wheeee

"if 90% of the people don't understand the rules as written, it needs an erata." Tijo
"But that would keep them from getting top comment." Roc

"He's got half-elf friends, so its ok." Lenore

"Velika's going to get a weird look on her face and offer the guy a muffin."  Velika
"Oh god, the muffin disease is spreading."  Tijo
"Trans-dimensional Muffin Disease" Roc

"With 17 insight, is that racist looking or is that interesting looking." Tijo

So about that.

Lenore: So I'm going to use minor illusion and over the kids heads where they can't see, put a stabbing dagger image with a Y/N? after.


Lenore: And still, for as creepy as this is, if Lenore was talking this would be waaay worse.

Tijo: Okay, I'm going to take a gold coin and find some six year old girls who can say things.  Nothing is creepier than threats and dark things coming from an innocent little girl.  Loading up the sound box!

We are horrible people and need help

"8 damage total?" Velika
"But I like to think of it that you said they were flammable."  Tijo regarding the suspicious chickens in the kitchen.

"Guys, I think these chickens are paranormally related to Brawktholomew."  Velika

"Our own stupidity is going to kill the party... wait this isn't new." Velika
"That's what I'm counting on." Tijo

FEAST OF LEGENDS: Rise from the Deep Freeze

Yes, yes we are playing this.

"Remember boys, when you see my penis try to give it a piece of cheese." GM

'I'm watching you...  you may run for the border eventually."  Beefcake
"HAH!  He just called you taco bell!" CoolRanch

"But there is some meat in me."  Texas
"play your cards right and you could have some more." GM

"I said this was dumb as hell." GM

"Hey Texas, that means you shove your meat in his face."  CoolRanch

"Beefcake, this thing took another bite and this time it is savoring the flavor."  GM
"Do you hear that?  They are calling your number!  FUCK!" Beefcake

"You keep this up and the next thing you get is the bean." Texas

"I'm having some difficulty grabbing my guy now." Texas

"It's a cup.  Beef doesn't go into a cup! Chili goes into cups!" GM
"Beef goes into chili!" Texas
"Texas, did you just proposition me?!" Beefcake

fuck this place... this place doesn't even want to help itself.

OOC
"So, the nephew is gonna kill the uncle and take over this place and he's compromised."  Olru
"Oh yeah... this whole city is disappointing me now."Leon

"Lady DD likes him." Zaphod
"If the boobs like him, he's ok." Olru

"so you go into the bank and what do you do." GM
"Do you guys have a coin counter thing?" Raz
"Fantasy coin star." Leon

"I'm on to the three maids instead of the drunken fish.  This seems a step up." Leon

"If you want to sit at the table with the rest of us, you need to see over the table....... Listen, this isn't the sort of place which has gum on the underside of the table for you to eat." Leon getting Zaphod a booster seat.

"How do even do a D3?" Zaphod
"D6 divided by two."  GM and Olru
"Uh Zaphod... thats a d8." Leon

"So you kick me through and I'm mad.  Our people are dignifie.." Zaphod
"Can't stealth when you're talking." Olru
"I love that's a go to now." Leon

"It's just full of swollen wood.  Just stroke it a bit." Olru

Who do we impress?

"I propose we impress the governess and not the rent-a-cock."  Lenore

"If we get her wet, he scores and everybody's happy" Lenore

"Lets just say we all circle jerk with bardic inspiration" Lenore

"You don't want to know what he did to the mashed potatoes" Lenore
"Making them extra cream


"I can fly" Tijo
"I can touch the sky." Velika
"I think about it every night and day" Birdman
"I refuse to be a part of this." Lenore

whaaaaaaaa

"Why do you ride when you can fly?" NPC
"There is much of the earth to hug and she will not let me leave for long." Tijo

You are an affront to the bird god.

"Is it weird that I'm playing the bird, but I fly less than everyone else in the party?" The Roc
"Yes, yes it is.  You are not using your wings properly, and are an affront to the bird god." Velika


"Velika is going off on her own.  This is the best plan." Tijo
"Yes, it's never gone wrong in any game.  But I didn't split the party" Velika
"Yes you did, you snuck into the camp on your own."  Lenore
"Well you didn't come with as my guidance!" Velika
"It only takes one of us to fuck up a stealth roll for both of us to be fucked, and you volunteered." Lenore


"Which two paragons did they list?" Tijo
"Sweitzer and Wolfstone" GM
"SWEITZER NO SWEITZING!"  Tijo

"I just love that the rogues have gone through this so much that when one of them steps on a twig they go 'fuck, I'm the bait now'" Tijo

"And now its Geld!" GM
"It's Gedd.."  Tijo
"Unless he's got his balls cut off." Velika
"What?" Tijo
"Gelded?" Velika
"I was looking at the d's and cutting of those balls."  Lenore
"It's got layers." The Roc

I'm a proud scurrying race.

"Lets not murder them this time, lets keep one alive."  Olru
"I didn't murder them!  I.... I don't think I murdered anyone."  Leon

"What kind of extortionist uses a bank?" Leon

"They are fine, it was a spite fire,"  Leon

"This is talking to an original NES NPC again isn't it."  Zaphod

"Forge Dawn... not Forged On."  GM
"Forge Dong.." Zaphod
"Wait, is their coat of arms a giant penis."  Olru
"No, its Forge Dong.. so penis on an anvil." Leon
"It's four dongs." Zaphod

"Good god.. thank god you're pretty.." Zaphod

"So uh, I see you're evles.  I am elf too!!!"  Leon
"I see you're mexican, I am mexican too!" GM

"I don't know her really well.  she knows me more than I know her." Raz
".........Uh huh." Leon
"This is because you don't wear pants, is it." Leon

"Ugh, disgusting elves.  Pointy eared cooking making assholes." GM

"I wanted the shiney thing.  Why didn't you tell me he had a shiney thing."  Zaphod

"I am a ___-ite, so my d's are soft." Zaphod
"So you like soft d's." Leon

"Elves has moms, right?" Zaphod
"I don't think Elves hatch from eggs."  Leon
"We do..." Zaphod

"Listen, if you don't start acting smarter, I'm going to put pants on you." Leon
"You think his smarts are leaking out of his taint?" Zaphod

"You're looking out at the sea, thinking thats a really nice ship and it'd be really nice to just sail away from these assholes."  GM
"Yeah, I'm just thinking of creating my own sea organization." Olru after the 14th time being called Elron

"If I were to take all of her skin and peel it off her, I could probably fit this all in 1 square foot." Leon
"Wow, this escalated quickly."  GM

"I like this idea.  Lets do this idea."  GM
"Great, the GM likes this I've got a back up character.

"Oh man, it probably comes out as dust at first." Leon about the Governor pooping.

D&D... its D&D!!!!

"Roll perception?" GM
"Well fuck you." Lenore

"Fuckit, I'm going super sayan next turn" Tijo


"Alright guys, there is only one thing we can do to help this man now." Tijo
"Light him on fire?" Velika
"We got to rock out.." Tijo

A new pathfinder with a new group

"The man with no pants is following the cleric."  Leon


"You swipe at him and he says, swiper stop swiping."  GM


"I"m concerned about my shop being destroyed" GM
"That's what the scimitar is for." Leon
"I don't know how to use this."  GM
"Well its a simple point and swing interface." Leon


"You're blue and you normally scream no take candle....  I don't know how to deal with this." Olru


"I come from Essum." Elven prince-ling
"Gesundheit."  Zaphod


"Did you want to do something to the dead bodies?"  GM
"Nnntz  nntz nntz"  Leon


"The Governor sits down and you can't really tell if he's sleeping or dead." GM
"That is my primary concern right now, if he dies, will I be blamed." Leon


"We'll follow you.  At least I'm not stalking around without pants." Leon

"I am looking for the Butler to assure him he was alive when I left."  Leon


"As a Tiefling, I am prone to be racially profiled and I don't want people to think I killed them"  Leon

Did I just make it into the quotes?

"You are the chloroform soaked rag of the group" GM to Ioni

So I said to my self... Self.... Lets do this.

"Margary put her dick in the box, forgetting that she's a woman... and..." Florence


"I don't want to build a club.  I want to find a club that has this shit down.  We're bad at this."  Caroline.

"I'm rolling for the skill up, not to help."  - Caroline

"It's 1920s?  Okay we're burning this place down because they are working with the Germans" - Florence

"So I pull a Ray and stare at the Viggo Mortenson picture?" Margary
"Not Viggo Mortenson.  Viggo would be a delightful picture to stare at." Florence


"GOD DAMMIT GM!" Florence

"So you skip down stairs all lithe and blithe?" GM
"YEAH.  I'm happy about this plan."  Florence

"Plan B is usually murdering things" GM
"To be honest, Plans A-G are usually murdering all the things." Ioni

We met Mr. Birb Sparkles

Zuko: Who can't see the birb?
Ioni: The blind woman.

Land of the Swamp Wiazrd

Margary: Dwarves probably use stones for [toilet paper].
GM: If you want to gravel your ass, go ahead.
Margary: Dwarves.  Not me.  They might smith something
GM: So a poop knife.

Caroline: if by friends you mean cut them up and dissect them, then yes.

Caroline: if we light the building on fire, we're arsonists.  If the fire kills somebody than that's not on us.

Florence: Whoopie Goldberg did that one terrible movie
Caroline: just the one?
Florence: I'll find it. 
Caroline: Don't look too hard.

Caroline: We're all kinda ugly, so we all can kinda pull off the Tootsie thing...  So unless someone is rocking huge knockers, you can tape that shit down.

Caroline: Don't fuckin' lie to us. 
GM: You don't know which way I'm going to lie on this.
Caroline: It's Call of Fuckin' Cthulhu... we know exactly which way you're lying.

It didn't have to be said, but it was.

Kadon: There are things he'd like to forget that he can't.

Ioni: I can't see as well as you can.

Mnemia: If you can't see as well as me, you're in trouble.

Ioni: I get distracted.  There's too much information around.

Mnemia: Mnemia is blind.

Ioni: Fine, what do your elf ears hear, Mnemia?  Can you hear a head attached to that person.

Mnemia: Don't get snippy with me.

Mnemia: So we can't go down there and just shoot him in the head and progress.

Ioni:  Ioni will jump out as long as its safe enough to not kill herself on the way down.

Ioni: What…  there's a whole subject noun verb thing going on that conveys meaning.  Finish the sentence.

Kadon: Jesus, Ioni is giving grammar lessons. 

Kadon: Look, Vampire guy.. What is your malfunction.

GM: Yeah, disappointed and with a touch of "you're teasing me"

Ioni: Yeah, you just went with 'just the tip'

Mnemia: if we have to make a roll with normal dice… god I feel dirty saying that… someone's going to fuck it up.

GM:  Ok but first I just wanna check something for a moment.  Because we haven't heard from him for a while.  Kadon, are you muted?

Kadon: GODDAMMIT!  I don't even remember what I was saying… God… Fucking fuck..