Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Can we define 'recreational facility'

In other news.... It's rainin' spiders...

Followed by a dirty pikachu!

"Ooo!  He's like Joe." Zuko
"That's uh.." Kadon
"He's really like Joe.  Oh my god I haven't realized it"  Zuko
"Which one was Joe?" GM
"Like a little bit less than the 'I'm gonna .. like I might be raping somebody this evening' kind of vibe that Joe had."  Zuko
"Oh my." Kadon
"But then like a creepy like 'don't leave me alone with your sister cuz I'm gonna totally hit that' vibe."  Zuko

"Sessions that go well aren't as funny as 'you'll never believe what this fucking moron did.'"  Zuko

"Recently, cuz I was kinda bored, I went through the transcripts.  We are horrible people.  Immensily, truely, horrible horrible people."  GM

"Did we ever figure out if that one guy was sleeping with Nessa, for sure?"  Zuko
"He claims no, and the lie detector said, he was telling the truth."  GM
"True, but that could be that he was a sleeper agent who is sleeping with Nessa" Zuko
"Or Nessa was so embarassed by the fact that she beat him until he forgot."  Mnemia
"Thank you Mnemia.  This was so bad I don't even want YOU to remember it."  GM
"I'm pretty certain that Mnemia has sworn everyone to secrecy about her missing somebody."  Zuko
"Has it been designated to officially a 'dirty lie' being spread by the liberal media?"  GM
"No, I think the goal here is to ignore it until it goes away."  Mnemia
"I don't know, once the lame-stream media gets ahold of it, you'll never hear the end of it."  Zuko

"I want to be more involved with the selection of the intern this time.  And Frankly I'm ... I want to actually make something of these people who have been left in my charge.  Both for their own good and for my own."  Kadon
"You can turn them into flour and make them into bread.  That'll be useful."  Ioni
"The thought had crossed my mind."  Kadon
"Gonna say, we went through a lot of trouble getting a date to a dance for one of our teachers in the other game."  Zuko
"Yeah, I seem to recall being dragged into against the will of my character."  GM
"You had big boobs, deal with it."  Ioni
"Does not automatically mean they should be put up for auction!" GM
"Yes it does, what the hell do you think Zuko does to me all weekend."  Ioni
"What the hell do you think women are for, dude?"  Zuko
"Yeah!" Ioni
"I'm just gonna say, pictures or it didn't happen."  GM
"She who will kick all of our asses is not in ear shot, is she, Mnemia?" Zuko (Has a constant fear of being beaten up by her).
"No!  She's on a plane to Seattle."  Kadon

"Can we define 'recreational facility'?"  Zuko

"There are a number of clockwork devices here that can lead to Home Alone style shenanigans with possible invaders, but beyond that... they made themselves a giant habitat trail."  GM

"Let me know if there is anything I can provide that would improve your.... experience."  Kadon
"Boys."  Ioni
"Hey!" Zuko
"Y'know, sawdust, or a big bottle of water with a dispensing mechanism.." Kadon
"A wheel!" Ioni

"There are about 5-10 folk who have 'mysteriously' had jewelry stamped into their foreheads.  They would like it removed."  GM
"Uhm, can you define finger quote mysteriously a little better."  Zuko
"They woke up one day with a soul gem?"  Kadon
"More liky childish shenanigans."  GM
"Have the girls been running around with a hammer and soul gems and implanting them in people's foreheads." Zuko

"Girls, we mustn't tamper with people's souls without their permission.  These are very nice soul gems you have been making.  How did you choose the people that would receive them?"  Kadon
"They sent out a form asking people if they would like free candy."  GM
"Okay, on second thought, anyone who got a fucking gem in their forehead is a fucking idiot and deserves what they got."  Kadon
"Okay Girls, we are all reporting to an Ethics Class this evening."  Zuko

"Not only do they have a habitat trail out front, but they have a creepy looking bus."  Mnemia
"That has on the side of it 'free candy'?" GM

"The 'mounting' device on the gem has not 'penetrated' through the skull. Just kinda into it a little." GM
"Oh.. good.. that's all better now." Mnemia
"Okay, Kadon can help fix them.  Okay... Oh god... now I'm terrified what the other two crews are up to."  Zuko

"For right now you just have to teach a bunch of fuzzy 12 year olds not to hammer things into other people's skulls.  They are pretty much the way you found Scarlet, but not as mature"  GM
"Which is why they are going to have some classes!" Zuko
"And you thought I was a bad teacher." Kadon
"You're a great teacher!! of Akuma."  Ioni
"Look she may have been evil but she was good at what she did."  Kadon
"Yes, trying to kill other people."  Ioni
Zuko plays a cymbol sound.
"Was that you, Mnemia?" GM
"No!  That's the same app that you hated so much."  Zuko
"I don't remember that noise."  GM
"That's because you only heard"  Zuko plays the wah wah wah waaaaaaaaah noise.

"What we could do is play the Whale song for everybody and see who tries to kill who."  Ioni
"Play what?" GM
"The whale music on the ship?"  Ioni
"And why would that send people into a murderous rage?" GM
"Cuz it did?" Ioni
"Cuz that was the signal on the boat?" Kadon
"Riiiiiiiight, okay.  I don't recall describing it that way, but.."  GM
"We read between the lines, we know what you meant."  Kadon
"I think you're..." GM
"Especially with Assfinger."  Zuko

"Oh riiight, forgot about that.  So the other thing, angle, stuff and thingy... The kid-napped Nessa and have ... It's been a long week, just shush" Kadon as others giggle.
"I just love that GM had to IM you about it and 'oh right, yeah, that.'"  Zuko
"Uh what?" Kadon
"Oh, I just assumed GM IMed you about her."  Zuko
"No, I didn't mention her at all.  She had just kind of slipped my mind as well.  I just find it amusing the picture in my head of 'oh right! My girlfriend who I've been cheating on!'"  GM
"Look, I've.... had a lot." Kadon
"You guys have more relationship Issues than Ioni does."  Ioni
"Ioni's pretty straight forward about it."  GM
"That's because we have relationships, and not just PUT IT IN!" Zuko
"Some days, that's all you want." Ioni
"Those days are when you're a whore!" Zuko
"Yes, they've got Nessa, and they want Ioni and her box...And we know surprisingly little about her box." Kadon trying to get back on track while the rest giggle like 11yr olds
"We'll have to explore the issue later." Ioni
"...."  Kadon
"You walked into that one.  That was pretty bitchin' have to give her credit." Zuko
"Yay, I got credit for a bad joke."  Ioni
"You could walk in too, there's plenty of room."  Kadon

"It was a brief mention, but it got pushed aside when someone found someone else's vibrator."  GM
"And Paul Ryan had to hoist it up."  Ioni
"HELPING!" Mnemia
"The best way to side track our group.  Vibrator!" Zuko

"Zuko in on this?"  Ioni
"Zuko may participate in this if he wishes."  GM
"We need a perception investigation roll from you but, I don't think you want Kadon rolling for you."  Ioni in the background.
"Oh god hell no!  Sorry! I was doing dishes so Ioni wouldn't beat me!" Zuko
"Very interesting relationship you two have"  GM
"You don't know the half of it.  Perception Investigation?"  Zuko
"Yes" GM
"Yep, this is what I have to deal with."  Zuko
"Yeah, free food! Shut up!"  GM
"Free?" Zuko
"Well you have to pay for the ingredients. She at least knows thaumaturgical rituals to put them together to make them tasty."  GM griping.
"I know Thaumaturgical rituals?" Ioni then runs off to get the phone
"Zuko, I call bullshit on your excuse.  I know for a fact while I was there, I didn't do dishes at all and she didn't beat me no matter how hard I asked."  Kadon
"There's... the bitterness alone!" GM
"What happened?"  Ioni
"Ioni answered a phone call from I don't know who right as you said that, Kadon."  Zuko
"What did Kadon say?" Ioni
"You can read it in the transcript later.  That's why we have recordings." Zuko
"You are such a classy group."  GM
"You were saying something, Kadon about what?" Ioni
"Don't worry about it." Zuko
"Him not lifting a finger to clean dishes and he still got fed?" Ioni
"No, just dont' worry about it."  Zuko
"Who am I going to strangle?" Ioni
"No one!  It'll be a fun surprise when you listen later.  It was funny.. Chill the fuck out."  Zuko
"I have this burning desire to punch something now." Ioni
"Well you have a burning desire towards Kadon then."  Zuko
"Kadon, how'd you like a black eye."  Ioni
"He's rather your brown eye."  Zuko
"Ohhh dude, not cool."  Ioni
"What happened?" GM
"Zuko asked if he'd like a brown eye."  Ioni
"What?!" Kadon
"Ioni asked if he'd like a black eye, and I said he'd prefer your brown eye."  Zuko
"I've always been partial to pink one... but." Kadon
"Perverts, you're all perverts!" Ioni

"The grove appears to be uh... the bubble of time seems to be more corrosive than other points now."  GM
"The one at the Grove does?" Kadon
"Yea" GM
"Is this due to squirrel?" Kadon

"Given the fact that we are spending our time creating a bubble around us so we can work through the time freeze, I'm going to spend my time looking for blue space elves."  Zuko

"You pop it open.... It appears to be..." GM
"No... no one's opening it.  Can't Kadon see through it?" Zuko
"It appears to be made of Mystic Metal." GM
"Can I check to see if it's going to be dangerous if I open it?" Zuko
"Alright..." GM

"DAMMIT Why must that cat sound so cute!?"  Ioni as Mnemia's cat starts begging for dinner.
"It's the only way it'll survive."  Zuko
"I'm helping!" Kadon

"Keep in mind all we gotta do is disable its propulsion and then take it some where else to analyze it."  Mnemia
"I would like to confirm its not a fucking bomb!" Kadon

"11 GM." Zuko
"And I have 4." Kadon
"You have perception larceny?!" Zuko
"I have perception!" Kadon

In Skype IM:
"It'd be funny if I could use 'whore sight' to detect any tubes and projectiles that would spew forth form that" Ioni
30 minutes later.
"You are welcome to write up rules for whore sight, Ioni." GM
"It took you that long to see that?" Ioni
"I've had a snack in front of me!" GM
"I'm not even..." Kadon

"Asshole has gained entrance.  Asshole is poking at core.  Asshole is tampering." Mnemia
"The probe is able to record basic information about its surroundings." GM Lists off a bit...
"whores." Zuko adds.

"This thing is ginormous?" Kadon
"It could crush Nexus." GM
"It'd be nice to own it."  Ioni
"Yep, player characters, always looking for acquirement." GM
"We could store so much loot in there."  Ioni
"Loot or whores?" GM
"Whats the difference."  Ioni
"Alright, good to know."  GM
"It's a pleasure yacht."  Ioni
"That seems worth checking out." Kadon trying to get back on topic.
"Whore storage?" Ioni
"That's always worth checking out."  GM
"Are we doing vertical or horizontal storage on this." Ioni
"Uhm.. the only question is in which order."  Kadon
"All I can is Ruby Rod quoting 'I don't want one position, I want all positions!'" GM
"That is the mantra they are trained with."  Ioni

"....Altered this in whatever ways this has been altered then disrupting their plans might be counter productive..." Kadon
"Alright whatever Captain Compassion.... Jesus.. About like Wyld shaping yourself a servant race that allows you to gain willpower so you can do more things, then dissolving them later.  But this you got a problem with."  Zuko
"I have never actually done that, I'll just point out."  Kadon
"I thought that's what you did when you made Core Ignis.  That you wyld shaped yourself a cult so you could gain back willpower while you worked on it."  Zuko
"no.." Kadon

"The Doctor calls and tells you that whatever you are doing, don't stop.  You're pretty sure you can hear Mercury in the background.  She's incredible ... happy."  GM
"Alright everyone, lets turn around and get out of here."  Zuko
"Tell me they share some fuckin' details?" Kadon
"Uhhh...  You're gonna need Ioni to properly describe the feeling she's... currently going through.. This is more her area of expertise."  GM
"It's very dangerous.. we need to get out of here now." Zuko
"Wait wait wait... what... wha...whaha??!"  Ioni
"Moving through this empty space is getting her off?!" Kadon
"Maybe." GM
"Someone is going on a journey where no man has gone before." Zuko
"Up her butt." Ioni
"Yeah, I suppose that makes sense."  Kadon
"We are in her black hole."  Zuko
"Dude dude, guess what.  We have found Mercury's clit."  Ioni
"And I wyld-shaped it." Kadon
"Apparently Ioni has different understanding of anatomy than the rest of us..."  Zuko
"She's an incarnae!  Maybe she spread herself a little thin and forgot something!" Ioni
"Annywhoo...Do they give any details, or is it just keep doing what you're doing...?" Zuko
"Well he seems very embarrassed and does not want any further part of whatever the fuck is goin on.  But the impression you get is that Mercury is very happy with something that is happening and it's very much a 'oh god don't stop, oh god don't stop.'" GM
"It's not like when a cat attacks and it's holy fuck holy fuck shit damn fuck?"  Ioni
"I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it's like." Mnemia
"Dammit Ioni."  GM

Upon finding a growing Universe that Kadon created:
"Dude! It's like you're a salmon.  You dropped your eggs, someone came by and squirted semen on it.  And now you have a baby salmon that is going to swim to the Ocean and grow up!" Ioni

"Apparently we're getting Mercury off.  Who votes leave?" Zuko
"I vote leave, gotta leave her hanging."  Ioni
"Wow, you're mean!  You are like the worst Mistress ever!" GM
"Why do we care that Mercury is getting off?"  Mnemia
"Exactly!  what are we gonna get out of it!" Zuko
"Cuz she's an ally?  And if she gets off, good for her" Mnemia
"she's not that big of an ally."  Zuko
"We begrudge her orgasm?"  Mnemia

"Jupiter still knows who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop."  Zuko
"Jupiters got us hanging inside her locker?" Mnemia
"Pretty much." Zuko

"We should leave something so they can call us the forerunners."  Ioni
"We'll make a plaster mold of Ioni's vagina so all people will worship it."  Zuko
"Sounds good."  Ioni

"Jupiter will not go.  She seems to be throwing a lot of passive aggressive at me.... So obviously its one of you fuckers!" GM
"Dude, if us screwing around in this Galaxy will cause the Unconquered Sun to get off his ass cuz Jupiter won't take her turn, this is the best thing we've done all campaign."  Mnemia

"If the Unconquered Sun looks down on Creation and notices that 95% of it is fuckin' frozen..." Mnemia
"Huh.. when did that happen." GM
"Too bad I don't give a shit." Zuko
"He's all out of fucks to give as well, huh?" Mnemia
"I'm just trying to figure out how to roll the other Maidens into here so it's a party.  Unfortunately, mother fuckers stole my girlfriend!" Kadon

"Where's the mother fucking nukes?  We're in orbit, we should fire them off right now just to be sure." Ioni
"Orbit around which."  GM
"I don't care!  Any of it!" Ioni
"let's not nuke a maiden.  That might be a bad idea." Mnemia
"Stop trying to blow up my universe!" Kadon
"Oh come on, you'd like a fiery death!" Ioni
"I worked for like 10-20 minutes on this Universe, stop trying to fuck with it!"  Kadon
"It's only 10-20 minutes, it's not like it's you're entire life time."  Ioni
"She's not fucking with it, she's looking out one of the portholes of it going PEW PEW PEW PEW."  Mnemia
"Well if it were still the Wyld that might be a thing."  Kadon
"After a while she makes explosion sounds then moves on." Mnemia

"Those will wear out on ya from time to time."  Zuko
"Here's a new dildo" Ioni
"Have you had the timing belt done recently?  Cuz uh, you should get the timing done, just saying.  Not saying it's the timing, just that you should get it done." Kadon
"You are horrible people and I'm not ever taking my car to you."  GM
"Are any of us mechanics?  I don't think we are!  Why would you take your care to us to begin with."  Ioni
"That's an interesting question that I'm not dealing with today.  So, what are you doing?" GM
"Getting Naked." Zuko
"Flying back to creation."  Mnemia
"Spitting in a handkerchief and throwing it out the window so that everything has Ioni's DNA in it."  Ioni
 "I don't' know, given Ioni's occupation, that spit may have more than just Ioni in it." GM
"No, it's that Ioni just has everyone else's DNA inside her." Mnemia
"Oh I get it, it's cuz she's a whore!" Zuko

"Believe you me, both reverse engineering and recycling are in the forefront of Kadon's mind at this point."  Kadon
"Kadon believes in recycling and reusing." Zuko
"Rinse recycle and reuse."  Ioni
"And when we bomb the Bull of the North's army from the air, we'll recover my army and recycle them!" Mnemia

"Zuko, maybe you want to journey to the toilet, maybe Mercury will show up there." Mnemia
"That will be a little awkward."  Ioni
"Especially when he whips it out to take a piss, she shows up to talk."  Mnemia
"How I roll... Don't judge me." Zuko
"While standing on the ceiling."  Mnemia
"That way there's no splash back!" Ioni
"Bout time you figure out how it works."  Zuko

"5 dex, 5 martial arts, that stream don't go anywhere I don't intend it."  Zuko
"That means you're peeing on the ceiling."  Kadon
"Thats right, cuz fuck you guys." Zuko

"You do eventually find the Doctor and he has this look on his face that he has seen something he cannot un-see." GM
"He saw Honey-Boo-Boos mother naked."  Ioni
"I love it how you think in images!" Ioni

"Just so long as I remember the world does not revolve around me."  GM
"Oh you're good at that.  I'm giving you kudos man.  you play a teenage girl very well.  Just take it."  Ioni
"GM Just remember... Don't play another lesbian who thinks she's gonna get Rokugan to accept and enjoy her as she is."  Zuko

"Not that she was self centered, she was just stupid.  It was her first month or two driving around with boobs and she didn't know what to do with them." GM
"We're still very surprised you weren't masturbating with them, or constantly touching them to feel yourself up because you now have boobs."  Ioni
"Admittedly any guy in that situation.." GM

"I find it highly amusing that the one Sora considers as her best friend nearly got her raped by her room mate."  GM
"I believe while Kadon was describing that, I sent him an IM saying WTF I didn't mean for it to go that far." Ioni
"You considered KAI your best friend?  How fucking stupid are you?!"  Zuko

"Whats our second player driven plot?" Mnemia
"I'll let you know when it becomes general knowledge."  GM
"It's mind" Ioni resigned
"Oh god dammit." Zuko
"Am I right, GM?" Ioni
"Wow, there's some anger....  For the most part."  GM

"So you're not the only fucktards galavanting through the Universe."  GM
"We're not fucktards, we're belligerent jerks." Ioni
"Some of us are fucktards." Mnemia
"Assholes."  Zuko
"Though to be honest, that whole thing is Ioni's fault."  GM
"Wait, what?!" Ioni

"The war between 2 death lords?  All Ioni."  GM
"YES! That's awesome!  How did I do this and how do I keep it going?!" Ioni
"Oh fuck, what did you do this time." Zuko
"I'm going to blame the invisible Manse and what you did to the corpses there."  Mnemia

"I did pray them back the UCS.... Whats wrong with that?" Ioni
"I don't think they liked that."  Zuko
"If you're the epitome of darkness and you're prayed back to God, I don't think they like that." GM
"Ohh... I thought they were good people." Ioni
"No...." Mnemia
"Ioni we went over this.  You can't claim ignorance anymore sweetie."  Zuko
"Dammit." Ioni

"The problem with the Succulent Tears Brothel is all drama, that might be good to deal with..." GM
"My fault." Ioni jokingly.
"Also Ioni's fault." GM
"It is?!" Ioni
"GODDAMIT!!! Why did we let you join?!" Mnemia
"Cuz nobody knew better and I had amnesia.  I still need to talk to you GM about that, cuz my character does have amnesia."  Ioni
"Yeah, we should kinda go over that a little bit more." GM
"No........We can do everything that's not that too." Zuko suffering

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