I am happy to see that so many people are reading these quotes. The quotes are up early-ish this week due to Ariko and Kai watching Ghost Rider 2 while sober, and feeling like horrible horrible people and unable to play Lego Batman any time soon.
You may notice that character names will be changing soon. Our current game has just ended its first season, with a little OVA included, and we may go back to a prior game.
Now, on with the Belligerent Jerks!
"Good evening campers!" GM
"Wait, we're camping? Where are we camping?" Kai
"Malfeas? I don't know." GM
"Why are we in Malfeas again? Are we staying at Ligiers?" Kai
"Well, you are." GM
"No, no. You are not staying at Ligiers." Ariko
"What's the worst that could happen?" Kai
"Sun burn?" Sora
"Demon Baby" Alcyone
"See this is why I don't watch Opening Ceremonies. It's pretty much the host country masturbating in front of the world." Alcyone
"You should walk to work, Sora" Kai
"Nah, that's a dangerous stretch of wilderness." Sora
"What the hell kind of wilderness animal will get you?" Alcyone
"Hobos." Sora
"Hey Kai, you like to cook and stuff so maybe you can answer this question" Sora
"Yes....." Kai
"Oh thats the way to start a conversation." Alcyone
"Bzzzzzz" Ariko
"That's for the return trip." Sora as Hix
"But you are actually a guy now!" Kai
"Sora is perfectly capable of shoving a vibrator up his ass." Ariko
"I didn't know that's what you liked." Kai
"Hey, ass play doesn't make you gay. We all know that." GM
"It's just the kiss that does." Ariko
"They are weeds that grow next to a chocolate lake in the middle of the wyld that has a giant straw that sucks up fat boys." Sora on pocky
"Some how you've made it into the red fucking light district of malfeas!" GM
"Always where Sora wants to go." Kai
"Unless you're into that sort of thing... I don't judge." GM
"Yes you do." Kai
"Oh your Linguistics is so bad that you make a ring with one finger and slide your other finger through the circle repeatedly." Ariko
"Buggerim Buggrit... TEA!?" GM
"Hootini!" Ariko as a jawa
"Does Hix have any way to detect poison?" Sora
"Just drink it and find out, Sora. Hix hasn't been useful this whole fucking game." Alcyone
"TEA!" GM channeling Foul Ole Ron.
"Okay, I will grab my crotch, wander over, piss on the guy like a man!" Kai
"No no Kai, if you really want to get even, you have to rape Alcyone/Taiga" Ariko
"Do I have any poison?" Kai
"Not your bag." GM
"Well, I need a new bag." Kai
"Dump Taiga." Ariko
"What?" Kai
"Get a new bag." Ariko
"Like Bella?" Kai
"Well I was thinking Sora." Ariko
"There's a slash across his eyes." GM
"We have a naked mole rat!" Kai
"Why are you thinking of entering your momma?" Ariko
"Cuz you said.." Sora
"I check the tea cup." Kai
"There's a shrimp in it." GM
"I thought he took out the shrimp." Sora
"If you don't know counter magic, then I'm putting you down that hole, not the good one!" Ariko
"Awww!" Sora
"Dude you ended looking up a skirt in an anime, you are getting kicked, repeatedly and punted!" Alcyone
"Let's go, let's go! I'm bored, let's go!" Alcyone
"Yes! What Alcyone said!" Kai
"He stowed away on the boat." GM
"Wow, 5 days without anyone." Alcyone
"Oh you'll pay for it!" Kai
"Oh, I better!" Alcyone
"I wanna see it, I wanna see it. Havelock wants to see it!" Kai
"Thank you GM for turning the character that Ariko idolizes into this.." Ariko
"Fine. Havelock will want to see it in a manly and suave way." Kai
"You're about to piss off the pattern spiders." Sora
"Yeah, well they can deal!" Ariko
"Each of you had his role to play." GM
"Can his be to stay at home?" Ariko
"You always like to rip it off." Ariko
"Gotta like the stinging sensation." Kai
"Kai sweety, you are a straight up freak." Ariko
"Hix's future is this." Kai
"Hix will.... wow." Sora
"And that is oddly appropriate." Alcyone
"It's Japan, they go from nothing to boobtacular!" Ariko link
"Oh it was ass, I only got 2 episodes in before I shut that shit off. That anime was bad." Alcyone
"I think if we sneeze at this point the world ends" Alcyone/Mnemia
"Again, at least you aren't bored!" Sora/GM
"Oh god, I completely forgot about Gavin, and how much I want to punch him in the face." Ariko/Zuko
"It's true, we opened a number of threads on our own. Oh I heard about that one shiney thing... ohhh shiney things!" GM/Kadon
"The last time we had a break we were waiting for the fucking time portal in Autocthonia!" GM/Kadon
"Quit stealing the Squirrel girls." Alcyone/Mnemia
"I'ts been 3 years with Kadon, I know I can do better!" GM/Kadon
"You're breaking up with Kadon?" Kai/Ioni
"Well no, but I would like to put my dick in a different character." GM/Kadon
"You just need to nudge Ioni." Ariko/Zuko
"But isn't Yuki still a vegetable baby oven for Uranus' baby?" Ariko/Zuko
"We had to dream rape an NPC." Ariko/Zuko
"She had some say in it, I think." Sora/GM
"And it's not even the first time its happened in your game, you sick fuck." Ariko/Zuko
"Alcyone likes to fuck dead girls and you like to impregnate NPCs." Ariko/Zuko
"Sora's temperance one and Ioni's temperance one are completely different." Sora/GM
"Just wait until your girl balls drop, then you will be humping like crazy." Ariko/Zuko
"Just need that first god dicking, then you will know how good it feels." Kai/Ioni
"Jesus." Alcyone/Mnemia
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Kai and Ligier sittin' in a tree.... well crap.
"Do you commonly watch porn on Kai's bed?" Sora
"Watch porn, shoot porn, everything." Ariko
"My bed is very versatile." Kai
"I'm trying to figure out what makes your bed so special." Sora
"Well mine has a girl that sleeps in it." Kai
"Guess what I got to do last weekend!" Ariko
"Travel across the country?" Sora
"I got to hug an Alcyone!" Ariko
"....yeah.." Alcyone
"You sound so thrilled, just the tone of voice." Sora
"Sorry." Kai to Alcyone on Ariko's constant desire for hugs.
"You should be! You had a year to train him out of that!" Alcyone
"I tried! At least he has stopped randomly hugging me while I'm in the kitchen making food." Kai
"Are you sure you two aren't married." Alcyone
"And there's chicks in bikinis getting hit with tomatoes" Ariko on the Fall Tomato throwing festival.
"Now you're talking." GM
"You know Old Realm? Since when!? You have an Int of 1!" Ariko
"Well, I wanted to write something in Old Realm so I learned." Kai
"You guys live at a school!" GM
"Aaaaand I botched." Kai after her roll
"Kai, you hear the hierarchy list and you could swear Alcyone is on the list." GM
"Kai will look very shocked, and stare at Alcyone. 'You are so powerful!' And Kai will bow and scrape the ground." Kai
"Alcyone will not stop this. She has no idea what is going on, but she won't object." Alcyone
"Yes Kai is broken again." Sora
"Kai is firmly believing this will work because she knows Alcyone is in the hierarchy down here." Kai
"Are you sure she botched?" Alcyone
"Guys, we got a problem. Kai's kinda compassionate." Kai
"Gonna freak out about the guys on the hooks?" Sora
"YEP!" Kai
"I'm actually okay with Kai dying. It gives me room to make even more crazy. Kai is a test run." Kai
"Oh that's comforting." Sora
"So what's our signal?" Sora
"Oh shit?" Kai
"Urusai, or no baka." Ariko
"The artifact is in the center." GM
"And that is our escape explosion. Kai has this all planned out." Kai
"Huh? Is anyone else confused?" Sora
"Kai is talking and you're listening." Alcyone
"Kai is a re-tard." Ariko
"Ariko, she has activated a charm." GM
"GET NAKED!" Alcyone
"And somewhere in Creation, Zuko is going - I sense a martial arts form, I want to know. Dammit!" Kai
"No, Zuko goes, I sense some pussies using martial arts with swords. Useless hacks!" Ariko
"I hear clicking of plotting against me." GM
"Alcyone knows mail boxes. I know explosives." Ariko
"Why don't you just hire him a hooker?" Kai
"Are you trying to bribed him? Cuz we keep offering him you!" Ariko
"Kill him with syphilis. I don't have syphilis." Kai
"Well you're not trying hard enough." Ariko
"Wow..." GM
"I have a jet pack in my ass." Kai
"So, the artifact is in the middle." Kai
"Yes" GM
"How many more motes does it need to explode?" Kai
"Let's say 20."GM
"Would Kai know how to fill it?" Kai
"Kai... Giant bomb in the room where we are stuck in and its attached to the person we are trying to rescue!" Ariko
"OMG you're scroll of the monkey-ing it? I'm the only one allowed to use that horrible book." Ariko
"Geeze, I need a cheat sheet." GM
"GM, I was wondering if I can drop a sheet of Adamant Glass on her." Ariko
"And hit Sora and Kai?" Alcyone
"They are vertical." GM
"I'm good at math!" Ariko
"You guys want me to do that really stupid thing?" Ariko
"YES!" Kai
"Someone I trust?" Ariko
"... stupid is okay at this point." Alcyone
"You said stupid's okay, right Alcyone?" Kai
"Yes, stupid's okay." Alcyone
"Ariko, as they pointed out, has an abacus built into her..." Ariko
"... But, what Ariko has just taken into account is the gravitational pull of Sora's chest, and that arrow is going down someplace she was not expecting to guard." Ariko
"2 Stunt dice." GM laughing
"That's a three dicer for the sheer audacity." Sora
"Three dice." GM laughing.
"8 successes on 6 dice!" Kai
"Why the fuck can't I get that on an attack!?" Ariko
"I flashed the dice generator." Kai
"That would work. It was made by me." GM
"I built my specialty in performance so I can do two at the same time." Sora
"Sora can totally do DVDA!" Ariko
"10 successes to shot an arrow into the back of her head... wait, can I ping her ass instead cuz its funnier?" Ariko
"So she's attacking which means she can't see me?" Kai
"Why do you think we did this Kai!?" Ariko
"Cuz it's funny?" Kai
"Above and beyond the fact Kai dying would be sad, Kai dying would decrease my charm across the board." Alcyone
"No no, keep them in your shirt - even when I was a guy, mine were more impressive." Sora on the Infernal exposing her chest cavity.
"You can't even touch your current boobage and you're comparing boobage?" Kai
"Kai, not now!" Sora
"Just add the words and I'll be the head." Sora
"Can I recognize that?" Ariko
"Certainly, roll something plus occult." GM
"Over the course of 4 seconds, she probably touched herself, stopped touching herself, then touched herself again." Alcyone when Mac is revealed as Ligier.
"Kai fucked Ligier.." Ariko singing.
"Kai's confused." Kai
"Oh fuck, I gave it mouth to mouth!" Sora
"Kai steps into the circle and you see her slow down." GM
"Cuz there's a demon baby in her stomach." Alcyone
"Ariko's like 'shouldn't we.. okay lets move out'" Ariko
"Alcyone isn't going to say anything, but this group is steadily accumulating secrets." Alcyone
"Because we are having a discussion of who the Wyld Hunt want more is not cool!" Alcyone
"Under certain circumstances, a 3rd level demon can be brought into Creation." GM
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. You are NOT summoning a fetiche Soul of Malfeas for a booty call!" Ariko
"Aw but I needed a date for the dance!" Kai
"I'm pretty sure Ligier coming to Creation will make even the Unconquered Sun sit up and say WTF!" Ariko
"I think on eof us needs to attune it and use it." Alcyone
"I got the motes!" Kai
"Uhh, I am the one people trust." Ariko
"Do we have Hix?" Ariko
"No" GM
"Well we were told get the girlfriend, not Hix. So technically we're good. Who wants to explain it to Hix's mom?" Ariko
"Seriously now, what does Sora need to know about if she needs to kill this guy." Sora
"That was well done you ken." GM
"I'm not tied to the bed, this time, am I?" Sora
"Not unless you want to be?" GM
"+5 permanent essence for a deep dicking." Ariko
"I don't think all the essence stays in there." GM
"We really need to push Kai down some stairs. I need to make an Adamant Coat Hanger." Ariko
"The womb rot may have dodge skills." GM
"Watch porn, shoot porn, everything." Ariko
"My bed is very versatile." Kai
"I'm trying to figure out what makes your bed so special." Sora
"Well mine has a girl that sleeps in it." Kai
"Guess what I got to do last weekend!" Ariko
"Travel across the country?" Sora
"I got to hug an Alcyone!" Ariko
"....yeah.." Alcyone
"You sound so thrilled, just the tone of voice." Sora
"Sorry." Kai to Alcyone on Ariko's constant desire for hugs.
"You should be! You had a year to train him out of that!" Alcyone
"I tried! At least he has stopped randomly hugging me while I'm in the kitchen making food." Kai
"Are you sure you two aren't married." Alcyone
"And there's chicks in bikinis getting hit with tomatoes" Ariko on the Fall Tomato throwing festival.
"Now you're talking." GM
"You know Old Realm? Since when!? You have an Int of 1!" Ariko
"Well, I wanted to write something in Old Realm so I learned." Kai
"You guys live at a school!" GM
"Aaaaand I botched." Kai after her roll
"Kai, you hear the hierarchy list and you could swear Alcyone is on the list." GM
"Kai will look very shocked, and stare at Alcyone. 'You are so powerful!' And Kai will bow and scrape the ground." Kai
"Alcyone will not stop this. She has no idea what is going on, but she won't object." Alcyone
"Yes Kai is broken again." Sora
"Kai is firmly believing this will work because she knows Alcyone is in the hierarchy down here." Kai
"Are you sure she botched?" Alcyone
"Guys, we got a problem. Kai's kinda compassionate." Kai
"Gonna freak out about the guys on the hooks?" Sora
"YEP!" Kai
"I'm actually okay with Kai dying. It gives me room to make even more crazy. Kai is a test run." Kai
"Oh that's comforting." Sora
"So what's our signal?" Sora
"Oh shit?" Kai
"Urusai, or no baka." Ariko
"The artifact is in the center." GM
"And that is our escape explosion. Kai has this all planned out." Kai
"Huh? Is anyone else confused?" Sora
"Kai is talking and you're listening." Alcyone
"Kai is a re-tard." Ariko
"Ariko, she has activated a charm." GM
"GET NAKED!" Alcyone
"And somewhere in Creation, Zuko is going - I sense a martial arts form, I want to know. Dammit!" Kai
"No, Zuko goes, I sense some pussies using martial arts with swords. Useless hacks!" Ariko
"I hear clicking of plotting against me." GM
"Alcyone knows mail boxes. I know explosives." Ariko
"Why don't you just hire him a hooker?" Kai
"Are you trying to bribed him? Cuz we keep offering him you!" Ariko
"Kill him with syphilis. I don't have syphilis." Kai
"Well you're not trying hard enough." Ariko
"Wow..." GM
"I have a jet pack in my ass." Kai
"So, the artifact is in the middle." Kai
"Yes" GM
"How many more motes does it need to explode?" Kai
"Let's say 20."GM
"Would Kai know how to fill it?" Kai
"Kai... Giant bomb in the room where we are stuck in and its attached to the person we are trying to rescue!" Ariko
"OMG you're scroll of the monkey-ing it? I'm the only one allowed to use that horrible book." Ariko
"Geeze, I need a cheat sheet." GM
"GM, I was wondering if I can drop a sheet of Adamant Glass on her." Ariko
"And hit Sora and Kai?" Alcyone
"They are vertical." GM
"I'm good at math!" Ariko
"You guys want me to do that really stupid thing?" Ariko
"YES!" Kai
"Someone I trust?" Ariko
"... stupid is okay at this point." Alcyone
"You said stupid's okay, right Alcyone?" Kai
"Yes, stupid's okay." Alcyone
"Ariko, as they pointed out, has an abacus built into her..." Ariko
"... But, what Ariko has just taken into account is the gravitational pull of Sora's chest, and that arrow is going down someplace she was not expecting to guard." Ariko
"2 Stunt dice." GM laughing
"That's a three dicer for the sheer audacity." Sora
"Three dice." GM laughing.
"8 successes on 6 dice!" Kai
"Why the fuck can't I get that on an attack!?" Ariko
"I flashed the dice generator." Kai
"That would work. It was made by me." GM
"I built my specialty in performance so I can do two at the same time." Sora
"Sora can totally do DVDA!" Ariko
"10 successes to shot an arrow into the back of her head... wait, can I ping her ass instead cuz its funnier?" Ariko
"So she's attacking which means she can't see me?" Kai
"Why do you think we did this Kai!?" Ariko
"Cuz it's funny?" Kai
"Above and beyond the fact Kai dying would be sad, Kai dying would decrease my charm across the board." Alcyone
"No no, keep them in your shirt - even when I was a guy, mine were more impressive." Sora on the Infernal exposing her chest cavity.
"You can't even touch your current boobage and you're comparing boobage?" Kai
"Kai, not now!" Sora
"Just add the words and I'll be the head." Sora
"Can I recognize that?" Ariko
"Certainly, roll something plus occult." GM
"Over the course of 4 seconds, she probably touched herself, stopped touching herself, then touched herself again." Alcyone when Mac is revealed as Ligier.
"Kai fucked Ligier.." Ariko singing.
"Kai's confused." Kai
"Oh fuck, I gave it mouth to mouth!" Sora
"Kai steps into the circle and you see her slow down." GM
"Cuz there's a demon baby in her stomach." Alcyone
"Ariko's like 'shouldn't we.. okay lets move out'" Ariko
"Alcyone isn't going to say anything, but this group is steadily accumulating secrets." Alcyone
"Because we are having a discussion of who the Wyld Hunt want more is not cool!" Alcyone
"Under certain circumstances, a 3rd level demon can be brought into Creation." GM
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. You are NOT summoning a fetiche Soul of Malfeas for a booty call!" Ariko
"Aw but I needed a date for the dance!" Kai
"I'm pretty sure Ligier coming to Creation will make even the Unconquered Sun sit up and say WTF!" Ariko
"I think on eof us needs to attune it and use it." Alcyone
"I got the motes!" Kai
"Uhh, I am the one people trust." Ariko
"Do we have Hix?" Ariko
"No" GM
"Well we were told get the girlfriend, not Hix. So technically we're good. Who wants to explain it to Hix's mom?" Ariko
"Seriously now, what does Sora need to know about if she needs to kill this guy." Sora
"That was well done you ken." GM
"I'm not tied to the bed, this time, am I?" Sora
"Not unless you want to be?" GM
"+5 permanent essence for a deep dicking." Ariko
"I don't think all the essence stays in there." GM
"We really need to push Kai down some stairs. I need to make an Adamant Coat Hanger." Ariko
"The womb rot may have dodge skills." GM
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The ducks are coming! The ducks are coming!
"I may have done something too weird to be funny, while drunk last night." Kai
"Damn it, I knew I needed to renew my webcam subscription!" Sora
"About damn time you got cut off for not paying! Where's the GM?" Kai
"Still watching the webcam archive?" Sora
"Are you worried about how to address the guy bound and gagged to the bed?" Sora
"No..." Kai
"Speaking from experience there?" GM
Kai then explains that she acquired a purse full of rubber duckie squirt toys from a party, took them home and put them in Ariko's bathroom. Kai got disgusted at the state of the bathroom, then cleaned it, and lined the duckies all up on the shower shelves. On another note, Kai went to work the next morning and discovered the same rubber duckies all lined up on her car dash board, one with a wing stuffed into the air vent, one placed in the sun roof, one hidden in the head rest, etc.
"He likes to watch 2 men in a bathtub playing with their... ahem... rubber duckies." GM
"As a teen, I rented a video, don't remember what it was, but there was a voyeur rubber ducky that would follow them around and make these hilarious faces while the people were fucking." Alcyone Link
"Kai, you have evil google capabilities." Sora
"It's cuz I have the safety searches turned off and I am not afraid to click a link." Kai
"Oh, pedo bear." Kai
"That's not the sort of tone you should have." GM
"Oh god, I am watching... I can't turn away... It's like a deranged version of the muppets... Oh no... A hippo! Oh, I am done here, there are things I can't unsee!" Sora
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kai Link
"Bag is closed, down beside me... I'm a good student.. I'm a good student." Kai
"You keep telling yourself that." Alcyone
"Martial Artists don't need a weapon, your body is your weapon." Alcyone
"There is some serious Freudian shit going on and you're carrying a stick instead of a dick." Alcyone
"Oh, now I don't want my stick!" Alcyone
"That's all it ever is for you.. Penis penis penis." Sora
"Just trying to give you what you want." GM
"Sora is lawful good." Sora
"Yes, unfortunately, but I will fix that don't worry!" Kai
"I've got a stick in my dorm room, you wanna go see my stick?" GM as a boy to Sora
"They are all Lesbians... But they are not all butch lesbians!" GM
"Good one, GM, I've never had a fortune cookie go up my nose." Sora
"I got skillz." GM
"I don't know, roll perception-horny teenager." GM
"Dig that grave a little deeper." Sora
"If that's the way you like it!" Kai
"Kai's got her now, which could be problematic. But the faster she gets used to Kai, the better." Alcyone
"Ariko's not here, so the die roller has chosen me to be it's bitch for the day." Sora
"You know that, but to Sora these are only a few weeks old. They are fairly young." Sora on her boobs
"And firm.. and ripe." GM
"Knowing what the stick represents you're going to poke him with a stick.." Alcyone
"Thank you peanut gallery!" Sora
""I'm going to brandish my stick at him, and poke him in the nose." Sora
"You're going to jpaff him!" Alcyone
"Sora will run up there all willy nilly, not thinking things through because there is just that one brain cell... And Sora, Kai may need to borrow your penis." Kai
"I'm sorry what?" Sora
"Oh, your stick." Kai
"I'm so not used to these things getting in the way." Sora on her boobs again.
"You're blaming your boobs." Kai
"Are you blaming your TITS?" Alcyone
"I was just at my job calculating stuff and I found out last month I had 20% adult material.." Kai
"So, incidentally the delivery girl was very attractive" The GM after he had to answer his door for dinner
"Did we embarass you?" Kai
"Well, I stepped out and closed my door." GM
"So what we need is a remote volume control and say loudly, GM invite her in for a 3some." Kai
"You're hitting him with a stick, you're giving him an STD and you could have made it harder." Alcyone when Sora's stick does poison damage.
"Oh he's got friends, do I have my daiklaive on me?" Kai
"Ha! You're at school, you probably don't have your daiklaive." Alcyone
"On the one hand that's true on the other... KAI!" GM
"Are they exalted?" Kai
"Yes" GM
"Do they have my last name?" Kai
"No." GM
"Then I can murder them." Kai
"That's not how this works, Kai." GM
"His two friends go 'awwww shit... can we talk this out?'" GM
"No! YOU HAVE UPSET THE PRESIDENT!" Kai
"And you speak in the 3rd person. You're insane." Alcyone
"Okay, so Exalts glow... Do any bits of the body glow more?" Kai
"Dragon blooded glow in patterns - so Acorns." GM
"Oh its got to be Acorns." Alcyone
"GM, why were you thinking about his dick." Kai
"He's an NPC, and its my responsibility." GM
"Why were you thinking about his dick in Sora's vagina?" Kai
"Right now he's face down and someone is wondering about the new sprinklerhead." Sora
"This is why Kai is President... Because she is batshit insane!" Alcyone
"Not to delay the game, but I watched an anime with Kai almost verbatim except she's a genius!" Alcyone
"Sora's used to them running and screaming away." Sora
"You know what helps with that? Makeup!" Kai
"Yay! Roommate are the best! Kai will hug Alcyone!" Kai
".... Alcyone will hug Kai back." Alcyone
"Had to think about that one for a bit?" GM
"Normally Kai is not the source of an insight, but.." Alcyone
""She's like a Malkavian. She see's stuff that's not there!" Sora
"Alcyone will ask Kai if she has something to share." Alcyone
"Well, Kai does have some chocolate in her bag she would like to share." Kai
"Yes, that is about what I'd expect." Alcyone
"As she is walking along is there a pattern spider stuck in the back of her head.. HEY NO! I'm stuck!" Sora
Link from Kai
"Uhm, that's bizarre Kai, but I can't stop watching!" GM
"what the fuck.." Sora
Link
"....What?" GM
"AHH!!! NOOOO!!! Your internet privileges are revoked!" Sora
And the GM weighs in
"4:16 of what the fuck!" GM
"And that is 1/4 of a show..." Alcyone
"Uh huh!" GM extremely happy
"You know those chicks are haunted and will come out to lick your genitals." Alcyone on the rubber duckies
"Well they are haunted pussy lickin' ducks so that isn't much use for us dudes." GM
"Damn it, I knew I needed to renew my webcam subscription!" Sora
"About damn time you got cut off for not paying! Where's the GM?" Kai
"Still watching the webcam archive?" Sora
"Are you worried about how to address the guy bound and gagged to the bed?" Sora
"No..." Kai
"Speaking from experience there?" GM
Kai then explains that she acquired a purse full of rubber duckie squirt toys from a party, took them home and put them in Ariko's bathroom. Kai got disgusted at the state of the bathroom, then cleaned it, and lined the duckies all up on the shower shelves. On another note, Kai went to work the next morning and discovered the same rubber duckies all lined up on her car dash board, one with a wing stuffed into the air vent, one placed in the sun roof, one hidden in the head rest, etc.
"He likes to watch 2 men in a bathtub playing with their... ahem... rubber duckies." GM
"As a teen, I rented a video, don't remember what it was, but there was a voyeur rubber ducky that would follow them around and make these hilarious faces while the people were fucking." Alcyone Link
"Kai, you have evil google capabilities." Sora
"It's cuz I have the safety searches turned off and I am not afraid to click a link." Kai
"Oh, pedo bear." Kai
"That's not the sort of tone you should have." GM
"Oh god, I am watching... I can't turn away... It's like a deranged version of the muppets... Oh no... A hippo! Oh, I am done here, there are things I can't unsee!" Sora
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kai Link
"Bag is closed, down beside me... I'm a good student.. I'm a good student." Kai
"You keep telling yourself that." Alcyone
"Martial Artists don't need a weapon, your body is your weapon." Alcyone
"There is some serious Freudian shit going on and you're carrying a stick instead of a dick." Alcyone
"Oh, now I don't want my stick!" Alcyone
"That's all it ever is for you.. Penis penis penis." Sora
"Just trying to give you what you want." GM
"Sora is lawful good." Sora
"Yes, unfortunately, but I will fix that don't worry!" Kai
"I've got a stick in my dorm room, you wanna go see my stick?" GM as a boy to Sora
"They are all Lesbians... But they are not all butch lesbians!" GM
"Good one, GM, I've never had a fortune cookie go up my nose." Sora
"I got skillz." GM
"I don't know, roll perception-horny teenager." GM
"Dig that grave a little deeper." Sora
"If that's the way you like it!" Kai
"Kai's got her now, which could be problematic. But the faster she gets used to Kai, the better." Alcyone
"Ariko's not here, so the die roller has chosen me to be it's bitch for the day." Sora
"You know that, but to Sora these are only a few weeks old. They are fairly young." Sora on her boobs
"And firm.. and ripe." GM
"Knowing what the stick represents you're going to poke him with a stick.." Alcyone
"Thank you peanut gallery!" Sora
""I'm going to brandish my stick at him, and poke him in the nose." Sora
"You're going to jpaff him!" Alcyone
"Sora will run up there all willy nilly, not thinking things through because there is just that one brain cell... And Sora, Kai may need to borrow your penis." Kai
"I'm sorry what?" Sora
"Oh, your stick." Kai
"I'm so not used to these things getting in the way." Sora on her boobs again.
"You're blaming your boobs." Kai
"Are you blaming your TITS?" Alcyone
"I was just at my job calculating stuff and I found out last month I had 20% adult material.." Kai
"So, incidentally the delivery girl was very attractive" The GM after he had to answer his door for dinner
"Did we embarass you?" Kai
"Well, I stepped out and closed my door." GM
"So what we need is a remote volume control and say loudly, GM invite her in for a 3some." Kai
"You're hitting him with a stick, you're giving him an STD and you could have made it harder." Alcyone when Sora's stick does poison damage.
"Oh he's got friends, do I have my daiklaive on me?" Kai
"Ha! You're at school, you probably don't have your daiklaive." Alcyone
"On the one hand that's true on the other... KAI!" GM
"Are they exalted?" Kai
"Yes" GM
"Do they have my last name?" Kai
"No." GM
"Then I can murder them." Kai
"That's not how this works, Kai." GM
"His two friends go 'awwww shit... can we talk this out?'" GM
"No! YOU HAVE UPSET THE PRESIDENT!" Kai
"And you speak in the 3rd person. You're insane." Alcyone
"Okay, so Exalts glow... Do any bits of the body glow more?" Kai
"Dragon blooded glow in patterns - so Acorns." GM
"Oh its got to be Acorns." Alcyone
"GM, why were you thinking about his dick." Kai
"He's an NPC, and its my responsibility." GM
"Why were you thinking about his dick in Sora's vagina?" Kai
"Right now he's face down and someone is wondering about the new sprinklerhead." Sora
"This is why Kai is President... Because she is batshit insane!" Alcyone
"Not to delay the game, but I watched an anime with Kai almost verbatim except she's a genius!" Alcyone
"Sora's used to them running and screaming away." Sora
"You know what helps with that? Makeup!" Kai
"Yay! Roommate are the best! Kai will hug Alcyone!" Kai
".... Alcyone will hug Kai back." Alcyone
"Had to think about that one for a bit?" GM
"Normally Kai is not the source of an insight, but.." Alcyone
""She's like a Malkavian. She see's stuff that's not there!" Sora
"Alcyone will ask Kai if she has something to share." Alcyone
"Well, Kai does have some chocolate in her bag she would like to share." Kai
"Yes, that is about what I'd expect." Alcyone
"As she is walking along is there a pattern spider stuck in the back of her head.. HEY NO! I'm stuck!" Sora
Link from Kai
"Uhm, that's bizarre Kai, but I can't stop watching!" GM
"what the fuck.." Sora
Link
"....What?" GM
"AHH!!! NOOOO!!! Your internet privileges are revoked!" Sora
And the GM weighs in
"4:16 of what the fuck!" GM
"And that is 1/4 of a show..." Alcyone
"Uh huh!" GM extremely happy
"You know those chicks are haunted and will come out to lick your genitals." Alcyone on the rubber duckies
"Well they are haunted pussy lickin' ducks so that isn't much use for us dudes." GM
Sunday, July 08, 2012
We Four Girls of Dragonblood Are...
"And no, Kai. In that case we lock the door and pretend we aren't home." Sora
"Right, cuz Kai is the one we are ashamed of." Ariko
"The world is a better place when I can bring shame to others." Kai
"As soon as he flicked the web, I could hear all the spiders say 'oh no he didn't!'" Sora
"Sora, why are the spiders in your mind all black?" Kai
"I know my personal trainer and his girlfriend are going dressed as the werewolf and vampire chick from underworld." Sora
"You could have said the people from underworld." Ariko
"Does she have the ass to pull it off." Alcyone
"Yes.." Sora after much hemming and hawing.
"Sora wants to bang his personal trainer's girlfriend and it looks forward to the ass kicking from his personal trainer." GM
"I don't want to download something that has Justin Bieber on the front page." Kai
"Then... don't." GM
"No! I've already downloaded this, Kai doesn't get to not be in on this." Ariko
*Kai delivering a beer to Ariko* "Who got pregnant?" Kai
"Sora is pregnant." Ariko
"Congratulations! What are you going to name it." Kai
*Silence*
"I don't think he's talking to me anymore." Kai
"Well, Kai's packing the travelocity gnome and a camera!" Kai
"You should totally take that gnome as a familiar." GM
"Can I get it for free?" Kai
"No, but you're working on it." GM
"Is it bad I imagined demons singing, 'swing low, sweet chariot.' as he mentioned working songs?" Ariko
"Sora is still in culture shock staring at the city." Sora
"Kai will lean over and say to Sora. Sora, show 'em your tits." Kai
"WHAT?" Alcyone
"On a boat of women, you go to the women and say that you are too pretty to look like a girl but the rest of you are okay." Alcyone when Sora attempts to talk the party out of dressing her up as a girl.
"Kai is off crying because you called her ugly." Kai
"No I didn't!" Sora
"What's your socialize?" Ariko
"One" Sora
"You called her ugly." Ariko
"Moderately stupid is okay. Fucking stupid has to be stopped." Alcyone
"Okay Sora, we can get this for Sora for you." Kai Link
"Do I want to click that?" Sora
"Bout time that reflex showed up." Alcyone
*Kai unleashes another link *
"Is that..." Sora
"I'd hit it." Ariko
"Oh that's just their heads!" Sora catching on.
"You didn't realize that at first? It's a photoshop!" Ariko
"I'm Jeff." GM
"The god of Biscuits?" Ariko
"It is exceedingly difficult to fail to recognize and anathema." GM smugly.
*Kai rolls a double botch.* "What was it you were saying about exceedingly difficult to fail?" Kai
"We will get to Kai in a moment." GM
"Can we please not get to Kai." Alcyone
"Ariko is going to look at Kai and Sora and go, shit... please be dumb... please be dumb." Ariko
"Kai, that tattoo is awesome... You think it would look hot on you." GM
"Kai will push to the front and say, oh my god, that looks AMAZING! Your tattoo is awesome!" Kai
"Bancho-Fan on Kai!" Ariko
"Perv. That's what Ariko is thinking. The only reason someone would be interested in Sora is because she is wicked hot." Ariko
"Ask me about page 37 of that book." Ariko
"Book? What book? I don't understand!" Kai
"Shutup Kai!" Ariko
"Regardless of this, Sora's of the mind that we are all going to get hurt." Sora
"But you like pain!" Kai
"There's nothing like girl on girl but nothing beats a good dicking." Ariko
"Spoken like a true expert." GM
"Or so I've been told..." Ariko
"Yeah too late." GM
"The cup is a font of vitriol!" GM
"Ohhhh.... Balllllllls...." Ariko
"Florivet spreads his wings and offers his hands to whichever of you wants to take it." GM
"WHEEE!!! FALCOR!!!" Ariko
"He's got a dogs head, eagles eyes, and wings of an owl." GM
"We got it. He's a platypus." Ariko
"You're more retarded than Kai." Alcyone
"I at least studied harder." Sora
"That makes it sadder." Alcyone
"So once again the universe is revolving around Sora. You make a perfect girl - the universe revolves around you." Kai
"From now on, every time Sora botches, the universe revolves around Sora." Alcyone
"If you have an orifice, he has a tentacle that will fit the orifice." Alcyone
"Wow..." GM
"We should light them on fire." Kai resorting to the sure fire methods.
"No, I don't think lighting them on fire at this point is a good idea." Alcyone
"Sora does dream of a lot of people kicking his ass." Kai
"Well he is into that." Ariko
"You're intentionally asking about Sora's masturbation habits. I don't know why you think I'd find it odd." Alcyone
"Hey, it's not like I answered her out loud so you could all hear!" Sora.
"Right, cuz Kai is the one we are ashamed of." Ariko
"The world is a better place when I can bring shame to others." Kai
"As soon as he flicked the web, I could hear all the spiders say 'oh no he didn't!'" Sora
"Sora, why are the spiders in your mind all black?" Kai
"I know my personal trainer and his girlfriend are going dressed as the werewolf and vampire chick from underworld." Sora
"You could have said the people from underworld." Ariko
"Does she have the ass to pull it off." Alcyone
"Yes.." Sora after much hemming and hawing.
"Sora wants to bang his personal trainer's girlfriend and it looks forward to the ass kicking from his personal trainer." GM
"I don't want to download something that has Justin Bieber on the front page." Kai
"Then... don't." GM
"No! I've already downloaded this, Kai doesn't get to not be in on this." Ariko
*Kai delivering a beer to Ariko* "Who got pregnant?" Kai
"Sora is pregnant." Ariko
"Congratulations! What are you going to name it." Kai
*Silence*
"I don't think he's talking to me anymore." Kai
"Well, Kai's packing the travelocity gnome and a camera!" Kai
"You should totally take that gnome as a familiar." GM
"Can I get it for free?" Kai
"No, but you're working on it." GM
"Is it bad I imagined demons singing, 'swing low, sweet chariot.' as he mentioned working songs?" Ariko
"Sora is still in culture shock staring at the city." Sora
"Kai will lean over and say to Sora. Sora, show 'em your tits." Kai
"WHAT?" Alcyone
"On a boat of women, you go to the women and say that you are too pretty to look like a girl but the rest of you are okay." Alcyone when Sora attempts to talk the party out of dressing her up as a girl.
"Kai is off crying because you called her ugly." Kai
"No I didn't!" Sora
"What's your socialize?" Ariko
"One" Sora
"You called her ugly." Ariko
"Moderately stupid is okay. Fucking stupid has to be stopped." Alcyone
"Okay Sora, we can get this for Sora for you." Kai Link
"Do I want to click that?" Sora
"Bout time that reflex showed up." Alcyone
*Kai unleashes another link *
"Is that..." Sora
"I'd hit it." Ariko
"Oh that's just their heads!" Sora catching on.
"You didn't realize that at first? It's a photoshop!" Ariko
"I'm Jeff." GM
"The god of Biscuits?" Ariko
"It is exceedingly difficult to fail to recognize and anathema." GM smugly.
*Kai rolls a double botch.* "What was it you were saying about exceedingly difficult to fail?" Kai
"We will get to Kai in a moment." GM
"Can we please not get to Kai." Alcyone
"Ariko is going to look at Kai and Sora and go, shit... please be dumb... please be dumb." Ariko
"Kai, that tattoo is awesome... You think it would look hot on you." GM
"Kai will push to the front and say, oh my god, that looks AMAZING! Your tattoo is awesome!" Kai
"Bancho-Fan on Kai!" Ariko
"Perv. That's what Ariko is thinking. The only reason someone would be interested in Sora is because she is wicked hot." Ariko
"Ask me about page 37 of that book." Ariko
"Book? What book? I don't understand!" Kai
"Shutup Kai!" Ariko
"Regardless of this, Sora's of the mind that we are all going to get hurt." Sora
"But you like pain!" Kai
"There's nothing like girl on girl but nothing beats a good dicking." Ariko
"Spoken like a true expert." GM
"Or so I've been told..." Ariko
"Yeah too late." GM
"The cup is a font of vitriol!" GM
"Ohhhh.... Balllllllls...." Ariko
"Florivet spreads his wings and offers his hands to whichever of you wants to take it." GM
"WHEEE!!! FALCOR!!!" Ariko
"He's got a dogs head, eagles eyes, and wings of an owl." GM
"We got it. He's a platypus." Ariko
"You're more retarded than Kai." Alcyone
"I at least studied harder." Sora
"That makes it sadder." Alcyone
"So once again the universe is revolving around Sora. You make a perfect girl - the universe revolves around you." Kai
"From now on, every time Sora botches, the universe revolves around Sora." Alcyone
"If you have an orifice, he has a tentacle that will fit the orifice." Alcyone
"Wow..." GM
"We should light them on fire." Kai resorting to the sure fire methods.
"No, I don't think lighting them on fire at this point is a good idea." Alcyone
"Sora does dream of a lot of people kicking his ass." Kai
"Well he is into that." Ariko
"You're intentionally asking about Sora's masturbation habits. I don't know why you think I'd find it odd." Alcyone
"Hey, it's not like I answered her out loud so you could all hear!" Sora.
Monday, July 02, 2012
Fighting for the right!
"If you had wanted to start early, i have heard of some amazing new technologies that have been, in military testing, capable of sending messages directly to other people in the country. Some folks, I hear, might even have devices capable of receiving these messages in their homes, or on their persons even. Perhaps even equipped with some manner of auditory alert or klaxon to let them know that someone else had a desire to communicate with them." Ariko
"Yesterday, we go to a movie. As I am walking into the bathroom, for some reason the theater has the hand dryers at about crotch level, and there is a guy there in what I can only describe as the football receiver position. So while I am at the urinal, I hear the one thing that most guys do not want to hear while they have their dicks in their hands. 'It's so warm... it's so... warm.' Unfortunately the guy leaves before I finish so I can't educate him on the solemn silence of the bathroom etiquette." Ariko
"Keep sucking some cock" Kai to Sora
"[mutual friend] would be proud!" Alcyone
"OH NO!" Sora becomes speechless in fury.
"Why are you suddenly channeling Hedonism bot, GM?" Ariko
"When you turn around, Florivet is looking very trust-worthy." GM
"Yeah... right." Alcyone
"Raise your hand if you think we can take Veridian Mantle on this.... KAI! That was a rhetorical question, put your hand down!" Ariko
"Hey, how did you know!?" Kai
"Do we know what these cultists costumes look like?" Alcyone
"Of course, dear." GM in character
"Do we know what these cultists look like without his god awful help." Alcyone
"Have you ever considered dressing like a mountain folk?" GM
"The what?" Ariko
"You get one PC knocked up and here come the jokes." Sora
"You rape one PC...." Ariko
"Hey, they were willing participants... at least in my game." Sora
"The fact that our 2nd circle demon is too sexy for his shirt is one thing.." Ariko
""You can act just like a cultist because you are a deviant." Ariko
"Cuz she's a homosexual?" Kai
"Yes." Ariko
"So all cultists are homosexuals?" Kai
"No, all homosexuals are deviants." Ariko
"If the Dean is in creation, she's down with it. It's Exalted. It's basically one giant fuck-it. You want to fuck a mountain? Go for it!" Ariko
"She will flick his bones!" Ariko
"Wait... did you say.." Alcyone
"Erabolus shows up when motherfuckers learn too much, and he makes that not happen..." Ariko
"So, he will never meet Kai." Kai
"Pretty much." Ariko
"Is your cat having visions again?" Sora
"No, he's just hungry and he doesn't get fed for another 2.5 hours." Alcyone
"I was just assuming [She who will kick all of our asses] was spinning him by his tail." Ariko
"Well that would explain the oscillation." Sora
"I know EVERYThIIIIIIIING!!" Ariko
"Correct me if I am wrong, but the only thing able to have multiple souls is a Yozi." Ariko
"It's a Horcrux!" Kai
"I would attempt to formulate an answer, but Kai just crashed the system." Sora
"Ariko want knowledge and she's not hiding it." Ariko
"I am not fucking Sora for that." Kai
"Back to the issue at hand." Ariko
"Yes, how are we going to kill ourselves." Kai
"Sought!" Alcyone
"What the fuck did you hear?" Ariko
"Saw... And then I was like that doesn't make sense." GM
"Does Mac have a soul?" Ariko
"Yes." GM
"What is he, a Ginger?" Sora
"What happens if it goes wrong?" Sora
"It won't." Sora
"What's your compassion?" GM
"One." Alcyone
"Yep, you're a sociopath." GM
"Sora has not been playing a Temperance of One." Alcyone
"WHORE!" Ariko
"Yes, she's probably trying to hook up with one of you, because that shit's addictive." GM on Sora's lack of virginity and temperance.
"Go for Alcyone, cuz she's cold on the outside but once you reach the center its nice and warm." Kai
"And Gooey!" Ariko
"Ewww..." Sora
"Like warm apple pie." Ariko
"Why can't Alcyone and I agree?" Ariko
"Because you're always wrong!" Alcyone
"Thank you, Alcyone!" Kai
"Stupid fucking manse, I'm so glad I filled it with rocks." GM
"I once whispered in a girls ear while fucking, Ah na Cthulu na... and it didn't end well." GM
"Well that and you only lasted 30 seconds..." Ariko
"It's vibrating strings of defense." Sora
"You said vibrating... teehee." Kai
"Sora is fighting for the recognition of his twat!" Ariko
"I think I need to buy this for somebody, and I don't know who." Ariko on 50 shades of grey.
"GM, I will give you 50 bucks if you give that to your mother." Ariko
"Oh god, I'm pretty sure she would say, "GM, What the hell...?" " GM
"Or, I've already read this." Kai
"Do not want!" GM
"I caved in, because I didn't want to spend willpower on it." Sora on why she spend a night with Lynds
"Wait, this is the best excuse ever, Not I didn't want it, not anything else, but I didn't want to spend the willpower." Ariko
"You didn't have to enjoy it!" GM
"But it is a lot more fun if you do!" Kai creepily cheery
"Wow... just the tone of voice." Sora
"Yesterday, we go to a movie. As I am walking into the bathroom, for some reason the theater has the hand dryers at about crotch level, and there is a guy there in what I can only describe as the football receiver position. So while I am at the urinal, I hear the one thing that most guys do not want to hear while they have their dicks in their hands. 'It's so warm... it's so... warm.' Unfortunately the guy leaves before I finish so I can't educate him on the solemn silence of the bathroom etiquette." Ariko
"Keep sucking some cock" Kai to Sora
"[mutual friend] would be proud!" Alcyone
"OH NO!" Sora becomes speechless in fury.
"Why are you suddenly channeling Hedonism bot, GM?" Ariko
"When you turn around, Florivet is looking very trust-worthy." GM
"Yeah... right." Alcyone
"Raise your hand if you think we can take Veridian Mantle on this.... KAI! That was a rhetorical question, put your hand down!" Ariko
"Hey, how did you know!?" Kai
"Do we know what these cultists costumes look like?" Alcyone
"Of course, dear." GM in character
"Do we know what these cultists look like without his god awful help." Alcyone
"Have you ever considered dressing like a mountain folk?" GM
"The what?" Ariko
"You get one PC knocked up and here come the jokes." Sora
"You rape one PC...." Ariko
"Hey, they were willing participants... at least in my game." Sora
"The fact that our 2nd circle demon is too sexy for his shirt is one thing.." Ariko
""You can act just like a cultist because you are a deviant." Ariko
"Cuz she's a homosexual?" Kai
"Yes." Ariko
"So all cultists are homosexuals?" Kai
"No, all homosexuals are deviants." Ariko
"If the Dean is in creation, she's down with it. It's Exalted. It's basically one giant fuck-it. You want to fuck a mountain? Go for it!" Ariko
"She will flick his bones!" Ariko
"Wait... did you say.." Alcyone
"Erabolus shows up when motherfuckers learn too much, and he makes that not happen..." Ariko
"So, he will never meet Kai." Kai
"Pretty much." Ariko
"Is your cat having visions again?" Sora
"No, he's just hungry and he doesn't get fed for another 2.5 hours." Alcyone
"I was just assuming [She who will kick all of our asses] was spinning him by his tail." Ariko
"Well that would explain the oscillation." Sora
"I know EVERYThIIIIIIIING!!" Ariko
"Correct me if I am wrong, but the only thing able to have multiple souls is a Yozi." Ariko
"It's a Horcrux!" Kai
"I would attempt to formulate an answer, but Kai just crashed the system." Sora
"Ariko want knowledge and she's not hiding it." Ariko
"I am not fucking Sora for that." Kai
"Back to the issue at hand." Ariko
"Yes, how are we going to kill ourselves." Kai
"Sought!" Alcyone
"What the fuck did you hear?" Ariko
"Saw... And then I was like that doesn't make sense." GM
"Does Mac have a soul?" Ariko
"Yes." GM
"What is he, a Ginger?" Sora
"What happens if it goes wrong?" Sora
"It won't." Sora
"What's your compassion?" GM
"One." Alcyone
"Yep, you're a sociopath." GM
"Sora has not been playing a Temperance of One." Alcyone
"WHORE!" Ariko
"Yes, she's probably trying to hook up with one of you, because that shit's addictive." GM on Sora's lack of virginity and temperance.
"Go for Alcyone, cuz she's cold on the outside but once you reach the center its nice and warm." Kai
"And Gooey!" Ariko
"Ewww..." Sora
"Like warm apple pie." Ariko
"Why can't Alcyone and I agree?" Ariko
"Because you're always wrong!" Alcyone
"Thank you, Alcyone!" Kai
"Stupid fucking manse, I'm so glad I filled it with rocks." GM
"I once whispered in a girls ear while fucking, Ah na Cthulu na... and it didn't end well." GM
"Well that and you only lasted 30 seconds..." Ariko
"It's vibrating strings of defense." Sora
"You said vibrating... teehee." Kai
"Sora is fighting for the recognition of his twat!" Ariko
"I think I need to buy this for somebody, and I don't know who." Ariko on 50 shades of grey.
"GM, I will give you 50 bucks if you give that to your mother." Ariko
"Oh god, I'm pretty sure she would say, "GM, What the hell...?" " GM
"Or, I've already read this." Kai
"Do not want!" GM
"I caved in, because I didn't want to spend willpower on it." Sora on why she spend a night with Lynds
"Wait, this is the best excuse ever, Not I didn't want it, not anything else, but I didn't want to spend the willpower." Ariko
"You didn't have to enjoy it!" GM
"But it is a lot more fun if you do!" Kai creepily cheery
"Wow... just the tone of voice." Sora
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