A concerted effort to not be a 'fight evil' kind of guy.

"Just waiting for this to get started and thinking about what I'm going to do for dinner." Mnemia
"Lure small children into the oven and cook 'em." Ioni
"She who will kick all of our asses gets mad when I do that." Mnemia
"What if they are bad children.  Cuz then you're really doing a service." Ioni
"Police don't seem to think so.  And if I do it again, apparently it will be escalated to the FBI."  Mnemia
Ioni follows with this.

"If a certain amount of alcohol is not drunk each night; the house gets mad at us and will try to kill us." Zuko

"Just reminds me of Blue Mage."  Mnemia on Kadons new thing of being hit by a charm and then knowing it.
"okay.." GM
"It's a Final Fantasy thing if you don't really get it." Mnemia
"Yeah... I've..." GM
"I followed it, buddy!  He's a Quistis, and we all knew that all along." Zuko
"what?" Kadon
"OMG it fits more and more the more I think about it.  Jesus." Zuko
"Don't disparage the Quistis.  It is way more awesome." Mnemia
"He's even a teacher!  It just keeps getting better!" Zuko
"His preferred weapon turns to whip.  I'm sure he's proficient." Mnemia
"Isn't whip a martial arts weapon?" GM
"Way to ruin it all, GM." Zuko

"Excuse me while I go play in traffic to level up." GM

"If I'm walking down the street, naked.... It doesn't seem odd to anyone.  You don't notice I'm out of sorts.  So I'm just part of the crowd.  It'll be weird that a guy is walking down the street a little but everyone is like 'Oh, oh well... okay... that's what people do here.'"  Zuko

"They make your motivation to eat cup-cakes." Zuko
"That is hostile to my diet." Kadon
"That is not hostile to you or your motivation." Zuko
"Therefore I don't care..." Kadon
"If Kadon changes his motivation to be dieting, I'm kicking his ass." Zuko
"It's not a motivation, it's an intimacy."  Kadon

"This thing pretty much gives you Integrity Protecting Piranha..." GM
"Okay, I'm sorry GM, normally I try not to do this, but I have to stop you: Prana."  Kadon
"Piranha?" GM
"Prana."  Kadon
"Prana. ok."  GM
"Not Piranha..."  Kadon
"Those are tiny fish that bite you." Zuko

"Not that I'm hurting in any way as to where to put my hearth stones."  Kadon
"Well we just got some more, you can just shove 'em up your ass.." Zuko

"Unless you wear sun-glasses...... I can just see Kadon going 'deal with it.'.... More importantly, 'It looks like this mans day just got....Exalted.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOHHHHH!'" Zuko

"Stop with the loud typing!" Kadon
"Fuck your face!"  Zuko
"Get a head set?" Kadon
"No, cuz then I can't walk out to the toilet." Zuko
"Get a wireless headset?......... with a mute?" GM
"Cuz then you'll have me going 'guys guys guys... I'm pooping right now.'"  Zuko
"You know he would do it." Ioni
"I would take experience points away." GM
"And he would like take pictures of it and IM it to youa nd say see it looks like.." Ioni
"AHHH he has a fuckin' iPhone, he can do it now if he wants to and don't you fucking dare." GM
"Why haven't you done that to them, Zuko." Ioni
"I'm on it.... Dude let me tell you about this sweet floater... I had corn." Zuko

"Ioni can generate a 5 willpower social effect, and all she has to do is talk to them."  Kadon
"Yes, Ioni  can.  However, the reason she hasn't done that on most of your enemies is cuz.." GM
"THEY DON'T STAY ALIVE!" Ioni - GM dies laughing.
"I just had this mental image of these three great warriors covered in blood and Ioni is in chibi form in the background 'you're killing all my new friends!'" GM

"Did Kadon just fuck the Eye [of Autocthon] for a session?" Zuko

"But I could say, stupify them." Zuko
"Yes you need more opportunities to do that.. you already have... sigh." GM
"If you want, I can unlearn these and go down the Heavens Thunder tree."  Zuko
"Hush..." GM
"Where I automatically win grapples no matter what...  Go down there and wrestle Malfeas around and call him a little bitch." Zuko
"This is what happens when you give Solars 700 XP." GM

"She'll be in conversation with you and suddenly switch languages."  GM
"Why is your girlfriend speaking in tongues." Zuko
"She's not, she's speaking in high holy gobble-de-gook." Mnemia

"And from the other side, you see Scarlet enter." GM
"Oh is she gonna get it later!" Zuko
"Controlling much?" Kadon

"Zuko hangs out with people who do terrible shit when left to their own devices.." Zuko
"I only got high that one time." Ioni
"Yeah, I just got stoned and decided to take upon myself to usurp all of the Solar rule in an attempt to fix them.  It was really good grass." Zuko

"You hear something muffled in exchange."  GM
"It's Batman." Mnemia
"No." GM

"No, that's someone else." GM
"Obviously he's talking about the mailbox he boinked last week." Ioni
"You guys are full of such love." GM
"It's a plushy mail box."  Mnemia
"Give us one reason to be, and maybe we will!" Zuko

"Oh wait, that person.  Why don't we just kill this person now?" Zuko
"Because unlike you, we're not fuckin' sociopaths!"  Kadon
"Hey!  Mnemia is!" Ioni

"Well, reaching him is not an issue with Squirrel phone.  We had a LOTR Game, and we had our communications team, which had Radagast, and we had our own SquirrelNet."  GM

"He's just trying to pull the microphone out of his pants." Ioni
"Entangled cords." Kadon
"So it IS down your pants." GM
"It's really long!  What can I say."  Kadon
"Like sketti!" Zuko
"We're still talking about earphone cords, right?" Kadon
"Fuck you Zuko.  I'm currently ramen..." Mnemia

"You encounter Gavin when you get back to the city and he inquires as to how he can help you." GM
"Stand there, so we can punch you in the face." Ioni

"Saving the world 'n' shit really gets in the way of running a business." Kadon
"I know!" Ioni
"It's really hard to test the product when you're constantly having to run off to save the Universe." GM
"ZIS was making some good headway... and pelvis-way."  Ioni

"All of those are in the building?!" Kadon
"Ioni employs a lot of whores." Zuko
"That is quite the collection you have there.." Kadon
"How much has my collection grown here?" Ioni

"Oh my god, they are all gingers!" Ioni
"People like red-heads..." GM
"There was a reason I liked this place." Kadon
"Plus they have no souls, so who cares." GM

"I'm pretty sure everyone Kadon has ever wyld shaped is a ginger." Kadon
"Wait, does that mean the pregnant women are.... what about the babies?" Ioni
"Did I wyld shape the babies?" Kadon
"You wyld shaped pregnant women." Ioni
"When did he do that?"  GM
"A while ago, we were wondering if he wyld shaped pregnant women if the children would have souls." Ioni
"If they were ginger, by definition they won't." Zuko
"Whore house... go to the whore house!" Mnemia
"Mnemia says through gritted teeth!" GM
"We go get our fuck on, dammit!" Zuko

"You go in..."  GM
"Then we go out." Zuko
"Then we go in, then we go out..." Ioni
"See GM, it's like sex!"  Zuko
"Just a classy operation we run here." GM
"Dude, we put the ass in class." Ioni

"Just the tone of voice was like, that sounds like a psychopath that is set off by music." GM

"Do you have any particular wish for Gavin to go in with you?  He has a wish to stay outside and search the place in case anyone leaves."  GM
"Gavin's just afraid to go inside in case he gets the response Norm gets in Cheers." Mnemia
"No, he's gonna get 'DADDY!'" Zuko
"He doesn't want to get weird ed out by his own children being sex slaves?" Mnemia
"The two are not, in his opinion, mutually exclusive." Kadon
"What if someone goes 'Grandpa-daddy!'?" Ioni
"Perhaps more the whore thing not the child thing." GM
"Oh they are no longer children once they have their period." Ioni
"God... dammit... Ioni." GM
"From a business perspective, if that a net increase or a net decrease in value?" Kadon
"It's an increase because they can still pull off the whole childish look while still being slightly child-bearing-ish.."  Ioni
"Way to follow with the creepy on that, Ioni." Kadon

"We go into the Whore house, grabbing Gavins frequent fucker card." Zuko

"Just a heads out, some dude, coming out, dropping his trouser, doesn't stop us." Mnemia
"Kadon will look but continue." Kadon
"Zuko will look and go 'meh.'" Zuko
"That's not necessarily he drops trou, he strikes the Captain Morgan pose, and it goes PFFT!" GM
"It's an impressive dropping trou but Mnemia will just go on." Mnemia
"Zuko will look at him, then go to Ioni: 'that's all your giving the women to work with?'"  Zuko
"It's not like we can go out and clone you multiple times." Ioni
"Kadon is turned on by the thought of multiple Zukos."  Zuko
"No, not so much." Kadon

"Do you bring ZIS?" GM
"Nope, she's gotta watch the boat." Mnemia
"Somewhere there is ZIS going 'I'm missing something.'" GM

"Well of course..." GM
"Goes a little limp at the thought?" Mnemia
"Like a slide whistle?" Zuko
"Well he is Fae blooded."  GM
"Pat him on the shoulder.  15 minutes, we're a little busy, don't take it personally." Mnemia
"Question is, does it make Mnemia go maybe." Zuko
"Question is, if you have your hearthstone, did patting him on the shoulder just do Agg? THE BURNING! OH GOD!" Kadon

"Thank you for refraining from injuring my product before I can sell it." Ioni
"Always lookin' out for ya." Mnemia

"Whores... we keep looking for whores!" Mnemia

"Hey Kadon, why don't we have you learn Total Annihilation again?" Zuko
"It's full of evil?" Kadon
"Fly by nukes, c'mon!" Zuko
"Over-kill." Kadon
"Not on like, Death Lords!" Zuko
"Ehh... Kadon's making a concerted effort to not be a fight evil kind of guy." Kadon
"That's not evil!  Some times you have to blow up a fuckin' army!" Zuko

As a holy day, Sunday is reserved for Taco Bell

The Hobbit is out!


"There is some part of me that says you need an occasional Taco Bell.  So I've made a rule, Sunday is Taco Bell Day."  GM

"And between the words Chronic and Taco was a giant marijuana leaf." GM
"Ahhh California." Kadon
"Hey, come to Washington.  That shit's legal!" Ioni

"No, going after the Death Lord won't help us going after Lucy any.  More about destabilizing the area and getting the Death Lords to get into some additional conflict with each other as a result.  It's about getting some of those Exaltation prisms and seeing how to break some of those a part."   Mnemia
"Oh bull shit.  You are just wanting to break some one's shit." GM
"He wants to add a Death Lord to his collection." Ioni
"Breaking someone's shit is pretty awesome, but this can be more than breaking someone's shit."  Mnemia
"I'm aware of that.  But what you and Zuko originally came up with was 'Hi, I'm Zuko and this is Mnemia Tya and this is JACKASS!" GM
"Some times destruction is an end of its self, but again, we can be constructive here." Mnemia

"... or can the Alchemical just turn into a boat or something?" Mnemia
"I think that was directed at you GM." Kadon
"I know, I had a mouth full of taco." GM

"We've already pissed Lucy off.  It's not like we can make that significantly worse." Mnemia
"Yeah, that's true." Kadon
"Just sort of warn here 'y'know bitch, we're not going anywhere... here's a soul breaker orb.'" Mnemia
"Or we could just strap her down and force her to watch My Little Pony Friendship is Magic on repeat." Ioni
"What you got against My Little Pony?!" GM
"Nothing!  Just might break her!" Ioni
"Just trying to reinforce the whole magic is friendship thing." GM
"Though I said Friendship is Magic...... not magic is friendship.... GAH! Stop reversing what I say!" Ioni
"I'm so glad I don't know what you're talking about!" Mnemia

"It is a good show!" GM
"But Ioni wouldn't like it because there are no Vampires and incest." Kadon
"That's probably true."  GM

Click for link!
"Y'know Ioni, you've sent a lot of pictures, this is the ... probable the first one that's actually scarred me."  Mnemia
"What... the hell!" Kadon
"That is not what I want to think about whe I see great tits!  So... fuck you Ioni...." Mnemia
"I... is that Patrick Stewart and Bruce Willis?  That is creepy as fuck.  Oh god, go away!" Kadon
"There is a little X button at the top of the screen that will accomplish that for you." GM
"Oh it doesn't just go away.  You can't just click that X button and not see that." Mnemia
Ioni follows with another link.

"Mnemia weren't you the one pointing out 'why are you clicking on those things?'" Ioni
"Can't not click on it when it shows up!" GM
"Normally they're funny.  I don't have the delicate sensibilities as other people at the table... but... that was.." Mnemia
"Screw you too, sir!" GM
"That one was inappropriate, Ioni.  It'd appreciate it if.." Mnemia
"He does not want you to destroy tits."  GM
"That being said, you should share this with Zuko."  Kadon
"Oh he's going to look thorugh this and there is no warning to this post."  Mnemia

"Some of the names that they use for vehicles.. I think really?  I thought we were playing a serious game."  Kadon

"That's just sick and wrong Kadon." GM
"Uhm, I have worked hard to be this sick and wrong." Kadon
"Yeah I know you have." GM
"And to be fair, it could be way sicker and way wronger." Kadon
"Get an alchemical involved." Mnemia

"Despite Zuko promising to be an ass about it, as soon as they come back, Mnemia will tell them about her charm.  When check in time happens." Mnemia

"Basically see if in the 48 hour mark a new issue has been added.... by certain party members.  Namely Zuko." GM
"I HAVE... okay."  Ioni objecting

"And that's how it will go down." Kadon
"You're just jealous I won't go down on you, Kadon." Ioni
"It's true.  I totally am." Kadon
......."Awkward silence....." Ioni
"I would have picked sad or envious... No, not envious... but... uhm..." GM

"I'm sure there are worse... and I don't wanna..." GM
"Oh! I'll find worse for you" Ioni goes link hunting.
"NO!" GM
"I'll find worse for you... link  ... if you click on that link it's your fault!   Something with ample indication you don't want to click on that!" Mnemia
GM Clicks and... "Awww!  That's kind of cute, actually."
Ioni follows with link. And then her piece de resistance!

"Right and in the sense of doing things I'm not proud of, I'm not sure how to take that.... Also, euphemisms are not something I'd expect from the design weavers, just sayin'!" Kadon

"Collect her?  Is she a fuckin' pokemon now?  That gives me an idea for an artifact." Kadon
"You're not going all Ash Catchem on the Games of Divinity, dammit!" GM
"Now now, I'm thinking the poke-ball may be the ideal form of spiritual asshole containment." Kadon
"Cosmic power, itty bitty living space." GM
"Pretty much." Kadon
"Does that mean Robin Williams is a primordial asshole?" GM
"Yes." Ioni

"... build another floor on my tower." GM
"Where is Godzilla when you need him..." Mnemia
"I don't' know where Godzilla is.  There is no Godzilla in this one.  I can dress them up as Godzilla, or frogs... or bees." GM
"Covered in bees!" Kadon

"Couple of cute emails written up at the top with 'My Robots!'.. Here's a question for you.  Is there anything not yours?" GM
"No.  Well, I'm sure there are some things." Mnemia
"I don't think you want to lay claim to all the STDs out there." ioni
"I was about to say, there are 249 other Exalts out there..." GM
"They can't have my robots, they can't have my city, they can't have my artifact..  It's really simple." Mnemia
"Anything he has pissed on, they cannot have." Ioni
"SIGH!" GM
"Oh you know it's true!" Ioni
"That is not entirely inaccurate!" Mnemia

"Wits-Lore?  Good Lord." Kadon
"You're having Lore Jeopardy with ZIS and she's winning!" Ioni

"If you can figure out why she is crying...." Mnemia
"No one told Ioni so Ioni can't have a session with her....  I did not mean to make that sound so sex oriented..." Ioni

"Dude... your girlfriends crazy!" Ioni
"No shit!" Mnemia

"Are we close enough I can spray paint on a wall 'Solars Are Awesome'?" Ioni
"I'm pretty sure, even if it takes a little time, even if the system should be frozen, we don't want to taunt the realm!" Mnemia
"DAMMIT!" Ioni

That would liquify most people!

"Last week on Desperate Housewives: The Exalted edition!" Ioni
"I would think if we were actually the Exalted Desperate Housewives, there'd be a lot more sex and a lot more adultery." GM
"I can only do so much." Ioni
"I meant with the main characters." GM
"I think you mean 'so many'." Kadon
"After a while, it just becomes 'much'." Ioni
"I see, lovers by volume?" Kadon
"Pretty much.  Soon I will have it all streamlined so it's gonna be like a conveyor belt manufacturing of it all."  Ioni

"I guess we will start with Mr. Mnemia and Mrs. Ioni." GM
"When did I get married?" Ioni
"Miss?" GM
"When did Mnemia!?" Zuko
"Ioni wasn't supposed to know, but we can't deny our love any more." Mnemia
"Time to give it up, Ioni." Zuko
"She who will kick all of our asses will kill me!" Ioni
"No no, you're learning to kickbox too.... Mnemia will have a fighting harem." Zuko
"No no no.  I'm not going to be a party to this." Ioni

"I believe the response to that is 'the brain you are looking for is not here'.  Mnemia won't with hold anything but chances are she doesn't know what they want."  Mnemia
"It'd be funnier if you just went 'what was what?'" Zuko

"Dud I saw that sky light and thought I had to drop through that sky light and kill everyone at the bottom.  Didn't care who was at the bottom just had to drop through it."  Mnemia
"Sure worked out good for you guys, huh?" Zuko
"Lucky you." Mnemia

"Mnemia will be helpful.  Just a smart ass about it."  Mnemia

"Most of the stuff you've done in Nexus with Ioni is usually because of Ioni."  GM
"If they don't know who Ioni is then their information network is in drastic need of an overhaul."  Mnemia

"If they're 'meh' with us, you need to fix that.  They need to be 'yessir, right away sir' with us." Mnemia
"Yeah, got a point."  Zuko
"Are you sure you want them to be like that, especially when we have dopplegangers?  That apparently can cut through bureaucracy like no other?" Ioni
"Shut the hell up, Ioni!" GM

"Choking hazard for children under four."  GM
"Ioni will state that."  Ioni
"Let Mnemia have one." Zuko
"Choke her kids with it?" Mnemia
"They are not under 4 anymore."  Ioni
"I'm sure she can get it down there nice and tight." Mnemia

"When you open the box, you're going to see parts.  You're gonna see a single large thing with a picture of a puppy on it." GM
"Alright so this is a puppy.  This is the puppy."  Mnemia
"You don't see any other parts in there so it looks like a puppy." GM

"Just so I know what group of idiots you are cursing today." GM
"The fact that we have to have a discussion of which group of idiots we're referring to..." Zuko

"If they were looking for squirrel girls and they stumbled onto Scarlet, there is a moderate chance they got confused." Zuko
"Maybe..." Kadon
"If your instructions are 'go get the Squirrel Girls' and you stumble on a Scarlet and you're like okay *hit it* and it got back up and your programming went, wait... what the fuck..." Zuko

"The box is sealed, you bring them the box, you begin medical treatment.  It does not take them long before they ask you what they should be doing with this thing." GM
"Have they done anything with them yet?" Kadon
"You only turned your back on them a second but they are holding a pig." GM
"Nice..." Ioni
"Well done." Kadon
"What the fuck was JahJah doing?" Zuko
"They took it out of the box." GM
"She loved fuckin' pigs." Mnemia
"They took it out of the box...." Kadon
"The phrase, I check it over to make sure it hasn't been tampered with.." Zuko
"Would have involved looking in the fucking box!" Kadon

"Have these guys broken into my manse to put shit together?  To solve a fuckin' puzzle?!  Are they like 3!? I don't......" Kadon


"... meet up with Lucy and wreck her shit." Mnemia

"We need to get Luthe back, cuz it's ours." Mnemia
"You're like 2 years old.  MINE!" GM
"It's ours!  Lucy's a bitch." Mnemia
"If the option is us or that C___... It's US!" Zuko

"Now that I've had a drink of water and a piece of pizza in me, lets move on." GM
"So how's that nice greasy meat?" Ioni going for a dick joke
"It only has Canadian Bacon on it!  Cuz the rest of it is cheese, onions, green peppers and, uh...  brain is failing me... the greatest of vegetables - jalapenos - I think that is a vegetable.  I doubt it's a fruit, although... does have seeds... well so do vegetables.  I'm not sure which it is."  GM
"My brain hurts." Ioni

"She's pregnant." Zuko
"No, we are not having more Mnemia spawn!" Ioni
"Mnemia will ask Ophelia why ZIS is crying." Mnemia
"I'm still not sure why you people cry."  GM as Ophelia
"Is this crying thing going to get int eh way of you taking a boat?" Mnemia
"I hope not, otherwise I'll punch myself in the face.  By take a boat we're gonna have violence, right?"  GM as ZIS.
"There are 2 still left, yes." Mnemia
"Yay Violence!  Let's go!" GM as ZIS.

"Mnemia and ZIS are not volunteering anything yet.  Hopefully, Ophelia won't volunteer anything either." Mnemia
"I'm a primordial.. herp herp!" Kadon mimicking Ophelia
"If she does, maybe that will get us through customs faster." Mnemia
"Or they may think she's a crazy person." GM
"No more breaking clocks!" Mnemia

"Why do they want the Councils hole?" Zuko
"Dammit Zuko!  The whole council." GM
"Oh fuck you, I can't be the only person who heard that." Zuko
"You're not." Mnemia

"Mnemia is the least likely to convince anyone of doing anything, especially if hurting them doesn't help."  Mnemia

"So Ioni will pull up a chair and ask 'so what are you going to invade us with?  An army of ants?  Well ants can be terrifying... an army of flour?'  Yeah, Ioni will ask that." Ioni
"The good old Ioni strategy of confuse the hell out of them." GM
"Confuse the shit out of the GM and see what happens." Ioni

"ZIS kicked one of these guys into unconsciousness.  How nasty can they be?!" Mnemia
"Yes but that's a Solar!.... Celestial.... Abyssal... whatever.  Just because you don't give a shit about anything any more that's under Essence 3... doesn't mean the majority of people that live here don't..." GM

"I know Mnemia will shrug off a cannonball to the face.  Consider it a light breeze.  Most people, that will liquify!" GM

"And my entire unit one can go swimming in lava." Zuko
"It be useful!" Ioni
"I'm sure certain members of your party would be like, you want us to jump in the what!?" GM
"At which point I'd ask ZIS, 'can you please push them." Ioni
"But it's lava!" GM
"Smack Aboshi because apparently she hasn't trained these people enough to listen to what we have to say.  Then push."  Mnemia
"I believe GM said 'members of the party.'" Zuko
"Still smack Aboshi.  It's always a good option." Mnemia
"I agree, I'm just sayin' - I'm also trying to figure out which one he was referring to cuz Zuko's already to do something that stupid." Zuko

How to start a fight... drop your pants.

The New Super Mario WiiU Review:
"The Box God can giveth, and tap under you so you don't die.  But the Box God can taketh away and put a box right in front of you so you can fall down and die.  'I am ever your servant Box God, please look after and take care of me.'" Zuko


"I picked up my mic and I got electrocuted... or electorcvibed or zapped..." Kadon
"Why would you do that to yourself?" Zuko
"I... fuck you." Kadon

"Did you successfully bust pants from gorging?"  Zuko
"I exercised moderation.  I know it's weird and wrong.. but." Kadon
"That's un-american!" Zuko
"I recognize this."  Kadon
"Communist."  Zuko

"Kadon has been to Cafe Mox while he was here.  Even if he did have to throw away his dental dams unnecessarily." Zuko
"I'm gonna choose not to comment." GM

"Any utterance of the Exalts name becomes obvious to his senses as does the identity of the individual - Omniscient Ears Approach" Mnemia
"Wow, this is a Death Lords Ability." GM
"Oh I'm gonna mess with Mnemia once I learn about this.  Gonna pay every one of Ioni's whores to shout her name during sex.  Mnemia's just sitting there, eating a sandwich all of the sudden, what the fuck? Oh...  God dammit."  Zuko
"Go find the particularly kinky ones.  It's like 'I was eating here, I didn't need.... ahhh!'" GM
"That more be like with the dudes.." Zuko

"Kadon is beside himself giggling." Ioni
"That's not me." Kadon
"Is She who will kick all of us to smithereens sitting next to you?" Zuko
"That's She who will kick all of us to smithereens."  Mnemia
"I didn't know I sounded like Kadon!" She who will kick all of us to smithereens
"I'm sorry!  I didn't think you were there, so I just automatically assumed it was Kadon cuz the other 3 guys weren't giggling." Ioni
"WHAT THE HELL!?" Kadon
"Horrbly funny.  You couldn't have sounded more like and angry bitch if you tried!" Zuko
"We are the very best group of friends aren't we." GM
"Oh She who will kick all of us to smithereens misses us very much." Zuko
"I actually thought it was a very giddy Mnemia." GM

"The end of Evangelion laughing." Mnemia
"Yes, you're very funny.  ha. ha. ha." Kadon
"So much anger.... Residual anger!" Ioni

"... I go to my happy place, which is Zuko's old apartment." GM
"Why is Zukos old apartment your happy place?" Ioni
"To be fair, I soiled most of GM's place." Zuko
"You soiled most of his apartment....." Ioni
"I had to mark my territory over there." Zuko

"These three hyenas were going to spread herpes across the walls of my condo." Zuko
"No no no... not herpes... Just semen." Zuko
"I seem to specifically recall naming herpes by name." GM
"Kadon might have said herpes, but that is Kadon's problem." Zuko

"I'm also considering, how would you pick one out of a crowd.  Cuz it's not like you fuckers aren't famous in Nexus right now." GM
"Well maybe he can just kind of tune that portion out and just direct it to all of the screaming women who are currently being plowed by strange dicks." Ioni
"Now that wen in an interesting and frightening direction." GM
"Which part of it was interesting and which part of it was frightening?" Zuko
"Pretty much all of it frightening.  Interesting in the statement of Oh Wow, it went that way, I didn't expect it to go that way.  Why did it go that way?" GM
"Alright fine, all of the men screaming as they are being penetrated by strange dicks... are you happy?" Ioni
"Uhhh...kaaaay..." GM

"I can chill in Nexus.  I don't really feel like watching over their shoulders while they are smart." Zuko

"As I recall that you had gone back to Nexus with Scarlet to work on stuff, that Ioni had jumped back and forth between Nexus and Chiaruscuro to check her whore houses, Mnemia was being a Mom for a change, and Kadon was touching things he probably shouldn't be touching."  GM

"First things first, we gotta go drinking.  Can't be a good parent unless you're an alcoholic." Zuko

"It's worth extra credit.  And not the other kind of extra credit where you have to spend and evening at the Deans house."  Zuko
"The food is always good." Kadon
"Yeah, if its food." Ioni
"Chow.... down..." Kadon
"Euuuhhhh that was creepy." GM

"Some people are in to tentacles." Ioni
"Usually the other way around." GM

"You are forced to sit and wait for some time." GM
"No no no.. We choose to wait patiently." Kadon
"We do?" Zuko
"If we don't wait patiently, we choose to go in there and deal with it now." Mnemia

"The NPC is going to come up with a loophole cuz he knows he can't say no to us, so he doesn't get into trouble." Zuko

"I'll hand him a business card and a cookie." Ioni
"A business card?" GM
"It says 'move along'." Ioni
"I thought it would say 2 for 1." Zuko
"That's what I was expecting.  Not the Kit Kat from Hudson Hawk cards." GM

"I make it to the door and we discover it has wings?  The silence better not be yes." Ioni
"You should really refrain from giving him ideas." Kadon
"I don't need yo' charity!  I got plenty of books with ideas right here." GM
"Don't need your charity.  I just need the charity from other authors." Zuko
"I'm not sure where to begin on how sad that whole line of thinking is." Kadon
"Given how it affects how much XP we get, I vote you don't!" Zuko

"I am assuming Operation 'Say my name, bitch' has not been implemented yet." GM
"True, I think I am going to have to have Ioni go around the towns and make Mnemia a curse word." Zuko
"That's like giving Mnemia her own youtube channel with just the sound.  She has to hear all the shit that happens to people."  GM

The Idea:
"We need to find these motherfuckers.  The range on Kadon's Essence sight is yes.  The range of his vision is holy fucking shit. I vote, I stealth Kadon, Mnemia grabs Kadon, throws him up in the air, with a bit of a spin, he doesn't blink for 6 seconds, he takes it all in, we catch him.  He goes into memory and goes drlrlrlrlrlrlr! And scans the shit out of it and Enhance.... Enhance....." Zuko
"I like that plan." Kadon

"18... 36.  When I exert myself." Kadon on Awareness charms
"Fuck you sir.  Fuck you right in the face.  That is still and insanely good roll." Zuko
"You make baby Jesus cry."  GM

"As I thought this up, I was like, we have to come up with a name for this cuz I have a feeling we're gonna do this a lot." Zuko
"The Surveillance Satellite?  The Manned Drone.... Oh man, I can't believe I am going to say this about myself.... but...  The Predator Drone, clearly." Kadon
"Unseen Predator Drone." Zuko

"Once we've been here for 20 years, the rate of inflation is just gonna go through the roof!" Mnemia

"Do we wish to go and commence Mega-Death?" Zuko

"Real quick question, how high did you go?" GM
"Not high enough to leave the bubble." Kadon
"Alright, cuz that would have been funny." GM
"No, no it wouldn't." Kadon
"That would have involved us looking at each other going ... huh.... We're screwed.  That would have been, you threw, you fetch it bitch." Zuko

"No, bad Kadon. Stoppit! *snap*" GM
"Did you just snap at Kadon?" Ioni
"He's like a puppy!" GM

"These are insanely creepy monstrosities, how are they mingling with the crowd?" Zuko

"Oh dear lord GM, the amount of times that people masquerading as us have just gone in and demanded stuff and got it.... if you stymie us from doing it, I will end you!" Zuko

"You come into the room, they tell you to stop." GM
"Hehehehe... so who wants to dance." Zuko
"Things that aren't going to happen, Part One." Kadon

"The re-incarnae thingy thingy of the black... Ebon Dragon.." Ioni (Everyone but Ioni was confused, don't worry.)
"... WHAT?" Zuko
"Oh God bless you Ioni." GM
"What did she just say?" Zuko
"Wouldn't the thingy thingy of the Ebon Dragon be a demi-urge?" Ioni
"No!  The fetich soul of the Ebon Dragon would be a 3rd circle demon trapped in Malfeas - Okay, I think she believed they were searching for the fetich soul of the Ebon Dragon, and that obviously it was one of the council members." Zuko
"Or trying to collect the demi-urges before we can get to them." Ioni
"Yeah, I'm not so sure on that." Zuko
"There was a leap of logic there... Possibly a suicidal leap of logic." Kadon
"I've got traction!  I'm clawing my way back up the cliff.  I'm sorry, I had a real life botch in my brain.  It happens." Ioni
"Uhm... my .... my brain!" GM
"Ow.... that hurt my brains!  Ow.... well boys, if you see my penis, try to distract it with some cheese.... ow..." Zuko

"You could go for the confusion angle and drop your pants." Mnemia

"I can have 21 extremities in total to flick."  Zuko

"Well then, there's really only one thing... I'll take a half step back... well then... I will drop my pants - Distracting Finger gesture technique!" Zuko

"As you recall, I once dangled my crotch out of the back of an airship as it left an undersea hangar, that was being swarmed with a fuckin' Underworld Army." Zuko
"Yeah, cuz it was fuckin' funny!" GM
"It's still pretty funny." Kadon

"As I move forward, I unhook my belt, cuz... look, I know how to get out of these pants really quick.... Onto a handstand and the shirt falls off over my face as I'm doing this, but it's kinda thin and I have heat vision so I'm good... and my legs will bend down, grab the seat of my pants from my ass and then straighten themselves up, pulling my pants up, letting my dick flop out and I will start helicoptering that shit.  In their direction."  Zuko stunting.
"I have never been more glad to not be in combat." Kadon
"Gonna be like, very well, let me allow you to leave with the ceremonial gesture of my people." Zuko
"What the fuck.... siiiiiiiiiiigh Why God.... why...." GM

I don't think anyone expected that move" GM
"True, no one expects the Zuko's dick inquisition!  See the weird thing is... Not that I'm starting combat with my penis.  It's more the fact that this isn't the first time this character has started combat with his penis." Zuko

"Incidentally we should send someone around to collect the pieces of the Evil 4 dot artifact." Kadon
"The what?" Mnemia

"I think that's a two dice stunt... My brain just stopped listening." GM

"19 successes.." Ioni
"...." GM
"It could be worse, it could be 32." Kadon
"Dammit!" GM

"Not killing people is hard" Mnemia

"I task someone to go find Batman.  Batman can find things, go get Batman." Kadon
"That's not his name!" GM

"When you kill him, he moves a lot for a dead man." GM

"I'm sorry, but the brain you are looking for is not here right now." Mnemia

Just ironing the silver-ware.

"Yeah it heard GM rev up for a long explanation and it said 'nope... not gonna put up with this'."  Mnemia

"I understand the words coming out of your mouths.  I just don't agree with them." Mnemia

"I strongly disagree with that statement on its face!" Kadon

"The more artefacts that have 'suck it' in their description, I approve of."  Zuko

"Visions of air dropping war striders with dragon bloods and GM just going 'oh god...'" Kadon

"We should avoid doing that cuz it's dumb!" Kadon

"Put your pants back on, Ioni!" GM
"My pants are on.  They are fuzzy.  Why would I take my pants off while you guys are yammering?" Ioni

"It's akin to me showing up in your house one night, shaking you awake and asking why the mayonnaise has gone bad." GM
"Cuz we don't use mayonnaise much." Ioni

"I think if you could pick all the nuclear fall out as an option, we would use it a whole lot more." Zuko

"Nice?"  GM
"Nice for Mnemia.  She's not killing her kids with peony blossom is she?" Ioni

"If he's willing to lighten the 100 year old requirement for Essence 6, you'll sit in his lap!" Zuko

"Ioni will be all fo rhtis, pull out the nail polish and wine.  Bitch Session!  Not sure why there has to be nail polish."  Ioni
"I will go cry in a corner." Zuko

"On another note, I have no fucking clue what this lunar stone should do." Kadon
"Fuck puppies." Ioni

"Zuko's pants came off!" Zuko
"Zuko, put your pants back on." Ioni
"Don't know what you're talking about.  I'm stealthed." Zuko

"Zuko would be more than happy to smack [the Sidereals] silly.  Even Mnemia would be happy to smack them silly."  Ioni
"Psst... Mnemia stabs, she doesn't smack." Zuko
"I know!" Ioni

"I forget, did we ever tell Lytek about bagels?" Zuko

"If I wyldshape pregnant women and bring them into Creation, will their babies have souls."  Kadon

"By and large, she had a penis."  GM

""The two of you were murder bro's." GM

"We'll owe that guy a drink when he arrives." Zuko
"Will it or will it not kill him." GM
"To be determined." Ioni

"Please stay on the line, your cataclysm is important to us.  There are FIVE beings of immesurable power before you." Zuko

"Stop telling us what we already know.  Stop." Mnemia

"Safeguarded against Solars.  Keep distance." GM

"HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF CHESS?
/find demiurge.cpp -r
Error 404 - Demiurge not found."  Zuko
"Http://google.com?search=demiurge" Kadon
"Ping UnconquereSun.incarnae.us Cuz the UCS is in 'MURICA!" Zuko

"Format://DesignWeaver*.*" Zuko

"As soon as I get out of the eye pod here." Kadon
"Awww, that makes Zuko sad.  Bad, bad Kadon" Zuko
"Terrible pun, I know." Kadon
"Apparently I don't get it." GM

*Kadon makes a failed gobble noise.*
"You raped my ears." Ioni
"I didn't mean to?  Maybe it was legitimate." Kadon

Why is Kadon so wordy!?

Hey All,

The quotes are going a little slow this week.  Mostly cuz I discovered the obscure mixture of work and kickboxing that causes insane lethargy.

In other news, everyone should watch/support the amazing awesome sauce that is Gamers 3: Hands of Fate.  It's produced by a local Seattle group, Zombie Orpheus Entertainment, who also happened to throw a con... why?  Cuz why the hell not!

These guys have made:
Gamers
Gamers II: The Dorkness Rising
Journey Quest 

And other shows easily watched on the youtubes.

-Ioni

_________________________________

"Why is your room mate busy?" GM
"Because he is getting naked and doing his naked dance." Ioni
"Okay, I did not need to have that information." GM

"We were at a con.  You have to do the ritualistic con-detox afterwards." Ioni

"I hung out with the Gamers people.  Got drunk with the Gamers people...  Saw titties with the Gamers people..." Zuko

"And ioni pulls out her dice and I was like, oh this will not end well." Zuko

"Scot C. Brown, the guy who plays Leo is the only one of the group of them to actually go through the full drinking game rules as written.  I asked the guy who plays Gary, and he's like 'Oh gods no!! Scott's the only one who got to do that because he's a raging alcoholic.'  When I told Scott that I only got through the first 20 minutes, he put his hand on my shoulder and said 'then you must train harder.'"  Zuko

"You're incomprehensible." Kadon
"Your mom's incomprehensible." Zuko

"All I had was one glass of something, a shot of something and a sip of something else." GM on 'Going out Drinking'
"You and I have very different definitions of drinking.  And mine is kind of light." Ioni

"I heard tequila, something and 151..." GM
"Alright, that's it!  Fuck Skype!" Zuko

"Last time Zuko made Mercury cry." GM
"And he felt good about it." Ioni
"To be fair, she is a girl." Kadon

"Ioni, cuz she is a hotline straight to the Unconquered Sun.  Mnemia cuz her past incarnation used your own children as manse parts..." GM
"I think at one point Mnemia thinks that's all kids are good for as well." Mnemia
"Considering you have the little creepy children who we really should just kill for manse parts." Ioni

"The difference being Raxin  Hsen didn't have to carry his spare parts for a year." Mnemia

"As for Kadon.. well.." GM
"It's not [Kadon IRL] so much as Kaodn... Errr... Karum.. GOD DAMMIT you're both the same in my head!" Ioni

"Assuming she never gets mad at anyone, and never does something she would regret.  You're right, we are perfectly safe so long as the Incarnae act in a completely rational and proper behavior." Zuko
"To be fair, they pretty much largely have." Kadon
"Until they get addicted to the Game!" Zuko

"And then completely bypassing that question and asking what happened to our friend that's not really there anymore but went off on someplace else." Ioni
"Ok.  Time out... just really quick.  So I take it, I had the conversation with Kadon and Mnemia about this.  While we were gone, did Ioni just get really fucking high or take a lot of blows to the head?" Zuko
"It is Nexus.  I think the last time you left her alone in Nexus she got high and drugged on Bright morning."  GM
"I did?" Ioni
"Yeah, you were seeing things for a while." GM
"Those were perfectly legitimate things!" Ioni

"What ever happened to Aboshi?" Ioni
"Seriously?" Zuko
"Cuz someone told me she is being detained in Malfeas against her will." Ioni
"Who.!" Zuko
"A mutual friend?" Ioni
"Whoooo.!" Zuko
"A powerful mutual friend?" Ioni
"Whoooo...?" Zuko
"Oh he just works at an Embassy, don't worry about it." Ioni
"I see."  Kadon catches on.
"How did you get this information?" Zuko
"It's amazing what happens when you talk to people and go out for a cup of tea!" Ioni
"Right." Zuko
"I stepped away to reheat burritos.  What did she say?" Mnemia cuts in sharply
"I don't know why that was funny, but a mental image of Mnemia rolling back in the room with a fuckin' burrito." Kadon

"No no no no!  See, you set up some whores and that's good.  I don't think you've gotten any into Malfeas yet." Zuko
"No, I didn't." Ioni.
"So where does this info come from?" Zuko

"I'm pretty sure we do, cuz Ioni's not smart enough to know who Virumipra is." Zuko

"One issue on that..." Ioni
"Oh?" Kadon
"She may be with a little royalty. And her party may have wigged out." Ioni

"They may be in a bit of hot water due to companions not behaving like companions anymore." Ioni
"Three more euphemisms and I am punching something.  Just Sayin'!  Mnemia, get the sword out!" Zuko

"Shouldn't be more than a few minutes." Kadon
"What.!?" Zuko
"Recovering them." Kadon
"How...." Zuko
"Magic!" Kadon

"Well the problem with that is if her party member Judy Dench is acting up, maybe she doesn't want that person to come back with her, but that person still needs to be pulled out due to well, royalty having their way with them." Ioni
"Yes...." Kadon
"WHAT?!"  Zuko

"And the queen bitch!" Zuko
"No, wrong royalty." Ioni
"Then which fucking royalty are we talking about!?" Zuko
"Uh slightly lower tier, the spawn of Queen?" Ioni
"Oh lovely." Kadon
"The worst fucking idea ever!" Zuko
"We are talking about Green Princes, right?" Ioni

"GM!  You're fuckin' fired for sending the information through this!  Like, fuck you sir!" Zuko on Ioni
"Yeah, uh, Ioni doesn't get to talk to people alone anymore." Kadon

"Look, I don't want to be the dick here, but you're getting the information from there.  Kind of confused how.  You can't summon anything!" Zuko
"I didn't summon anything?  I just had tea!  Again! you miss the purpose of tea!" Ioni

"It's time for a little Malfeus Interuptus." Kadon
"Yeah, let's fuckin' do it.... Oh Jesus." Zuko

"So what do you do." GM
"Obviously keep away from Zuko so he doesn't hit me." Ioni
"Don't think distance matters." GM
"Well it makes Ioni feel better!" Ioni
"Are you within a mile..." Zuko

"You can't tell if I'm speaking Rat or Squirrel.  The languages are similar!" Zuko

"So J'paffing every single one of you people." Zuko

"Out of curiosity... what do you tell them?" GM
"Sup..." Zuko

"Personally, I'm down with the cover story : Kadon's about to do something incredibly stupid.  So really no matter what happens that should cover us." Zuko
"By us, you mean you, Mnemia and maybe Ioni." GM

"Your room mate really fucked you up and not in a good way." Ioni
"Little barf machines decided 'hey, his stuff doesn't belong ot her, that's perfectly ok to throw up on!!'" GM
"So pets will punish you if you are a dick to them." Mnemia
"I was never a dick.... I only threw something at one of them once.  I was like fuck it!  You can't do anything worse to me than you already are.." GM
"Your just inability to learn is just... mind boggling sir... Believe me, there is just noe end to what cats can do that will ruin your life." Zuko

"So if anything goes wrong, we can blame it on a training exercise." Zuko

"Kadon is a training exercise." Zuko
"Especially for my new employees." Ioni
"Apparently I have been having fun and missing it again!" Kadon
"They haven't been using ribbons to keep track either." Ioni

"Y'know, College Co-eds can be forgetful" Ioni
"Too busy putting themselves through college." Kadon
"So don't be surprised if you start seeing yourself in the next generation." Ioni
"NO!" Zuko

"Last thing we need is a bunch of Kadon half cast running around." Zuko

"Look, one way or another, I am going to see myself in the next generation.  It's just going to take some time." Kadon
"And it may also be your daughter." Ioni
"No.  The great thing about a photographic memory is its easy to keep track of!" Kadon
"What if you never see her." Ioni
"Then... fuck!  I need to invent a charm I think." Kadon
"Unfortunately essence sight doesn't do that for ya!  It's not Maury Pauvich sight!" Zuko

"Infallible not fuck my daughters." Kadon
"Incest mendicant spirit."  Zuko

"So Zuko and Kadon come up with goofy names for charms that could avoid incest....  GM goes 'better ways around it!' "Zuko
"It's my job!" GM
"How can I allow for daddy banging!" Zuko

All it takes is 12 successes and we have the attention of the Unconquered Sun. AWESOME!

Next week the quotes may be delayed a bit.  Ioni and Zuko are off to ZOEcon and will be finding new games there to play.  This con is put on by the fabulous makers of Gamers, Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising, and Journey Quest.   Even if you don't live in the US, these people are awesome!


_________________________

"Mnemia, why didn't you tell me the super important news?" Zuko
"Super... important... news..." Mnemia slightly confused
"A taco bell opened on University." Zuko
"What?" Kadon

"Their flavor sauces will make your brain shut off.  And make your intestinal tract get furious... with sudden explosions." Zuko
"That's how I usually categorize McDonalds, but okay...." GM
"You also categorized McDonalds as a place to go have sex." Ioni
"When the hell did I do that?!" GM
"Yeah, I don't remember that." Kadon
"You have the transcript." Zuko
"Yeah, I do have the transcript." Ioni
"Fuckin' Obama his ass!  GM, you just go Romney'd!" Zuko

"My buddy got a call from the Romney supporters.  He kept the guy on the line for forty minutes like acting like a true undecided... I was like 'why the fuck could you stand to be on the phone for that long?' he's like 'That's forty minutes he's not talking to someone who could be swayed by that bullshit!'" Zuko

"How is transformer sex game, people." Zuko
"No sex." Mnemia
"That's disappointing." Ioni
"Some transforming." Kadon
"I don't think you're running your game right...." Zuko

"The game made more progress than the last time we played.  Though not for lack of trying on the part of the players."  Mnemia

"Ioni can have the one about tree warriors.  She can make a forest army that fucks people." Zuko
"that's a lot of wood." Ioni

"The previous statements are not intended to inspire culpability in any creature of darkness." Zuko

"If this audit will continue, Zuko will form a Friends of Punching Gaving in the Face Super Pac." Zuko on the list of reasons to punch Gavin in the face audit.
"Must not thinking about elections.... must not think about elections!" GM
"Pretty sure Reaper would invest." Zuko
"How do you figure." GM
"Cuz... it's Gavin!" Zuko
"Pretty sure she would punch you." GM
"Yeah, but Gavin is someone she would succeed in punching in the face." Zuko

"Yeah, my objection to that is a meta objection of 'don't split the party.'"  Kadon
"I totally agree, but we're currently split anyways." zuko
"Fair enough." Kadon
"Is splitting the party in this way going to fuck us?" Zuko
"Not that I'm aware of." GM
"Okay then, go ahead and do that, and if GM throws a campaign ending combat at us, we'll beat the shit out of him." Zuko
"So we all go over to California to beat up the GM?" Ioni
"I cold use a little sun.  Very little." Zuko

"Mnemia, remember the last time you went to California to beat up the GM?" Zuko
"... I have not gone to LA to beat up the GM." Mnemia
"Well see then, you haven't lived, Brother." Zuko

"Also, we need to get Kadon on those prayer wheels and redirect some of those prayers to us." Zuko
"Now I'm paying attention, what?!" GM

"And if the Unconquered Sun notices and comes down, so much the better." Zuko
"Says the guy who stole the alternator from his car!" GM
"It's like the scheme in Office Space.  We're only taking pennies." Mnemia
"Yeah!  Fractions of pennies even!" Zuko
"I seem to recall..." GM
"That it worked?" Kadon
"They would have been caught if the office hadn't burned down." GM
"Unlike them, I can't botch." Kadon
"Also, the instant the Unconquered Sun functions half as well as our pound you in the ass prison system?  Both of our problems are solved!" Zuko

"Zuko is willing to have the Unconquered Sun kill him, if it means he fixes fucking creation and saves it from all this shit we're having to do in his name.  Because at that point, he will have set up the reincarnation engine!" Zuko

"We are going to have the kids checked... for STDs." Mnemia
"GAVIN!" Zuko
"Dude, you assume a great many things about him... NO!" GM

"All the squirrel girls are equipped with chastity belts." Zuko
"Since when?!" GM
"Since I'm not around." Zuko
"I'm fairly certain in the grand scheme of things who probable would have thought of that plan was Scarlet, and I'm talking about the entire group here.  Okay, maybe Ioni." GM
"They're not mine to play with!" Ioni
"That's right, they're mine!" Zuko
"Wow... that's the first time I've heard that from a PC." GM

"Ioni, take an XP for amusing me - first one who hasn't tried to take possession of a gaggle of females, amusing... particularly in your line of work." GM

"Gavin is going to request the same test as the girls since he was an orphan." GM
"He wants to be checked for STDs because he's an orphan?!" Ioni
"God dammit Ioni! Don't make me take that XP away!" GM

"Alright, the Unconquered Sun is riding a Chocobo." Zuko

"... The chocobo is .... Luna." Kadon
"Potentially" GM
"He's got a specialty." Kadon
"True, he does." Zuko
"To ride Luna?" GM
"Yes" Kadon and Zuko

"Greatest entry into an RPG ever... if it had Ride: your mom..." Zuko

*Cat horking in the back ground.*
"It's a vision!" GM
"Your cat has seizures to a beat!" Zuko
"Those were the cats?!" Ioni
"Have to assume so." GM
"That's one of 'em sneezing." Mnemia
"Oh my god, I thought it was something else." Ioni
"What the fuck kind of noise that was human produced do you think that could have been!?" Zuko
"Somebody needed lube." Ioni
"what the fuck!?" Zuko
"What!?" GM
"Oh god..." Kadon
"Ioni, I know...... y'know, I just don't wanna go there.... Just...... learning new shit about Kadon every day." Zuko
"WHAT?!" Kadon
"Things I didn't need to know." GM
"And now you get to picture them." Ioni
"Trying not to!" GM

"Well, let's go piss off an entire Bureau of Heaven." Zuko

"Mnemia's here!" GM
"Yeah, that's not going to make things better." Mnemia

"Oddly enough, of the group, Ioni is not the attractive one!" Ioni
"Also [Zuko] sparkles... just sayin." Kadon
"Someone kill it with Fire." Ioni
"Give if your best shot baby!" Zuko
"I'm asking someone else to kill it with fire... Mnemia?" Ioni
"He holds things still so it's easier for me to kill thins with fire so, probably not." Mnemia
"I'm the one who has the fire, but I'm not there." Kadon

"It doesn't have to be a long journey.  It could be around the Eastern Grove, looking for a four leaf clover." Mnemia
"Alright, we will go on a journey in the Eastern Grove.  We will play follow the leader where the leader is Mercury." Zuko

"Kadon wyld shapes a pub crawl!" Zuko

"I grab the nearest street urchin.  What day is this!?" Zuko
"Hahahaha...ha...  It's the day it should be." GM

"Cuz those troops gotta know when they out there, they earning her motha' fuckin' money.  Now that's a lot of Bitch-merc." Zuko
"Wow, I didn't realize the entire crew is a bunch of pimps and Ioni is the only really Vanilla of the lot of you." GM
"How am I pimpin'?" Zuko
"Squirrel Girls." Kadon and Mnemia
"I'm not pimpin' them out!" Zuko
"Just keepin the ho's to yourself." Kadon
"no no no no, that makes me a playa!  not a pimp!" Zuko

"Sinze they aren't really people, cuz they're dead inside, cuz they are prostitutes, can Zuko steal them?" Zuko
"No - that is some interesting... - "GM
"To be fair, I was allowed to steal a child." Zuko
"Precedence!  Precedence!" Mnemia
"See, this is why I'm always a little nervous about doing that shit." GM
"And no one will notice for like five minutes, I can be done in five minutes." zuko
"Scarlet may have an issue." Ioni
"Just sayin' if I have to, I can.  Not that he normally does." Zuko

"Maybe my price is not money." Ioni
"Mhm." GM
"She's just looking for a really good lay." Kadon
"No, I'm looking for something a little more lasting than that." Ioni
"A reallly... REALLY... good lay." Zuko
"Well there's a shop down the street that sells vibrators.. I'm just..." Kadon
"A little more long lasting than that." Ioni
"Okay, back to the workshop then!" Kadon

"Zis should not go into the 9 fold manse in general." Kadon
"Oh?" GM
"On account of the ticking ag..." Kadon
"That might be problematic." GM
"Maybe she likes that feeling... gets her ready for Mnemia." Ioni
"Wow...  Now Ioni needs to craft a book about foreplay." GM

"If she wants to call me back and disembugger herself..." Kadon
"I though Kadon was in the buggering business." Zuko
"Only so many at a time." GM

"Really, the question you ought to be asking Kadon is, what's your boggle." Zuko

"Sup!?" Zuko addressing a Maiden
"What part of not fully trusting the group do you not fully understand?" GM as the Maiden.
"Maybe you don't fully comprehend is that my group is fully trustworthy and you said 'okay, I'll meet with them'"  Zuko

"Kadon, if there is something going on that I'm missing?  Or just not getting??  IM me or tell me something!" Zuko after Kadon starts clearing his throat.

"You dont' want the Abyssal here?  Okay fine." Zuko
"The Abyssal is the least of my concerns." GM
"Oh please say it was Ioni...." Ioni
"Is it the Slut?!" Zuko
"Uh Zuko, your communicator is on." Kadon
"Ioni will object for 5 minutes before saying oh wait, that is me." Ioni
"One of your party is getting really good at sending messages to your patron." GM
"It is the slut!" Kadon

"Okay, between you and me, she's not really smart enough to understand this plan anyways.  Point is i'm not smart enough to figure out these plans, so I kinda need the nerd!" Zuko

"Out of character, to take what appears to be significant plot point provided by the story teller and killing it, seems a little rude." Mnemia
"I'm just sayin' there's no way this turns out good for us." Zuko
"No it doesn't - unless we make them all out bitches." Mnemia

"Mnemia's kids were supposed to be under out thumbs, they jumped up to essence 4, started murdering puppies and learning necromancy the instant we were gone - these girls are just going to wake up at Essence 9 one day and go ... causality... wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Zuko

"I'm sorry, who brought he kids back? Gavin... this is all Gavins fault." Zuko
"Another thing to the punch list." Ioni

"As far as she knows nothing can be in Oblivion... Although she's heard interesting rumors." GM
*Group breaks down into laughter*
"Nothing can come out of Oblivion... Plenty of shit can go to Oblivion." Zuko
"Hey, we did it!" Kadon
"Seriously." Zuko
"We did that shit 300XP ago!  C'mon!  Man up, Maiden!" Kadon

"Huh?  You're not talking to the nerd, Mercury...  You specifically wanted to talk to me cuz I'm the dumb one." Zuko

"That's right, Sass the deity... This can't possibly go wrong" Kadon
"Whatever, eventually I'll get ghost eating technique and kill her." Zuko

"Let's just say we have enough issues in the world we don't need to open that particular box." GM
"I got a wikipage I can show you that will prove to you that yes, I know exactly how many issues we have!" Zuko
"Don't know what a wiki page is, but Kadon keeps talking about them..." Kadon

"You're forgetting the important thing.  All Ioni needs is 12 successes on a prayer roll, and the Unconquered Sun listens.  Do you have any idea how easy it is for her to get that?" Zuko
"It's more like, you're distracting me, fine, here's your bauble." GM
"Alright, if we're the annoying fly in his ear I'm fine with that, Okay fine, here's the god spear. Blow up this thing" Zuko
"Where's the Death Lord?" Ioni
"Yeah can we be like Thorns, thorns... thorns... thorns..." Zuko
"Would you shut up about thorns already!  BOOM!"  Kadon
"Ioni, we are getting you a cult, and we are just sitting you in a room to just pray and get our problems solved." Zuko

"That's our new game plan, and after it's ... Silver prince... Silver Prince... Silver Prince..." Zuko

"Will you take us to splash mountain?!" Zuko
"Well we figured that out, I am useful once again!" Ioni
"Suddenly this mountain flew out of the sky towards Nexus." GM
"Did it go splash!?" Kadon
"I'm just sayin' I think we have figured out how to solve all problems from here on out." Zuko
"If I can see it coming, I can perfect parry it." Mnemia
"Out of curiosity is dropping a mountain a wyld shaping effect?" Kadon
"No, pretty sure that's a straight up thrown." GM

"So if you say Zuko zuko zuko zuko over and over again.... 50% chance he will do something good." Mnemia

"The next moment she is curled up in a ball bawling." GM
"Is it that time of the month for her!?" Ioni
"You literally made a god cry." Kadon
"Really fighting the urge not to j'paff just to get one in." Zuko

Panty blossom the room!!!

"I thought about the game all week!" GM
"Yes, you spent the whole week thinking of how to kill us with your penis." Ioni
"Such a perfect response to that." Mnemia
"Ioni, sweetie...  you don't need to take out penis hatred on the rest of us." Zuko

After Ioni links the previous weeks quote of the GM killing the group with a phallus.
"Oh, okay.  I just always assumed GMs penis was phallic shaped." Zuko
"Y'know there is another quote that says you're pretty aware of what GMs penis looks like." Mnemia
"Hence my point - look, you guys expect me to remember shit from a week ago.  That's just not fair." Zuko

"My bad, I thought Ioni said she was going to cut back on fantasizing about Kadon" Zuko
"Uh, that's gonna be hard to do." Ioni
Long silence
"Okay, I got my pants off now." Kadon
"Information the rest of us did not need." GM
"And yet you wanted it." Zuko

"My boobs are offended." Ioni
"Why?" Zuko
"By what?" Kadon
"I don't know."  Ioni
"oh nah, I'm just going to walk away form this.  this is going no where good... unless it is." Kadon

"Boobs don't expire Ioni.  Actually that's wrong." Kadon
"I thought I had shared pictures of where they had" Ioni
"I realized and I recant my previous statement.  All the more reason to share them now." Kadon
"Yeah, no!  Not gonna happen!" Ioni

On Cloud Atlas
"Is this gonna be a movie with a lot of stupid people going 'I just couldn't follow it!'" Zuko
"Yes" Kadon
"Sonovabitch." Zuko

"Looks like we can start turning out the industrial powered dildo." Zuko
"Dude, I thought we weren't going to talk about that." Ioni
"I've got a system to try and run it on solar power, but it's not working directly.  Also, Seattle solar power sucks!" Zuko
"I'd say you're better off trying to capture the rain for power." GM
"Shut up Captain L.A." Zuko
"Dude, I will fucking trade you!" GM

"Is GM suggesting that we use the torture device machine from the Princess Bride to power a sex thing.. toy... machine...  English words go here!" Ioni
Zuko interprets - "Ioni wants to know if you wanted to use The Machine from Princess Bride as a sex toy."
"More like the machine from Eurotrip, it sounds like." Kadon
"I have not seen that movie." GM

"I'm playing the Bad Piggy's game.  It's the sequel to Angry Birds, and wow.... their animations are terrible, the should feel bad." Zuko
"Your animation is bad, you should feel bad?" Ioni

"If you look at that and think, 'Oh wait!  Here's this giant plot thread I have been running for two years that these guys know nothing about'... you should probably mention that." Mnemia
"Yes please!" Ioni
"You say that as if you don't trust me!" GM
"Pre.... cisely.  We still love you though!" Ioni
"Should we?" Zuko
"It's not about trust, it's about this game turning into Cloud Atlas times seven.  I appreciate your restraint of the time traveling device.  That really would have sucked balls." Mnemia

"We need our Wiki Page on perforce.  I'm checking this out.  No one can touch it!" Mnemia

"Perfects?  Back in my day we had to roll it!" GM
"Do you want me to call you an old geezer?" Ioni

"Okay, last game, you had just penny blossomed the room." GM
"Peony.   like the flower." Kadon
"Not penny" Ioni
"Whatever." GM
"Elbow." Zuko
"Dead." Mnemia
"So yeah, like I said you panty blossomed the room, every thing is dead." GM
"Panty blossomed the room?" Kadon
"Actually that might be a good name for a charm!" GM
"Possibly for my game instead." Kadon

"I kept thinking about your alchemical testing ground." GM still on Panty Blossom
"Mnemia, are your giant transformers fucking or rather docking in space?" Zuko
"The worlds first fan/fic between battleships." GM
"UNIVERSE!" Kadon
"Gonna fire my torpedos!" GM
"Actually innuendo is so hard to come by in that game." Mnemia
"Mnemia is so happy in that game." Zuko

"You're Mega Maid?" Zuko
"No, not that tall.  I'd need to be essence 7 to be Mega Maid." Mnemia

"There's a series of transformers where you're eventually watching Evangelion?  what?!"  GM

"Am I the one who is gonna have to go hug this guy?"  Ioni
"If you were capable of grappling him, maybe." Zuko
"I can't grapple, but I can hug!" Ioni
"All he needs is a hug!" GM
"You know what?  The world would be less psychotic if everyone gave each other a hug and then stole each others wallets."  Ioni
"I tried but you got mad at me for grabbing your ass." Kadon
"You then went for the boobs right after." Ioni
"They were at head level... what?" Kadon
"No." Ioni
"SIGH" GM
"GWLMGMGLLHWW" Kadon imitating motor boating.

"It's been 4 seconds!" Kadon
"Yeah, I learn a lot when punching things!" Zuko

"Ioni can get hit by non-essence damage." Ioni
"Fine, we'll make you artefacts this week if you want." Zuko
"I like being the non-threatening one." Zuko

"Ok, Kadon..." GM
"Yes?" Kadon
"Some jerkface just took away my turn so that leaves..." GM
"Oh, my turn?  I forgot we were in  battle!" Kadon

"Mnemia... can you give me a lift?" Ioni
"I guess" Mnemia
"Clench up Legolas." Zuko
"That's my line!" Kadon

"He's a hundred and four yards away.  You can just BOOM!" Zuko on sniping.
"How much damage can Gavin take?" Ioni
"Woah woah woah." GM
"MY JOB!  MY JOB!" And it's not hurting Gaving.  It's punching him in the face?" Zuko

"Who shoots Gavin with an arrow?  C'mon!" Zuko

"I'm apparently making [NPC] like [Zuko] a lot so he will stop fighting you and take it up the ass for you." Ioni
"Wow... Weaponized Date Rape drug." GM
"Kadon gave it to me." Ioni
"Don't make this my fault!" Kadon

"I wonder if I could use lambent bolt of annihilation with this, Kadon." Ioni
"I'm not sure your care bear stare needs to be AOE" Kadon
"The next thing the two armies realize they were fucking on the battlefield."  GM
"Don't ask, don't tell." Kadon

"And what am I resisting again?" GM
"PEACE AND LOVE!" Ioni
"Thats...  awesome" GM deadpan.

"One moment, I hear screaming.  I'm mildly concerned."  GM
"She discovered that she is in your basement." Ioni
"Yep, she found the way out of the basement." Zuko
"Yeah, if I had a basement that might mean something." GM
"Cuz clearly that's what's wrong with that line of thinking." Kadon

"...and hits everyone whom she wants dead.  Which is most of these invisible bitches.  All of these invisible bitches." Mnemia
"Mnemia, I'm sorry.  You lost all bad ass points when you got to 'which is most of these invisible bitches.'"  Zuko

"See if Ioni did her job and got the bad mojo out of this dice roller." Mnemia

"I'm just going to position it to you this way, Kadon.  Ioni can still go ahead and learn to summon demons.  Which of the two of you do you want controlling our demon horde?"  Zuko
"What I want as a player, does not alter what Kadon would do in this case." Kadon

"Technically, none of my bits have to touch him to attack him."  Zuko
"Less ripping." Kadon
"More gripping?" Ioni
"Okay, I light some candles, some Barry White music..." Zuko
"Some Kenny G." GM
"And say come to Zuko" Zuko

"He seems incredibly emancipated under there because of the shape of the body is something you expect to see in Abercrombie and Fitch." GM
"Emaciated, GM.  Emancipated means freed." Zuko

"Every time we take our eyes off of a kid, they do something stupid." Mnemia
"That's kind of why Zuko is at the point where we should murder all children." Zuko

"Zuko will say.. Dude.. he'll look at Gavin, look at the thing... look at Gavin, look at the thing... you gotta stop bein' such a bitch!" Zuko
"I beg your fuckin' problem!" GM
"I'm sorry, which one of us came down kicked his ass while you just flailed around then beat his ass?  Oh right, me.  We need to toughen you up.  That's why I punched you in the face.  Gotta make you a man!" Zuko

"Thats because he knows when someone with a bigger dick shows up" Zuko
"You know what works better than dodging us?  Talking to us." Mnemia
"Exactly." Kadon

"Guy goes to hell, punch him in the face." GM
"Guy whines about going to hell, punch him in the face" Mnemia
"Guy tries to sleep with Mnemia's kids, punch him in the face." Zuko
"Okay, no he didn't.  You need to stop." GM
"Future version of him and crazy fucked up shit to us via time whammy jammy and leaving little notes being smarter than you bull shit, punch him in the fucking face." Zuko
"I haven't done that!" GM

"I have long since stated that if I come across future selves that are trying to project us, first thing I am going to do is punch future me in the face." Zuko
"You know future you knows its coming so he's never gonna show up." Ioni
"Well he's gonna step behind future Kadon that's for damn sure." Zuko

"Are you telling the truth?" GM
"Yes" Zuko
"Gavin will nod and say okay." GM
"Have you seen future me?" Zuko
"I'm not punching him in the face!" GM
"Best way to avoid my question..." Zuko
"No.." GM
"I'm watching you!" Zuko

"Gavin, it's only mostly personal." Zuko

"You (Gavin) did try to mack on Mnemia's kids." Zuko
"I'm not sure that's true by the way, I'm pretty sure we did make that up because it was funny." Kadon
"No." Zuko
"I'm pretty sure Mnemia's kids were macking on him and he wasn't reciprocating." GM
"That's lesson number one, man." Mnemia

"Is this what pain is?" GM as Goth Ophelia
"Yes, suck it up." Ioni
"It's kind of awesome." GM
"Wait, back it up.. what?"  Ioni
"It's not like I'm going to start seeking it out!" GM
"Well if you do start seeking it out, make sure you go to someone you trust, like Mnemia or Zis."  Ioni
"Let's go through the number of people in this party should ever go to for Morals... How about NONE!" Zuko

"I'm sorry, after you've seen a man hump a lamp post, it's really hard not to be concerned." Zuko

"and... I've only slept with the fleshy ones that are human shaped and normal looking.  I have not had sex with a mail box, a lamp post, a warstrider sized woman....  Not even sure how that would happen without drowning." GM

"Hey dear, can you be under-aged twins for me tonight?" Mnemia
"There's nothing creepy about it, it's just y'know." Zuko
"No!  I am never going to have sex with Mnemia's kids." GM
"Fine, they are not good enough for you." Zuko

"Fuck you Captain Bullshit Charms!" Zuko
"YOU CAN GET THEM TOO!" Kadon

Forty Yards....

Random Game Plug:  Artemis is "Fun as Balls" as rated by Zuko.

"Well when he gets here, we can launch into beating things up... in the mean time..." Kadon

"What you don't realize is the cats are trying to take the kitten out.  But the right one went too soon, and the left one too late and BOOM!"  Kadon as a football announcer

"I don't think people can hurt Mnemia at this point and that's a little sad."  Ioni
"Oh there are people who can hurt Mnemia.  I'm pretty sure my alchemical can in the right circumstances like the vacuum of space.  If the Alchemical had the chance to go, I'm pretty sure she'd win.  Mnemia does not have the soak for 6 hits of 45 damage coming down all at once... guess I could perfect parry that.  It'd be a mote attrition game.. *silence*  Yeah never mind.  I don't know who would win." Mnemia

"And Zukos' been dropped." Ioni
"How do you figure?" GM
"Cuz there was an 'Oh mother fucker!' coming from his room." Ioni

"Finally played Pimp: The Backhanding, so I don't feel like I've wasted money on that game." GM
"I think you still wasted money on that game." Zuko

"I believe we were responding to a Cluster fuck in progress?" Kadon
"That pretty much sums it all up." GM

"What would you like?" Kadon
"Deeeeeeeeeeze nuuuuts!" Zuko

We play using Traipse, and sometimes tons of minis.  
"Why don't you scale them down while you're re-naming them?" Kadon
"Oh, okay.  What do you want them at?" Zuko while renaming the NPCs Douche bagN
"I don't know, probably half this size if there are this many, I'm thinking.  So like 24." Kadon
"On it!" Zuko
"Thank you!" Kadon
"Oh no, you are not shrinking us, we are awesome!" Zuko
"Are you shrinking me?  I realize you want a pocket size Ioni, but no!" Ioni
"Nobody puts Ioni in the pocket." Zuko
"You're not treating Ioni like Mouse Chu's stupid little bimbo." Ioni
"....What?" Kadon
"Yeah, I only got a part of that.  Most of that was in English, I think." GM
"Oh did you tell them about Mouse?" Zuko
"No I didn't, I figured you'd be better." Ioni
"It is the best anime." Zuko
"It's a thief with a harem anime." Ioni
"The dude is an expert thief that steals things like buildings.  And uh, he has 3 women who work with him but not just work with him, they are also his sex slaves." Zuko
"Well, if you're going to do this, you might as well do it the right way." GM
"Uhm.. okay...." Kadon
"Constantly trying to get it on with him despite his efforts to the contrary."  Zuko

"Who is shrinking them and not re-naming them!" Zuko
"Me... Sorry." Kadon
"I'll take care of it!" Zuko
"They're all different sizes." Mnemia
"I changed my mind.  32." Kadon
"Cock bag!" Zuko
"I am fixing them!" Kadon
"Don't!  Middle of naming them and their names are going back... what the fuck is going on!?" Zuko

"That was the boss douche bag... that or I added a zero by accident." Kadon

"I don't like having a dual number so...." Zuko changes Douchebag10 to El doucherino
"Having a ... ?  Wow.." Kadon
"I don't like 2 digits!" Zuko

"By the way, Mnemia, I love you so much right now." Zuko as Kadon's mini sprouts a "cock bag"
"What?!" Ioni
"You'll see it.  See?!  Notice!  I narrowed it down that Ioni didn't do that!" Zuko
Mini's are renamed:
  Kadon (Cockbag) > Kadon (here to fix the cable)
  Mnemia (Douchewrangler)
  Zuko (Poonosaurus) > Zuko (LogJammin)

"SIGH!" GM
"Oh you'd miss it!" Ioni
"Potentially." GM
"That's GMs happy noise and that terrifies me.  GM just plowing some chick and just going sigh."  Zuko
"Out of curiosity, Zuko, how do you know what it sounds like when the GM cums?" Kadon
"Because!  I get more XP than the rest of you!" Zuko
"No...........................!" GM
"Wow, you successfully took it to the next level Zuko."  Kadon
"Was there ever a mother fucking doubt?" Zuko
"Not that you could, but that you would... Wait, no the other way around." Kadon

"Alright, who is delicately arranging my douche bags?" Zuko

"And the idea was, Kadon was going to fly first, dragging an Ioni."  Zuko
"I do not drag, I gently cup." Kadon
"But while lifting and separating an Ioni." Zuko

"Zuko, Balancing a Mnemia on one hand." Zuko
"You gotta say it, Zuko." Kadon
"Balancing a dyke on one hand." Zuko immediately.
"No no... Pizza Delivery!" Kadon
"That's True!  Totally happens!  Unauthorized personnel are not allowed in this fight scene." Zuko
"Uhh.... it's free!" Kadon
"BRNNNNNNN!!!!" Zuko

"THIS IS THE BEST EMAIL SUBJECT LINE EVER!" Zuko when Kadon sends out drop box invites that read Kadon wants to share "Sins" with you.
"Uhhh......" Kadon
"Oh Africa!" Zuko
"what?!" Ioni
"Makes perfect sense." Zuko

"Point the death sticks where you want them, sir." Zuko
"I don't smoke." Kadon
"I want to go home and re-think my life." GM
"Yup." Zuko

"Giant bomb built to blow us up?  I am not punching through the window." Zuko

"Do you want science involved in this discussion?" Mnemia
"Oh please allow me to put science into shit.  I will wreck your goddamn day with science.  Worst decision a GM ever made was allowing me to have an Aberrant Character with momentum control." Zuko

Zuko hands Ioni a bottle of Bailey's equivalent, looking expectantly at her.
"Are you saying I have man hands?" Ioni opening the bottle
"Are you strong than me?  YES!" Zuko

"Give me Perception Awareness." GM
"9!  Oh fuck you!  2!" Zuko

"Giant Titties!" Zuko
"you're free to name a ship that." GM
"On it!" Zuko

"Ioni, it's time for your special!" zuko
"O yes!" Ioni
"Ioni has something applicable I take it?" Kadon
"Yes, she does, cuz I actually read what her charms do." Zuko
The charm was subsequently ruled as too OP because it would do what Mnemia would do, just without damage.

"Kadon, stop filling up my drop box!" Ioni
"Seriously, Jesus fucking Christ, dude!" Zuko

"So, we can't lick them?" Ioni
"Sorry?" GM doing a mental reboot
"If we start bumping into these things with our tongues, we can't lick them?" Ioni

"Bring it you little pieces of shit or I'll tell everyone your first and last names!" Zuko

Fuck you dude! That's my wife!" Zuko
"Yeah, she's giving me motes!" Mnemia
"Fair enough, I knew that's what you're after, I'm just... I'm allowed to be annoyed that you once again sucking at my wife's mote teat." Zuko

"Zuko is going to pull out the child with one hand, substitute the fake with the other and then battle roll away...." Zuko rescuing a kid from a mean Solar

"Gavin was protecting this kid, right?" Zuko
"Yep" GM
"Well if it goes wrong, it's his fault and I'll punch him in the face." Zuko

"You hear him mutter about 'I hope you are competent enough to deal with this' before throwing what he thinks is the child at Mnemia's feet." GM
"When it goes KA CHUNK!" Zuko
"All the little whasits in the room turn in Mnemia's direction." GM
"Dude, this is like the best turn out for this ever! I'm not getting my ass kicked for stealing a kid!" Zuko

"This is amazing!" Zuko
"The day I get bored of that is the day I stop letting you do that.  Fortunately, it's still amusing." GM
"I wrote 'Free Candy' on my satchel." Zuko
"One day, you're going to walk into an episode of To Catch a Predator - it's not gonna work so well." GM

"It'd be bad if that's Lucy." Ioni
"Uhh is it a creature of darkness?" Zuko
"....yes..." GM
"Oh well, I'll save the kid so we can murder is later." Zuko

"Alright, Douchewrangler and Kadon." GM
"That's kind of redundant." Zuko
"Mnemia is Douchewrangler." Kadon

"My flame piece always brings all the boys to the yard!" Kadon

"Hey Mnemia, what are you wielding now?" GM
"Deeeeeeeeze nuuuuuuts!" Zuko
"Unlikely." Kadon

"What does this douche bag think Mnemia was gonna do with a sword in both hands!?" Mnemia
"That's why he threw the kid at your feet!" GM
"At the point of the action, Mnemia's still 40 yards away!" Mnemia
"Well the kid caught some air." Kadon
"Minions are 40 yards away, I'm not spending these next 2 actions moving." Mnemia
"Look.  You obviously have that mothering look about you who will take care of a child, so he gave you the child." Zuko
"I've got a spare hand, have him throw it to me instead.  I'm only on fire." Kadon
"You're still 40 yards away!" Mnemia
"Does he overhand it?  or Underhand it?" Zuko
"He footballed this child." Mnemia
"A nice tight spiral!" Kadon
"Well he could rugby toss it!  I don't know!" Zuko
"40 yards!?!?" Mnemia
"How far could you throw a child?" GM

"I am still confused.  Mnemia is more friendly and motherly than Ioni?!" Ioni
"Ioni, you're friendly just not in a PG-13 way." Zuko
"If you want to pick up the baby you can.  Mnemia's got things she wants to stab." Mnemia

"Zuko, holler like: 'you got it' or something." Kadon
"I DA PAPPY!" Zuko
"I don't know what that is, but it's good enough for Mnemia!" Mnemia

"Zuko!  Stop flashing your chest, I am not showing you my boobs!" Ioni
"....that was awkward." GM
"With your knowledge!" Zuko

"He steps out and falls down the shaft." GM
"Don't be a pussy, come back here and fight you little bitch!" Zuko

"I will ignore the block of wood.  That is not the sound a baby makes when it hits the ground.  Mnemia knows this." Mnemia
"There's a story there!" GM
"That's the only way I can explain the twins' behavior!  That they were dropped on their heads, repeatedly."  Mnemia
"At least you know what it sounds like though," Ioni
"In Zukos defense, Mnemia thought it was really cool when he started juggling the babies." Zuko

"What should I make Zis do?" GM
"A good question Mnemia asks nightly." Kadon

"Not knowing any better, Zis is going to run over and pick up the kid and discover it's a block of wood." GM
"Zuko will hold up the kid and go 'OH C'MON!  Do you people not understand what I do!?'" Zuko

"That is the end of my turn, is anything still standing?" Mnemia dealing 450+ damage

"I just did 468 points of damage..." Mnemia
"And I would have done none!!" Ioni

"So there are a lot of loud wet flopping as things just sort of fall from the ceiling and from the sky and everything....  as the sudden meat grinder that is this room..." GM
"So, how many are still up and alive?" Zuko
"That would be a none..." GM

"Good enough, do I recognize this child?  have I met it before?" Zuko
"Yes" GM

"... And how thick are the walls of the shaft?" Zuko about the elevator shaft, Ioni snickers, as does Kadon.
"See, I wasn't thinking that until I heard the one snicker."  GM
"I've been thinking of trying to bust this shaft.  Right?  How much pressure would I need to keep around the shaft?  Sturdy... strong... Penetrates through this giant tower of power.... Is this shaft like hard and a major part.." Zuko
"You need to stop." GM
"Out of curiosity, is this one of the Red Chiaroscuro Glass buildings?" Kadon
"Or is it the Big Black Building?  Twice as tall as all the others?" Zuko
"Or is it Blue.." Ioni
"GM, just to be fair, cuz I don't' like leaving you out.  We're talking about penis jokes."   Zuko
"If it's blue, then it's definitely a representation of Kira's sexual frustration with Gavin." Kadon
"Well she did say or at least allude to that Gavin's not good in bed." Ioni
"Sigh... It's a city, they are shaped that way." GM

"Are you saying this is a giant pink tower?  ... mostly rounded?"  Zuko
"Is there, for example, a large valley that extends in one direction relative to this large rounded pink tower?" Kadon
"Part of me doesn't want to answer...  The other part of me who is not participating is like yeah, actually, there is! and I'm like shut the fuck up!" GM
"Possibly with a reservoir of some kind uh.. that contains some quantity of fluid." Kadon
"So, out of curiosity, kind of far into this you know... huddle inside the tower... We look on one side of the tower, you know, about a third of the way in are we going to see anything.....  that we really want to get our hands on.." Zuko, in the other room, Ioni falls out of her chair laughing on the floor.
"Is the land on the opposite side of the valley, is it crop land, or has it been reduced to desert?  Is that where the smooth glass side...." Kadon
"Oh my god, I can't breathe!  Dammit Kadon!" Ioni cackling like mad
"Wait wait, hold up.  I think we get to determine this is the pink tower and the two dudes running towards it were able to find it!" Zuko
"To be fair, one of them was a doctor." Kadon
"I just want to say how proud I am.  We turned this joke about dicks into vagina's easily." Zuko
"Guess the scale is wrong, but depending on how this is all lined up you can view the Blessed Isle as sort of  the outlet for Creations solid waste if you will.... No the geometry doesn't line up... where's the taint?  Kadon
"White wall." Zuko

"Just so you guys know, Ioni came to my door, and between giggles said, 'I had fallen out of my chair'.  I think she hurt herself." Zuko

"I now get to spend a week plotting how to destroy you all and it will be phallic shaped."  GM
"GM, I realize you are lonely there in LA but I don't want you putting your phallus at me."  Zuko

"When you land, you watch." Mnemia when Zuko tries to rescue Gavin from being beat up.


"I could punch Gavin any day." Zuko
"As long as he's alive." Ioni
"I'll punch Gavin when he's dead.  You do not understand, we can raise up his ghost and punch it." Zuko

"We've just got to go to the Land of Mai Thai and titties?" Zuko
"That would be a step in the right direction." Mnemia

"Uranus... waiting for Yuki to spit it out." Mnemia

It's a Venn Diagram of Hate.

"I now have my own personal Bile-otron starter." GM


"It's a Venn Diagram of hate." Kadon
"... using the...  does give hope there's only one of them." Mnemia

"He has elaborate fantasies of being mailed somewhere so he can do mass murder or mass fucking." Ioni rehashing GMs statement.
"Did he say mailed or nailed?" Zuko

"For dessert is it just a tube of cookie dough?" GM
"That's disgusting?" Zuko
"What?  Dem's good eatin!" GM

"Last time, on Exalted Ball-Z... what happened.?" Zuko
"Well, Kadon sat in a park.  Mnemia did not get to punch anything.  Zuko has yet to find who is attempting to sleep steal.  And Scartlet has turned into a pig.  We are now proceeding to search for a snake that Scarlet can hunt down and kill so Scarlet can learn to unhinge her jaw.  And that's so she, as squirrel form, can swallow a whole pig." Ioni


"Spirit RAAAAAPE!" Zuko

"Someone want to stick a dick in his ear?...  Just opening up possibilities." Zuko
"I will step back on this one.....  Kadon, dick his ear." Ioni

"I could just heal him." Kadon
"Sounds dangerously like helping him." Zuko

"Slapping is not going to be the solution here, I feel." Kadon
"Woah woah... more punching is always the solution." Zuko

"I've got Schrodingers asshole??" Zuko

"If Ioni is here, she's not blowing all the transportation people so people aren't getting their food as cheaply as they could." Zuko

"If I tell Zuko to do anything, he won't do it."  Mnemia
"I don't think that's true.  If you tell Zuko to punch someone in the face, he will." GM
"I doubt it.  He wouldn't do it just to be contrary." Kadon
"HEY!" Zuko

"There is hard to say, then there is the fact I'm a fuckin' genius." Kadon

"By the time you reach 600 XP, whether you're in complete darkness is not a problem." Zuko

"Are there markings on the floor?  Pictures?  Numbers?  Star-gate Symbols?" Kadon
"Penises?" Ioni
"Dirty Limericks?" Zuko

"Can we rip out the floors and move on?" Mnemia

"How can I help with this punching plan?" Mnemia
"Okay..." GM
"Fuck it!  LOCK OPENING TOUCH!" Zuko

"I don't see a sign anywhere that says 'Tomb of Horrors' or 'Hidden Manse 2' I hope." Mnemia

"If that douche bag made 7 hidden manses..." Mnemia

"Let's go blow up the Blessed Isle, let Kadon deal with the bad stuff.  We're done!  Campaign over boys!" Zuko

"I may be just a simple country night caste, but this creature just brought us to an Eye of Autocthon." Zuko

"Mnemia will also say, that better be a charm that summons puppies and kittens." Mnemia

"Your mom is a central node!" Zuko

"You should j-paff it." Zuko
"Unlike Zuko, I have class." Kadon
"With students that you sleep with.  Just sayin' it's an important diagnostic tool." Zuko

"..then so long bitches!" Zuko

"Do you know about a translucent spirit who seems allergic to be known?" Kadon

"Gavin will say, I told you I wasn't making it up!" GM
"I felt it while I was playing around down there!" Zuko

"Sup Autocthon!  It's been fun in your body so far!" Zuko
"That's...what she said?" GM
"What she's are going in your body?!" Zuko

"All you have to say dude, is she was never into ass play." Kadon
"At least not hers." Zuko
"Eww..." GM

"You have found the power button!" Ioni when Kadon looks into the Eye of Autocthon.
"No, I have found the command line interface..  What is the help command?  /help?.. Hello World?" Kadon
"Wait... format*.*..." Zuko

"Big Blunts 420." Zuko
"FBI Surveillance Van." GM
"Free Candy." GM

"Where is Kadon's Eye of Autocthon Authenticator?" Zuko
"On his iPhone which he has not invented yet.  Fuck!  Don't make me Steve Jobs." Kadon

"STOP! BAD PRIMORDIAL!" Kadon

"Alright.  Mnemia, lie down, I need to get root access!" Zuko

During a random discussion of how "no boobs are bad."
Example one.  Example two.  Example three.

"Autocthon and the Wyld never got along together, basically cuz Autocthon saw the Wyld as a Cheeseburger.  A place to basically take a shit." GM
"WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!"  Zuko
"The fact that you take a dump on cheeseburgers may be an issue." Ioni
"The fact that you take a cheeseburger and take a shit is the same thing." Zuko
"But that's McDonalds." GM


"Didn't Autocthon have a crush on like Ophelia?  Or was that Lucy?"  Zuko
"He had a brotherly crush on Lucy and she betrayed him, and is partly responsible for his current sickness." GM
"Once again...  Brotherly... Crush..." Zuko

"Autocthon did not bang Lucy.  He is definitely a virgin." GM
"Incest is best." Ioni


"We're gonna wreck a death lord... We're gonna wreck a death lord..." Mnemia singing

"Crazy ridiculous stories are kind of what we're known for." Zuko