words!" Ioni "Start talking to the Eye of Autocthon with these words. Oh boy are we gonna get some good stuff." Mnemia "You also get the impression she is aware her sleeper agents have activate and at the very least were unable to kill Ioni." GM "Again, I will repeat my request. I want her head. I think I have cause now." Ioni "But she's like your BFF and stuff!" Mnemia "I know, but I just want her head so I can re-animate it every once in a while when I need a tea party. Besides, I have a wonderful recipe for head cheese." Ioni "....ew." Kadon "Do I get to play with that one?" GM on a botch from Mnemia "Go for it. Apparently one of my search rolls was not awesome. Which is what happens when you have three dice and roll them over and over again." Mnemia *Ioni rolls* "I got a botch too." Ioni "Oh for the love of god. OMG, something, come over here. That's a fucking nail, what are you smoking. The nail had to come from somewhere! Yeah, that box of nails on the shelf. Goddammit, just go interrogate someone or something. ARGH!" Kadon "So Ioni, you discover a box that has some kind of magical curse currently on it. Uh Kadon, you need to stop her from putting forks in the fucking microwave! Mnemia, you believe you have found some contraband that has been brough on board that might be uh.. a bomb or perhaps a well disguised beam claive or multi tool device. Uhh, Kadon and Ioni you can both identify it as a one dot useless vibrating artefact object." GM "Ioni didn't fucking recognize a sex toy?" Kadon "That was Mnemia's botch." Mnemia "I see. We got that, slightly less horrible I guess." Kadon "You also have a mortified intern, I'll figure out that one later." GM "All I'm saying..." Kadon "The one with the boyfriend... Gotta be Silken Sky." Mnemia "We're helping!" Mnemia "So, 4 1 2 3 2 3." Kadon rolling on Zuko's behalf. "Wow... You're a shitty Zuko." GM "Fuck me..." Kadon "You're the worst Zuko Ever!" GM "That was terrible!" Kadon "Well, Zuko is not in any fear of losing his job today." GM "So, for what it's worth and whenever he gets back. Zuko is terrible at searching. We know this because we let him try. But at least he is not as terrible as you two." Kadon "Did you all not get enough of spreadsheets when you were children?" GM when we move a list to google docs and start organizing it. "When all is said and done, Mnemia you are now in the possession of a new vibrator. The intern does not take the time to retrieve it from you." GM "I'm pretty sure Mnemia's not walking around with it. If her response is 'Oh my god, its a penis shaped bomb' She's not gonna pick it up and haul it over to Kadon like it's a bone. Kadon Kadon Kadon, what is it? What is it? she would have left it where it is, and Kadon would have come an looked at it and said no, it's not a bomb, and it would have stayed there." Mnemia "Is it an evil vibrator? I'm not sure how you make one of those. Anything is possible.... It Is Exalted." Kadon "Dammit, now I'm thinking of mechanics, where it starts to drain away intimacies the more you use it." GM Ioni goes link surfing which is followed by snorting laughter. "I'm sure that would have been the same look. What is that on the end of the ... the stimulator. That little white thing coming off the top of it." GM "You do know this is called a rabbit, right?" Ioni "I have heard them mentioned before by certain friends, yes." GM "Ask your former room mate." Ioni "No. I'm unaware she knows what a rabbit is, and I don't want to know if she knows what a rabbit is." GM "GM.... And Ioni back me up on this. She knows what a rabbit is." Kadon "I prefer to stay in denial of whatever she does in her private time." GM "The only thing I have ever heard over there is the night when a cat tried to maul her." GM "Are you sure it was a cat." Ioni "There is a super high setting." Mnemia "There is a difference between Oh my god, more. And Holy fuck holy fuck holy shit damn fuck." GM "Not if you're doing it right." Kadon Links "What the hell is... A.) I don't have an android phone." GM "Wh...the.....wha.... What am I looking at here. It's got screen shots... so to speak. And I guess that is fairly evil looking." Kadon "I'm guessing she hooks it up and you can control it with an android app." Ioni "Possibly. Possibly it just makes your phone vibrate." Kadon "Possibly. At least, 10,000-50,000 people know what it does." GM "I'm also fairly certain there are no actual she's involved in this project. I'm just speculating based on the internet." Kadon "Apparently there is a related basement waterproofing app." Kadon "I have caused people to fall down the rabbit hole of the internet." Ioni "I don't know if thats what we call it. But okay." GM "It's where the rabbit goes, isn't it?" Ioni "I stand corrected. And thank you for that visual. Didn't so much as fall down as get shoved along." GM followed by snickering. "Kira is bored and would like to play with the recording devices." GM "Sure. Don't get any evil on you." Kadon "Don't let it spew out and hit you. And if it's a slinky, don't touch it." Ioni "I'm not going to be able to see Paul Ryan ever again without seeing this picture." GM "Which picture? Oh that one." Kadon "Actually now that I'm looking at this picture closer, I'm thinking that the white thing is actually bad photo-shoping. I suspect this thing had a white background and that thing didn't get chopped away proper." GM on the link surfing . "No, that's the stimulator dude." Kadon "I'm aware of what that does, but that white part that comes off it, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to end there in a penis shaped. And doesn't have that weird. Cuz if you look at it, it's geometrically jagged." GM "Okay, as tempting as it is to keep this particular highly amusing line of discussion going. Let's move on to the game. I almost was... but no. So yeah, fixing the boat" Kadon "There, now you can read about a product." Ioni "I am AWARE of what that tab does." GM Mnemia puts in a picture on the google doc. "Oh Menmia, I would totally give you a high five now." Ioni "That is the visual fun of the night sir. And I may asphyxiate." Kadon "Oh.. back on the google doc? Sigh. Well done. I was gonna say the Amazon picture is not that funny." GM "Mental note: never open Amazon profile at work." Kadon after clicking on Ioni's links "I have contaminated your internets!" Ioni "Aww dammit. Dammit Ioni." GM "This is the same basic plot device that I used to get Ioni laid in Redness." Kadon "Consume the Earth in search of Hump-back whales?" Kadon "Hump the Earth in search of consuming whales?" Ioni "So we just punchify everybody. One at a time" Ioni "Are you an agent? Kthunk!" Kadon "I somehow suspect Zuko is suddenly on board with this." GM "I don't think he is cuz there is a will power quotient to this." Ioni "He will be out of willpower for ever more." Kadon "The last thing we need is for him bitching even more." Mnemia "Who says he was gonna spend the will power. He was just gonna smack some bitches." GM "The thing require him to spend will power for him to actively do that." Ioni "He'll get to smack a couple people before one of us goes 'what are you doing'? If its Kadon it's what are you doing, do it right. If it's Mnemia it's what are you doing, can I help." Mnemia "Just be glad I didn't get her to do exactly what it says in the book. Get her to sleep with one of you first." GM "You do know that's not difficult." Ioni "Someone who cares." Kadon "Once you get one of the character pregnant, then anyone you give them as free sex suddenly looks like a trap." GM "Well the only one who is a viable option for that that you don't cause a lot of social issues is Ioni. Ioni is known to randomly fuck people." Ioni "Yeah, but with his female character who was banging a female ghost who was lacking a body to begin with." GM "Having that character get intimate with one of the player characters would have been very intersting. I am upset that you did not do that." Mnemia "I'm mildly upset cuz then I could take Ioni down a very dark and twisted path." Ioni "Uhm wow." GM "I'm on board here, GM. Thank you for not doing that." Kadon "A third character banging Kadon, or Zuko's infidelity and what that does with Scarlet and her interactions with the Lunars, or the horrible threesome things that go along with Mnemia and ZIS. That would have been interesting." Mnemia "Or causing Ioni to become a sociopathic killer." Ioni "I decided to keep her the quiet one for a reason." GM "Yeah, the thing that Ioni just described is precisely the reason why any good that might have come out of doing that would not have been worth it. Just saying." Kadon "It's okay, I just fuck them until they die." Ioni "Sigh.. jesus." Kadon "WOW" GM "Ioni, perhaps you'd like to play a lunar. You could be a spider totem." Kadon "I don't like spiders, they're ugly." Ioni "Or a Mantis. Are you suggesting she eats her dates afterwards. You could go Mantis too. You get a martial arts style for that too." GM "Because as it is, eating them before hand is not quite the same." Kadon "If the definition for eating is different it is." GM "I think that's what he was going for. And you just kind of.." Ioni "Drove over it with a truck. Yeah I know." GM "It's like a poor possum on the road, just kind of.." Ioni *Whimper* Kadon "That was the sound of you running over my dog." "Now I'm extra sad." GM "It's okay, just look at the images on the to do list, it'll make you happy again." Ioni "I haven't looked at the to do lis.... SHEEZ WHAT THE FUCK" GM *Mnemia plays with the google document* There are ten million- million -million -million million million million million particles In the Universe- That we can observe- Your momma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd. *Mnemia starts quoting Creature of Darkness* WHY am I sitting here like a piece of ebony meat-loaf? - Mnemia The nightmare wants our women. - Mnemia [Rachel flashes Eric] Eric: Mm. Now, those are my kind of dunes. - Mnemia "These writers are amazing." Mnemia "You're quoting this? From what? Creature of Darkness. Now I'm intrigued." GM "No, you're getting back to the game, and we're going through this check list!" Ioni "FOCUS!" Kadon "I have a bowl of queso and orange juice in front of me. Lets go." GM "Do you at least have a spoon for the Queso?" Ioni "No, Chips." GM "Because just eating the queso with a spoon would just be sad." Kadon "Silken Sky offers that since it was one of their agents who just tried to murder you, to let them know that happened, perhaps take precautions with the rest of their people." GM "Forgot I left that tab open. Just the look on Paul Ryans face." GM "You like that picture too much. You're analyzing pieces of the dildo. It's still open. It's probably your wall paper by now." Mnemia "He just likes how manly Paul Ryan looks." Ioni "Oh fuck that. The man is an over-sized keebler elf." GM "So really what he has in his hand is about 2 inches long?" Ioni "Potentially. I try not to judge." GM "If you're a dude, and you have seven very hot women who all want to play video games with you all day, what are you going to do? Say no?" GM "At some point, if the video game playing does not turn into sex, then it didn't turn out." Mnemia "More than a couple of times, Venus, on behalf of her and the rest of her sisters, has proposed marriage to the Unconquered Sun, to which he agreed to. It's just that every time..." GM "I think we just covered that he was looking for sex." Kadon "Not marriage." Ioni "Alright, never mind then. Fine. If you want to be crass about it." GM "Now if it was one of the multiplayers, where you pass the controller, 7 people aren't playing the game and during that time there is some fun, then that's fine." Mnemia "A divine orgy that turns out to play the game." Kadon "I have to believe that anyone there not directly related to Venus has to have tapped that. That's just how she rolls. And I have to believe that she has tapped one or two of her sisters." GM "So Doggy Style so they can both play at the same time while they're making out?" Mnemia "Seychelles knows enough to give us a reason, otherwise we'll be belligerent jerks and just come anyway." Mnemia "He's just, I will send more in a moment, just don't come to Nexus quite yet." GM "That's not good." Ioni "He's gotta hide his porn stash. Like what he used to do with the Squirrel Girls in that manse. Gotta clean up after himself." Mnemia "I don't know about the rest of you, but that is exactly the wrong message to send to keep us from going there." Mnemia "They have specifically requested that you stay out of Nexus for the time being." GM "Cuz we don't play well with others." Mnemia "That's good, at least they know us well." Ioni "That's a totally reasonable concern, on the other hand, fate of creation." Kadon "Yeah.." Kadon "By exploding collars?" Mnemia "Oh you acting up? Explode..." Ioni "Slave collars for everyone!" Mnemia "So you're done with your mom. It's a decision between us and a strip club." GM Ioni then translates. Hidden conversation as Zuko admits using a phone to call in for a skype isn't cool. "Well text me when you hit the elevator and I'll pour it for you." Ioni "Are you a fuckin' bar tender now?" Kadon "He's not just gonna suck it out of the bottle?" Mnemia "Unlike Mamasuchi who has had his hands in a large number of Celestials." Kadon "Hands or dick." Ioni "When you're a lunar, it doesn't matter." GM "Parts is parts." Kadon "So bitch be serious old." Kadon "So why is Mnemia naked." Zuko "Because GM didn't want dolphin porn, but he'd settle for Mnemia porn." Ioni "NOooo! Wait no!" GM "If that's considered settling, thats..a step up." Zuko "I think so too, but it's, y'know... GM." Ioni "NO! What's wrong with people!" GM "Okay, we got lots of stuff. Good job of sticking things next to boob squeezers." Zuko "I don't know what you're talking about, all I saw is boob squeezing." GM "You are of Low-breading." GM "At least I found it amusing, and I'm easily amused." GM "You do play with a slinky." Ioni "Well it does keep my hands busy." GM "Not just any slinky, his slinky." Kadon "The squirrels are also getting re-educated. They are no longer trustworthy around the building-shit-area." Zuko "Okay." GM "If I have to re-purpose them into love slaves, so be it." Zuko "You've been wanting to do that regardless." GM "I've been doing that regardless." Zuko "Are Scarlet and ZIS retarded?" Mnemia "Do we have any evidence that he cheated on Silken Sky?" Zuko "No, we have evidence he didn't!" Mnemia "Zuko will be.. fine... List every person you have ever put your penis in." Zuko "Uh you better be a little more general just in case he was a girl at any point." Kadon "Then list everyone who has ever touched your genitals." Zuko "Uhh.... he has touched his genitals. Silken Sky has touched his genitals... Oh fuck." GM "Kadon has... It's okay, he's a doctor. Father O'Malley." Zuko "So these Interns just get put through hell." Ioni "Scout Master Burton." Zuko "Stoppit..." GM "PE teacher, don't forget that.... Oh! Then his football coach." Ioni "Dammit Ioni." GM "At some point he just started asking for it." Kadon "Begging... Oh and then there was that one time in dance class, but that was a woman and he didn't like it as much." Ioni "That slutty Mrs. McAllister on his paper route." Zuko "I know! Oh, his English teacher when he had a failing grade." Ioni "Mnemia's not terribly interested." Mnemia "I have this I don't want to meet anymore demons policy." Kadon "Why would there be spikes coming out of the wall?" Zuko "You know what? I don't know. It's Exalted." Ioni "Also give two of the sexual performers tickets for ZIS cuz I know she'll be dropping by." Ioni "Potentially. Limber up now!" GM "Here's your sticker saying 'I belong to ZIS for an hour.'" Ioni "Start eating lots of food with Iron, you're going to start losing lots of blood. Mnemia, you're girlfriend is a whore." Zuko "Yes she is." Mnemia "She's just in to whores. And on to them, and around them." Kadon "In between them. pretty much every preposition." Zuko "Fuckin' learn about things I'm not supposed to learn about." Kadon "Which things?" Zuko "All of the goddamn demiurge shit." Kadon "Oh, I was like, there's a whole lot of shit we're not supposed to learn about, you might need to be more specific. I mean the sheer volume of shit we know that man was not meant to know..." Zuko "Oh no no no, I'm talking about stuff that's actually hard. ...............Yes, I am in fact talking about my dick." Kadon "About time someone was." Zuko "Too much dolphin porn." Ioni "Why does it always come back to that." GM "Your response is an unto itself." Kadon "It's a response you should all have." GM "What, comes?" Zuko "EW!" Ioni "GM do I have ANY reason to think this is physically possible?" Zuko "Intelligence and occult?" GM "2 dice." Zuko, while everyone else laughs. "Raise your hand if you didn't see that one coming." Kadon "And through what manner are they bound.." Zuko "Maaaaaaaaaaagic." Kadon "How did Virumipra find you." Zuko "Maaaaaaaaaagic." Kadon "Hey Kadon," Zuko "Uh huh." Kadon "I got a question for you." Zuko "Uh huh" Kadon "You know lots of shit." Zuko "Uh huh............... Go for brain box." Kadon "It's not going over well with Nexus, cuz Nexus does not have slaves and does not sell slaves. So either they are all going to have to be let go as free men, or someone is going to have to liquidate...." GM "the assets." Ioni "They can be of use to Nexus in creating a larger Shadowlands with which they can move in and out of the city. So they are debating what is likely a massacre in the area doing what you guys previously stopped. That is their concern. A) Creating a shadowlands in Nexus, won't that create problems later, like when time restarts. There is also the concern that someone who wished us harm is trying to do the same thing, do we really want to do them the favor and help them out with that. Even though there are all these concerns, trade is king. Even if all these lawsuits may happen." GM "But my question about that is if they liquidate those assets, who then gets reimbursement for those assets and is it pro-rated to the point where you're actually making money off of the potential wage earning capability." Ioni "Mnemia doesn't tell Ioni this." Mnemia "BATMAN!" Zuko "That Solar has a pug now. 2 dot familiar, and all it does is scream Batman!" Mnemia "Can we use Plan B on Yuki?" Zuko "That would render all the work we did to get her preggers kinda pointless." Kadon "Better safe than sorry. Give her like a triple dose." Zuko "Plan B Excellency.... Infinite Mastery of Plan B..." Kadon "Immaculate Coat Hangar." Zuko "I'm in another game and I have to make a character yet." GM "You have to make a character for hide the pickle?" Zuko "No." GM

Why is Kadon so wordy!?

Hey All,

The quotes are going a little slow this week.  Mostly cuz I discovered the obscure mixture of work and kickboxing that causes insane lethargy.

In other news, everyone should watch/support the amazing awesome sauce that is Gamers 3: Hands of Fate.  It's produced by a local Seattle group, Zombie Orpheus Entertainment, who also happened to throw a con... why?  Cuz why the hell not!

These guys have made:
Gamers
Gamers II: The Dorkness Rising
Journey Quest 

And other shows easily watched on the youtubes.

-Ioni

_________________________________

"Why is your room mate busy?" GM
"Because he is getting naked and doing his naked dance." Ioni
"Okay, I did not need to have that information." GM

"We were at a con.  You have to do the ritualistic con-detox afterwards." Ioni

"I hung out with the Gamers people.  Got drunk with the Gamers people...  Saw titties with the Gamers people..." Zuko

"And ioni pulls out her dice and I was like, oh this will not end well." Zuko

"Scot C. Brown, the guy who plays Leo is the only one of the group of them to actually go through the full drinking game rules as written.  I asked the guy who plays Gary, and he's like 'Oh gods no!! Scott's the only one who got to do that because he's a raging alcoholic.'  When I told Scott that I only got through the first 20 minutes, he put his hand on my shoulder and said 'then you must train harder.'"  Zuko

"You're incomprehensible." Kadon
"Your mom's incomprehensible." Zuko

"All I had was one glass of something, a shot of something and a sip of something else." GM on 'Going out Drinking'
"You and I have very different definitions of drinking.  And mine is kind of light." Ioni

"I heard tequila, something and 151..." GM
"Alright, that's it!  Fuck Skype!" Zuko

"Last time Zuko made Mercury cry." GM
"And he felt good about it." Ioni
"To be fair, she is a girl." Kadon

"Ioni, cuz she is a hotline straight to the Unconquered Sun.  Mnemia cuz her past incarnation used your own children as manse parts..." GM
"I think at one point Mnemia thinks that's all kids are good for as well." Mnemia
"Considering you have the little creepy children who we really should just kill for manse parts." Ioni

"The difference being Raxin  Hsen didn't have to carry his spare parts for a year." Mnemia

"As for Kadon.. well.." GM
"It's not [Kadon IRL] so much as Kaodn... Errr... Karum.. GOD DAMMIT you're both the same in my head!" Ioni

"Assuming she never gets mad at anyone, and never does something she would regret.  You're right, we are perfectly safe so long as the Incarnae act in a completely rational and proper behavior." Zuko
"To be fair, they pretty much largely have." Kadon
"Until they get addicted to the Game!" Zuko

"And then completely bypassing that question and asking what happened to our friend that's not really there anymore but went off on someplace else." Ioni
"Ok.  Time out... just really quick.  So I take it, I had the conversation with Kadon and Mnemia about this.  While we were gone, did Ioni just get really fucking high or take a lot of blows to the head?" Zuko
"It is Nexus.  I think the last time you left her alone in Nexus she got high and drugged on Bright morning."  GM
"I did?" Ioni
"Yeah, you were seeing things for a while." GM
"Those were perfectly legitimate things!" Ioni

"What ever happened to Aboshi?" Ioni
"Seriously?" Zuko
"Cuz someone told me she is being detained in Malfeas against her will." Ioni
"Who.!" Zuko
"A mutual friend?" Ioni
"Whoooo.!" Zuko
"A powerful mutual friend?" Ioni
"Whoooo...?" Zuko
"Oh he just works at an Embassy, don't worry about it." Ioni
"I see."  Kadon catches on.
"How did you get this information?" Zuko
"It's amazing what happens when you talk to people and go out for a cup of tea!" Ioni
"Right." Zuko
"I stepped away to reheat burritos.  What did she say?" Mnemia cuts in sharply
"I don't know why that was funny, but a mental image of Mnemia rolling back in the room with a fuckin' burrito." Kadon

"No no no no!  See, you set up some whores and that's good.  I don't think you've gotten any into Malfeas yet." Zuko
"No, I didn't." Ioni.
"So where does this info come from?" Zuko

"I'm pretty sure we do, cuz Ioni's not smart enough to know who Virumipra is." Zuko

"One issue on that..." Ioni
"Oh?" Kadon
"She may be with a little royalty. And her party may have wigged out." Ioni

"They may be in a bit of hot water due to companions not behaving like companions anymore." Ioni
"Three more euphemisms and I am punching something.  Just Sayin'!  Mnemia, get the sword out!" Zuko

"Shouldn't be more than a few minutes." Kadon
"What.!?" Zuko
"Recovering them." Kadon
"How...." Zuko
"Magic!" Kadon

"Well the problem with that is if her party member Judy Dench is acting up, maybe she doesn't want that person to come back with her, but that person still needs to be pulled out due to well, royalty having their way with them." Ioni
"Yes...." Kadon
"WHAT?!"  Zuko

"And the queen bitch!" Zuko
"No, wrong royalty." Ioni
"Then which fucking royalty are we talking about!?" Zuko
"Uh slightly lower tier, the spawn of Queen?" Ioni
"Oh lovely." Kadon
"The worst fucking idea ever!" Zuko
"We are talking about Green Princes, right?" Ioni

"GM!  You're fuckin' fired for sending the information through this!  Like, fuck you sir!" Zuko on Ioni
"Yeah, uh, Ioni doesn't get to talk to people alone anymore." Kadon

"Look, I don't want to be the dick here, but you're getting the information from there.  Kind of confused how.  You can't summon anything!" Zuko
"I didn't summon anything?  I just had tea!  Again! you miss the purpose of tea!" Ioni

"It's time for a little Malfeus Interuptus." Kadon
"Yeah, let's fuckin' do it.... Oh Jesus." Zuko

"So what do you do." GM
"Obviously keep away from Zuko so he doesn't hit me." Ioni
"Don't think distance matters." GM
"Well it makes Ioni feel better!" Ioni
"Are you within a mile..." Zuko

"You can't tell if I'm speaking Rat or Squirrel.  The languages are similar!" Zuko

"So J'paffing every single one of you people." Zuko

"Out of curiosity... what do you tell them?" GM
"Sup..." Zuko

"Personally, I'm down with the cover story : Kadon's about to do something incredibly stupid.  So really no matter what happens that should cover us." Zuko
"By us, you mean you, Mnemia and maybe Ioni." GM

"Your room mate really fucked you up and not in a good way." Ioni
"Little barf machines decided 'hey, his stuff doesn't belong ot her, that's perfectly ok to throw up on!!'" GM
"So pets will punish you if you are a dick to them." Mnemia
"I was never a dick.... I only threw something at one of them once.  I was like fuck it!  You can't do anything worse to me than you already are.." GM
"Your just inability to learn is just... mind boggling sir... Believe me, there is just noe end to what cats can do that will ruin your life." Zuko

"So if anything goes wrong, we can blame it on a training exercise." Zuko

"Kadon is a training exercise." Zuko
"Especially for my new employees." Ioni
"Apparently I have been having fun and missing it again!" Kadon
"They haven't been using ribbons to keep track either." Ioni

"Y'know, College Co-eds can be forgetful" Ioni
"Too busy putting themselves through college." Kadon
"So don't be surprised if you start seeing yourself in the next generation." Ioni
"NO!" Zuko

"Last thing we need is a bunch of Kadon half cast running around." Zuko

"Look, one way or another, I am going to see myself in the next generation.  It's just going to take some time." Kadon
"And it may also be your daughter." Ioni
"No.  The great thing about a photographic memory is its easy to keep track of!" Kadon
"What if you never see her." Ioni
"Then... fuck!  I need to invent a charm I think." Kadon
"Unfortunately essence sight doesn't do that for ya!  It's not Maury Pauvich sight!" Zuko

"Infallible not fuck my daughters." Kadon
"Incest mendicant spirit."  Zuko

"So Zuko and Kadon come up with goofy names for charms that could avoid incest....  GM goes 'better ways around it!' "Zuko
"It's my job!" GM
"How can I allow for daddy banging!" Zuko

Panty blossom the room!!!

"I thought about the game all week!" GM
"Yes, you spent the whole week thinking of how to kill us with your penis." Ioni
"Such a perfect response to that." Mnemia
"Ioni, sweetie...  you don't need to take out penis hatred on the rest of us." Zuko

After Ioni links the previous weeks quote of the GM killing the group with a phallus.
"Oh, okay.  I just always assumed GMs penis was phallic shaped." Zuko
"Y'know there is another quote that says you're pretty aware of what GMs penis looks like." Mnemia
"Hence my point - look, you guys expect me to remember shit from a week ago.  That's just not fair." Zuko

"My bad, I thought Ioni said she was going to cut back on fantasizing about Kadon" Zuko
"Uh, that's gonna be hard to do." Ioni
Long silence
"Okay, I got my pants off now." Kadon
"Information the rest of us did not need." GM
"And yet you wanted it." Zuko

"My boobs are offended." Ioni
"Why?" Zuko
"By what?" Kadon
"I don't know."  Ioni
"oh nah, I'm just going to walk away form this.  this is going no where good... unless it is." Kadon

"Boobs don't expire Ioni.  Actually that's wrong." Kadon
"I thought I had shared pictures of where they had" Ioni
"I realized and I recant my previous statement.  All the more reason to share them now." Kadon
"Yeah, no!  Not gonna happen!" Ioni

On Cloud Atlas
"Is this gonna be a movie with a lot of stupid people going 'I just couldn't follow it!'" Zuko
"Yes" Kadon
"Sonovabitch." Zuko

"Looks like we can start turning out the industrial powered dildo." Zuko
"Dude, I thought we weren't going to talk about that." Ioni
"I've got a system to try and run it on solar power, but it's not working directly.  Also, Seattle solar power sucks!" Zuko
"I'd say you're better off trying to capture the rain for power." GM
"Shut up Captain L.A." Zuko
"Dude, I will fucking trade you!" GM

"Is GM suggesting that we use the torture device machine from the Princess Bride to power a sex thing.. toy... machine...  English words go here!" Ioni
Zuko interprets - "Ioni wants to know if you wanted to use The Machine from Princess Bride as a sex toy."
"More like the machine from Eurotrip, it sounds like." Kadon
"I have not seen that movie." GM

"I'm playing the Bad Piggy's game.  It's the sequel to Angry Birds, and wow.... their animations are terrible, the should feel bad." Zuko
"Your animation is bad, you should feel bad?" Ioni

"If you look at that and think, 'Oh wait!  Here's this giant plot thread I have been running for two years that these guys know nothing about'... you should probably mention that." Mnemia
"Yes please!" Ioni
"You say that as if you don't trust me!" GM
"Pre.... cisely.  We still love you though!" Ioni
"Should we?" Zuko
"It's not about trust, it's about this game turning into Cloud Atlas times seven.  I appreciate your restraint of the time traveling device.  That really would have sucked balls." Mnemia

"We need our Wiki Page on perforce.  I'm checking this out.  No one can touch it!" Mnemia

"Perfects?  Back in my day we had to roll it!" GM
"Do you want me to call you an old geezer?" Ioni

"Okay, last game, you had just penny blossomed the room." GM
"Peony.   like the flower." Kadon
"Not penny" Ioni
"Whatever." GM
"Elbow." Zuko
"Dead." Mnemia
"So yeah, like I said you panty blossomed the room, every thing is dead." GM
"Panty blossomed the room?" Kadon
"Actually that might be a good name for a charm!" GM
"Possibly for my game instead." Kadon

"I kept thinking about your alchemical testing ground." GM still on Panty Blossom
"Mnemia, are your giant transformers fucking or rather docking in space?" Zuko
"The worlds first fan/fic between battleships." GM
"UNIVERSE!" Kadon
"Gonna fire my torpedos!" GM
"Actually innuendo is so hard to come by in that game." Mnemia
"Mnemia is so happy in that game." Zuko

"You're Mega Maid?" Zuko
"No, not that tall.  I'd need to be essence 7 to be Mega Maid." Mnemia

"There's a series of transformers where you're eventually watching Evangelion?  what?!"  GM

"Am I the one who is gonna have to go hug this guy?"  Ioni
"If you were capable of grappling him, maybe." Zuko
"I can't grapple, but I can hug!" Ioni
"All he needs is a hug!" GM
"You know what?  The world would be less psychotic if everyone gave each other a hug and then stole each others wallets."  Ioni
"I tried but you got mad at me for grabbing your ass." Kadon
"You then went for the boobs right after." Ioni
"They were at head level... what?" Kadon
"No." Ioni
"SIGH" GM
"GWLMGMGLLHWW" Kadon imitating motor boating.

"It's been 4 seconds!" Kadon
"Yeah, I learn a lot when punching things!" Zuko

"Ioni can get hit by non-essence damage." Ioni
"Fine, we'll make you artefacts this week if you want." Zuko
"I like being the non-threatening one." Zuko

"Ok, Kadon..." GM
"Yes?" Kadon
"Some jerkface just took away my turn so that leaves..." GM
"Oh, my turn?  I forgot we were in  battle!" Kadon

"Mnemia... can you give me a lift?" Ioni
"I guess" Mnemia
"Clench up Legolas." Zuko
"That's my line!" Kadon

"He's a hundred and four yards away.  You can just BOOM!" Zuko on sniping.
"How much damage can Gavin take?" Ioni
"Woah woah woah." GM
"MY JOB!  MY JOB!" And it's not hurting Gaving.  It's punching him in the face?" Zuko

"Who shoots Gavin with an arrow?  C'mon!" Zuko

"I'm apparently making [NPC] like [Zuko] a lot so he will stop fighting you and take it up the ass for you." Ioni
"Wow... Weaponized Date Rape drug." GM
"Kadon gave it to me." Ioni
"Don't make this my fault!" Kadon

"I wonder if I could use lambent bolt of annihilation with this, Kadon." Ioni
"I'm not sure your care bear stare needs to be AOE" Kadon
"The next thing the two armies realize they were fucking on the battlefield."  GM
"Don't ask, don't tell." Kadon

"And what am I resisting again?" GM
"PEACE AND LOVE!" Ioni
"Thats...  awesome" GM deadpan.

"One moment, I hear screaming.  I'm mildly concerned."  GM
"She discovered that she is in your basement." Ioni
"Yep, she found the way out of the basement." Zuko
"Yeah, if I had a basement that might mean something." GM
"Cuz clearly that's what's wrong with that line of thinking." Kadon

"...and hits everyone whom she wants dead.  Which is most of these invisible bitches.  All of these invisible bitches." Mnemia
"Mnemia, I'm sorry.  You lost all bad ass points when you got to 'which is most of these invisible bitches.'"  Zuko

"See if Ioni did her job and got the bad mojo out of this dice roller." Mnemia

"I'm just going to position it to you this way, Kadon.  Ioni can still go ahead and learn to summon demons.  Which of the two of you do you want controlling our demon horde?"  Zuko
"What I want as a player, does not alter what Kadon would do in this case." Kadon

"Technically, none of my bits have to touch him to attack him."  Zuko
"Less ripping." Kadon
"More gripping?" Ioni
"Okay, I light some candles, some Barry White music..." Zuko
"Some Kenny G." GM
"And say come to Zuko" Zuko

"He seems incredibly emancipated under there because of the shape of the body is something you expect to see in Abercrombie and Fitch." GM
"Emaciated, GM.  Emancipated means freed." Zuko

"Every time we take our eyes off of a kid, they do something stupid." Mnemia
"That's kind of why Zuko is at the point where we should murder all children." Zuko

"Zuko will say.. Dude.. he'll look at Gavin, look at the thing... look at Gavin, look at the thing... you gotta stop bein' such a bitch!" Zuko
"I beg your fuckin' problem!" GM
"I'm sorry, which one of us came down kicked his ass while you just flailed around then beat his ass?  Oh right, me.  We need to toughen you up.  That's why I punched you in the face.  Gotta make you a man!" Zuko

"Thats because he knows when someone with a bigger dick shows up" Zuko
"You know what works better than dodging us?  Talking to us." Mnemia
"Exactly." Kadon

"Guy goes to hell, punch him in the face." GM
"Guy whines about going to hell, punch him in the face" Mnemia
"Guy tries to sleep with Mnemia's kids, punch him in the face." Zuko
"Okay, no he didn't.  You need to stop." GM
"Future version of him and crazy fucked up shit to us via time whammy jammy and leaving little notes being smarter than you bull shit, punch him in the fucking face." Zuko
"I haven't done that!" GM

"I have long since stated that if I come across future selves that are trying to project us, first thing I am going to do is punch future me in the face." Zuko
"You know future you knows its coming so he's never gonna show up." Ioni
"Well he's gonna step behind future Kadon that's for damn sure." Zuko

"Are you telling the truth?" GM
"Yes" Zuko
"Gavin will nod and say okay." GM
"Have you seen future me?" Zuko
"I'm not punching him in the face!" GM
"Best way to avoid my question..." Zuko
"No.." GM
"I'm watching you!" Zuko

"Gavin, it's only mostly personal." Zuko

"You (Gavin) did try to mack on Mnemia's kids." Zuko
"I'm not sure that's true by the way, I'm pretty sure we did make that up because it was funny." Kadon
"No." Zuko
"I'm pretty sure Mnemia's kids were macking on him and he wasn't reciprocating." GM
"That's lesson number one, man." Mnemia

"Is this what pain is?" GM as Goth Ophelia
"Yes, suck it up." Ioni
"It's kind of awesome." GM
"Wait, back it up.. what?"  Ioni
"It's not like I'm going to start seeking it out!" GM
"Well if you do start seeking it out, make sure you go to someone you trust, like Mnemia or Zis."  Ioni
"Let's go through the number of people in this party should ever go to for Morals... How about NONE!" Zuko

"I'm sorry, after you've seen a man hump a lamp post, it's really hard not to be concerned." Zuko

"and... I've only slept with the fleshy ones that are human shaped and normal looking.  I have not had sex with a mail box, a lamp post, a warstrider sized woman....  Not even sure how that would happen without drowning." GM

"Hey dear, can you be under-aged twins for me tonight?" Mnemia
"There's nothing creepy about it, it's just y'know." Zuko
"No!  I am never going to have sex with Mnemia's kids." GM
"Fine, they are not good enough for you." Zuko

"Fuck you Captain Bullshit Charms!" Zuko
"YOU CAN GET THEM TOO!" Kadon