No peeing on shit.

"So how badly did you hurt your self?" GM
"Well, there may be extra protein with the fish, like I said."  Ioni
"Alrighty then." GM
"No, I did not hurt myself.  I am better with a knife than that."  Ioni
"Okay.....  For cooking right?"  GM
"... Suuure?"  Ioni

"So I discovered something called death battles today... or friday I guess now..."  GM
"Was this at your BDSM club?"  Ioni
"No." GM

"By the way, Ioni, if it was a date.  I would not have given you guys the option to say no.  And Zuko, fuck you."  GM

"... and that was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and they just blew up."  GM
"Way to go, GM, you broke them apart."  Zuko
"I was a cylon, I was only trying to kill them!" GM

"This will make Ioni more of a whore..." Zuko
"Woooo!" Ioni
"Sorry about that, what did I miss?"  GM
"Well we were going to remove the remove intimacies power and instead have the alchemical post fucking power."  Zuko
"Post... fucking... power?" GM
"Not literally post fucking.. the after fucking ability." Kadon
"I understand the grammar involved."  GM

"Just want to point out, someone should stop Mnemia from coming to whatever conlusion she's going to at this point."  Mnemia on a triple botch.
"What the fuck dude!" Zuko
"I'm helping."  Mnemia
"Wooooooow.  That's impressive."  Kadon



"I'm going to point out that Monkey Butler only wanted one of these people, of these flying monkey things."  Zuko
"To put his penis in.  I assume that's what you were alluding to." GM
"Right. If we could keep one of them around, I"m sure he'd appreciate it." Zuko
"Well I'm sure we could find him soemthing to fuck, it shouldn't be too hard."  Mnemia
"As I believe you yourself noted, I could just make some."  Kadon
"They'd probably be hotter too."  Mnemia
"The fact that we are contemplating hot monkies, is.."  Kadon
"What's this 'we' shit?  I'm over here trying to run a game."  GM
"Hot vicious monkey sex."  Zuko

"You're basking in your awesomeness."  GM
"Thought about it." Mnemia
"Got afterglow!" Ioni

"Zuko, you think she is a sucky ass guardian.  You would hope to god that if she was guarding your manse, you'd know already about solars wandering through it who are totemic.  Mnemia, you think she's off to call the guards.  Ioni, she is definitly out of it.  This animated intelligence you are dealing with, Ioni you would perhaps put it up to her being drunk, intoxicated or taken a blow to the head.  Kadon, you get a slower thought, if she's part of the manse, she should not be so flakey.[...]"  GM
"Awesome, well she's drunk." Ioni
"Mnemia is going to take off."  Mnemia
"Ioni's going to hole Mnemia's progress and say 'its okay its okay, she's drunk.'"  Ioni
"It's okay, it's okay, it's cool she's drunk.  This is from Ioni?  I don't think Mnemia waits for Ioni's explanation."  Mnemia
"I don't think Ioni can hold Mnemia back.  She's going along with that train as long as that train is going."  GM
"Most likely."  Ioni

"She's going down the summoning circle and killing everything."  Mnemia
"With Ioni cliiiinging to her shoulder."  Ioni
"Go ahead and kill everything, that's cool."  Kadon

"Hehehhe"  Ioni after a skype download.
"It could fit comfortably.... why Mnemia, why.  I don't even know if I want to click the button."  GM
"Hahahah." Kadon
"Am I going to be offended by this?[..]  Wow that took you like no time, dude."  Zuko
"[......]  What the hell.... There's something wrong with you, dude."  GM

"You say that with a little too much authority, GM.  Next time, try to convince us you don't fap to hentai."  Kadon
"Yeah GM."  Mnemia
"Cuz we certainly know that Kadon has never looked at hentai"  Zuko
"Obviously not.  I know nothing about anthropomorphic pollen."  Kadon
"That series is funny."  GM
"It really is."  Kadon
"The premis is... what?  the pollen is what?"  GM
"And its just... well, it's the pollen again."  Zuko
"Pollen is not that big!" GM
"The phrase I hate allergy season has never run less true."  Kadon
"Well for some of that, allergy season has a bit of an upside to it."  Zuko
"Unless you're a girl and straight... unless you're a guy."  GM
"Clearly we.."  Kadon
"We need to pull this conversation over..."  GM

"And just... to put my mind at ease.  Mnemia, please tell me you had to google for that image and you didn't have it on hand and ready to go..."  GM
"What do you mean?  That's July!" Zuko
"It's a preview GM! It's free!" Mnemia
"You're all horrible people." GM

"I was hoping he was like, lets find something on the internet and add myself to the FBI database now and not that I've had this on hand and now is the perfect time to use it."  GM

"She inquires weather or not you know she's bait for a trap, right?"  GM
"Yeah, we don't really care."  Zuko

"Are you fapping or talking to GM?" Zuko to Kadon
"I'm pressing buttons on my keyboard."  Kadon
"Note, he didn't rule both of them out."  Zuko
"I am navigating my space ships... shush."  Kadon

"So, I always carry a pair of jumper cables for Mnemia's war strider.." Kadon

"Basically you want [Ioni] to grab onto two poles and have the electricity go through her instead?" GM
"Yup!" Mnemia and Zuko
"Oh my gosh.  Kadon, roll me a smart person roll... for manse." GM resignedly.
"I offered to engineer a solution here earlier but no one wanted it."  Kadon
"I think they want to electrocute Ioni to see if they can get the stupid out."  Ioni

"You're going to have to lay down on this thing, so its going to be tingly for a little while."  GM
"Kinky?"  Ioni
"Wrong kind of tingle."  GM
"And all the vibrators in her pack go off all at once."  Mnemia
"Dammit, you guys weren't supposed to know about that."  Ioni
"And all the vibrators reach super speed.  They cannot take that much power captain!"  Zuko
"I just took a drink!  Don't do that!" GM
"How many times can Ioni cum while we lift this weight?"  Mnemia
"If she's into this kind of shit, ZIS is going to be jealous.  ZIS'd probably be all over this thing."  Zuko

"For the record, while Kadon's down there, Zuko will be like, Mnemia, it would be funny if we just dropped this on him."  Zuko
"If you make me laugh, I actually will drop it."  Mnemia
"At which point, Ioni might buzz out a joke and say so about this one whore who walked into a bar."  Ioni
"Fortunately it doesn't take that long for Kadon to fly back on up."  GM
"I can teleport out of here and leave you fuckers if you want."  Kadon

"Question... I was thinking Zuko might pee on something so that whoever owns this household, comes back and discovers it and can smell really well, gets pissed off a little."  Ioni
"Do not taunt... the psychotic Elder Lunar." Kadon
"Cuz she's gonna totally be fine with us stealing Fox back."  Mnemia
"Look, there is doing things she will disagree with violently, and then there is just being a dick about it."  Kadon
"Now I'm scratching, Dear Roxy, go fuck yourself - Kadon Cind."  Zuko
"When did you learn to write?"  Kadon
"I write it in Old Realm.  Besides, Ioni, pissing on things please....  I would j'paff Roxy if she were here.  Pissing on things is so last century.  Now breaking her entire tower until its a giant cock..."  Zuko
"Start punching out entire floors up top until you get a nice rounded head?" Mnemia
"Yup." Zuko

"I was just thinking marking territory."  Ioni
"Yeah, cuz that's the way to get to a Lunars heart."  GM
"I don't know, it's animalistic..." Ioni
"My plan to get to the Lunars heart is through her fucking chest.. with my fist."  Zuko

Painting Minis... right....

WOOT! DIE HARD MOVIE.  *Note: Turn on the closed captioning and select English as the beta translation.*

*swishing sounds*
"Taking bong hits over there?" Kadon
"Yeah, seriously."  Zuko
"No, I'm cleaning up a brush from painting miniatures."  Mnemia
"Would be way cooler if Mnemia was *inhale* don't know what you're talking about."  Zuko

"We have mined more science fiction references than my brain can hold at one time."  Kadon
"Is there nudity?"  Zuko
"Unless you count holo=graphic cleavage, not really."  Kadon
"Ugh... Men or womens."  Zuko
"Ass or boob?"  Ioni
"Basically I have seen everything."  Zuko

"Who is hacking into the DMV?"  Zuko
"Not me..... Kadon."  Ioni
"I'm still painting minis, finger quotes."  Mnemia
"Mnemia...." Zuko
"Do you have naked minis?"  Kadon
"Do you call your penis a mini?"  Zuko
"Thought the joke was that I was getting high."  Mnemia dead pan.
"Ohhhh, okay."  Zuko
"It's just so far out of character for you..."  Kadon
"Couldn't hold on to the joke for that long?"  Mnemia

"Pardon me, I have a mouth full of girl scouts cookie.  All the girl scouts around here are selling cookies."  GM
"Yeah, I have had to resist many a time."  Kadon
"You have your mouth full of a girl scouts cookie..."  Zuko
"While that is technically correct... NO.  It's the thin mints, they call me."  GM
"Is that your nick-name?"  Zuko
"Huh?"  GM
"Nothing, continue.  I'm being stupid."  Zuko
"Now I'm imagining how someone can get that as a nick-name...  Thin, that parts easy... but mint?"  GM

GM introduces his time management goals.  Ioni starts wondering about a daily mock up....
"Fast and furious tapping?"  GM
"Uhmmm kay...  that was probably me, but it wasn't related to what you were saying."  Zuko
"Okay, then I mock you... but lovingly."  GM
"Or it was me."  Kadon
"You're loving the butt?"  Ioni
"It really depends on whose butt it is."  GM
"What?!"  Kadon
"This is what happens when I respond to Ioni.  Everyone goes 'wha?'"  GM
"I know, you have all taken it upon yourselves to do the smartest thing possible and ignore half of what I say."  Ioni
"You guys hear something?"  Zuko
"Sadly I'm not the smart person of this group, so I listened to it anyway."  GM
"I have some people for you to meet, and you can just listen to them until you feel like you're stupid."  Ioni

"She's good at manipulation, she can get them to say Mnemia's name."  Kadon
"I forget... what's the name of the big giant sword carrying bitch who kills people?"  Zuko
"Sorry Zuko, that's not really narrowing it down in this game."  Kadon
"That's what Scarlet is saying to get them to say Mnemias name."  Mnemia

"I'd like to order a case of mirrors from Chiaruscuro and have them shipped to Yushan please?" Kadon
"A case of mirrors?" GM
"Never mind." Kadon
"Yeah, sorry Kadon, I didn't get that either buddy."  Zuko

"So we're gonna go bug Mercury."  Ioni
"Uhhh huh!" Zuko
"Well we're gonna start with polite conversation."  Mnemia
"When have we ever started with polite conversation?" Ioni
"Oh we start with polite conversation all the time, it doesn't usually last throughout the entire first sentence."  Mnemia
"In our defense, that first sentence often goes down in and dpppdrerdrper fuckin' da derpaboooba."  Zuko
"Well stated."  GM
"Idealy she see's us coming and goes... don't say a word.  Here's whats going on.  Cuz she knows she doesn't want to hear what we have to say."  Mnemia

"Does anyone actually think they can stop us?"  Zuko

"The Doctor thinks its actually a horrible idea to bother someone after multiple orgasm." GM
"Well that's when she's the most ammenable to new things."  Ioni
"Has The Doctor ever had sex with a woman?....... And been responsible for those multiple orgasms?"  Mnemia
"Yeeees.?"  GM
"It's not like a spider where she bites your head off afterward."  Mnemia
"I'll admit sometimes its hard for them to talk... I can understand its hard for her to talk, but its not 'oh man she's gonna kick your ass if you go talk to her now.'"  Zuko
"Especially when you are the source."  Mnemia
"If anything, she's going to want to cuddle."  Ioni
"Look, we found the incarnaes clitoris.  We are the worlds greatest detectives."  Zuko
"She's up for like massive amount of pillow talk here.  Lets get our learning on." Mnemia

"These pipes are cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeean."  Zuko

"Hang on, I'm fully exercising my brain."  GM
"I can smell the smoke from here." Zuko

"The floor, ceiling and walls are all of a reflective surface."  GM
"I'm greatful I'm wearing pants today!" Ioni
"Someone translate." GM
"Just what she said."  Kadon
"...kay...."  GM
"You're in a hall with a mirror floor!  We can see her hooha" Kadon
"Who hasn't!?" Zuko

"I am a medical examiner."  Kadon
"Who is constantly walking around with a hard on."  Zuko
"Damn thats a fine ass."  Ioni
"It's a brainer, don't worry." Zuko

"All I'm saying, is as much as we like the Doctor, if he doesn't stop his bitching or we're gonna make him rearrange a few more neighborhoods."  Zuko
"Excuse him if he doesn't want to be associated with a people who are about to piss off not only a god, but his!"  GM
"Well she'll be praying 'oh god, more more more' or 'fuck damn fuck damn oh shit fuck damn.'"  Ioni
"Is that me?  Hang on."  Kadon

*tinkle tinkle*
"Whose peeing?"  Zuko
"Mnemia"  Ioni
"It's the mini's.  It's still the same cup of water!"  Mnemia
"I know, it just sounds like you're tinkling."  Zuko
"It's either that or it's Kadon."  Ioni
"Well Kadon is away, if thats the sound of water on his side, he might want to return."  GM
"That's some good aim!" Zuko

"If this is the door we reach, we're still gonna knock."  Mnemia
"It's always helpful to knock before entering."  Ioni
"It's not going to stop us, it's perfunctory."  Mnemia
"In case she needs to put stuff away before you enter?"  GM
"Bzzzzzzzzzzzz" Zuko

"You knock, but there is no response of any kind."  GM
"Crumpets!" Ioni
"there is no response to crumpets."  GM

"Ioni, owning a brothel you can tell the bed has recently seen action."  GM
"Well anyone can tell that.  It's probably rumpled.  Anyone can smell it according to Zuko, so yeah!" Ioni
"Feels like I just touched upon a conversation the two of you have had.."  GM
"Apparently when I'm gone for the weekend, Zuko just has chicks over and screws them on my bed."  Ioni
"Okay, so Zuko is not that good of a liar."  Kadon
"KADON HELPS!" Zuko in the background.
"Apparently Kadon helps according to Zuko."  Ioni
"Ioni is just easily lied to..." Kadon
"I just stop arguing with this shit after a while.  cuz there is no reason... Just eats up time."  Ioni

"We have to have sex in the next 30 minutes or the world is destroyed."  GM's favorite pick up line.
"Just give them three hundred dollars with the line and I'll guarantee it works every time."  Zuko
"Zuko.... Expert on hooker phenomena."  Kadon
"I'm pretty sure any line will work fine with a 300 dollar entry fee on there.  I'm just guess, but I'm pretty sure that I'm right."  GM
"Anywhere where 'spread 'em' is a pick up line, not some place you want to be."  Kadon

"So, perception investigation, is she a squirter?" Kadon about Mercury
*GM Sighs.*
"You would think the incarnae would have enough attendents that she wouldn't have to sleep on the wet spot after."  Zuko

"So lets just get out the strings here and see the origin of the trajectory and how far it went."  Kadon
*GM is stunned.*
"Question: How much paraphenalia is around the bed that is related to 50 shades of grey?"  Ioni
"Wait a second, wait a second.  Kadon, I think you're forgetting something very important. If the placenta and afterbirth from a primordial was a worthy crafting element... I'm pretty sure if we gather up these sheets we can craft something bitchin'." Zuko
"At the very least they will make the most awesome sailing ship ever."  Kadon
"Is the Doctor touching himself yet after all this talk?"  Mnemia

"Mine's teacup!" GM
"Wha?" Kadon
"Safe word... nevermind!" GM
"That's his favorite... y'know.  That's GMs favorite safe word at the BDSM clubs these days."  Zuko
"I would have gone with kumkwat."  GM
"That's too much like cum and squat."  Ioni
"Yep, which is GMs favorite activity at the BDSM club."  Zuko

"If everyone did a reading, then longest wedding ever!" GM
"Not true, some Indian weddings go on for weeks."  Ioni
"Challenge accepted?"  GM
"Okay, when you get married, you can have a wedding that goes for months."  Ioni
*tinkle tinkle tinkle of Mnemia and the minis.*

"Where's Harlotry?"  Zuko
"Somewhere in the middle of town.  I believe Ioni has interests there."  GM
"Yes.... what are they doing to my district?"  Ioni
*bzzz bzzz*
"Might not respect my clam!" Zuko
"Note to self, do not write anything for you fuckers again in the last 10 minutes.  Always have a good day of proof reading."  GM
"I thought that was a given."  Ioni
"Always respect the clam!" Kadon
"Trying to do something nice for you guys and this is what I get in return?"  GM getting snippy
"Because Breading didn't last for four weeks."  Mnemia
"That one wasn't me.  I take no responsibility for breading.  Well I do for her actions, but beyond that..."  GM

"You guys read, I'm going to go heat up some pizza.  If you have any questions just yell them out and I might hear them."  GM
"Are you using chopsticks for pizza?" Ioni
"NO!"  GM

"Is there a giant 'ass mountain' somewhere?"  Zuko
"You do not think that is a proper pronoun.  You think it's a descriptor."  GM
"Well its in Harlotry.  I expect there to be an ass mountain with a massive ogre on top."  Zuko

"She's saying not to fuck with it after the freeze, but we can fuck with it before the freeze ends."  Ioni
"I'm pretty sure that's what she is saying.  We can go to the tower of Rais.... Tower of Ravens. .....Tower of Raisins..."Kadon
"Heard it through the grape vine.." Zuko

"A respected clam is a happy clam."  Kadon
"Kadon..." Ioni
"Right Ioni?"  Kadon
"Kadon... lower the creepy vibe just a little."  Ioni
"Awwwww!" Kadon
"He doesn't know how!" Zuko

"Any reason why we can't just kill him."  Zuko on our beloved intern
"Yes."  Ioni and Kadon
"Interested in hearing your take on it, Ioni."  GM
"He obviously needs to be shamed for his choice in fucking."  Ioni

"Fortunately or unfortunately, Kadon is more practical than embarassed."  Kadon
"Maybe its time for Kadon to go to Caleb and ask who his daddy is."  Mnemia
"Who is yo daddy and what does he do."  Kadon
"Zuko is interested in interogating him.  Come with me Caleb into this room here.  Don't worry that it's sound proof.  That doesn't mean a thing." Zuko
"Do not waste my interns."  Kadon
"Don't worry." Zuko

"I'm going to interrogate the fuck out of this kid.... You can heal like severed limbs, right?" Zuko
"...No?!" Kadon
"Dammit!"  Zuko
"I can repair health levels, and I can repair them fast."  Kadon
"Well we just won't have as much fun."  Zuko

"Who?" Zuko
"You're going to threaten to break one of my arms if I don't tell you."  GM resignedly.
"No... promise."  Ioni
"Why yes, you CAN see the future."  Kadon

"Kadon..... As soon as we're far enough away.... Kadon... you got some 'splainin' to do to Nessa buddy."  Zuko
"sigh.... oh for fucks sake, really?" Kadon
"I've never seen Ribbons up this close with this charm, and given I don't think Nessa is a Sidereal... Near as I can guess with Ribbons particular strange talents, probably 10 or 12 years from nowish.... He don't know."  Zuko

"Just for the record guys, I didn't plan for you to take and pacific.... pacific action you guys... Fuck you."  GM
"Atlantic action?"  Zuko
"Spe...ci...fic..." Kadon
"Don't you start with that joke.  I have enough people giving me that joke already.  I'm gonna nip that in the bud right here right now no!  But when players take a specific charm I kind of expect them to go hey, lets use it over here.  So for the last 6-7 sessions I've been goin' HEY WHY YOU USE NO CHARM!?" GM

"I don't like to hide things from you guys.  So now.... Silken Sky... and ZIS... and my wife... all have the same daddy."  Zuko
"SISTERS!" Ioni
"It's Gavin, right?" Mnemia
"Oh if it's Gavin, I'm gonna fuckin' kill GM and he knows it.  I will butcher GM if he does that."  Zuko
"I will give you this much he is not the daddy."  GM
"He's the mommy, that is also not acceptable.  If I am in any part related to Gavin, I will hurt you GM."  Zuko

"Let's go to Nexus and..." Zuko
*Kadon blows his nose loud enough to drown out the rest.*

"When it comes to ZIS, I already tore that bitch up."  Zuko
"Sexually?" Ioni
"He tore her head off."  Mnemia
"It was awesome.  I can't wait to tell Scarlet I killed her sister."  Zuko
"I really wanna see how that plays out with you."  GM
"Oh c'mon.  Zorana killed her tons of times.  I'm allowed at least one sister!" Zuko

"Not being related to anyone is a feat in and of itself."  Kadon
"Dude, I am emaculate all over."  Ioni
"I...." Kadon
"I'm not sure how to retort to that."  GM

"As I was sayin'.  Three way baby.  Some where out there.  Quick question GM.  Is Kadon Arnold Shwarzeneggar or is he Danny DeVito?"  Kadon
"Oh for fucks sake.  As I haven't seen that movie beyond the reviews..."  GM
"You haven't seen Twins?"  Zuko
"The people I have heard from..." GM
"The people who you have heard from are fuckin' stupid!" Zuko
"Yeah, I gotta agree with Zuko on this one."  Kadon
"Hey Kadon, whats the fourth rule in any crisis situation?" Zuko
"Don't fuck your mom."  Ioni
"DUCK!" Zuko
"Was that a Howard the Duck reference?"  GM
"No, what were we just fucking talking about!?" Zuko

"As soon as he mentioned getting that charm, I was like, well there's a whole lot of secrets that are coming out fast." GM
"Like Siracha sauce on a whore." Ioni
"Yeah well... So Ioni, you sit down to meditate..." GM
"WHAT?! Like Siracha sauce on a whore... things that will come out fast?"  Zuko
"Two things in my brain, mashed them into a sentence, you're the only one to call me on it."  Ioni
"Do you mother fuckers get what I have to deal with?" Zuko
"As if there were ever any doubt."  Kadon

"While you meditate, you fall asleep." GM
"GODDAMN I suck at meditation.  I rolled a ten!" Ioni
"You're still wearing that Tiara."  GM
"Yeah, I'm still wearing that.... And no I am not sucking people off while I meditate!" Ioni to room mate in the background.
"I'll have to assume that was Zuko off mic and not the voices in your head." GM
"Mmmhm, both."  Ioni

"You get the impression that on the inside you would find.." GM
"another box?" Ioni
"No, not in the way you are intending."  GM
"Another vagina?" Ioni
"Not .... no.  You get the impression of a very large facility..."  GM
"For creating vaginas?" Ioni
"You want to succeed at this roll or not woman?"  GM
"Did you say creating or korean vaginas?"  Zuko
"Creating. Please continue.  I'll use a phrase you'll rarely hear. Please continue, I beg of you." Ioni
"Oh that just hurt!" GM
"Also a line GM would not hear."  Zuko

"Only rape if you don't want it."  GM
"If Monkey Butler wants to nail some flying Monkeys, Scarlet and I can go find those up pretty quick."  Zuko

"There is one thing we care about, Monkey Butler, is you getting your freak on."  Zuko
"A happy butler is a good butler?" GM
"Everyone deserves to get their bone on."  Zuko
"I seem to remember every time that Gavin gets his bone on someone punching him in the face."  GM
"Gavin doesn't count as a person!" Zuko

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KADON!"  Ioni
"Happy Birthday Kadon!  And I gave you a kid for your birthday! Now both you and Mnemia are parents!" GM

"So I had a thought.. silly me.  About where we play our children in Exalted 3."  Mnemia

"Nice."  Kadon on link1 and link2
"Ohhh Ioni... that took me a while... What the hell.... You have no heart."  GM
"That's amazing."  Zuko

Obligatory link.
Followed by...

And Later that week while quotes are written up....

"Like Siracha Sauce on a whore."  Ioni
"While a fan of Sriracha... not sure if I would want it on a whore... also not sure how much you'd have to pay them to put said sauce on themselves, because I have to guess that stuff burns like hell."  GM
"300 bucks and your famous pick up line.  Again, at your BDSM club."  Ioni
"What is my famous pick up line?" GM
"Oh, good.  Someone didn't ignore her.  And now this is a thing."  Mnemia
" "we have 30 minutes to fuck or the world will end" GM.  Zuko just said 'you really should learn!' in reference to ignoring me."  Ioni

Can we define 'recreational facility'

In other news.... It's rainin' spiders...

Followed by a dirty pikachu!

"Ooo!  He's like Joe." Zuko
"That's uh.." Kadon
"He's really like Joe.  Oh my god I haven't realized it"  Zuko
"Which one was Joe?" GM
"Like a little bit less than the 'I'm gonna .. like I might be raping somebody this evening' kind of vibe that Joe had."  Zuko
"Oh my." Kadon
"But then like a creepy like 'don't leave me alone with your sister cuz I'm gonna totally hit that' vibe."  Zuko

"Sessions that go well aren't as funny as 'you'll never believe what this fucking moron did.'"  Zuko

"Recently, cuz I was kinda bored, I went through the transcripts.  We are horrible people.  Immensily, truely, horrible horrible people."  GM

"Did we ever figure out if that one guy was sleeping with Nessa, for sure?"  Zuko
"He claims no, and the lie detector said, he was telling the truth."  GM
"True, but that could be that he was a sleeper agent who is sleeping with Nessa" Zuko
"Or Nessa was so embarassed by the fact that she beat him until he forgot."  Mnemia
"Thank you Mnemia.  This was so bad I don't even want YOU to remember it."  GM
"I'm pretty certain that Mnemia has sworn everyone to secrecy about her missing somebody."  Zuko
"Has it been designated to officially a 'dirty lie' being spread by the liberal media?"  GM
"No, I think the goal here is to ignore it until it goes away."  Mnemia
"I don't know, once the lame-stream media gets ahold of it, you'll never hear the end of it."  Zuko

"I want to be more involved with the selection of the intern this time.  And Frankly I'm ... I want to actually make something of these people who have been left in my charge.  Both for their own good and for my own."  Kadon
"You can turn them into flour and make them into bread.  That'll be useful."  Ioni
"The thought had crossed my mind."  Kadon
"Gonna say, we went through a lot of trouble getting a date to a dance for one of our teachers in the other game."  Zuko
"Yeah, I seem to recall being dragged into against the will of my character."  GM
"You had big boobs, deal with it."  Ioni
"Does not automatically mean they should be put up for auction!" GM
"Yes it does, what the hell do you think Zuko does to me all weekend."  Ioni
"What the hell do you think women are for, dude?"  Zuko
"Yeah!" Ioni
"I'm just gonna say, pictures or it didn't happen."  GM
"She who will kick all of our asses is not in ear shot, is she, Mnemia?" Zuko (Has a constant fear of being beaten up by her).
"No!  She's on a plane to Seattle."  Kadon

"Can we define 'recreational facility'?"  Zuko

"There are a number of clockwork devices here that can lead to Home Alone style shenanigans with possible invaders, but beyond that... they made themselves a giant habitat trail."  GM

"Let me know if there is anything I can provide that would improve your.... experience."  Kadon
"Boys."  Ioni
"Hey!" Zuko
"Y'know, sawdust, or a big bottle of water with a dispensing mechanism.." Kadon
"A wheel!" Ioni

"There are about 5-10 folk who have 'mysteriously' had jewelry stamped into their foreheads.  They would like it removed."  GM
"Uhm, can you define finger quote mysteriously a little better."  Zuko
"They woke up one day with a soul gem?"  Kadon
"More liky childish shenanigans."  GM
"Have the girls been running around with a hammer and soul gems and implanting them in people's foreheads." Zuko

"Girls, we mustn't tamper with people's souls without their permission.  These are very nice soul gems you have been making.  How did you choose the people that would receive them?"  Kadon
"They sent out a form asking people if they would like free candy."  GM
"Okay, on second thought, anyone who got a fucking gem in their forehead is a fucking idiot and deserves what they got."  Kadon
"Okay Girls, we are all reporting to an Ethics Class this evening."  Zuko

"Not only do they have a habitat trail out front, but they have a creepy looking bus."  Mnemia
"That has on the side of it 'free candy'?" GM

"The 'mounting' device on the gem has not 'penetrated' through the skull. Just kinda into it a little." GM
"Oh.. good.. that's all better now." Mnemia
"Okay, Kadon can help fix them.  Okay... Oh god... now I'm terrified what the other two crews are up to."  Zuko

"For right now you just have to teach a bunch of fuzzy 12 year olds not to hammer things into other people's skulls.  They are pretty much the way you found Scarlet, but not as mature"  GM
"Which is why they are going to have some classes!" Zuko
"And you thought I was a bad teacher." Kadon
"You're a great teacher!! of Akuma."  Ioni
"Look she may have been evil but she was good at what she did."  Kadon
"Yes, trying to kill other people."  Ioni
Zuko plays a cymbol sound.
"Was that you, Mnemia?" GM
"No!  That's the same app that you hated so much."  Zuko
"I don't remember that noise."  GM
"That's because you only heard"  Zuko plays the wah wah wah waaaaaaaaah noise.

"What we could do is play the Whale song for everybody and see who tries to kill who."  Ioni
"Play what?" GM
"The whale music on the ship?"  Ioni
"And why would that send people into a murderous rage?" GM
"Cuz it did?" Ioni
"Cuz that was the signal on the boat?" Kadon
"Riiiiiiiight, okay.  I don't recall describing it that way, but.."  GM
"We read between the lines, we know what you meant."  Kadon
"I think you're..." GM
"Especially with Assfinger."  Zuko

"Oh riiight, forgot about that.  So the other thing, angle, stuff and thingy... The kid-napped Nessa and have ... It's been a long week, just shush" Kadon as others giggle.
"I just love that GM had to IM you about it and 'oh right, yeah, that.'"  Zuko
"Uh what?" Kadon
"Oh, I just assumed GM IMed you about her."  Zuko
"No, I didn't mention her at all.  She had just kind of slipped my mind as well.  I just find it amusing the picture in my head of 'oh right! My girlfriend who I've been cheating on!'"  GM
"Look, I've.... had a lot." Kadon
"You guys have more relationship Issues than Ioni does."  Ioni
"Ioni's pretty straight forward about it."  GM
"That's because we have relationships, and not just PUT IT IN!" Zuko
"Some days, that's all you want." Ioni
"Those days are when you're a whore!" Zuko
"Yes, they've got Nessa, and they want Ioni and her box...And we know surprisingly little about her box." Kadon trying to get back on track while the rest giggle like 11yr olds
"We'll have to explore the issue later." Ioni
"...."  Kadon
"You walked into that one.  That was pretty bitchin' have to give her credit." Zuko
"Yay, I got credit for a bad joke."  Ioni
"You could walk in too, there's plenty of room."  Kadon

"It was a brief mention, but it got pushed aside when someone found someone else's vibrator."  GM
"And Paul Ryan had to hoist it up."  Ioni
"HELPING!" Mnemia
"The best way to side track our group.  Vibrator!" Zuko

"Zuko in on this?"  Ioni
"Zuko may participate in this if he wishes."  GM
"We need a perception investigation roll from you but, I don't think you want Kadon rolling for you."  Ioni in the background.
"Oh god hell no!  Sorry! I was doing dishes so Ioni wouldn't beat me!" Zuko
"Very interesting relationship you two have"  GM
"You don't know the half of it.  Perception Investigation?"  Zuko
"Yes" GM
"THE BREAD IS RISING, THE BREAD IS RISING!" Ioni
"Yep, this is what I have to deal with."  Zuko
"Yeah, free food! Shut up!"  GM
"Free?" Zuko
"Well you have to pay for the ingredients. She at least knows thaumaturgical rituals to put them together to make them tasty."  GM griping.
"I know Thaumaturgical rituals?" Ioni then runs off to get the phone
"Zuko, I call bullshit on your excuse.  I know for a fact while I was there, I didn't do dishes at all and she didn't beat me no matter how hard I asked."  Kadon
"There's... the bitterness alone!" GM
"What happened?"  Ioni
"Ioni answered a phone call from I don't know who right as you said that, Kadon."  Zuko
"What did Kadon say?" Ioni
"You can read it in the transcript later.  That's why we have recordings." Zuko
"You are such a classy group."  GM
"You were saying something, Kadon about what?" Ioni
"Don't worry about it." Zuko
"Him not lifting a finger to clean dishes and he still got fed?" Ioni
"No, just dont' worry about it."  Zuko
"Who am I going to strangle?" Ioni
"No one!  It'll be a fun surprise when you listen later.  It was funny.. Chill the fuck out."  Zuko
"I have this burning desire to punch something now." Ioni
"Well you have a burning desire towards Kadon then."  Zuko
"Kadon, how'd you like a black eye."  Ioni
"He's rather your brown eye."  Zuko
"Ohhh dude, not cool."  Ioni
"What happened?" GM
"Zuko asked if he'd like a brown eye."  Ioni
"What?!" Kadon
"Ioni asked if he'd like a black eye, and I said he'd prefer your brown eye."  Zuko
"I've always been partial to pink one... but." Kadon
"Perverts, you're all perverts!" Ioni

"The grove appears to be uh... the bubble of time seems to be more corrosive than other points now."  GM
"The one at the Grove does?" Kadon
"Yea" GM
"Is this due to squirrel?" Kadon

"Given the fact that we are spending our time creating a bubble around us so we can work through the time freeze, I'm going to spend my time looking for blue space elves."  Zuko

"You pop it open.... It appears to be..." GM
"No... no one's opening it.  Can't Kadon see through it?" Zuko
"It appears to be made of Mystic Metal." GM
"Can I check to see if it's going to be dangerous if I open it?" Zuko
"Alright..." GM

"DAMMIT Why must that cat sound so cute!?"  Ioni as Mnemia's cat starts begging for dinner.
"It's the only way it'll survive."  Zuko
"I'm helping!" Kadon

"Keep in mind all we gotta do is disable its propulsion and then take it some where else to analyze it."  Mnemia
"I would like to confirm its not a fucking bomb!" Kadon

"11 GM." Zuko
"And I have 4." Kadon
"You have perception larceny?!" Zuko
"I have perception!" Kadon

In Skype IM:
"It'd be funny if I could use 'whore sight' to detect any tubes and projectiles that would spew forth form that" Ioni
30 minutes later.
"You are welcome to write up rules for whore sight, Ioni." GM
"It took you that long to see that?" Ioni
"I've had a snack in front of me!" GM
"I'm not even..." Kadon

"Asshole has gained entrance.  Asshole is poking at core.  Asshole is tampering." Mnemia
"The probe is able to record basic information about its surroundings." GM Lists off a bit...
"whores." Zuko adds.

"This thing is ginormous?" Kadon
"It could crush Nexus." GM
"It'd be nice to own it."  Ioni
"Yep, player characters, always looking for acquirement." GM
"We could store so much loot in there."  Ioni
"Loot or whores?" GM
"Whats the difference."  Ioni
"Alright, good to know."  GM
"It's a pleasure yacht."  Ioni
"That seems worth checking out." Kadon trying to get back on topic.
"Whore storage?" Ioni
"That's always worth checking out."  GM
"Are we doing vertical or horizontal storage on this." Ioni
"Uhm.. the only question is in which order."  Kadon
"All I can is Ruby Rod quoting 'I don't want one position, I want all positions!'" GM
"That is the mantra they are trained with."  Ioni

"....Altered this in whatever ways this has been altered then disrupting their plans might be counter productive..." Kadon
"Alright whatever Captain Compassion.... Jesus.. About like Wyld shaping yourself a servant race that allows you to gain willpower so you can do more things, then dissolving them later.  But this you got a problem with."  Zuko
"I have never actually done that, I'll just point out."  Kadon
"I thought that's what you did when you made Core Ignis.  That you wyld shaped yourself a cult so you could gain back willpower while you worked on it."  Zuko
"no.." Kadon

"The Doctor calls and tells you that whatever you are doing, don't stop.  You're pretty sure you can hear Mercury in the background.  She's incredible ... happy."  GM
"Alright everyone, lets turn around and get out of here."  Zuko
"Tell me they share some fuckin' details?" Kadon
"Uhhh...  You're gonna need Ioni to properly describe the feeling she's... currently going through.. This is more her area of expertise."  GM
"It's very dangerous.. we need to get out of here now." Zuko
"Wait wait wait... what... wha...whaha??!"  Ioni
"Moving through this empty space is getting her off?!" Kadon
"Maybe." GM
"Someone is going on a journey where no man has gone before." Zuko
"Up her butt." Ioni
"Yeah, I suppose that makes sense."  Kadon
"We are in her black hole."  Zuko
"Dude dude, guess what.  We have found Mercury's clit."  Ioni
"And I wyld-shaped it." Kadon
"Apparently Ioni has different understanding of anatomy than the rest of us..."  Zuko
"She's an incarnae!  Maybe she spread herself a little thin and forgot something!" Ioni
"Annywhoo...Do they give any details, or is it just keep doing what you're doing...?" Zuko
"Well he seems very embarrassed and does not want any further part of whatever the fuck is goin on.  But the impression you get is that Mercury is very happy with something that is happening and it's very much a 'oh god don't stop, oh god don't stop.'" GM
"It's not like when a cat attacks and it's holy fuck holy fuck shit damn fuck?"  Ioni
"I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it's like." Mnemia
"Dammit Ioni."  GM

Upon finding a growing Universe that Kadon created:
"Dude! It's like you're a salmon.  You dropped your eggs, someone came by and squirted semen on it.  And now you have a baby salmon that is going to swim to the Ocean and grow up!" Ioni


"Apparently we're getting Mercury off.  Who votes leave?" Zuko
"I vote leave, gotta leave her hanging."  Ioni
"Wow, you're mean!  You are like the worst Mistress ever!" GM
"Why do we care that Mercury is getting off?"  Mnemia
"Exactly!  what are we gonna get out of it!" Zuko
"Cuz she's an ally?  And if she gets off, good for her" Mnemia
"she's not that big of an ally."  Zuko
"We begrudge her orgasm?"  Mnemia

"Jupiter still knows who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop."  Zuko
"Jupiters got us hanging inside her locker?" Mnemia
"Pretty much." Zuko

"We should leave something so they can call us the forerunners."  Ioni
"We'll make a plaster mold of Ioni's vagina so all people will worship it."  Zuko
"Sounds good."  Ioni

"Jupiter will not go.  She seems to be throwing a lot of passive aggressive at me.... So obviously its one of you fuckers!" GM
"Dude, if us screwing around in this Galaxy will cause the Unconquered Sun to get off his ass cuz Jupiter won't take her turn, this is the best thing we've done all campaign."  Mnemia

"If the Unconquered Sun looks down on Creation and notices that 95% of it is fuckin' frozen..." Mnemia
"Huh.. when did that happen." GM
"Too bad I don't give a shit." Zuko
"He's all out of fucks to give as well, huh?" Mnemia
"I'm just trying to figure out how to roll the other Maidens into here so it's a party.  Unfortunately, mother fuckers stole my girlfriend!" Kadon

"Where's the mother fucking nukes?  We're in orbit, we should fire them off right now just to be sure." Ioni
"Orbit around which."  GM
"I don't care!  Any of it!" Ioni
"let's not nuke a maiden.  That might be a bad idea." Mnemia
"Stop trying to blow up my universe!" Kadon
"Oh come on, you'd like a fiery death!" Ioni
"I worked for like 10-20 minutes on this Universe, stop trying to fuck with it!"  Kadon
"It's only 10-20 minutes, it's not like it's you're entire life time."  Ioni
"She's not fucking with it, she's looking out one of the portholes of it going PEW PEW PEW PEW."  Mnemia
"Well if it were still the Wyld that might be a thing."  Kadon
"After a while she makes explosion sounds then moves on." Mnemia

"Those will wear out on ya from time to time."  Zuko
"Here's a new dildo" Ioni
"Have you had the timing belt done recently?  Cuz uh, you should get the timing done, just saying.  Not saying it's the timing, just that you should get it done." Kadon
"You are horrible people and I'm not ever taking my car to you."  GM
"Are any of us mechanics?  I don't think we are!  Why would you take your care to us to begin with."  Ioni
"That's an interesting question that I'm not dealing with today.  So, what are you doing?" GM
"Getting Naked." Zuko
"Flying back to creation."  Mnemia
"Spitting in a handkerchief and throwing it out the window so that everything has Ioni's DNA in it."  Ioni
 "I don't' know, given Ioni's occupation, that spit may have more than just Ioni in it." GM
"No, it's that Ioni just has everyone else's DNA inside her." Mnemia
"Oh I get it, it's cuz she's a whore!" Zuko

"Believe you me, both reverse engineering and recycling are in the forefront of Kadon's mind at this point."  Kadon
"Kadon believes in recycling and reusing." Zuko
"Rinse recycle and reuse."  Ioni
"And when we bomb the Bull of the North's army from the air, we'll recover my army and recycle them!" Mnemia

"Zuko, maybe you want to journey to the toilet, maybe Mercury will show up there." Mnemia
"That will be a little awkward."  Ioni
"Especially when he whips it out to take a piss, she shows up to talk."  Mnemia
"How I roll... Don't judge me." Zuko
"While standing on the ceiling."  Mnemia
"That way there's no splash back!" Ioni
"Bout time you figure out how it works."  Zuko

"5 dex, 5 martial arts, that stream don't go anywhere I don't intend it."  Zuko
"That means you're peeing on the ceiling."  Kadon
"Thats right, cuz fuck you guys." Zuko

"You do eventually find the Doctor and he has this look on his face that he has seen something he cannot un-see." GM
"He saw Honey-Boo-Boos mother naked."  Ioni
"DAMMIT IONI!"  GM
"I love it how you think in images!" Ioni

"Just so long as I remember the world does not revolve around me."  GM
"Oh you're good at that.  I'm giving you kudos man.  you play a teenage girl very well.  Just take it."  Ioni
"GM Just remember... Don't play another lesbian who thinks she's gonna get Rokugan to accept and enjoy her as she is."  Zuko

"Not that she was self centered, she was just stupid.  It was her first month or two driving around with boobs and she didn't know what to do with them." GM
"We're still very surprised you weren't masturbating with them, or constantly touching them to feel yourself up because you now have boobs."  Ioni
"Admittedly any guy in that situation.." GM
"DAMN STRAIGHT!" Zuko

"I find it highly amusing that the one Sora considers as her best friend nearly got her raped by her room mate."  GM
"I believe while Kadon was describing that, I sent him an IM saying WTF I didn't mean for it to go that far." Ioni
"You considered KAI your best friend?  How fucking stupid are you?!"  Zuko

"Whats our second player driven plot?" Mnemia
"I'll let you know when it becomes general knowledge."  GM
"It's mind" Ioni resigned
"Oh god dammit." Zuko
"Am I right, GM?" Ioni
"Wow, there's some anger....  For the most part."  GM

"So you're not the only fucktards galavanting through the Universe."  GM
"We're not fucktards, we're belligerent jerks." Ioni
"Some of us are fucktards." Mnemia
"Assholes."  Zuko
"Though to be honest, that whole thing is Ioni's fault."  GM
"Wait, what?!" Ioni

"The war between 2 death lords?  All Ioni."  GM
"YES! That's awesome!  How did I do this and how do I keep it going?!" Ioni
"Oh fuck, what did you do this time." Zuko
"I'm going to blame the invisible Manse and what you did to the corpses there."  Mnemia

"I did pray them back the UCS.... Whats wrong with that?" Ioni
"I don't think they liked that."  Zuko
"If you're the epitome of darkness and you're prayed back to God, I don't think they like that." GM
"Ohh... I thought they were good people." Ioni
"No...." Mnemia
"Ioni we went over this.  You can't claim ignorance anymore sweetie."  Zuko
"Dammit." Ioni

"The problem with the Succulent Tears Brothel is all drama, that might be good to deal with..." GM
"My fault." Ioni jokingly.
"Also Ioni's fault." GM
"It is?!" Ioni
"GODDAMIT!!! Why did we let you join?!" Mnemia
"Cuz nobody knew better and I had amnesia.  I still need to talk to you GM about that, cuz my character does have amnesia."  Ioni
"Yeah, we should kinda go over that a little bit more." GM
"No........We can do everything that's not that too." Zuko suffering

When it comes..... yeah.

After the game starts late. "As long as progress was made, that's ok." Ioni "What? Progress? You guys haven't figured this shit out yet? Thought we were close." Mnemia "Did you complete it?" Ioni "No." Kadon "Just a warning, I will have to take the occassional break more often because I feel as if I am fighting off the plague, and one of the things I am trying to do is drink plenty of fluids and orange juice so my throat does not become sore from talking to you folks." GM "So what you're saying is you're going to have to piss more and you're not gonna take us into the bathroom with you." Ioni "That I had also considered. Also and uh..." GM "Why don't you not say anything, and we'll run the game. We got this, right guys?" Mnemia "Yeah, totally." Ioni "Uh huh. Also, once again, no on the fucking calendar." GM "Aw, why not." Ioni "Because there are things one cannot unsee, and I do not need to make the game of Cthulu a real live place." GM "Oh, we found that the other day!" Ioni "Well the man is mostly tentacles. Just no, Ioni. If I want to destroy someon's brain, I would give you 50 bucks and unleash you on them, which I'm sure will be an act of mutual destruction." GM "So, I don't see any options to get a customized 365 Calendar, but we can customize a 12 month for about 13 bucks." Mnemia "Awesome!" Ioni "Et tu, Mnemia?" GM "We need to find 12 most potent images possible." Mnemia "What's the gneral category here? Are we going for anime? Tentacle? Gay? Straight? Lesbian? Transgendered?" Ioni "I don't know why we have to limit ourselves." Mnemia "It's just that on each of them I can find 15, 20 or 35 images for each category." Ioni "Bestiality seems to set him off quite a bit. Marine bestiality in particular. That might be the way to go." Mnemia "Mnemia, is this because you had to chase after your children? Or because I got you pregnant?" GM "There was something on Kotaku yesterday, about giraffe furry porn. Like 69ing giraffes. Apparently they are very flexible." Kadon "Right. Who needs to die in a fire." GM "Oh, suddenly glad I am not moving to Seattle." GM "Oh then we'd just get you a banner." Ioni "Shower curtain? Shower curtain with some dolphin raping somebody. See that every time he gets naked and wet." Mnemia "Well it could all just be in text, so that every time he takes a shower he gets to read about it and the images are just implanted in his head." Ioni "I feel like I have been run over multiple times by a steam roller." GM "You do know it's not cool to play in a construction zone." Ioni "Yeah, no. That's probably the first mistake." GM "They are all still marked as Creatures of Darkness,[...] but they can now all see." GM "So they will be able to see when we decide we need to kill them." Ioni "It's better when they see us coming. It's more fun." Mnemia "Well your weapon is currently broken though." Ioni "Huh?" GM "He missed, err she missed." Ioni "Don't know if you really want to bring that up with her or not." GM "Well it's broken." Ioni "I'm gonna miss that little guy. The first guy to get a miss on Mnemia in just years!" GM "Ressurect him so I can just kill him again?" Mnemia "You'll have to talk to your crazy girlfriend who is outside murderlating bodies." GM "Currently flipping out." Mnemia "If anyone takes more pleasure in murdering things than you, it's her." GM "That's why the relationship works." Mnemia "We could to business cards as well." Mnemia back to the calendar "They do christmas ornaments as well." Ioni "Hang it from the tree!" Mnemia "HOT DOLPHIN!" Ioni "There is something seriously wrong with you people." GM "She is happy. She just got to murderlate a bunch of people without anybody from Yu-Shan or the underworld giving her shit for it. She's allowed to wear the combatant of her last victim on her head like a hat." GM "So Bloodthirsty happy not cheerleader happy." Mnemia "Sure. Although I kind of equate the two as the same. The only real issue with her..." GM *Dice roll* "Good god." Mnemia "I'm a socializer, bitch!" Ioni "We're burning our mojo way too soon. Is there a pill for that?" Mnemia "Yes, it's blue. But you have to see the doctor after four hours. And if you buy them online, chances are its fake." Ioni "If overwhelming successes lasts for more than four hours..." GM "Please feel free to go to the gambling tables in Vegas." Ioni "If you experience infinite mastery, with overwhelming successes lasting more than 12 hours." Kadon "Consult a doctor, also you're welcome." GM "If so, it would be nice to get a smarty pants roll on this." Mnemia "It's the hidden ability of a socialite. If you don't have linguistics 5 and you can't speak everything, you're doing it wrong." Mnemia "I'm all over this tonight. Derpa derp derp derp." Kadon "You're better than your GM tonight." GM "That inspires a lot of confidence in me. The discussion you guys were having about the charms while both of you are fried out of your minds... There are now craft charms that replace Ride charms. You've added horses to them all." Mnemia "Robo horses, how did you guess." Kadon "I will begin learning this language." Kadon "Okay." GM "Can I learn the bawdy bits. I don't mean body as in human body." Ioni "Thank you Ioni." GM "Porn, naked, get the swear words under control first." Mnemia "Swear words are the best words to learn first. What if we come up against a search engine where we need to look for porn in this language. We need to learn those words!" Ioni "Start talking to the Eye of Autocthon with these words. Oh boy are we gonna get some good stuff." Mnemia "You also get the impression she is aware her sleeper agents have activate and at the very least were unable to kill Ioni." GM "Again, I will repeat my request. I want her head. I think I have cause now." Ioni "But she's like your BFF and stuff!" Mnemia "I know, but I just want her head so I can re-animate it every once in a while when I need a tea party. Besides, I have a wonderful recipe for head cheese." Ioni "....ew." Kadon "Do I get to play with that one?" GM on a botch from Mnemia "Go for it. Apparently one of my search rolls was not awesome. Which is what happens when you have three dice and roll them over and over again." Mnemia *Ioni rolls* "I got a botch too." Ioni "Oh for the love of god. OMG, something, come over here. That's a fucking nail, what are you smoking. The nail had to come from somewhere! Yeah, that box of nails on the shelf. Goddammit, just go interrogate someone or something. ARGH!" Kadon "So Ioni, you discover a box that has some kind of magical curse currently on it. Uh Kadon, you need to stop her from putting forks in the fucking microwave! Mnemia, you believe you have found some contraband that has been brough on board that might be uh.. a bomb or perhaps a well disguised beam claive or multi tool device. Uhh, Kadon and Ioni you can both identify it as a one dot useless vibrating artefact object." GM "Ioni didn't fucking recognize a sex toy?" Kadon "That was Mnemia's botch." Mnemia "I see. We got that, slightly less horrible I guess." Kadon "You also have a mortified intern, I'll figure out that one later." GM "All I'm saying..." Kadon "The one with the boyfriend... Gotta be Silken Sky." Mnemia "We're helping!" Mnemia "So, 4 1 2 3 2 3." Kadon rolling on Zuko's behalf. "Wow... You're a shitty Zuko." GM "Fuck me..." Kadon "You're the worst Zuko Ever!" GM "That was terrible!" Kadon "Well, Zuko is not in any fear of losing his job today." GM "So, for what it's worth and whenever he gets back. Zuko is terrible at searching. We know this because we let him try. But at least he is not as terrible as you two." Kadon "Did you all not get enough of spreadsheets when you were children?" GM when we move a list to google docs and start organizing it. "When all is said and done, Mnemia you are now in the possession of a new vibrator. The intern does not take the time to retrieve it from you." GM "I'm pretty sure Mnemia's not walking around with it. If her response is 'Oh my god, its a penis shaped bomb' She's not gonna pick it up and haul it over to Kadon like it's a bone. Kadon Kadon Kadon, what is it? What is it? she would have left it where it is, and Kadon would have come an looked at it and said no, it's not a bomb, and it would have stayed there." Mnemia "Is it an evil vibrator? I'm not sure how you make one of those. Anything is possible.... It Is Exalted." Kadon "Dammit, now I'm thinking of mechanics, where it starts to drain away intimacies the more you use it." GM Ioni goes link surfing which is followed by snorting laughter. "I'm sure that would have been the same look. What is that on the end of the ... the stimulator. That little white thing coming off the top of it." GM "You do know this is called a rabbit, right?" Ioni "I have heard them mentioned before by certain friends, yes." GM "Ask your former room mate." Ioni "No. I'm unaware she knows what a rabbit is, and I don't want to know if she knows what a rabbit is." GM "GM.... And Ioni back me up on this. She knows what a rabbit is." Kadon "I prefer to stay in denial of whatever she does in her private time." GM "The only thing I have ever heard over there is the night when a cat tried to maul her." GM "Are you sure it was a cat." Ioni "There is a super high setting." Mnemia "There is a difference between Oh my god, more. And Holy fuck holy fuck holy shit damn fuck." GM "Not if you're doing it right." Kadon Links "What the hell is... A.) I don't have an android phone." GM "Wh...the.....wha.... What am I looking at here. It's got screen shots... so to speak. And I guess that is fairly evil looking." Kadon "I'm guessing she hooks it up and you can control it with an android app." Ioni "Possibly. Possibly it just makes your phone vibrate." Kadon "Possibly. At least, 10,000-50,000 people know what it does." GM "I'm also fairly certain there are no actual she's involved in this project. I'm just speculating based on the internet." Kadon "Apparently there is a related basement waterproofing app." Kadon "I have caused people to fall down the rabbit hole of the internet." Ioni "I don't know if thats what we call it. But okay." GM "It's where the rabbit goes, isn't it?" Ioni "I stand corrected. And thank you for that visual. Didn't so much as fall down as get shoved along." GM followed by snickering. "Kira is bored and would like to play with the recording devices." GM "Sure. Don't get any evil on you." Kadon "Don't let it spew out and hit you. And if it's a slinky, don't touch it." Ioni "I'm not going to be able to see Paul Ryan ever again without seeing this picture." GM "Which picture? Oh that one." Kadon "Actually now that I'm looking at this picture closer, I'm thinking that the white thing is actually bad photo-shoping. I suspect this thing had a white background and that thing didn't get chopped away proper." GM on the link surfing . "No, that's the stimulator dude." Kadon "I'm aware of what that does, but that white part that comes off it, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to end there in a penis shaped. And doesn't have that weird. Cuz if you look at it, it's geometrically jagged." GM "Okay, as tempting as it is to keep this particular highly amusing line of discussion going. Let's move on to the game. I almost was... but no. So yeah, fixing the boat" Kadon "There, now you can read about a product." Ioni "I am AWARE of what that tab does." GM Mnemia puts in a picture on the google doc. "Oh Menmia, I would totally give you a high five now." Ioni "That is the visual fun of the night sir. And I may asphyxiate." Kadon "Oh.. back on the google doc? Sigh. Well done. I was gonna say the Amazon picture is not that funny." GM "Mental note: never open Amazon profile at work." Kadon after clicking on Ioni's links "I have contaminated your internets!" Ioni "Aww dammit. Dammit Ioni." GM "This is the same basic plot device that I used to get Ioni laid in Redness." Kadon "Consume the Earth in search of Hump-back whales?" Kadon "Hump the Earth in search of consuming whales?" Ioni "So we just punchify everybody. One at a time" Ioni "Are you an agent? Kthunk!" Kadon "I somehow suspect Zuko is suddenly on board with this." GM "I don't think he is cuz there is a will power quotient to this." Ioni "He will be out of willpower for ever more." Kadon "The last thing we need is for him bitching even more." Mnemia "Who says he was gonna spend the will power. He was just gonna smack some bitches." GM "The thing require him to spend will power for him to actively do that." Ioni "He'll get to smack a couple people before one of us goes 'what are you doing'? If its Kadon it's what are you doing, do it right. If it's Mnemia it's what are you doing, can I help." Mnemia "Just be glad I didn't get her to do exactly what it says in the book. Get her to sleep with one of you first." GM "You do know that's not difficult." Ioni "Someone who cares." Kadon "Once you get one of the character pregnant, then anyone you give them as free sex suddenly looks like a trap." GM "Well the only one who is a viable option for that that you don't cause a lot of social issues is Ioni. Ioni is known to randomly fuck people." Ioni "Yeah, but with his female character who was banging a female ghost who was lacking a body to begin with." GM "Having that character get intimate with one of the player characters would have been very intersting. I am upset that you did not do that." Mnemia "I'm mildly upset cuz then I could take Ioni down a very dark and twisted path." Ioni "Uhm wow." GM "I'm on board here, GM. Thank you for not doing that." Kadon "A third character banging Kadon, or Zuko's infidelity and what that does with Scarlet and her interactions with the Lunars, or the horrible threesome things that go along with Mnemia and ZIS. That would have been interesting." Mnemia "Or causing Ioni to become a sociopathic killer." Ioni "I decided to keep her the quiet one for a reason." GM "Yeah, the thing that Ioni just described is precisely the reason why any good that might have come out of doing that would not have been worth it. Just saying." Kadon "It's okay, I just fuck them until they die." Ioni "Sigh.. jesus." Kadon "WOW" GM "Ioni, perhaps you'd like to play a lunar. You could be a spider totem." Kadon "I don't like spiders, they're ugly." Ioni "Or a Mantis. Are you suggesting she eats her dates afterwards. You could go Mantis too. You get a martial arts style for that too." GM "Because as it is, eating them before hand is not quite the same." Kadon "If the definition for eating is different it is." GM "I think that's what he was going for. And you just kind of.." Ioni "Drove over it with a truck. Yeah I know." GM "It's like a poor possum on the road, just kind of.." Ioni *Whimper* Kadon "That was the sound of you running over my dog." "Now I'm extra sad." GM "It's okay, just look at the images on the to do list, it'll make you happy again." Ioni "I haven't looked at the to do lis.... SHEEZ WHAT THE FUCK" GM *Mnemia plays with the google document* There are ten million- million -million -million million million million million particles In the Universe- That we can observe- Your momma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd. *Mnemia starts quoting Creature of Darkness* WHY am I sitting here like a piece of ebony meat-loaf? - Mnemia The nightmare wants our women. - Mnemia [Rachel flashes Eric] Eric: Mm. Now, those are my kind of dunes. - Mnemia "These writers are amazing." Mnemia "You're quoting this? From what? Creature of Darkness. Now I'm intrigued." GM "No, you're getting back to the game, and we're going through this check list!" Ioni "FOCUS!" Kadon "I have a bowl of queso and orange juice in front of me. Lets go." GM "Do you at least have a spoon for the Queso?" Ioni "No, Chips." GM "Because just eating the queso with a spoon would just be sad." Kadon "Silken Sky offers that since it was one of their agents who just tried to murder you, to let them know that happened, perhaps take precautions with the rest of their people." GM "Forgot I left that tab open. Just the look on Paul Ryans face." GM "You like that picture too much. You're analyzing pieces of the dildo. It's still open. It's probably your wall paper by now." Mnemia "He just likes how manly Paul Ryan looks." Ioni "Oh fuck that. The man is an over-sized keebler elf." GM "So really what he has in his hand is about 2 inches long?" Ioni "Potentially. I try not to judge." GM "If you're a dude, and you have seven very hot women who all want to play video games with you all day, what are you going to do? Say no?" GM "At some point, if the video game playing does not turn into sex, then it didn't turn out." Mnemia "More than a couple of times, Venus, on behalf of her and the rest of her sisters, has proposed marriage to the Unconquered Sun, to which he agreed to. It's just that every time..." GM "I think we just covered that he was looking for sex." Kadon "Not marriage." Ioni "Alright, never mind then. Fine. If you want to be crass about it." GM "Now if it was one of the multiplayers, where you pass the controller, 7 people aren't playing the game and during that time there is some fun, then that's fine." Mnemia "A divine orgy that turns out to play the game." Kadon "I have to believe that anyone there not directly related to Venus has to have tapped that. That's just how she rolls. And I have to believe that she has tapped one or two of her sisters." GM "So Doggy Style so they can both play at the same time while they're making out?" Mnemia "Seychelles knows enough to give us a reason, otherwise we'll be belligerent jerks and just come anyway." Mnemia "He's just, I will send more in a moment, just don't come to Nexus quite yet." GM "That's not good." Ioni "He's gotta hide his porn stash. Like what he used to do with the Squirrel Girls in that manse. Gotta clean up after himself." Mnemia "I don't know about the rest of you, but that is exactly the wrong message to send to keep us from going there." Mnemia "They have specifically requested that you stay out of Nexus for the time being." GM "Cuz we don't play well with others." Mnemia "That's good, at least they know us well." Ioni "That's a totally reasonable concern, on the other hand, fate of creation." Kadon "Yeah.." Kadon "By exploding collars?" Mnemia "Oh you acting up? Explode..." Ioni "Slave collars for everyone!" Mnemia "So you're done with your mom. It's a decision between us and a strip club." GM Ioni then translates. Hidden conversation as Zuko admits using a phone to call in for a skype isn't cool. "Well text me when you hit the elevator and I'll pour it for you." Ioni "Are you a fuckin' bar tender now?" Kadon "He's not just gonna suck it out of the bottle?" Mnemia "Unlike Mamasuchi who has had his hands in a large number of Celestials." Kadon "Hands or dick." Ioni "When you're a lunar, it doesn't matter." GM "Parts is parts." Kadon "So bitch be serious old." Kadon "So why is Mnemia naked." Zuko "Because GM didn't want dolphin porn, but he'd settle for Mnemia porn." Ioni "NOooo! Wait no!" GM "If that's considered settling, thats..a step up." Zuko "I think so too, but it's, y'know... GM." Ioni "NO! What's wrong with people!" GM "Okay, we got lots of stuff. Good job of sticking things next to boob squeezers." Zuko "I don't know what you're talking about, all I saw is boob squeezing." GM "You are of Low-breading." GM "At least I found it amusing, and I'm easily amused." GM "You do play with a slinky." Ioni "Well it does keep my hands busy." GM "Not just any slinky, his slinky." Kadon "The squirrels are also getting re-educated. They are no longer trustworthy around the building-shit-area." Zuko "Okay." GM "If I have to re-purpose them into love slaves, so be it." Zuko "You've been wanting to do that regardless." GM "I've been doing that regardless." Zuko "Are Scarlet and ZIS retarded?" Mnemia "Do we have any evidence that he cheated on Silken Sky?" Zuko "No, we have evidence he didn't!" Mnemia "Zuko will be.. fine... List every person you have ever put your penis in." Zuko "Uh you better be a little more general just in case he was a girl at any point." Kadon "Then list everyone who has ever touched your genitals." Zuko "Uhh.... he has touched his genitals. Silken Sky has touched his genitals... Oh fuck." GM "Kadon has... It's okay, he's a doctor. Father O'Malley." Zuko "So these Interns just get put through hell." Ioni "Scout Master Burton." Zuko "Stoppit..." GM "PE teacher, don't forget that.... Oh! Then his football coach." Ioni "Dammit Ioni." GM "At some point he just started asking for it." Kadon "Begging... Oh and then there was that one time in dance class, but that was a woman and he didn't like it as much." Ioni "That slutty Mrs. McAllister on his paper route." Zuko "I know! Oh, his English teacher when he had a failing grade." Ioni "Mnemia's not terribly interested." Mnemia "I have this I don't want to meet anymore demons policy." Kadon "Why would there be spikes coming out of the wall?" Zuko "You know what? I don't know. It's Exalted." Ioni "Also give two of the sexual performers tickets for ZIS cuz I know she'll be dropping by." Ioni "Potentially. Limber up now!" GM "Here's your sticker saying 'I belong to ZIS for an hour.'" Ioni "Start eating lots of food with Iron, you're going to start losing lots of blood. Mnemia, you're girlfriend is a whore." Zuko "Yes she is." Mnemia "She's just in to whores. And on to them, and around them." Kadon "In between them. pretty much every preposition." Zuko "Fuckin' learn about things I'm not supposed to learn about." Kadon "Which things?" Zuko "All of the goddamn demiurge shit." Kadon "Oh, I was like, there's a whole lot of shit we're not supposed to learn about, you might need to be more specific. I mean the sheer volume of shit we know that man was not meant to know..." Zuko "Oh no no no, I'm talking about stuff that's actually hard. ...............Yes, I am in fact talking about my dick." Kadon "About time someone was." Zuko "Too much dolphin porn." Ioni "Why does it always come back to that." GM "Your response is an unto itself." Kadon "It's a response you should all have." GM "What, comes?" Zuko "EW!" Ioni "GM do I have ANY reason to think this is physically possible?" Zuko "Intelligence and occult?" GM "2 dice." Zuko, while everyone else laughs. "Raise your hand if you didn't see that one coming." Kadon "And through what manner are they bound.." Zuko "Maaaaaaaaaaagic." Kadon "How did Virumipra find you." Zuko "Maaaaaaaaaagic." Kadon "Hey Kadon," Zuko "Uh huh." Kadon "I got a question for you." Zuko "Uh huh" Kadon "You know lots of shit." Zuko "Uh huh............... Go for brain box." Kadon "It's not going over well with Nexus, cuz Nexus does not have slaves and does not sell slaves. So either they are all going to have to be let go as free men, or someone is going to have to liquidate...." GM "the assets." Ioni "They can be of use to Nexus in creating a larger Shadowlands with which they can move in and out of the city. So they are debating what is likely a massacre in the area doing what you guys previously stopped. That is their concern. A) Creating a shadowlands in Nexus, won't that create problems later, like when time restarts. There is also the concern that someone who wished us harm is trying to do the same thing, do we really want to do them the favor and help them out with that. Even though there are all these concerns, trade is king. Even if all these lawsuits may happen." GM "But my question about that is if they liquidate those assets, who then gets reimbursement for those assets and is it pro-rated to the point where you're actually making money off of the potential wage earning capability." Ioni "Mnemia doesn't tell Ioni this." Mnemia "BATMAN!" Zuko "That Solar has a pug now. 2 dot familiar, and all it does is scream Batman!" Mnemia "Can we use Plan B on Yuki?" Zuko "That would render all the work we did to get her preggers kinda pointless." Kadon "Better safe than sorry. Give her like a triple dose." Zuko "Plan B Excellency.... Infinite Mastery of Plan B..." Kadon "Immaculate Coat Hangar." Zuko "I'm in another game and I have to make a character yet." GM "You have to make a character for hide the pickle?" Zuko "No." GM