Thursday, February 21, 2013

Painting Minis... right....

WOOT! DIE HARD MOVIE.  *Note: Turn on the closed captioning and select English as the beta translation.*

*swishing sounds*
"Taking bong hits over there?" Kadon
"Yeah, seriously."  Zuko
"No, I'm cleaning up a brush from painting miniatures."  Mnemia
"Would be way cooler if Mnemia was *inhale* don't know what you're talking about."  Zuko

"We have mined more science fiction references than my brain can hold at one time."  Kadon
"Is there nudity?"  Zuko
"Unless you count holo=graphic cleavage, not really."  Kadon
"Ugh... Men or womens."  Zuko
"Ass or boob?"  Ioni
"Basically I have seen everything."  Zuko

"Who is hacking into the DMV?"  Zuko
"Not me..... Kadon."  Ioni
"I'm still painting minis, finger quotes."  Mnemia
"Mnemia...." Zuko
"Do you have naked minis?"  Kadon
"Do you call your penis a mini?"  Zuko
"Thought the joke was that I was getting high."  Mnemia dead pan.
"Ohhhh, okay."  Zuko
"It's just so far out of character for you..."  Kadon
"Couldn't hold on to the joke for that long?"  Mnemia

"Pardon me, I have a mouth full of girl scouts cookie.  All the girl scouts around here are selling cookies."  GM
"Yeah, I have had to resist many a time."  Kadon
"You have your mouth full of a girl scouts cookie..."  Zuko
"While that is technically correct... NO.  It's the thin mints, they call me."  GM
"Is that your nick-name?"  Zuko
"Huh?"  GM
"Nothing, continue.  I'm being stupid."  Zuko
"Now I'm imagining how someone can get that as a nick-name...  Thin, that parts easy... but mint?"  GM

GM introduces his time management goals.  Ioni starts wondering about a daily mock up....
"Fast and furious tapping?"  GM
"Uhmmm kay...  that was probably me, but it wasn't related to what you were saying."  Zuko
"Okay, then I mock you... but lovingly."  GM
"Or it was me."  Kadon
"You're loving the butt?"  Ioni
"It really depends on whose butt it is."  GM
"What?!"  Kadon
"This is what happens when I respond to Ioni.  Everyone goes 'wha?'"  GM
"I know, you have all taken it upon yourselves to do the smartest thing possible and ignore half of what I say."  Ioni
"You guys hear something?"  Zuko
"Sadly I'm not the smart person of this group, so I listened to it anyway."  GM
"I have some people for you to meet, and you can just listen to them until you feel like you're stupid."  Ioni

"She's good at manipulation, she can get them to say Mnemia's name."  Kadon
"I forget... what's the name of the big giant sword carrying bitch who kills people?"  Zuko
"Sorry Zuko, that's not really narrowing it down in this game."  Kadon
"That's what Scarlet is saying to get them to say Mnemias name."  Mnemia

"I'd like to order a case of mirrors from Chiaruscuro and have them shipped to Yushan please?" Kadon
"A case of mirrors?" GM
"Never mind." Kadon
"Yeah, sorry Kadon, I didn't get that either buddy."  Zuko

"So we're gonna go bug Mercury."  Ioni
"Uhhh huh!" Zuko
"Well we're gonna start with polite conversation."  Mnemia
"When have we ever started with polite conversation?" Ioni
"Oh we start with polite conversation all the time, it doesn't usually last throughout the entire first sentence."  Mnemia
"In our defense, that first sentence often goes down in and dpppdrerdrper fuckin' da derpaboooba."  Zuko
"Well stated."  GM
"Idealy she see's us coming and goes... don't say a word.  Here's whats going on.  Cuz she knows she doesn't want to hear what we have to say."  Mnemia

"Does anyone actually think they can stop us?"  Zuko

"The Doctor thinks its actually a horrible idea to bother someone after multiple orgasm." GM
"Well that's when she's the most ammenable to new things."  Ioni
"Has The Doctor ever had sex with a woman?....... And been responsible for those multiple orgasms?"  Mnemia
"Yeeees.?"  GM
"It's not like a spider where she bites your head off afterward."  Mnemia
"I'll admit sometimes its hard for them to talk... I can understand its hard for her to talk, but its not 'oh man she's gonna kick your ass if you go talk to her now.'"  Zuko
"Especially when you are the source."  Mnemia
"If anything, she's going to want to cuddle."  Ioni
"Look, we found the incarnaes clitoris.  We are the worlds greatest detectives."  Zuko
"She's up for like massive amount of pillow talk here.  Lets get our learning on." Mnemia

"These pipes are cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeean."  Zuko

"Hang on, I'm fully exercising my brain."  GM
"I can smell the smoke from here." Zuko

"The floor, ceiling and walls are all of a reflective surface."  GM
"I'm greatful I'm wearing pants today!" Ioni
"Someone translate." GM
"Just what she said."  Kadon
"...kay...."  GM
"You're in a hall with a mirror floor!  We can see her hooha" Kadon
"Who hasn't!?" Zuko

"I am a medical examiner."  Kadon
"Who is constantly walking around with a hard on."  Zuko
"Damn thats a fine ass."  Ioni
"It's a brainer, don't worry." Zuko

"All I'm saying, is as much as we like the Doctor, if he doesn't stop his bitching or we're gonna make him rearrange a few more neighborhoods."  Zuko
"Excuse him if he doesn't want to be associated with a people who are about to piss off not only a god, but his!"  GM
"Well she'll be praying 'oh god, more more more' or 'fuck damn fuck damn oh shit fuck damn.'"  Ioni
"Is that me?  Hang on."  Kadon

*tinkle tinkle*
"Whose peeing?"  Zuko
"Mnemia"  Ioni
"It's the mini's.  It's still the same cup of water!"  Mnemia
"I know, it just sounds like you're tinkling."  Zuko
"It's either that or it's Kadon."  Ioni
"Well Kadon is away, if thats the sound of water on his side, he might want to return."  GM
"That's some good aim!" Zuko

"If this is the door we reach, we're still gonna knock."  Mnemia
"It's always helpful to knock before entering."  Ioni
"It's not going to stop us, it's perfunctory."  Mnemia
"In case she needs to put stuff away before you enter?"  GM
"Bzzzzzzzzzzzz" Zuko

"You knock, but there is no response of any kind."  GM
"Crumpets!" Ioni
"there is no response to crumpets."  GM

"Ioni, owning a brothel you can tell the bed has recently seen action."  GM
"Well anyone can tell that.  It's probably rumpled.  Anyone can smell it according to Zuko, so yeah!" Ioni
"Feels like I just touched upon a conversation the two of you have had.."  GM
"Apparently when I'm gone for the weekend, Zuko just has chicks over and screws them on my bed."  Ioni
"Okay, so Zuko is not that good of a liar."  Kadon
"KADON HELPS!" Zuko in the background.
"Apparently Kadon helps according to Zuko."  Ioni
"Ioni is just easily lied to..." Kadon
"I just stop arguing with this shit after a while.  cuz there is no reason... Just eats up time."  Ioni

"We have to have sex in the next 30 minutes or the world is destroyed."  GM's favorite pick up line.
"Just give them three hundred dollars with the line and I'll guarantee it works every time."  Zuko
"Zuko.... Expert on hooker phenomena."  Kadon
"I'm pretty sure any line will work fine with a 300 dollar entry fee on there.  I'm just guess, but I'm pretty sure that I'm right."  GM
"Anywhere where 'spread 'em' is a pick up line, not some place you want to be."  Kadon

"So, perception investigation, is she a squirter?" Kadon about Mercury
*GM Sighs.*
"You would think the incarnae would have enough attendents that she wouldn't have to sleep on the wet spot after."  Zuko

"So lets just get out the strings here and see the origin of the trajectory and how far it went."  Kadon
*GM is stunned.*
"Question: How much paraphenalia is around the bed that is related to 50 shades of grey?"  Ioni
"Wait a second, wait a second.  Kadon, I think you're forgetting something very important. If the placenta and afterbirth from a primordial was a worthy crafting element... I'm pretty sure if we gather up these sheets we can craft something bitchin'." Zuko
"At the very least they will make the most awesome sailing ship ever."  Kadon
"Is the Doctor touching himself yet after all this talk?"  Mnemia

"Mine's teacup!" GM
"Wha?" Kadon
"Safe word... nevermind!" GM
"That's his favorite... y'know.  That's GMs favorite safe word at the BDSM clubs these days."  Zuko
"I would have gone with kumkwat."  GM
"That's too much like cum and squat."  Ioni
"Yep, which is GMs favorite activity at the BDSM club."  Zuko

"If everyone did a reading, then longest wedding ever!" GM
"Not true, some Indian weddings go on for weeks."  Ioni
"Challenge accepted?"  GM
"Okay, when you get married, you can have a wedding that goes for months."  Ioni
*tinkle tinkle tinkle of Mnemia and the minis.*

"Where's Harlotry?"  Zuko
"Somewhere in the middle of town.  I believe Ioni has interests there."  GM
"Yes.... what are they doing to my district?"  Ioni
*bzzz bzzz*
"Might not respect my clam!" Zuko
"Note to self, do not write anything for you fuckers again in the last 10 minutes.  Always have a good day of proof reading."  GM
"I thought that was a given."  Ioni
"Always respect the clam!" Kadon
"Trying to do something nice for you guys and this is what I get in return?"  GM getting snippy
"Because Breading didn't last for four weeks."  Mnemia
"That one wasn't me.  I take no responsibility for breading.  Well I do for her actions, but beyond that..."  GM

"You guys read, I'm going to go heat up some pizza.  If you have any questions just yell them out and I might hear them."  GM
"Are you using chopsticks for pizza?" Ioni
"NO!"  GM

"Is there a giant 'ass mountain' somewhere?"  Zuko
"You do not think that is a proper pronoun.  You think it's a descriptor."  GM
"Well its in Harlotry.  I expect there to be an ass mountain with a massive ogre on top."  Zuko

"She's saying not to fuck with it after the freeze, but we can fuck with it before the freeze ends."  Ioni
"I'm pretty sure that's what she is saying.  We can go to the tower of Rais.... Tower of Ravens. .....Tower of Raisins..."Kadon
"Heard it through the grape vine.." Zuko

"A respected clam is a happy clam."  Kadon
"Kadon..." Ioni
"Right Ioni?"  Kadon
"Kadon... lower the creepy vibe just a little."  Ioni
"Awwwww!" Kadon
"He doesn't know how!" Zuko

"Any reason why we can't just kill him."  Zuko on our beloved intern
"Yes."  Ioni and Kadon
"Interested in hearing your take on it, Ioni."  GM
"He obviously needs to be shamed for his choice in fucking."  Ioni

"Fortunately or unfortunately, Kadon is more practical than embarassed."  Kadon
"Maybe its time for Kadon to go to Caleb and ask who his daddy is."  Mnemia
"Who is yo daddy and what does he do."  Kadon
"Zuko is interested in interogating him.  Come with me Caleb into this room here.  Don't worry that it's sound proof.  That doesn't mean a thing." Zuko
"Do not waste my interns."  Kadon
"Don't worry." Zuko

"I'm going to interrogate the fuck out of this kid.... You can heal like severed limbs, right?" Zuko
"...No?!" Kadon
"Dammit!"  Zuko
"I can repair health levels, and I can repair them fast."  Kadon
"Well we just won't have as much fun."  Zuko

"Who?" Zuko
"You're going to threaten to break one of my arms if I don't tell you."  GM resignedly.
"No... promise."  Ioni
"Why yes, you CAN see the future."  Kadon

"Kadon..... As soon as we're far enough away.... Kadon... you got some 'splainin' to do to Nessa buddy."  Zuko
"sigh.... oh for fucks sake, really?" Kadon
"I've never seen Ribbons up this close with this charm, and given I don't think Nessa is a Sidereal... Near as I can guess with Ribbons particular strange talents, probably 10 or 12 years from nowish.... He don't know."  Zuko

"Just for the record guys, I didn't plan for you to take and pacific.... pacific action you guys... Fuck you."  GM
"Atlantic action?"  Zuko
"" Kadon
"Don't you start with that joke.  I have enough people giving me that joke already.  I'm gonna nip that in the bud right here right now no!  But when players take a specific charm I kind of expect them to go hey, lets use it over here.  So for the last 6-7 sessions I've been goin' HEY WHY YOU USE NO CHARM!?" GM

"I don't like to hide things from you guys.  So now.... Silken Sky... and ZIS... and my wife... all have the same daddy."  Zuko
"It's Gavin, right?" Mnemia
"Oh if it's Gavin, I'm gonna fuckin' kill GM and he knows it.  I will butcher GM if he does that."  Zuko
"I will give you this much he is not the daddy."  GM
"He's the mommy, that is also not acceptable.  If I am in any part related to Gavin, I will hurt you GM."  Zuko

"Let's go to Nexus and..." Zuko
*Kadon blows his nose loud enough to drown out the rest.*

"When it comes to ZIS, I already tore that bitch up."  Zuko
"Sexually?" Ioni
"He tore her head off."  Mnemia
"It was awesome.  I can't wait to tell Scarlet I killed her sister."  Zuko
"I really wanna see how that plays out with you."  GM
"Oh c'mon.  Zorana killed her tons of times.  I'm allowed at least one sister!" Zuko

"Not being related to anyone is a feat in and of itself."  Kadon
"Dude, I am emaculate all over."  Ioni
"I...." Kadon
"I'm not sure how to retort to that."  GM

"As I was sayin'.  Three way baby.  Some where out there.  Quick question GM.  Is Kadon Arnold Shwarzeneggar or is he Danny DeVito?"  Kadon
"Oh for fucks sake.  As I haven't seen that movie beyond the reviews..."  GM
"You haven't seen Twins?"  Zuko
"The people I have heard from..." GM
"The people who you have heard from are fuckin' stupid!" Zuko
"Yeah, I gotta agree with Zuko on this one."  Kadon
"Hey Kadon, whats the fourth rule in any crisis situation?" Zuko
"Don't fuck your mom."  Ioni
"DUCK!" Zuko
"Was that a Howard the Duck reference?"  GM
"No, what were we just fucking talking about!?" Zuko

"As soon as he mentioned getting that charm, I was like, well there's a whole lot of secrets that are coming out fast." GM
"Like Siracha sauce on a whore." Ioni
"Yeah well... So Ioni, you sit down to meditate..." GM
"WHAT?! Like Siracha sauce on a whore... things that will come out fast?"  Zuko
"Two things in my brain, mashed them into a sentence, you're the only one to call me on it."  Ioni
"Do you mother fuckers get what I have to deal with?" Zuko
"As if there were ever any doubt."  Kadon

"While you meditate, you fall asleep." GM
"GODDAMN I suck at meditation.  I rolled a ten!" Ioni
"You're still wearing that Tiara."  GM
"Yeah, I'm still wearing that.... And no I am not sucking people off while I meditate!" Ioni to room mate in the background.
"I'll have to assume that was Zuko off mic and not the voices in your head." GM
"Mmmhm, both."  Ioni

"You get the impression that on the inside you would find.." GM
"another box?" Ioni
"No, not in the way you are intending."  GM
"Another vagina?" Ioni
"Not .... no.  You get the impression of a very large facility..."  GM
"For creating vaginas?" Ioni
"You want to succeed at this roll or not woman?"  GM
"Did you say creating or korean vaginas?"  Zuko
"Creating. Please continue.  I'll use a phrase you'll rarely hear. Please continue, I beg of you." Ioni
"Oh that just hurt!" GM
"Also a line GM would not hear."  Zuko

"Only rape if you don't want it."  GM
"If Monkey Butler wants to nail some flying Monkeys, Scarlet and I can go find those up pretty quick."  Zuko

"There is one thing we care about, Monkey Butler, is you getting your freak on."  Zuko
"A happy butler is a good butler?" GM
"Everyone deserves to get their bone on."  Zuko
"I seem to remember every time that Gavin gets his bone on someone punching him in the face."  GM
"Gavin doesn't count as a person!" Zuko

"Happy Birthday Kadon!  And I gave you a kid for your birthday! Now both you and Mnemia are parents!" GM

"So I had a thought.. silly me.  About where we play our children in Exalted 3."  Mnemia

"Nice."  Kadon on link1 and link2
"Ohhh Ioni... that took me a while... What the hell.... You have no heart."  GM
"That's amazing."  Zuko

Obligatory link.
Followed by...

And Later that week while quotes are written up....

"Like Siracha Sauce on a whore."  Ioni
"While a fan of Sriracha... not sure if I would want it on a whore... also not sure how much you'd have to pay them to put said sauce on themselves, because I have to guess that stuff burns like hell."  GM
"300 bucks and your famous pick up line.  Again, at your BDSM club."  Ioni
"What is my famous pick up line?" GM
"Oh, good.  Someone didn't ignore her.  And now this is a thing."  Mnemia
" "we have 30 minutes to fuck or the world will end" GM.  Zuko just said 'you really should learn!' in reference to ignoring me."  Ioni

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