Please can we give her one more year?

"I wouldn't call it much of a fire... just a lighting of a can on fire.." Rahul
"That's a fire." Gleep


"Is your apartment clean?" GM
"Crusty, maybe." Kii

"I offer to give her a copy." Rahul on supergirls sex tape
"A copy!?" GM
"It's a work of art! I don't want it destroyed." Rahul
"Run with it Rahul, I think you're on your way to a pickup line." Kii

"How old is Super Girl, is this staturoty." GM

"And pray tell, if I'm not having sex with you, what I am I doing in this dank little apartment?" GM
"Watching you have sex with yourself?" Gleep

"So what you're saying is this is a porn plot, not a hentai plot." Kii

"So we can have quotes again, can we up Super Girls age by one?" Rahul

"Unless GM says, dear god don't do this. That seems like the best rational response to do." Richie

"We got away with the Rapy monkey lyrics, but this is clearly beyond the pale." Kii

"We'll talk in code, like we'll meet up in that place where we got tacos that one time." Richie
"we never got tacos..." Gleep
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Richie
"How did we get it this far..."Rahul
"You're a session and a half in and you're already asking how did you get this far.." GM

"there's an old busted down theater that I know of.  No one's been there for quite a while." Richie
"Pretty sure you're gay." Kii

"Kii, I appreciate it, but it's taken us four hours to get here.  We need to get on the fuckin' boat." Richie

"Any of you play pipe organ? Learn songs of phantom of the opera!" Kii
"Yeah, and I'm the gay one!" Richie


"Maybe go to Canada.." Kii
"Captain Canuk?" Rahul
"Wolverine."  Kii
"Fuck -"Rahul

"I got it, we take the couch cushion and me unclothed in a Hardon collider..." Rahul

And we're back, with super heros

"Spider man doesn't want wheat bread to go in the toaster, because he thinks it makes his toast wheaty."  GM


Click
"Dude, Gleep... what the fuuuuck?"  Ken Kii

"What is the porridge to not porridge ratio?" Gleep
"I'm not sure what you mean by porridge."  GM
"How much cellulite does she have." Richie

"Critical fail and she's a guy." Rahul
"Well, she missed it by one." GM


"There is a layer of film left over on the copy machine." GM
"She was moist!" Gleep

"Fish don't give handjobs."  Gleep
"This one does!" Rahul

"Nooo, the pervert is Batman.  He is the ultimate perveyor."  GM

"Are you kidding?  He probably peeks through WHY ARENT YOU POOPING!?" Richie

"You know in the comics, Batman doesn't kill.  That's what makes him a vigilante of justice.  But you know in real life - Accidents happen...?"  GM

"Over in the cubicle, you see two ears and the eyes, and he says "I'm Batman!"" GM

"There is chaos in that corner there..." GM
"How does any crime get stopped!?" Richie

"I was not expecting this..." GM
"NO BODY EXPECTS GLEEP!  How many times have I explained this to you now.  This chick is loco!" Richie

"The same - dewivewy.  I'm not sure how I feel about this accent."  Ken Kii
"You should feel bad about the accent." Richie


"The skills of a ninja are all about filling holes." GM

"I'm just sayin' Supah Guhl coochie so tight, rip de cock off." Ken Kii

"Fucking clit o' steel." Ken Kii

"When was the last time you masturbated.  At Tchotchkies?" Richie
"And did you drink a white russian." Gleep
"WHY GLEEP WHY?!  Why would... y'know what, I don't wanna know." Rahul
"Thick and creamy!  You might want to get your doctor to look at that." Gleep
"Brown guy jizz brown!" Ken Kii

"so you're exiting the car.." GM
"ARE WE IN THE BOAT!" Richie


"Alright Rahul is out of the car, he rubbed one out, let's go!" Richie

"The only reason you're not masturbating right now is that you're afraid to leave DNA evidence behind." GM

"You could be looking at dirt porn." GM
"And this dirt is interacting with this dirt. It's interdirtracial porn." Gleep
"It's dirt on clay porn." GM


http://i.imgur.com/alVGPsv.gif
"What is that on top of that guy's car?  A wind? a sail?" Rahul

"Can we use our XP on powers yet?" Rahul
"No, you haven't done anything dumb enough for powers yet." GM

FIGHT THE MINIONS FIRST!

"... and the last troll says Intruderssss Consssume them!" GM


"So Thava kicks the door in says LEROY!!! and Birdman runs in screaming JEEEENKIIINS!" Havoc (Furpile)

"Apparently Sweden really likes the blog." Thava
"Sweden as in the country?" Stasi
"... no..." Thava
"Aww..." Stasi
"No, as in the ethereal state of mind." GM

"Fuck you, fight the trolls for a turn or two." GM
"I don't wanna!" Birdman

"I want to sit in the throne." Thava
"Someone needs to play tomb of horrors." Havoc
"I'm gonna sit in the throne." Thava
"You can sit in the throne." GM

"Before Thava does sit in the throne and kills us..." Havoc

"Oh good, we just found Skalmads gimp." Stasi
"Jealous?" Thava

"I was wondering when you'd think about that.  But I didn't say anything cuz, FUCK YOU!" GM

"We cleared the room, you can go now." Havoc
"Dude.." Stasi
"What do you plan to do now?" GM as NPC
"Kill you if you ask anymore questions." Thava
"DUDE!" Stasi
"He tries to run from Thava, but you haven't unlocked him yet and gets to the end and he gets jerked back and falls on his butt whimpering." GM


We went to the Fae world.... This is what we found.

And we're on to D&D

Long hiatus due to moving and just being busy.

"That is some brilliant meta gaming sir." GM

"She's going to swing at you." GM
"No she's dominated!  She's going to drop her shorts and take it up the cooch." Furpile Dominatrix
"That's more disturbing than the site Thava gave us." Stasi
"No, I'm pretty sure a baby jesus going up your butt is worse." Furpile Dominatrix.

"With some actual prep time I could do a lot more." Birdman
"Dude, a plane ride is all you need.  Don't know what you're talking about." GM

"Quarrk carries cat bells because he's worried about cats." Birdman
"I assumed that's what you made Stasi wear." GM
"What?" Stasi
"Nyaah!" GM

"Fuck, I want top kill something in this campaign." Stasi
"You shouldn't have played a defender." Furpile Dominatrix

"C'mon, where did you go?" Stasi
"Up your butt." Thava
"Ohh...." Birdman
"Cuz that's where gay people put stuff?" GM
"Does anyone else realize Thava wanted to just say that all along?" Furpile Dominatrix

"Start kicking the thief in the butt until he chooses a direction.  Like pushing a cat across the carpet." Furpile Dominatrix.

"These are innocent townspeople who have been turned.. they must be saved." GM

"Furpile just let me have it.  I took 2 attacks of opportunity for it... SHUT UP FURPILE!" GM


"You're in the middle of a room" GM
"Why is he in the middle of the room." Thava
"Cuz he's stupid.  Sneaky and Stupid" GM
"Those are not necessarily mutually exclusive." Stasi
"You're not helping, shut up!" Birdman
"Glowing coin... middle of the room..." GM


"I'd argue with him but I don't want the giant dildo -1 to attack think with tentacles to attack me." Stasi
"Jealous?" Thava
"No, I don't have that many crags HOLYSHIT!" Stasi

"Hang on, I have a thought." Stasi
"Oh....." Furpile

"God, that would have been so amazing!  I'm helping!" GM when the npcs start chain exploding
"FUCK YOU!" Stasi


"So, I can drop rocks from the sky..." Furpile talking about a new game
"So we have a new goal.  Make our characters so egregious Furpile has to kill us each week." GM

End of the Second City... But we never visited the Second City.

"Everyone at work loved the audio clip." Danzomaru
"Screw you, you bastards." Hachiro

"I thought we were working on 1/4 of creation is going explode." GM
"No, 1/4 of creation is going to be impregnated.  Half is going to blow up." Danzomaru
"Who is doing the impregnation?" GM
"Mnemia" Danzomaru
"It's time to switch the tables on that one." Kazuko
"Immaculate Dawn You Not Me Rape technique." Danzomaru
"Tired of being on the receiving end of that process." Kazuko
"You don't like morning sickness?" GM
"No. Mnemia was not a fan." Kazuko
"But it was great for your figure." GM
"I'm..." Kazuko
"I'm assuming Mnemia is not hourglass shaped.  I'm assuming Mnemia is Amazonian kill your ass shaped." Hachiro
"In my mind, Mnemia has always been built like a brick shit house.  Mnemia might demand Snu Snu." Danzomaru

"Y'know for all the flailing we've done in this campaign, we seem to have done our flailing rather efficiently." Kazuko

"If you don't want to be represented by a giant penis." Kazuko
"Dong - sama." Danzomaru

"Oh yeah, I concur with the fuck statement." Kazuko

"We ready to do this?" Sanbi
"Not sure, you ready?" GM
"No, we need another two hours." Kazuko
"Lets do this." Danzomaru
"Not sure what we're doing, can someone explain?" Hachiro
"Oh goddamn you, Hachiro." GM
"We're all going to die." Danzomaru
"We're attempting to initiate surprise butt sex." Kazuko

"What's your earth ring now?" Sanbi
"Four." Danzomaru
"Same as mine." Sanbi
"Okay fine, lets have you get your ass kicked.  I'll take a swing at Sanbi here." Danzomaru

Ssssssssspank it.

"Yes, but where are you located..... California!" GM
"The proper answer to that is 'The Fourth Circle of Hell.'" Kazuko

"No, it's a plot hole, Hachiro.  It's a giant gaping ass of a plot hole." Kazuko
"It's Goatse-esque of a plot hole.' Sanbi

"It's an honorable quest for a samurai." GM
"Yea, we're in the neighborhood." Hachiro
"Not in particular!  Not a dishonorable quest, but not like its going to be amazing for us to do it.  It's a nice thing to do.  She also murdered a samurai so fuck this bitch." Danzomaru

"Alright, I have to ssssssspank it yet, damn." Hachiro
"Uhhhh-" Sanbi
"What?!" Danzomaru
"Bank. It.  Cuz I only have-" Hachiro
"That is not what you said! Just correct me if I'm wrong.  Anyone else?" Danzomaru
"You are not wrong." Sanbi
"You are not wrong." Kazuko
"God I hope GM has that recording.  I vote... we get that audio clip separated and god that's going to be fun." Danzomaru
"Good to have plans for the evening." Sanbi
"Oh Hachiro, I am sorry.  There are times I feel bad, but then you just make it so easy!" Danzomaru
"What did I miss?" GM
"Hachiro informed us that he didn't have enough XP, so he was going to have to spank it." Danzomaru

".. True.... I'm expecting a massive blood bath to compensate for it." GM
"Well put some pussy ronin in front of us!" Danzomaru
"You could have left out the ronin." Sanbi
"Well, you do have the weasels if you want just that." GM

"AFK while I do laundry" Hachiro
[...]
"Thought you were going to spank it later." Danzomaru
"Maybe he just wants to get a full load in..  Anyway.." GM
"God, GM." Sanbi

"I don't think Kazuko has ever fought a tiger before." Kazuko
"I thought that was traditional monk training.  Go to the mountains, fight a tiger with your bare hands..." Sanbi
"We say that, because it makes us seem more bad ass.  But it's actually a big pit of kittens and we just roll around in it." Kazuko
"Poor kittens." Sanbi

"I'd like to point out the Monk kicked it with his foot, I actually have a tool." Hachiro
"Do you have tool envy?" Kazuko
"Lets just say mine's bigger." Hachiro
"Considering my character, god I hope so." Kazuko

"God dude, how do you fuckin' attack... Fuck you Kazuko." Danzomaru looking at the rolls

Rakshasasasasasaaaaaaaa - query the quarry

"Jumanji?" Danzomaru
"Sumajii" GM
"When we get there, there's going to be a board game." Hachiro
"He does have a pair of dice if you'd like to roll them." GM
"uhhhh." Sanbi

"So they are basically bad news, not just from our Xenophobic view points?" Hachiro
"Fuckin'.... he killed like seven Samurai.  That's pretty objectively bad." Danzomaru
"I'm just making sure that they are all like that, not just this one guy." Hachiro
"You need to learn how racism works, dude." Danzomaru

"44!" Danzomaru
"So the Crab can read everything." GM
"Hold up, I'm the only one who has calligraphy?" Danzomaru

"The writer is female." GM
"So there's hearts in the kanji?" Danzomaru
"Yes." GM

"Question GM." Danzomaru
"Yeah..." GM
"Is this the kind of thing that you're probably going to have to commit seppuku over?" Danzomaru
"So, Hachiro killed another one." GM
"C'MON!" Hachiro
"It's quite possible that Hachiro has the highest kill count." Sanbi

"Getting as much information out of her about our query is best." Hachiro
"Okay, Hachiro... Quarry..... Quarry." Danzomaru
"Isn't quarry where you get rocks?" Hachiro
"Yes, its the same thing as form what you are chasing.  Query is a question. Or a really homosexual e." Danzomaru

The God of Intoxication will hold you to your vows.

"What's new with y'all." Sanbi
"HOUSEHUNTING!  Where's Evan?" GM
"Not my day to watch him." Sanbi
"But its the weekend, you're supposed to watch him on the weekends for me, Sanbi." GM
"I was not made aware of this arrangement -" Sanbi
"You agreed to it when you were a keg." GM

"Sometimes I hate social media." Sanbi
"Why?" GM
"So my brother in law made a post about my niece using the toilet and it has sixteen likes." Sanbi
"Is it her first time using the toilet?" Hachiro
"Apparently [..]  It's not unexpected or surprising, it just makes me hate social media." Sanbi

"You didn't have a lot of geek cred to begin with, Hachiro, but it's all lost now." Kazuko
"What?  Over Monaco?" Hachiro
"Monaco has been in discussion in the gaming community for over two years now." Kazuko

"I was sorting through my downloads and I came across that fucking picture Sanbi did.  I was a little annoyed it was still on my hard drive."  Hachiro
"Thank you for reminding me." GM
"We will not speak of it."  Danzomaru
"A little passive aggressive there, Hachiro.  That was nice, well played." Kazuko

"I applaud you for your tenacity."GM
"I don't know as the GM you want to encourage that behavior." Kazuko
"It's Danzomaru.  If I discourage it it basically acts as encouragement.  If I do nothing about it, it acts as encouragement. If I encourage him, it acts as encouragement.  There is no way I can possibly do anything that I won't regret." GM
"I'm like a constant sense of 'god dammit.'" Danzomaru
"What would you do, Kazuko?"  GM
"There are steering mechanisms..." Danzomaru
"Yeah.  I'm not going to give away trade secrets just yet." Kazuko
"Really the only one that Kazuko came up with at work, was the StormBlades." Danzomaru
"StormBlades are awesome." Kazuko

"Fuckin' StormBlades." Danzomaru
"Group of NPCs that did some kill stealing in a level one adventure, and got the PCs to hunt them to the ends of the Earth for like 15 levels."  Kazuko
"Literally all we cared about were where those fuckers went.  Spreading disinformation about their leader being riddled with syphilis, and a total whore." Danzomaru
"Well she was." Sanbi
"Not so much - " Kazuko
"Just going down to town and also that led to our invention of a different name of our merry band everywhere we went because we had to make it seem like different groups knew this information."  Danzomaru
"Well it sounds like they had more to be pissed off at you than -" Hachiro
"Oh no, totally! Uhh so, we were the Beast Helm Brigade... The Mighty Three, though there were six of us.  And then I forget some of the other fucked up names that we came up with were."  Danzomaru
"I don't recall either. It was a campaign of... The character destruction campaign was pretty significant."  Kazuko
"As I recall we invested capital in ruining them.  To the point, as I recall, as a side mission for funsies before Sanbi took over, Kazuko had the king summon us in order to fight it out with their group because he got sick and tired of dealing with the bullshit." Danzomaru
"All these guys did was steal your kills?" Hachiro
"That was the best part.  In the first combat.  It was the Scales of War Campaign or whatever.  And it starts out that you're in a city, it's on fire and there are a bunch of orcs and fighters.  And we fought, and there were like three of us, all defenders because we were smart.  And we were getting our asses kicked but we managed to survive.  And we were fighting the final boss, doing pretty well when this group of four mercenaries comes in, Kill Steals, takes all the credit and is heralded as heroes.  And we were like 'oh fuck no, this is not how this is starting out.'  So, Sanbi joined up a little after that and we explained it to him, 'No, the Storm Blades are assholes. We hate them, they all have syphilis.'  Because the leader, whatever the fuck her name is, sleeps with all of them and gives them her hell herpes." Danzomaru
"Wow...." Hachiro
"Then they made Dio go down into a shitter, to look for treasure and he almost drowned." Danzomaru
"This should be turned into a web comic." Hachiro
"Hehehe... This was after the Squirrel Incident." Sanbi
"Wait, Squirrel Incident?" GM
"Right, I forgot!" Kazuko
"All I'm saying is should come to the game on time." Sanbi
"I'm pretty sure kicking Dio down the shitter happened in the first dungeon." Kazuko
"Oh yeah - " Sanbi
"The Squirrel Incident was in a later dungeon." Kazuko

"The first dungeon was where they threw you the glowing coin while you were stealthing." Kazuko
"Right!" Sanbi
"That was the Mushroom Dungeon." Danzomaru

"Was the third dungeon the one we rolled through as one encounter because we didn't want to get rid of the flaming sphere?" Danzomaru
"I believe that was.. It was either the third one of the second half of the second one." Sanbi
"That was the one also with Intrudersssss Conssssssume Them!" Danzomaru
"No that was back in the first one again." Kazuko
"That was in the third to the last room of the first one." Sanbi
"The first one also had the Scrying Pools of Urine." Kazuko
"The Vecna - "
"What the fuck." Hachiro
"The room full of Vecna's was the first dungeon as well." Kazuko
"There's twelve Vecna's!!" Danzomaru
"There were three! Quiet you!  I may have no Religion training, but I can still count." Sanbi

"By Squirrel Incident we mean, he has a squirrel... A Dead Squirrel he had fucked to death under his Wizard Hat.  That he took with him." Sanbi
"This was something he came up with? Or you came up with?-" Hachiro
"No no - " Danzomaru
"As we said, you should come to the game on time.  He didn't come to the game on time." Sanbi
"He didn't come to the game on time.  He was accused of staying at the back of the party and not participating and fucking a squirrel to death.  He didn't respond.  When he showed up and we told him he fucked a squirrel to death, his response was to mount it in his hat."  Kazuko
"Wait, fuck it in his hat or just mount it on his hat..-" GM
"No, once it was dead, he went all Taxedermy on it and shit and mounted it on his - " Kazuko
"Yeah it's frozen in a state of horror, shame and disappointment." Danzomaru
"Wow... that's.... yeah-" Hachiro
"Like I keep saying, don't show up late to the Sunday Games too much." Danzomaru

"I think he thought he was going along with it and it would stop us from making fun of him about it. He was wrong.  No body stops this group of assholes."  Danzomaru

"Kick him in the nuts as hard as you can and ask him to answer the question again." Kazuko

"VISIONS!" GM
"Actually in this case she is upset she can't get into the cupboard."  Kazuko
"Is that where the food is?" Danzomaru
"It's where the pans are." Kazuko
"And why would she want the pans?" GM
"Fuck if I know." Kazuko
"Do not question the will of the cat." Hachiro
"Glad you're here to explain cats to us, Hachiro." Danzomaru

"Sorry, Hachiro, but your one year with cats is not enough to throw down street cred with cats.  I'm pretty sure your one year is one twentieth the amount of time I've spent with cats."  Danzomaru
"It doesn't mean I don't have some knowledge." Hachiro
"It's like you got to second base once...." Danzomaru

"Is the Shugenja asleep through all of this?" Hachiro
"Yep, with a ferret in each ear." GM
"My foot wakes him up!" Hachiro

"A Crab tells you to go fuck yourself before a battle, it's like saying hello." Kazuko

"What did he do to his computer?" GM
"The Data Kami are angry with him." Sanbi
"He obviously needs to do a blood sacrifice.  No more spunk sacrifice." GM
"Oh god..." Sanbi

"Question, even if you know where to go to find her directly, what will you do when you meet the shugenja of such power directly?" Hachiro
"Kill it." Danzomaru and GM
"Uhh, probably the wise thing to do, is find out where she is, get embroiled in side plots, go to the Second City, get all the ass kickers we can find, and then...  go pay her a fuckin' visit."  Sanbi
"Kill it." Danzomaru

"I just want to point out for the record that it was Hachiro talking to people that did this." Danzomaru
"Fuck you too, sir." Hachiro

"A journal that reads 'Secrets of the Secret Cult that we shouldn't tell the Samurai about'?" Sanbi

"We need to invoke the 'Not Idiot Clause' more often."  Kazuko

"Sanbi, you're an expert, find us a Hoochi." Danzomaru
"That is not a phrase I have heard often in my life." Sanbi
"'You're the expert'?" Danzomaru

"If he had seen and like those and he had never seen Aliens or fuckin' Star Trek-" Danzomaru
"Then he's been denied good..-" Hachiro
"No, no..  He's not allowed to use his penis anymore." Danzomaru
"He's seen Star Trek." GM
"I am without words.  Danzomaru's regulation of your cock use is -" Sanbi
"Justified!" Danzomaru
"... There are numerous adjectives really.  I just don't know where to start." Sanbi

"I have neither watched nor read Twilight.  Of course I have seen Aliens.  I was making my stunned 'how could you think I haven't seen Aliens' face." Sanbi
"Here's the thing about Skype, buddy - " Danzomaru
"We can't see your face!" GM
"You can't see all the times I moon you guys during a game." Danzomaru
"That's why he keeps his door closed." GM
"That and the rampant masturbation." Danzomaru
"Yeah, that's not always the toilet flushing in his room." GM
"Uhh." Sanbi
"What the fuck else do I have that would make that noise!?  Like are you saying I have my own personal spunk toilet sitting next to my computer?!  I mean, what the fuck!  As I climax ... wkshhhhhhh" Danzomaru

"I assume Kazuko made it angry in the first place." Hachiro
"What did I do?!" Kazuko
"You made fun of the gerbil!" Hachiro
"Your gerbil was being a dick.  You make that gerbil respect your authoritah.  Start hitting the side of your computer with a stick, that will fix it." Kazuko
"If I remember the news report correctly from the other day, you should wrap it in duct tape so that the eyes don't bug out as much. Or something like that." Sanbi
"What news report did you watch!?" Hachiro

[Five minutes spent on who is dressed nicer..]
"FUCKING HELL JUST ROLL A DIE ALREADY!  Did we really just spend five minutes discussion who was better dressed?" Danzomaru
"Yep." Sanbi

"The gerbil is rolling around in the ash again, go get it!" Kazuko

"Basically pull the we are the batman, don't come near us.  Tell your friends about us." Hachiro

"Danzomaru walks through the bazaar with a head on a pike."  GM
"Given that I'm the only one with a pike.." Sanbi
"Oh I'll just borrow it for a while." Danzomaru
"And the foxes lick the pike clean after." GM
"So much innuendo." Hachiro

"I'm not saying that, cuz it'd be like 'so fuck your mother, by the way....'" Danzomaru

"Spot check smell!" GM
"No thank you!  They eat a lot of curry don't they." Danzomaru

"It is easy to find a place.  Super easy.  There are whores outside specifically for Mantis." GM
"Hooray whores!" Danzomaru
"For Mantis?" Hachiro
"Well the whores for crab have to really sturdy..." GM
"Lets just say they all have their sea legs." Sanbi

"There have been a few times in this session where I feel like we're not the good guys."  Hachiro
"Not the good guys like us? Or not the good guys in character? Cuz we as players are not the good guys.  We don't do good guys well." Kazuko

"You keep saying all these words, but all I hear is 'la la la la la... I want somebody to hit me with an axe.'" Danzomaru

Pulling a Sanbi..,. hook your computer up to your TV and RPG from the couch.

"Maybe he's finally hooked up with that one girl." GM
"Now I'm scared." Danzo
"Why would you be scared of that." GM

"So his blissful betrothed is ..." GM
"You can make her a choptstick vendor." Danzo
"Her family is best known for harvesting the wood, a particular wood that is best known for chopsticks." Sanbi
"And that means Hachiro can strive to give her wood." Danzo

"I'm going to put this up to a vote, how much wine should I give the GM?" Danzo

"Why did you steal the dudes ferrets?"  Kazuko
"That's just asking for trouble."  Danzo
"The foxes are going to be pissed.  They'll be in your pants....  There is just no good that can come of this." Kazuko

"I'd sleep with him." Danzo on Tom Cruise
"Would you be big spoon or little spoon?" GM
"Whichever." Danzo

"Now we have Edward Elric for Fullmetal Alchemist if we ever do a live action of it." Hachiro

Alphonse - Jack Black
Edward Elric - Tom Cruise
Armstrong - The Rock/Arnold Schwarzeneggar
Hughes - Ryan Reynolds
Mustang - Val Kilmer

"There were others like the first Hantei Emperor...." GM
"Did you just say the first Hentai Emperor?" Sanbi
"How do you think he convinced everyone to work for him." Danzo
"I'm pretty sure his nick name was Overfiend." Kazuko

"Let me ask you this, which one of you three assholes asked for the meeting?" Hachiro
"I did." Kazuko
"Okay." Hachiro
"I've been talking in your place and we've gone through three conversations in thirty minutes." Kazuko
"Also, no body dishonored themselves." Danzo

"You need to prepare 'rape their eye sockets with something' spell."  Danzo
"I don't think that's a rank one spell." Sanbi
"Peri-dokken.  If they are supposed to be females, why are there tiny ferret penises in my eyeballs" Danzo

"Weird, I keep getting disconnected from the server, but I have no trouble getting back on." Sanbi
"Not her exact words." Danzo

"Help a Crab and fuck a Crane." Danzo
"You sir, are the open wing man." Hachiro

"So his entire blackmail plan involves us doing the blackmail for him?" Kazuko

"Out of character, fuck him and the horse he rode in on." Kazuko

"I don't think we need to set traps for laborers." Kazuko
"Maybe you like hearing the screams as they are impaled?"  GM
"I'm not playing a Scorpion anymore, so my honor is not shitty.  So the screams of the commoners are not.." Kazuko
"Are to be avoided." Sanbi

"Me and bushido have had our problems.  Don't try to come between us with your sharp sticks." Kazuko

"Deadly chopsticks are flying at your face." Danzo
"Your first response was to open your mouth, wasn't it!?" Kazuko

You have to be the furry next time

"So apparently next time on a game, uhm... Kazuko.." GM
"Yeah, Kazuko, you have to be the furry next time."  Danzo
"I have to what?"  Kazuko
"Well the way we figure it, I've done it, and Sanbi's done it, and Sora was a big enough whore where you could just assume also furry.  So really it's up to you."  Danzo

"Someone roll me a d10.  Even and I'm a total asshole." Danzo

"Look little girl, that there is your daddy. Oh look he got stabbed.  That's not your dad anymore." Kazuko
"Pretty much, and if they start crying, then I will tell them its the nature of the world and to get used to it.  Understand what went wrong and understand what you can do to fix it."  Danzo
"Punch 'em in the face and say, now you have a reason to cry." Kazuko
"Not THAT big of a dick."  Danzo

"Why do I have the feeling that Kazuko would be the best person to baby sit kids ever?" GM
"Your definition of best, and my definition of best are very different." Kazuko
"When you have kids, GM, I'm hiring Kazuko to baby sit your kids."  Danzo

"I'll pretend to care for about 15 minutes, then throw the book in a fire." Kazuko

"We're deputy Scorpions!"  Sanbi
"Oh fuck!  There's two points of honor right there.  Goddamn Scorpions, and their manipulation."  Danzo

"If I have to deal with this shit, you do too...  I just want to get back to the wall where it was normal to deal with 10 foot oni." Danzo

"I was thinking of becoming my own blissful betrothal." Danzomaru
"Typically they frown on that, but in the colonies you can give small children your name, and then technically you do become your own blissful betrothal." GM
"Oh god, GM if you do that, that would be amazing."  Danzomaru

"Here's a question then... What do we do when we catch him?" Hachiro
"Kill him." Kazuko and Danzomaru

"There is probably some sort of Kryptonite we are meant to find.  This is probably meant to cause the PCs to use a little caution here.  This is not the right group of PCs to threaten in such a fashion."  Kazuko
"What group of PC's are ever ever frightened." Hachiro
"Reasonable ones?" Kazuko

"I keep getting the feeling you're all trying to kill eachother at times." GM
"Nonesense."  Sanbi
"We're invincible if there is only one of us left."  Kazuko
"I see what you did there." Hachiro
"Go all Highlander in the session, whoever wins, wins the game." Kazuko

"We're marginally less poor!  Jade tea is also worth stocking.  Never know when we may have to stop .... taint." Kazuko

"Also, you're a fucking merchant!  Don't feel bad about what you do." Sanbi

"Oh the foxes will probably be put in boxes... Or overboard.  Whichever comes first." Danzo

"What's the word I am looking for?  Slightly molested chickens." Hachiro

"One of them wants toasted seaweed.  One of them wants something called candy.  One of them wants lots of ginger." GM
"Oh my god, you got them pregnant." Danzomaru
"Cuz foxes love ginger."  Kazuko

"Seven tentacles!"  Kazuko
"Well, if the crab wants tentacles, the crab wants tentacles."  GM

"How did Creature of Darkness go for ya?" Hachiro
"Oh god....  Oh..." Danzo
"I would like to remind you, you were the one who said the two of you had to watch it." Hachiro
"THANK YOU HACHIRO! THANK YOU!" GM
"Doesn't matter.  Doesn't... matter.  Six or seven times, I said 'bitch, I'm never gonna forgive you for this.'  It's just awful."  Danzo

"Women who are involved with another guy are a turn off for me." Hachiro
"I'm sorry, did you say turn on?" Sanbi
"For the record, he said turn on!" Danzo
"I'm pretty sure he said on."  Kazuko

When it comes to locating the dumbasses, that I can do.

"That's why Kim Young is attacking Austin.  He's trying to keep the internet down by blowing it up."  Hachiro

"So, GM, you're dating a bronie?"  Sanbi
"Yeah..."  GM
"Grats."  Sanbi
"YES!" Danzo
"What!?" GM
"Sorry, that's the first thing I texted her when I went through and saw it..  Haha, you're dating a bronie.  Thank you Sanbi!" Danzo

"You realize that makes it a 60% chance that he's a furry, right?" Danzo
"Alright, now I'm creeped out." GM
"If he ever cries out Twilight Sparkle during sex, run!" Danzo

"Hang on, drop everything.  It's international pillow fight day." Sanbi
"No, Danzo.. no no no! NO I HAVE BOOZE IN MY HAND!  Sanbi! I don't like you!" GM
"Is the mental image I have of whats going on in your apartment correct?" Hachiro
"That we are having a pillow fight in pjs and semi nude?  Most likely.  I'm not semi nude." GM

"Dude, what the fuck... stop googling this please!" Hachiro
"Not gonna happen." Sanbi

"So do we talk to the villagers, or do we talk to the spirits?  Or do we go sit in a corner and jerk off for a few weeks." Danzomaru

"Awareness and investigation please?" GM
"Please let this not be masturbation related."  Sanbi

"I think Sanbi was saying he needs a tarp for the next time he sees his body pillow." Danzomaru

"I'm allowed to talk about money all I want." Hachiro
"Then you pay!" Kazuko

"... I do hope you decide to spread this.." GM
"Like a disease.." Kazuko
"Like an STD." GM

"There was a thump on the patio and I'm two floors up." Hachiro
"They're called birds." Danzo
"He wants to watch them fuck, give him a sec." Kazuko
"Yeah, ruffle those feathers baby."  Danzo
"You don't know how hot and bothered he got with all that fox and feather stuff." Kazuko

"Roll your detect fuck-wit." Danzo

"If there is something he would like me to do within reason..." Hachiro
"Bend over." Danzo
"Within reason!" Hachiro
"It's within reason!" GM
"I have a strict no butt rule with men." Hachiro
"But the mouth is all good!" Danzo

"When it comes to convincing people to not be dumbasses, I'm not the one.  That's up to the courtier.  When it comes to locating the dumbasses, that I can do."  Kazuko

"Waterboard him until he tells you the truth."  Kazuko
"Pretty much."  Danzo

"You want to make shadowlands?" Hachiro
"Sure! Why not!  Sanbi can fix it!" GM

'Stylized' geishas

"So let's take a Crab there.."  Kazuko

"I was dealing with a dog."  Hachiro

"Wait wait wait, you got a dog?" GM

"That's pretty much the entire story right there." Hachiro

"Okay, you want to fuck them, as long as its stylized."  Kazuko

"So there is the Lucky Star, they have many 'stylized' geishas if you wish." GM

"You got way more cash on you that I have now." Hachiro

"You're the trader with the boat, aren't you?" Kazuko

"Even though he's the door man, he still has honor himself."  GM

"Not after we're done with him."  Sanbi

"I'm saving you money on your car insurance.  Don't snicker."  Hachiro

"My good lady Crab, my friend is speaking sense.  Do not let this deter you from your investigation."  Sanbi

"How crowded is the tea house right now?" Danzomaru

"Just going to take her on the table right now?" Sanbi

"Is the Kuni hot?" Sanbi

"Yes, though she does pull her hair back so she looks very severe.  She's got the whole scolding teacher look."  GM

"So she's perfect for Danzo." Sanbi

"One, there's a fair chance that Danzo will break a bitch.  Two... that is not his sole interest in life."  Danzomaru

"But I have a big axe...... Can I go kill the foxes?" Danzo

"No!" GM and Sanbi

"Play nice for fucks sake!" GM

I don't know how to wield a sword....

Link
"Apparently there is an exhibit of this one at the HOM.  You could go visit, Hachiro." GM
"That lady needs a sammich." Hachiro
"This lady took her sammich.... And then there is the pedophile."  Kazuko
"Why..." Hachiro
"Doesn't that make you think, Hachiro?  Doesn't evoke some sort of emotion in you?"  Kazuko
"Should the emotional response I'm having be eww.???" Hachiro
"You just want to go back to the lady who needs a sammich don't you." GM

"If you wanna take a nap, go fuck a bitch and pass out." Kazuko
"Sure." GM
"That was uh.. something to say."  Sanbi

"For the next episode, I'd like to introduce the fact that everybody has been boinking your various pets."  GM
"Wha???" Sanbi
"Whose fuckin' the pets?" Kazuko
"Sanbi" GM

"Wouldn't the right hand of the daimyo be a rival for her affections?" Kazuko
"They aren't necessarily talking about the wife or the guy who jacks hiim off, so..." GM
"Nevermind." Kazuko
"The daimyo is the daimyo, he doesn't have to masturbate himself.  He can get someone to do it for him." GM
"How did we.... how ... how did we?" Sanbi
"Because we always do." Kazuko


"Of all the people at court, if the Mantis is the polite one, the Mantis is probably lying to you."  Kazuko
"I wouldn't necessarily say polite.  I'm just trying to observe... the rules."  Hachiro
"So you plop down next to her and you say 'what up bitch, talk to me about mountains.'" Kazuko

"Hachiro, how many times has your character broken out into the 'I'm on a boat' song?" Kazuko

"The artist is writing sonnets about you, praising your investigative abilities, and your honor for the artisans.." GM
"Oh you're screwed." Kazuko
"Yeah this doesn't sound like good things." Hachiro
"You used evidence and investigation to shame a samurai.  You're gonna get fuckin' beat with soap in your sleep." Kazuko

"I think it was made clear in the last session that if this were true, he would need to commit seppuku.  You proved that it was true, and he committed seppuku.. You were killing the man, Hachiro.  Killed him with your own two hands." Kazuko
"No... killed him with his tongue." GM.... silence before giggles.
"I don't even say anything and the shit just comes over." Hachiro

"I will tell a story about how I warned that the walking dead were upon our shores....  leaving out certain parts."  Hachiro
"How about a story about you're on a boat." Kazuko

"...various chickens and small children." GM
"I see..." Sanbi
"It has to be small children." Kazuko
"Well it tastes just like chicken.  c'mon!" GM
"Kitsune are good luck."  Sanbi
"Until it jumps on your small child."  Kazuko
"Until it eats your small child." Hachiro
"It's only gonna scalp it." GM
"Trust me, they are much more terrifying when they turn into women." Sanbi
"That's only cuz they are gonna eat your dick and not give it back." GM
"Wow, you have a very different image of the Kitsune than I do."  Sanbi

"Porn is usually enjoyable." Hachiro
"WAVE OFF DUDE!" Sanbi

"Sorry, I'm trying to activate all female genes to see how to turn this on you and make you feel really bad." GM
"Puppy dog eyes and tears." Kazuko
"Yes, I think she will tear up and say 'is my company really that bad.?'" GM
"As I said clearly before.." Sanbi
"Yes..  crazy bitch!  begone... BEGONE!" Kazuko

"I'm sure my first piece of advice to him would be, well you should probably make an honest woman of her." Hachiro
"Next time, don't stick your dick in 'em." Kazuko
"I DIDN'T!  For once." Sanbi
"Are you absolutely certain of that?" Hachiro
"Yes, I have learned my lesson!" Sanbi

"And trying to be suspect and discreet about my going arounds." Hachiro
"I think you mean circumspect." Sanbi
"Yeah, cuz suspect means people think you're doing it." GM
"Whatever... shut it..." Hachiro

"The dick does have to go into the vagina for the baby to happen." GM
"That usually helps." Hachiro
"Wait a minute, Mnemia has a problem with this." Kazuko
"Mnemia is not here.  Besides the ghost just shoved a little ectoplasm in there." GM
"I don't think that's how that worked." Kazuko
"Wow... uh... wow." Sanbi
"Hachiro just vicariously raped Mnemia...." GM

"You can't get her pregnant twice.  It's a free ride for at least a couple months." Kazuko

"If you would like to fuck the pregnant lady, you can fuck the pregnant lady." GM
"Yeah no, there's maho involved.  Until we determine where it came from, I'm going to refrain from putting my dick in it." Hachiro
"But it's nice and warm.  Anyway, moving on." GM
"Wow GM... just Wow..." Sanbi

"You don't know jack shit.  You think you're all alone.  You think you could go buck naked and no one would see you." GM
"Kazuko would like you to not go naked.  She would see it." Kazuko
"You would go blind."  GM
"You don't want a second crying woman on your hands do you?" Kazuko

"The other thing about Kazuko you notice is that she is some what of a smart ass.  Not all of these comments are out of character." Kazuko
"Just like you." GM

"It's an interacial kami, and goddammit, we only have pure kami around here.  You're a pure earth kami or you're no kami at all."  GM
"That's... racist?" Sanbi
"That's kamicist." GM
"Thaaaaat's Rokugan!" Hachiro

"So now, to prevent a war, I'm going to stick my dick in it!" Hachiro
"So this guy who hates you, first you discredit his father and he kills himself, then you stick your dick in his sister... I don't think this is going to help you." Kazuko
"Maybe I should send him a picture of me with my thumbs up.." Hachiro
"While balls deep in his sister."  Sanbi
"Maybe, but I don't think I want to go there." Hachiro
"While on a boat." Kazuko

L5R returns...

We've switched to Legend of the Five rings for a bit.  Just to give our other GM a breather since we were creating loops in our ancestor tables that might not ever get fixed.

For continuity/personality sake:
GM- Ioni
Sanbi - Kadon
Kazuko - Mnemia
Danzomaru - Zuko
Hachiro - Exalted GM

"I'm pretty certain that Hachiro does not have his microphone plugged in because his power cord is attempting to uhh fornicate with him. Or his head phone jack."  GM
"Wow, how much does a headset like that cost?" Sanbi
"Dude, don't blame the power cord.  Hachiro put it in there himself."  Danzomaru

"So you're probably first gen mantis clan."  GM
"Oh, well then Brutha!"  Hachiro
"Let me introduce you to my wife..."  Kazuko
"Dude I will give you so much money if you sleep with his wife." Danzomaru
"Not cool dude." Hachiro
"He probably has.  Did you read that back story?  He has banged all the things."  Kazuko
"I have not had a chance to read it yet.  Is there something I should know?"  Hachiro
"Banged all the things!" GM
"I'm pretty sure that back story was an ancestor.  At least I hope that's what it means."  Danzomaru
"He has banged all the things."  GM
"I hope you're referring to in the geisha houses and the town... and not the forest too." Hachiro
"Look its one little realm of existance, calm down." Sanbi
"Oh brother!  Wait, you could be my brother.  No, you're my father... goddammit!" GM
"We established last week who the father was."  Hachiro
"Well you never know.  There might have been a miscarriage in the beginning." GM
"God." Sanbi
"Not cool man.  Not cool.  Not even a little bit cool man."  Hachiro

"Tamiko just didn't realize she liked the cock."  Sanbi
"But once she got her first taste?  Oh my god."  Danzomaru
"She just could not keep her orrifices off."  Sanbi
"She's like oh sweet mystery of life, at last I found you." Danzomaru singing
"You realize I hate all of you, right?" Hachiro
"You brought this on yourself."  Danzomaru
"You realize, Hachiro, that what you think doesn't matter to us in the slightest."  Sanbi
"You realize, you played a female character, right?"  GM
"Yeah, and?"  Hachiro
"What you think doesn't matter." GM
"GOD!" Sanbi
"I'm sorry, I'm channeling Danzomaru."  GM
"Danzomaru, what have you done with GM?"  Sanbi
"I don't know but it hurts on me."  Danzomaru

"Do you have attendants or wives that just follow you around?" Danzomaru
"I have..... fiances?" Sanbi
"What the..."  Hachiro
"He has a harem.  It happens." Kazuko
"What kind of harem.  Please tell me they are human"  Hachiro
"Not exactly."  Sanbi
"Seriously, that was supposed to be you?  Oh jesus fucking christ..." Danzomaru
"You have a bunch of squirrels following you?"  Hachiro
"Just read the fucking thing Hachiro."  Danzomaru

"Remember, just like Kadon, he will fall completely for one of his students and forget about her the moment she disappears.."  Danzomaru
"Shut up, fucker." Sanbi

"She will bat her eyes and okay, creepy picture."  GM
"That guy looks more rapey than lecherous.  Just sayin.  Much less 'how you doin' much more 'don't worry, no one's gonna hear you scream'."  Danzomaru
"Its that industrial fan in the background that does it." Kazuko
"That really does it." Danzomaru
"Yeah, best I could do on short notice."  Sanbi
"Oh wow, the best you could do on short notice is rapey." GM
"I...  I... anyway..." Sanbi
"Welcome to my world dude.  This happens to me all the time." Hachiro
"I'm really not getting the rapey vibe off that picture, but anyway."  Sanbi
"It's turning you on?" Danzomaru

Vid located
"When he has the surgical mask on, rapey.  Gonna give him the thumbs up for the rape-age." GM
"Who the fuck is this?" Sanbi
"Nagira Komera? And he's got blood dripping over him in areas."  GM
"How the fuck did you find that that fast, Kazuko." Danzomaru
"1:40.. thats the image that I'm gonna think of Sanbi as.... No wait, 2:06....." Danzomaru
"I gotta see these now.  Yeah, 1:40 is a little creepy....  HHAHAHAHAHAA." Hachiro
"No, wait, 3 minutes." Danzomaru

"You have chosen poorly!" Danzomaru

"He's Kitsune because of his colors and he's weird." GM
"Wait, Shugenja are allowed to leer?" Hachiro
"No, weird." Sanbi

"Have you banged a monk yet?" Danzomaru
"I don't know, have you banged a monk yet." GM
"I don't know, but if I haven't then I haven't tried." Sanbi
"Maybe they are too honorable." GM
"hehe." Sanbi
"They aren't going to be your white whales of banging?" GM
"Oh we'll find Pheonix Shugenja for you." Danzomaru

"I do believe I've met your mother." Sanbi
"NOT COOL DUDE!" Hachiro

"For the record, I've sent a picture of my character and he's 6'2."  Danzomaru
"He is ginormous." Sanbi
"He is a ginormous hunk of man." Danzomaru

"You open the door and a tiny timid man is there asking 'what do you need sir samurai.'" GM
"I was wondering if you had some time to indulge some curiosities." Hachiro
"This isn't college anymore, Hachiro" Danzomaru
"See it took my a while to figure out what the fuck you were talking about sir, but fuck you sir.  If that's what I meant, I'd have sake with the crazy dude and the foxes."  Hachiro
"Why would you go after the foxes?" Danzomaru
"Or the dude?" GM
"If that.. never mind... fuck you all." Hachiro
"I think that's what we were talking about."  GM

"So, does the adventure module have the conditions of if the rest of the party goes off and has an orgy?"  Kazuko
"Uhm, no.  But I'm more than happy to bump over to you guys and lets go after your orgy!" GM


"...And she obviously enjoys your company." GM
*whistle of cop sirens going past an open window.*
"Rape Cops are go!" Danzomaru
"He will continue on, because he doesn't see a problem here." Sanbi

"You needn't worry about me.  I spent much of my life alone on a mountain.  I can certainly find ways to entertain myself if you ah... wish a quiet stroll." Kazuko
"Through masturbation." GM
"So help me I come back to my room and find a fur pile going on." Sanbi
"You'll be jealous." GM
"And in one session, one player took the other players harem away." Hachiro

"Here, allow us to do this in character.  And by in character, somebody else should say what I'm about to say."  Sanbi

"I talked to the Yasuki and he's like you should do it, you should do it....  I'm like fuck that noise." Danzomaru

"Blame GM"  Danzomaru
"Why are you blaming me?" GM
"When in doubt blame the GM" Danzomaru
"Oh." GM
"Well you guys blame me all the time." Hachiro
"That's because its always your fault.  Like all the cancer." Danzomaru

Everyone in the circle except Zuko is sleeping with Zukos mother in law.

"so what should I plan to get at the comic con tomorrow?"  Zuko
"Lap dances by Princess Leia."  Ioni
"You're dressing as Princess Leia?"  Zuko
"I'm not giving any lap dances."  Ioni
"Then don't suggest it."  Zuko

"My training is complete this week..."  GM
"Oh, you can work in my brothel?"  Ioni
"Uhh what?"  GM
"You can work in my brothel?"  Ioni
"Wrong kind... of training?"  GM
"If that's the wrong kind of training you took the wrong kind of job."  Mnemia

"We could just tie her to the bottom of Shankill and Shankill just puffs out his fur."  Ioni
"That seems..." GM
"He's a fluffy little weasel."  ioni
"I don't know if I would want to ride on the undercarriage of a giant ice weasel."  GM
"I'm getting a Taun Taun vibe here, but Shankill is slightly more useful than Fox." Kadon
"We're not slicing open Shankill.  You're not hurting my weasel."  Ioni
"Exactly my point."  Kadon
"Kadon, don't you dare touch my weasel." Ioni
"But you can touch mine." Kadon
"No." Ioni

"But don't you have a pocket tea set?" Ioni
"No.."  GM
"What do you wear your Monicle with?"  Zuko
"Regular tea.  That's why you bring your pack animals and people to carry your palanquin."  GM
"that's what Kadon needs, a palanquin." Kadon
"Oh, I'll be happy to carry it for you." Zuko
"Right off a cliff." Ioni
"Yep."  Zuko

"Just because the womens moans are coming out of the headphones doesn't mean you should stick your dick in."  Zuko
"Well he might be in for the shock of his life." Ioni
"Fuckin' well known counter magnetic properties of spooge."  Kadon
"Early on in Kadons book of 'I jizzed on a thousand things and here's what happened.'" Zuko
"That would be an awesome book."  Kadon
"It's a coffee table book."  Zuko
"There that's better.  sorry about that." GM
*Giggles*
"Something at my expense no doubt.." GM
"It might appear on the quote board later.  Something too sticky on your microphone?" Ioni
"No, the cord for the microphone keeps, for some odd reason getting into this weird tangled knot, so I have to take the headphones off and hangit by the cord and let it spin until it gets the tangle off." GM
"Whatever gets you off." Ioni
"I'm sure in your version it's much better." GM
"In my version you want to pull it." Zuko
"Huh?"  GM
"Get going.... Oooo!  A Newberry award, that means it's a childrens book!" Zuko

*Flush*
"Kadon, you're not supposed to take us into the bathroom."  Ioni
"I didn't." Kadon

"No, she wants her wedding bands." GM petulently
"Mnemia wants her robots, but we don't all get what we want." Mnemia
"Do you want to go back in the cage?" Zuko
"No..." GM
"Well we'll go take a look but I don't want you bitching the whole way home because we couldn't find your wedding bands on top of saving your ass." Zuko

"I'm pretty sure Mnemia and ZIS... I hope they don't reproduce." Mnemia
"Oh we have ways." Zuko
"I know there's ways.  They just need to not happen." Mnemia
"What, you're doing so well with the first brood, you don't want to try for another?" GM
"No."  Mnemia
"Cmon...."  Ioni
"First brood is causing Mnemia to consider ripping her ovaries out with her Daiklave." Mnemia
"Wow, cuz that's not graphic at all." GM

The board erupts in random drawings.
"Hahaha." GM
"D'OH MY GOD." Ioni
"You guys.. you made a mistake... hold on.." Zuko
"You're having children through Scarlet?  You're using them like condoms now?" GM

"whose stealing my squirrels?"  Kadon
"Taking them off." Zuko
"Why do you hate the fur pile... they were about to start yiffing."  Kadon
"I assumed that was Zuko doing that." GM
"No, I'm the one removing them now.  There's too many of them."  Zuko
"I don't know how endowed you think Zuko is, but I don't think he can reach Scarlet through that much squirrel."  GM

"He is short, and strong, and why is Scooby Doo suddenly.. Sigh." GM
"Short and strong huh..." Mnemia
"It's the Dwarves!  The mountain folk!" Kadon
"It's not offensive if it doesn't make any sense." Mnemia
"I don't know what Scooby Doo has to do with any of that." Kadon
"Short and strong thats what you get from the pedestles." GM
"It's Gavin." Ioni

"Ioni isn't called fire crotch because she has red hair." Zuko
"According to the picture she has black hair but... ohhhhhhhhhhh." GM

"I take a look at the broken fluid containers." Ioni
"They are glass, and broken with fluid starting to dry from being exposed to air."  GM
"Whats this fluid, Kadon." Ioni
"Well I open up my coffee table book."  Kadon

Ioni links something.
"Nope, not doing it." GM

"........ GEEZE! The fact that he has 'counts as masturbation' on his head." GM
"No, it's cuz Gavin and Sora count as masturbation." Mnemia
"Cuz it's the same player.. hahahaha..." GM

"Also, why are there a pair of bones coming down off of Gavin and Sora?" GM
"I'm not sure those are bones." Kadon
"Those are boners."  Ioni
"Pretty sure those are boners." Mnemia
"I'm pretty sure that just signifys boning." Zuko
"Ohhhhh eww.  By the way, those are really horrible testicles you drew." GM
"Pretty sure those got sewn together when you were little." Ioni
"Just going out on a limb, but an art critique is not the best response." Kadon

"Alrighty, thats the most offensive thing I've seen.  Dick Cheney as a Dominatrix."  GM
"Y'know, you definitly do not want to say, with Ioni in ear shot 'that's the most offensive thing I've ever seen.'" Mnemia
"Seriously, I'm trying to figure out if you are fucking retarded literally or if you just never learn."  Zuko
"It's offensive to me that someone would find him attractive sexually."  GM
"No no, dude, like you keep going 'wow, that's the worst thing ever...' You need to get out on the internet more and understand what truely is out there otherwise shit is going to shock you your entire life!  There's weird shit out there" Zuko
"Just give me a couple minutes, I could photo shop that thing with Dick Cheney into something way more offensive." Mnemia

"I'm just trying to figure out how to take out half the pillars in this place causing it to collapse on itself and just say fuck this noise." Zuko
"That might not be a good idea, cuz it might cause this place to explode." Mnemia

"Why did I waste this on Mnemia?  Oh well, there's always tomorrow." GM on an NPCs attack choice, and Ioni laughs.  "Well for me!  Not for the creature I am puppeteering."

"Helloooo Overdrive, and by that I mean goodbyeeee overdrive." Zuko

"Shouldn't that be an S E not a C E?" Mnemia
"Probably."  Kadon
"That or C S," Mnemia
"It's gonna be forever before he sees that." Zuko
"I know, and it'll be awesome." Kadon

"Yeah well fuck you." Zuko
"Why..." Kadon
"Cuz I don't want you getting a decent DV like me." Zuko

"Also, I love fucking popcorn.... I love to eat popcorn." GM
"I was going to ask, why are you fucking popcorn." Ioni
"Let me start again, I hate all you guys." GM
"That would explain why there is rythmic crunching over there.  I take it you enjoy soggy popcorn... It's probably in the coffee book that Kadon made." Ioni
"Of course!  It's hard to come up with a thousand things." Kadon
"And if he lets it sit, it becomes caramelized almost, wouldn't you say so GM?" Ioni

"It's an actual person!" Ioni listening to Wikipedia being read out loud.
"Dude or chick?" Kadon
"Dude!  With an English Accent! Thank you Mnemia, I'll have to share this at work!" Ioni
"I'll say it, fuck you Mnemia.  I'll have to deal with her talking about this now." Zuko
"The supplemental illustration on the white board was... a special touch." Kadon
"Looks like hieroglyphic." Zuko
"Kind of... you might have to scroll down GM" Kadon
"Huh?  I don't know what you're talking about.. I don't wanna know what you're talking about." GM

"Anywho, who wants to know what happened to the guy Ioni shot."  GM
"I do, I wanna see if I impregnated him."  Ioni
"Sigh.. First of all, that's not how sex works. I really hope, Ioni this whole time, owner of multiple brothels does not think that thats how this works.  Otherwise there's going to be this slew of injuries across Nexus." GM
"I have been spending quite a bit of time with ZIS lately." Ioni
"Okay, so there is one person in the entire universe of Exalted that would get off on that.  Just wondering how much further we have to take this until Kadon explodes cuz I keep hearing him choke back laughter in the background." GM
"Oh he'll explode, but not in the way that you're thinking." Zuko
"Pretty much." Ioni
"Alright, now I'm really done with this." GM
"No you're not.  You're intrigued.  You want to know more." Ioni
"So the guy gets shot, jumps forward disrupting the ritual.  Uhm..  There is a magical discharge throughout the room." GM
Giggles galore.
"DAMMIT!" GM
"HOW could that not have occured to you!  HOW?!  Answer me... how...?" Kadon
"It's like taking candy from a baby... so funny.  Anyway, back to discharge.  You okay over there GM?  You're not leaking are you?" Ioni
"WHAT?!" Zuko
"No, I'm choking on popcorn.  I muted my mic so you wouldn't hear my death throes as this kernel choked me to death" GM
"Kinky.  Didn't know the Colonel did it for you." Ioni
"Were you choking before or after the magical discharge?" Zuko
"Aww fuck it, the tower blows up and you all die."   GM
"If you're choking that hard, just y'know... put a couple fingers down there and ..." Kadon
"just... relax, stop fighting it." Ioni
"Take ten, just move back, talk dirty a little, move your hands, recompose yourself."  Zuko

"You guys give me shit for not seeing the internet, but at least I click on the link." GM
"Yeah and you bitch about it." Ioni
"Yeah but... meh." GM

"And some cultists." Ioni
"Wait, there are cultists?  I thought there were invisible dudes doing the ritual." Kadon
"It is invisible dudes...  I don't know where she went to." GM
"It's Ioni." Zuko
"Could lead into an entirely new background to Ioni's cult." Kadon


"So I have 84 damage dice per invisible creature, do you want me to roll all of that?" Mnemia
"Roll it once." GM
"53 damage.... against the wounded creature I have 66 dice for 29 damage... against the healthy demon, I have 50 dice for 19 damage." Mnemia

"I did something good this time?" Ioni
"Pegging, as good as counter magic."  Mnemia
"YAY!" Ioni
"I don't know about you, but pegging would distract my attention." GM

"His professional opinion is Ioni is a fuckin' moron.  Unfortunately, her theory isn't entirely off from reality, and he feels dirty for admitting that." GM
"I made Karam feel dirty! Yeah boy, get in your place!" Ioni

"Now you're just trying to distract him, Ioni." Kadon
"Is it safe to click on the link?" GM
"It's a link submitted by Ioni... what do you think." Ioni
"Do your hands blister easily?" Kadon
"Ohyea her.. That's what she looks like.  I have that picture" GM
"Is it in your book of fapping?" Ioni
"I have a lot of anime pictures, not all of them are for fapping." GM
"Alot of them are." Mnemia
"Most of them are." Ioni
"That's an on again, off again fap." Zuko
"It's cute and all but it's not really." GM
"This needs to stop..." Kadon
"I like her character.  At least she's of age.  Excuse me for not wanting statutory rape.  DUDE What is that thing!?" GM

"Oh it's a gif, this'll be awesome!" Mnemia
"You sound way too excited." GM

"Though you're never sure when they are over, especially the longer ones. I was talking about gifs, don't know what you were talking about." GM
"Penises." Ioni

"Ioni has a new best friend, just hope it's not one of the holocruxs."  GM
"Holocruxes?" Ioni
"You not seen Harry Potter." GM
"Those are horcruxes." Ioni
"He was combining holocrons and cruxes.." Zuko

"That's not funny, Ioni." Zuko
"That's funny and I think cats are the devil."  GM
"We have gone far down the rabbit hole with this." Kadon
"Speaking of rabbit holes, has GM scrolled down recently?" Zuko
"I scrolled down and then decided not... what the..... Is this supposed to be an upside down fist bump NOPE! I see what this is... scrolling back up." GM

Things left in Roxi's tower
"Sack of charcoal.. can of diet coke..." Zuko
"Is this somebodies W2 form?" Kadon
"Did you write Gavin on the walls?" Zuko
"Given that he was in the last city she was in... that's kind of being a dick even for you." GM
"Hey... You don't know my dick capabilities..." Zuko
"He wants all dick capabilities." Ioni
"I don't want one dick capability, I want all dick capabilities." Zuko

"What do you do with your new book?"  GM
"I hug it and put it on a shelf."  Ioni
"Okay, you have a new friend.  I think.. We'll see in the coming weeks."  GM
"I don't want to open the book.  I will wait until it says its okay, I don't want to violate its trust." Ioni
"Fuckin' hate you people.  This is all your fault, Kadon" Zuko
"I was thinking, do I really want to give you guys the book of three circles?  Then it occures to me, what the fuck would you guys do with!  None of you want to learn sorcery. At least its amusing with her." GM
"I might read it later.  At least it's a kindly old gentleman who likes to tell stories.  But if its going to be one of those rapey kinds, no.  I don't do rapey books." Ioni
"This is like finding Excalibur and handing it to the kid with downs." Zuko
"This does explain why the book of three circles reads like a romance novel." Kadon
"I got bored, I had to rewrite a bit of it." Ioni

"You will strip naked for all countermagic, deal with it!" Ioni
"Are we back on Envy yet?!" Mnemia

"So Mnemia, you hear your name followed by a string of angry words.... do you wish to accept the phone call?" GM

"By the way, people are getting fit." GM on the whore house being at the top of the mountain in Nexus.
"Why did she turn into a mountain?" Kadon
"Because it's an I know you want me, so come at me bro." GM
"I'll ask a weird question.  can't you punch a mountain?" Zuko
"Because a mountain has dodge excellencies." GM
"AS A MOUNTAIN?!" Zuko
"It's complicated." GM
"I'm gonna go grapple a mountain." Zuko

"Somebody find me a kid with a scar and an orange sweat shirt..." Kadon

"What if we turn that off." Zuko
"We can't." Kadon
"What if we break it." Zuko
"That would be unwise." Kadon
"But we have you to fix it!" Ioni
"You can fix it!" Zuko

"You said Lucy, everyone else thought Lucy, I though Ophelia and I was like.. YOu... What the..... you! stoppit!" Kadon
"She's standing right next to you!" GM
"Stoppit!  Very bad primordial!" Kadon

"oh fine.. and once again I've done it...  Where the fuck is my girlfriend?" Kadon

"Ioni goes into distraction/newfriend making mode." Ioni
"Like a feedback loop of.." Kadon
"Idiots." Zuko
"We just start talking to eachother in a high pitch." Ioni
"It's like two modems having sex." GM

"So I'm thinking I need to add an elder lunar to my harem.  How do you feel about having a father in law, Zuko." Kadon
"Try it." Zuko

"You can fuck the elder lunar later." Zuko
"So Mnemia gets to be your daddy, not Kadon." Mnemia
"Lets see if we can create some loops in the family tree."  Kadon

"Everyone in the circle except Zuko is sleeping with Zukos mother in law." Kadon

"Unconquered Sun jizz." Ioni
"I imagine its a fantastic cock.  Breathtaking." Zuko
"Prolly multip pronged." GM

"Does the receipt match the jade?" Ioni
"And Zukos inability to read comes back to bite him with his thievery." Kadon
"I can read." Zuko

A link for our GM  LINK! because he's always surprised as to what is found on the web.

No peeing on shit.

"So how badly did you hurt your self?" GM
"Well, there may be extra protein with the fish, like I said."  Ioni
"Alrighty then." GM
"No, I did not hurt myself.  I am better with a knife than that."  Ioni
"Okay.....  For cooking right?"  GM
"... Suuure?"  Ioni

"So I discovered something called death battles today... or friday I guess now..."  GM
"Was this at your BDSM club?"  Ioni
"No." GM

"By the way, Ioni, if it was a date.  I would not have given you guys the option to say no.  And Zuko, fuck you."  GM

"... and that was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and they just blew up."  GM
"Way to go, GM, you broke them apart."  Zuko
"I was a cylon, I was only trying to kill them!" GM

"This will make Ioni more of a whore..." Zuko
"Woooo!" Ioni
"Sorry about that, what did I miss?"  GM
"Well we were going to remove the remove intimacies power and instead have the alchemical post fucking power."  Zuko
"Post... fucking... power?" GM
"Not literally post fucking.. the after fucking ability." Kadon
"I understand the grammar involved."  GM

"Just want to point out, someone should stop Mnemia from coming to whatever conlusion she's going to at this point."  Mnemia on a triple botch.
"What the fuck dude!" Zuko
"I'm helping."  Mnemia
"Wooooooow.  That's impressive."  Kadon



"I'm going to point out that Monkey Butler only wanted one of these people, of these flying monkey things."  Zuko
"To put his penis in.  I assume that's what you were alluding to." GM
"Right. If we could keep one of them around, I"m sure he'd appreciate it." Zuko
"Well I'm sure we could find him soemthing to fuck, it shouldn't be too hard."  Mnemia
"As I believe you yourself noted, I could just make some."  Kadon
"They'd probably be hotter too."  Mnemia
"The fact that we are contemplating hot monkies, is.."  Kadon
"What's this 'we' shit?  I'm over here trying to run a game."  GM
"Hot vicious monkey sex."  Zuko

"You're basking in your awesomeness."  GM
"Thought about it." Mnemia
"Got afterglow!" Ioni

"Zuko, you think she is a sucky ass guardian.  You would hope to god that if she was guarding your manse, you'd know already about solars wandering through it who are totemic.  Mnemia, you think she's off to call the guards.  Ioni, she is definitly out of it.  This animated intelligence you are dealing with, Ioni you would perhaps put it up to her being drunk, intoxicated or taken a blow to the head.  Kadon, you get a slower thought, if she's part of the manse, she should not be so flakey.[...]"  GM
"Awesome, well she's drunk." Ioni
"Mnemia is going to take off."  Mnemia
"Ioni's going to hole Mnemia's progress and say 'its okay its okay, she's drunk.'"  Ioni
"It's okay, it's okay, it's cool she's drunk.  This is from Ioni?  I don't think Mnemia waits for Ioni's explanation."  Mnemia
"I don't think Ioni can hold Mnemia back.  She's going along with that train as long as that train is going."  GM
"Most likely."  Ioni

"She's going down the summoning circle and killing everything."  Mnemia
"With Ioni cliiiinging to her shoulder."  Ioni
"Go ahead and kill everything, that's cool."  Kadon

"Hehehhe"  Ioni after a skype download.
"It could fit comfortably.... why Mnemia, why.  I don't even know if I want to click the button."  GM
"Hahahah." Kadon
"Am I going to be offended by this?[..]  Wow that took you like no time, dude."  Zuko
"[......]  What the hell.... There's something wrong with you, dude."  GM

"You say that with a little too much authority, GM.  Next time, try to convince us you don't fap to hentai."  Kadon
"Yeah GM."  Mnemia
"Cuz we certainly know that Kadon has never looked at hentai"  Zuko
"Obviously not.  I know nothing about anthropomorphic pollen."  Kadon
"That series is funny."  GM
"It really is."  Kadon
"The premis is... what?  the pollen is what?"  GM
"And its just... well, it's the pollen again."  Zuko
"Pollen is not that big!" GM
"The phrase I hate allergy season has never run less true."  Kadon
"Well for some of that, allergy season has a bit of an upside to it."  Zuko
"Unless you're a girl and straight... unless you're a guy."  GM
"Clearly we.."  Kadon
"We need to pull this conversation over..."  GM

"And just... to put my mind at ease.  Mnemia, please tell me you had to google for that image and you didn't have it on hand and ready to go..."  GM
"What do you mean?  That's July!" Zuko
"It's a preview GM! It's free!" Mnemia
"You're all horrible people." GM

"I was hoping he was like, lets find something on the internet and add myself to the FBI database now and not that I've had this on hand and now is the perfect time to use it."  GM

"She inquires weather or not you know she's bait for a trap, right?"  GM
"Yeah, we don't really care."  Zuko

"Are you fapping or talking to GM?" Zuko to Kadon
"I'm pressing buttons on my keyboard."  Kadon
"Note, he didn't rule both of them out."  Zuko
"I am navigating my space ships... shush."  Kadon

"So, I always carry a pair of jumper cables for Mnemia's war strider.." Kadon

"Basically you want [Ioni] to grab onto two poles and have the electricity go through her instead?" GM
"Yup!" Mnemia and Zuko
"Oh my gosh.  Kadon, roll me a smart person roll... for manse." GM resignedly.
"I offered to engineer a solution here earlier but no one wanted it."  Kadon
"I think they want to electrocute Ioni to see if they can get the stupid out."  Ioni

"You're going to have to lay down on this thing, so its going to be tingly for a little while."  GM
"Kinky?"  Ioni
"Wrong kind of tingle."  GM
"And all the vibrators in her pack go off all at once."  Mnemia
"Dammit, you guys weren't supposed to know about that."  Ioni
"And all the vibrators reach super speed.  They cannot take that much power captain!"  Zuko
"I just took a drink!  Don't do that!" GM
"How many times can Ioni cum while we lift this weight?"  Mnemia
"If she's into this kind of shit, ZIS is going to be jealous.  ZIS'd probably be all over this thing."  Zuko

"For the record, while Kadon's down there, Zuko will be like, Mnemia, it would be funny if we just dropped this on him."  Zuko
"If you make me laugh, I actually will drop it."  Mnemia
"At which point, Ioni might buzz out a joke and say so about this one whore who walked into a bar."  Ioni
"Fortunately it doesn't take that long for Kadon to fly back on up."  GM
"I can teleport out of here and leave you fuckers if you want."  Kadon

"Question... I was thinking Zuko might pee on something so that whoever owns this household, comes back and discovers it and can smell really well, gets pissed off a little."  Ioni
"Do not taunt... the psychotic Elder Lunar." Kadon
"Cuz she's gonna totally be fine with us stealing Fox back."  Mnemia
"Look, there is doing things she will disagree with violently, and then there is just being a dick about it."  Kadon
"Now I'm scratching, Dear Roxy, go fuck yourself - Kadon Cind."  Zuko
"When did you learn to write?"  Kadon
"I write it in Old Realm.  Besides, Ioni, pissing on things please....  I would j'paff Roxy if she were here.  Pissing on things is so last century.  Now breaking her entire tower until its a giant cock..."  Zuko
"Start punching out entire floors up top until you get a nice rounded head?" Mnemia
"Yup." Zuko

"I was just thinking marking territory."  Ioni
"Yeah, cuz that's the way to get to a Lunars heart."  GM
"I don't know, it's animalistic..." Ioni
"My plan to get to the Lunars heart is through her fucking chest.. with my fist."  Zuko

Painting Minis... right....

WOOT! DIE HARD MOVIE.  *Note: Turn on the closed captioning and select English as the beta translation.*

*swishing sounds*
"Taking bong hits over there?" Kadon
"Yeah, seriously."  Zuko
"No, I'm cleaning up a brush from painting miniatures."  Mnemia
"Would be way cooler if Mnemia was *inhale* don't know what you're talking about."  Zuko

"We have mined more science fiction references than my brain can hold at one time."  Kadon
"Is there nudity?"  Zuko
"Unless you count holo=graphic cleavage, not really."  Kadon
"Ugh... Men or womens."  Zuko
"Ass or boob?"  Ioni
"Basically I have seen everything."  Zuko

"Who is hacking into the DMV?"  Zuko
"Not me..... Kadon."  Ioni
"I'm still painting minis, finger quotes."  Mnemia
"Mnemia...." Zuko
"Do you have naked minis?"  Kadon
"Do you call your penis a mini?"  Zuko
"Thought the joke was that I was getting high."  Mnemia dead pan.
"Ohhhh, okay."  Zuko
"It's just so far out of character for you..."  Kadon
"Couldn't hold on to the joke for that long?"  Mnemia

"Pardon me, I have a mouth full of girl scouts cookie.  All the girl scouts around here are selling cookies."  GM
"Yeah, I have had to resist many a time."  Kadon
"You have your mouth full of a girl scouts cookie..."  Zuko
"While that is technically correct... NO.  It's the thin mints, they call me."  GM
"Is that your nick-name?"  Zuko
"Huh?"  GM
"Nothing, continue.  I'm being stupid."  Zuko
"Now I'm imagining how someone can get that as a nick-name...  Thin, that parts easy... but mint?"  GM

GM introduces his time management goals.  Ioni starts wondering about a daily mock up....
"Fast and furious tapping?"  GM
"Uhmmm kay...  that was probably me, but it wasn't related to what you were saying."  Zuko
"Okay, then I mock you... but lovingly."  GM
"Or it was me."  Kadon
"You're loving the butt?"  Ioni
"It really depends on whose butt it is."  GM
"What?!"  Kadon
"This is what happens when I respond to Ioni.  Everyone goes 'wha?'"  GM
"I know, you have all taken it upon yourselves to do the smartest thing possible and ignore half of what I say."  Ioni
"You guys hear something?"  Zuko
"Sadly I'm not the smart person of this group, so I listened to it anyway."  GM
"I have some people for you to meet, and you can just listen to them until you feel like you're stupid."  Ioni

"She's good at manipulation, she can get them to say Mnemia's name."  Kadon
"I forget... what's the name of the big giant sword carrying bitch who kills people?"  Zuko
"Sorry Zuko, that's not really narrowing it down in this game."  Kadon
"That's what Scarlet is saying to get them to say Mnemias name."  Mnemia

"I'd like to order a case of mirrors from Chiaruscuro and have them shipped to Yushan please?" Kadon
"A case of mirrors?" GM
"Never mind." Kadon
"Yeah, sorry Kadon, I didn't get that either buddy."  Zuko

"So we're gonna go bug Mercury."  Ioni
"Uhhh huh!" Zuko
"Well we're gonna start with polite conversation."  Mnemia
"When have we ever started with polite conversation?" Ioni
"Oh we start with polite conversation all the time, it doesn't usually last throughout the entire first sentence."  Mnemia
"In our defense, that first sentence often goes down in and dpppdrerdrper fuckin' da derpaboooba."  Zuko
"Well stated."  GM
"Idealy she see's us coming and goes... don't say a word.  Here's whats going on.  Cuz she knows she doesn't want to hear what we have to say."  Mnemia

"Does anyone actually think they can stop us?"  Zuko

"The Doctor thinks its actually a horrible idea to bother someone after multiple orgasm." GM
"Well that's when she's the most ammenable to new things."  Ioni
"Has The Doctor ever had sex with a woman?....... And been responsible for those multiple orgasms?"  Mnemia
"Yeeees.?"  GM
"It's not like a spider where she bites your head off afterward."  Mnemia
"I'll admit sometimes its hard for them to talk... I can understand its hard for her to talk, but its not 'oh man she's gonna kick your ass if you go talk to her now.'"  Zuko
"Especially when you are the source."  Mnemia
"If anything, she's going to want to cuddle."  Ioni
"Look, we found the incarnaes clitoris.  We are the worlds greatest detectives."  Zuko
"She's up for like massive amount of pillow talk here.  Lets get our learning on." Mnemia

"These pipes are cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeean."  Zuko

"Hang on, I'm fully exercising my brain."  GM
"I can smell the smoke from here." Zuko

"The floor, ceiling and walls are all of a reflective surface."  GM
"I'm greatful I'm wearing pants today!" Ioni
"Someone translate." GM
"Just what she said."  Kadon
"...kay...."  GM
"You're in a hall with a mirror floor!  We can see her hooha" Kadon
"Who hasn't!?" Zuko

"I am a medical examiner."  Kadon
"Who is constantly walking around with a hard on."  Zuko
"Damn thats a fine ass."  Ioni
"It's a brainer, don't worry." Zuko

"All I'm saying, is as much as we like the Doctor, if he doesn't stop his bitching or we're gonna make him rearrange a few more neighborhoods."  Zuko
"Excuse him if he doesn't want to be associated with a people who are about to piss off not only a god, but his!"  GM
"Well she'll be praying 'oh god, more more more' or 'fuck damn fuck damn oh shit fuck damn.'"  Ioni
"Is that me?  Hang on."  Kadon

*tinkle tinkle*
"Whose peeing?"  Zuko
"Mnemia"  Ioni
"It's the mini's.  It's still the same cup of water!"  Mnemia
"I know, it just sounds like you're tinkling."  Zuko
"It's either that or it's Kadon."  Ioni
"Well Kadon is away, if thats the sound of water on his side, he might want to return."  GM
"That's some good aim!" Zuko

"If this is the door we reach, we're still gonna knock."  Mnemia
"It's always helpful to knock before entering."  Ioni
"It's not going to stop us, it's perfunctory."  Mnemia
"In case she needs to put stuff away before you enter?"  GM
"Bzzzzzzzzzzzz" Zuko

"You knock, but there is no response of any kind."  GM
"Crumpets!" Ioni
"there is no response to crumpets."  GM

"Ioni, owning a brothel you can tell the bed has recently seen action."  GM
"Well anyone can tell that.  It's probably rumpled.  Anyone can smell it according to Zuko, so yeah!" Ioni
"Feels like I just touched upon a conversation the two of you have had.."  GM
"Apparently when I'm gone for the weekend, Zuko just has chicks over and screws them on my bed."  Ioni
"Okay, so Zuko is not that good of a liar."  Kadon
"KADON HELPS!" Zuko in the background.
"Apparently Kadon helps according to Zuko."  Ioni
"Ioni is just easily lied to..." Kadon
"I just stop arguing with this shit after a while.  cuz there is no reason... Just eats up time."  Ioni

"We have to have sex in the next 30 minutes or the world is destroyed."  GM's favorite pick up line.
"Just give them three hundred dollars with the line and I'll guarantee it works every time."  Zuko
"Zuko.... Expert on hooker phenomena."  Kadon
"I'm pretty sure any line will work fine with a 300 dollar entry fee on there.  I'm just guess, but I'm pretty sure that I'm right."  GM
"Anywhere where 'spread 'em' is a pick up line, not some place you want to be."  Kadon

"So, perception investigation, is she a squirter?" Kadon about Mercury
*GM Sighs.*
"You would think the incarnae would have enough attendents that she wouldn't have to sleep on the wet spot after."  Zuko

"So lets just get out the strings here and see the origin of the trajectory and how far it went."  Kadon
*GM is stunned.*
"Question: How much paraphenalia is around the bed that is related to 50 shades of grey?"  Ioni
"Wait a second, wait a second.  Kadon, I think you're forgetting something very important. If the placenta and afterbirth from a primordial was a worthy crafting element... I'm pretty sure if we gather up these sheets we can craft something bitchin'." Zuko
"At the very least they will make the most awesome sailing ship ever."  Kadon
"Is the Doctor touching himself yet after all this talk?"  Mnemia

"Mine's teacup!" GM
"Wha?" Kadon
"Safe word... nevermind!" GM
"That's his favorite... y'know.  That's GMs favorite safe word at the BDSM clubs these days."  Zuko
"I would have gone with kumkwat."  GM
"That's too much like cum and squat."  Ioni
"Yep, which is GMs favorite activity at the BDSM club."  Zuko

"If everyone did a reading, then longest wedding ever!" GM
"Not true, some Indian weddings go on for weeks."  Ioni
"Challenge accepted?"  GM
"Okay, when you get married, you can have a wedding that goes for months."  Ioni
*tinkle tinkle tinkle of Mnemia and the minis.*

"Where's Harlotry?"  Zuko
"Somewhere in the middle of town.  I believe Ioni has interests there."  GM
"Yes.... what are they doing to my district?"  Ioni
*bzzz bzzz*
"Might not respect my clam!" Zuko
"Note to self, do not write anything for you fuckers again in the last 10 minutes.  Always have a good day of proof reading."  GM
"I thought that was a given."  Ioni
"Always respect the clam!" Kadon
"Trying to do something nice for you guys and this is what I get in return?"  GM getting snippy
"Because Breading didn't last for four weeks."  Mnemia
"That one wasn't me.  I take no responsibility for breading.  Well I do for her actions, but beyond that..."  GM

"You guys read, I'm going to go heat up some pizza.  If you have any questions just yell them out and I might hear them."  GM
"Are you using chopsticks for pizza?" Ioni
"NO!"  GM

"Is there a giant 'ass mountain' somewhere?"  Zuko
"You do not think that is a proper pronoun.  You think it's a descriptor."  GM
"Well its in Harlotry.  I expect there to be an ass mountain with a massive ogre on top."  Zuko

"She's saying not to fuck with it after the freeze, but we can fuck with it before the freeze ends."  Ioni
"I'm pretty sure that's what she is saying.  We can go to the tower of Rais.... Tower of Ravens. .....Tower of Raisins..."Kadon
"Heard it through the grape vine.." Zuko

"A respected clam is a happy clam."  Kadon
"Kadon..." Ioni
"Right Ioni?"  Kadon
"Kadon... lower the creepy vibe just a little."  Ioni
"Awwwww!" Kadon
"He doesn't know how!" Zuko

"Any reason why we can't just kill him."  Zuko on our beloved intern
"Yes."  Ioni and Kadon
"Interested in hearing your take on it, Ioni."  GM
"He obviously needs to be shamed for his choice in fucking."  Ioni

"Fortunately or unfortunately, Kadon is more practical than embarassed."  Kadon
"Maybe its time for Kadon to go to Caleb and ask who his daddy is."  Mnemia
"Who is yo daddy and what does he do."  Kadon
"Zuko is interested in interogating him.  Come with me Caleb into this room here.  Don't worry that it's sound proof.  That doesn't mean a thing." Zuko
"Do not waste my interns."  Kadon
"Don't worry." Zuko

"I'm going to interrogate the fuck out of this kid.... You can heal like severed limbs, right?" Zuko
"...No?!" Kadon
"Dammit!"  Zuko
"I can repair health levels, and I can repair them fast."  Kadon
"Well we just won't have as much fun."  Zuko

"Who?" Zuko
"You're going to threaten to break one of my arms if I don't tell you."  GM resignedly.
"No... promise."  Ioni
"Why yes, you CAN see the future."  Kadon

"Kadon..... As soon as we're far enough away.... Kadon... you got some 'splainin' to do to Nessa buddy."  Zuko
"sigh.... oh for fucks sake, really?" Kadon
"I've never seen Ribbons up this close with this charm, and given I don't think Nessa is a Sidereal... Near as I can guess with Ribbons particular strange talents, probably 10 or 12 years from nowish.... He don't know."  Zuko

"Just for the record guys, I didn't plan for you to take and pacific.... pacific action you guys... Fuck you."  GM
"Atlantic action?"  Zuko
"Spe...ci...fic..." Kadon
"Don't you start with that joke.  I have enough people giving me that joke already.  I'm gonna nip that in the bud right here right now no!  But when players take a specific charm I kind of expect them to go hey, lets use it over here.  So for the last 6-7 sessions I've been goin' HEY WHY YOU USE NO CHARM!?" GM

"I don't like to hide things from you guys.  So now.... Silken Sky... and ZIS... and my wife... all have the same daddy."  Zuko
"SISTERS!" Ioni
"It's Gavin, right?" Mnemia
"Oh if it's Gavin, I'm gonna fuckin' kill GM and he knows it.  I will butcher GM if he does that."  Zuko
"I will give you this much he is not the daddy."  GM
"He's the mommy, that is also not acceptable.  If I am in any part related to Gavin, I will hurt you GM."  Zuko

"Let's go to Nexus and..." Zuko
*Kadon blows his nose loud enough to drown out the rest.*

"When it comes to ZIS, I already tore that bitch up."  Zuko
"Sexually?" Ioni
"He tore her head off."  Mnemia
"It was awesome.  I can't wait to tell Scarlet I killed her sister."  Zuko
"I really wanna see how that plays out with you."  GM
"Oh c'mon.  Zorana killed her tons of times.  I'm allowed at least one sister!" Zuko

"Not being related to anyone is a feat in and of itself."  Kadon
"Dude, I am emaculate all over."  Ioni
"I...." Kadon
"I'm not sure how to retort to that."  GM

"As I was sayin'.  Three way baby.  Some where out there.  Quick question GM.  Is Kadon Arnold Shwarzeneggar or is he Danny DeVito?"  Kadon
"Oh for fucks sake.  As I haven't seen that movie beyond the reviews..."  GM
"You haven't seen Twins?"  Zuko
"The people I have heard from..." GM
"The people who you have heard from are fuckin' stupid!" Zuko
"Yeah, I gotta agree with Zuko on this one."  Kadon
"Hey Kadon, whats the fourth rule in any crisis situation?" Zuko
"Don't fuck your mom."  Ioni
"DUCK!" Zuko
"Was that a Howard the Duck reference?"  GM
"No, what were we just fucking talking about!?" Zuko

"As soon as he mentioned getting that charm, I was like, well there's a whole lot of secrets that are coming out fast." GM
"Like Siracha sauce on a whore." Ioni
"Yeah well... So Ioni, you sit down to meditate..." GM
"WHAT?! Like Siracha sauce on a whore... things that will come out fast?"  Zuko
"Two things in my brain, mashed them into a sentence, you're the only one to call me on it."  Ioni
"Do you mother fuckers get what I have to deal with?" Zuko
"As if there were ever any doubt."  Kadon

"While you meditate, you fall asleep." GM
"GODDAMN I suck at meditation.  I rolled a ten!" Ioni
"You're still wearing that Tiara."  GM
"Yeah, I'm still wearing that.... And no I am not sucking people off while I meditate!" Ioni to room mate in the background.
"I'll have to assume that was Zuko off mic and not the voices in your head." GM
"Mmmhm, both."  Ioni

"You get the impression that on the inside you would find.." GM
"another box?" Ioni
"No, not in the way you are intending."  GM
"Another vagina?" Ioni
"Not .... no.  You get the impression of a very large facility..."  GM
"For creating vaginas?" Ioni
"You want to succeed at this roll or not woman?"  GM
"Did you say creating or korean vaginas?"  Zuko
"Creating. Please continue.  I'll use a phrase you'll rarely hear. Please continue, I beg of you." Ioni
"Oh that just hurt!" GM
"Also a line GM would not hear."  Zuko

"Only rape if you don't want it."  GM
"If Monkey Butler wants to nail some flying Monkeys, Scarlet and I can go find those up pretty quick."  Zuko

"There is one thing we care about, Monkey Butler, is you getting your freak on."  Zuko
"A happy butler is a good butler?" GM
"Everyone deserves to get their bone on."  Zuko
"I seem to remember every time that Gavin gets his bone on someone punching him in the face."  GM
"Gavin doesn't count as a person!" Zuko

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KADON!"  Ioni
"Happy Birthday Kadon!  And I gave you a kid for your birthday! Now both you and Mnemia are parents!" GM

"So I had a thought.. silly me.  About where we play our children in Exalted 3."  Mnemia

"Nice."  Kadon on link1 and link2
"Ohhh Ioni... that took me a while... What the hell.... You have no heart."  GM
"That's amazing."  Zuko

Obligatory link.
Followed by...

And Later that week while quotes are written up....

"Like Siracha Sauce on a whore."  Ioni
"While a fan of Sriracha... not sure if I would want it on a whore... also not sure how much you'd have to pay them to put said sauce on themselves, because I have to guess that stuff burns like hell."  GM
"300 bucks and your famous pick up line.  Again, at your BDSM club."  Ioni
"What is my famous pick up line?" GM
"Oh, good.  Someone didn't ignore her.  And now this is a thing."  Mnemia
" "we have 30 minutes to fuck or the world will end" GM.  Zuko just said 'you really should learn!' in reference to ignoring me."  Ioni