L5R returns...

We've switched to Legend of the Five rings for a bit.  Just to give our other GM a breather since we were creating loops in our ancestor tables that might not ever get fixed.

For continuity/personality sake:
GM- Ioni
Sanbi - Kadon
Kazuko - Mnemia
Danzomaru - Zuko
Hachiro - Exalted GM

"I'm pretty certain that Hachiro does not have his microphone plugged in because his power cord is attempting to uhh fornicate with him. Or his head phone jack."  GM
"Wow, how much does a headset like that cost?" Sanbi
"Dude, don't blame the power cord.  Hachiro put it in there himself."  Danzomaru

"So you're probably first gen mantis clan."  GM
"Oh, well then Brutha!"  Hachiro
"Let me introduce you to my wife..."  Kazuko
"Dude I will give you so much money if you sleep with his wife." Danzomaru
"Not cool dude." Hachiro
"He probably has.  Did you read that back story?  He has banged all the things."  Kazuko
"I have not had a chance to read it yet.  Is there something I should know?"  Hachiro
"Banged all the things!" GM
"I'm pretty sure that back story was an ancestor.  At least I hope that's what it means."  Danzomaru
"He has banged all the things."  GM
"I hope you're referring to in the geisha houses and the town... and not the forest too." Hachiro
"Look its one little realm of existance, calm down." Sanbi
"Oh brother!  Wait, you could be my brother.  No, you're my father... goddammit!" GM
"We established last week who the father was."  Hachiro
"Well you never know.  There might have been a miscarriage in the beginning." GM
"God." Sanbi
"Not cool man.  Not cool.  Not even a little bit cool man."  Hachiro

"Tamiko just didn't realize she liked the cock."  Sanbi
"But once she got her first taste?  Oh my god."  Danzomaru
"She just could not keep her orrifices off."  Sanbi
"She's like oh sweet mystery of life, at last I found you." Danzomaru singing
"You realize I hate all of you, right?" Hachiro
"You brought this on yourself."  Danzomaru
"You realize, Hachiro, that what you think doesn't matter to us in the slightest."  Sanbi
"You realize, you played a female character, right?"  GM
"Yeah, and?"  Hachiro
"What you think doesn't matter." GM
"GOD!" Sanbi
"I'm sorry, I'm channeling Danzomaru."  GM
"Danzomaru, what have you done with GM?"  Sanbi
"I don't know but it hurts on me."  Danzomaru

"Do you have attendants or wives that just follow you around?" Danzomaru
"I have..... fiances?" Sanbi
"What the..."  Hachiro
"He has a harem.  It happens." Kazuko
"What kind of harem.  Please tell me they are human"  Hachiro
"Not exactly."  Sanbi
"Seriously, that was supposed to be you?  Oh jesus fucking christ..." Danzomaru
"You have a bunch of squirrels following you?"  Hachiro
"Just read the fucking thing Hachiro."  Danzomaru

"Remember, just like Kadon, he will fall completely for one of his students and forget about her the moment she disappears.."  Danzomaru
"Shut up, fucker." Sanbi

"She will bat her eyes and okay, creepy picture."  GM
"That guy looks more rapey than lecherous.  Just sayin.  Much less 'how you doin' much more 'don't worry, no one's gonna hear you scream'."  Danzomaru
"Its that industrial fan in the background that does it." Kazuko
"That really does it." Danzomaru
"Yeah, best I could do on short notice."  Sanbi
"Oh wow, the best you could do on short notice is rapey." GM
"I...  I... anyway..." Sanbi
"Welcome to my world dude.  This happens to me all the time." Hachiro
"I'm really not getting the rapey vibe off that picture, but anyway."  Sanbi
"It's turning you on?" Danzomaru

Vid located
"When he has the surgical mask on, rapey.  Gonna give him the thumbs up for the rape-age." GM
"Who the fuck is this?" Sanbi
"Nagira Komera? And he's got blood dripping over him in areas."  GM
"How the fuck did you find that that fast, Kazuko." Danzomaru
"1:40.. thats the image that I'm gonna think of Sanbi as.... No wait, 2:06....." Danzomaru
"I gotta see these now.  Yeah, 1:40 is a little creepy....  HHAHAHAHAHAA." Hachiro
"No, wait, 3 minutes." Danzomaru

"You have chosen poorly!" Danzomaru

"He's Kitsune because of his colors and he's weird." GM
"Wait, Shugenja are allowed to leer?" Hachiro
"No, weird." Sanbi

"Have you banged a monk yet?" Danzomaru
"I don't know, have you banged a monk yet." GM
"I don't know, but if I haven't then I haven't tried." Sanbi
"Maybe they are too honorable." GM
"hehe." Sanbi
"They aren't going to be your white whales of banging?" GM
"Oh we'll find Pheonix Shugenja for you." Danzomaru

"I do believe I've met your mother." Sanbi
"NOT COOL DUDE!" Hachiro

"For the record, I've sent a picture of my character and he's 6'2."  Danzomaru
"He is ginormous." Sanbi
"He is a ginormous hunk of man." Danzomaru

"You open the door and a tiny timid man is there asking 'what do you need sir samurai.'" GM
"I was wondering if you had some time to indulge some curiosities." Hachiro
"This isn't college anymore, Hachiro" Danzomaru
"See it took my a while to figure out what the fuck you were talking about sir, but fuck you sir.  If that's what I meant, I'd have sake with the crazy dude and the foxes."  Hachiro
"Why would you go after the foxes?" Danzomaru
"Or the dude?" GM
"If that.. never mind... fuck you all." Hachiro
"I think that's what we were talking about."  GM

"So, does the adventure module have the conditions of if the rest of the party goes off and has an orgy?"  Kazuko
"Uhm, no.  But I'm more than happy to bump over to you guys and lets go after your orgy!" GM


"...And she obviously enjoys your company." GM
*whistle of cop sirens going past an open window.*
"Rape Cops are go!" Danzomaru
"He will continue on, because he doesn't see a problem here." Sanbi

"You needn't worry about me.  I spent much of my life alone on a mountain.  I can certainly find ways to entertain myself if you ah... wish a quiet stroll." Kazuko
"Through masturbation." GM
"So help me I come back to my room and find a fur pile going on." Sanbi
"You'll be jealous." GM
"And in one session, one player took the other players harem away." Hachiro

"Here, allow us to do this in character.  And by in character, somebody else should say what I'm about to say."  Sanbi

"I talked to the Yasuki and he's like you should do it, you should do it....  I'm like fuck that noise." Danzomaru

"Blame GM"  Danzomaru
"Why are you blaming me?" GM
"When in doubt blame the GM" Danzomaru
"Oh." GM
"Well you guys blame me all the time." Hachiro
"That's because its always your fault.  Like all the cancer." Danzomaru