Sunday, April 29, 2012

You'd think he'd expect the jokes by now.

"An awesome coffee table book.  101 ways to call someone a whore."  Ariko

"Can you hear me now?" Sora
"Yes, why are you fellating your mic?" Ariko

"And good god, what was that noise?" Ariko
"That was the cat."  Sora
"That's what you call your room mates bastard?" Ariko
"Yes, the child that Sora's room mate forced herself on him for?" Kai
"Fuck you, Kai." Sora

"Is she sitting in your lap and violently forcing herself on you?" Ariko
"Fuck you!" Sora via text
"Yes, your mic is definitely better, Sora" GM

"What can you use awesome points for?" Kai
"Access to Kai."  Ariko
"Hey! I'm not for sale!" Kai
"You're being rented not sold." Ariko

"Do not watch Hetalia.  That will kill your brain its so stupid." Alcyone

"This Just in!  Lumber shortage in China crushes worldwide chopstick supply."  Ariko

"Now you sound muffled, ask your room mate to step away."  Kai
"What?!" Sora
"Don't ask."  GM

"Are we on the boat now?" Alcyone
"We haven't even started playing you asshole!" GM

"I will intervene, slide in between the coat and guide Sora away."  Kai
"The brainwashing while she is sleeping is working." Alcyone

"Can I try to explain to Sora about that?" Kai
"Okay..." GM
"Ok, one intelligence, so.  Coats bad.  Boys impregnate you - wait that's more than one syllable."  Kai
"What.... I don't think that's right, but if Sora believes it than all the better."  Alcyone

"The student has been reminded of their body." GM

"Oh I know!  Armor at the founders festival is not proper and not traditional, take it off."  Kai
"Hahah, I just love how it's, blah blah blah blah *all light and happy* then take it off *angrily*"  Alcyone

"Is Sora a sound sleeper?"  Kai
"Uh, yes.  That is one of her tropes.  I was not aware of the implications until now."  Sora

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, any campaign that starts with date rape is a good campaign."  Ariko

"I'm not sure how Sora is going to process that.  This is all new." Sora
"All nude?" Ariko
"All new, my mic isn't that good."  Ariko

"I will dance with them, and check their dexterity to see if they are the ninja.  In dancing, not sex."  Kai

"I make a point to ask them all their names." Kai
"..... Oh fuck you, Kai."  GM after a while.

"Make your move Sora!  Get your scissoring on!" Alcyone
"Or, Sora thinks she's a guy...." Kai

"What are the chances Alcyone sees this?" Alcyone
"You are an evil cock block."  Sora
"It's more like a twat block." GM

"In the alternative world we have you fucking your room mate" GM
"Spank it!" Kai
"That is disturbing on so many levels."  GM

"We are climbing back into character with a character who wants to fuck Sora."Alcyone
"It's not easy" GM

"Its like you're sword fighting with your fingers." Ariko
"You're in depth knowledge of sword fighting is amazing." GM
"I have crossed plenty of swords in my time." Ariko

"Are you trying to climb in the fridge again?" Kai
"Yes, one of these days, I'll make it.  I'll find Narnia in there."  Ariko

"Why are you guys assuming I have big boobs" Sora
"Appearance 5!" All

"If I had the books, I would light them on fire.  Do you want me to light them on fire?" Kai all happily.
"Ariko is going to collect her books and run screaming from the room."  Ariko
"Always trying to be helpful, aren't you, Kai."  Alcyone.
"I try! ^_^" Kai
"Going to have to modify the brain washing tonight."  Alcyone
"Time to up those meds." Sora

"GM, is what you are telling me, that she comes sooner in the alphabet that me?" Sora
"What the fuck?" All

"Well I should have gone to work today, but I didn't." Ariko
"You work on the weekend?" Sora
"You don't?  What the fuck have you been complaining about!?" Ariko
"Well, work shouldn't take away the week!" Sora
"It's called work!" Ariko

"There are times for tarting and there are times for proper.  This is time for proper."  Alcyone

"Yes, that will work well.  I only have one condition."  GM
"I know we should have brought Sora.  Okay, take it off guys!"  Ariko
"Keep in mind, Kai is average looking."  GM
"Oh Crap, I'm better looking.  Itadakimas!" Ariko

"Alcyone, you're not an expert but you get the feeling she is going to turn on the Love Aura."  GM

"Bad things happen because the bad hurt!" Ariko

"I am going to miss Kai's one point of Int because now I can't do the Idiot plot."  GM

"Okay Sora, we were talking about teachers and stuff and we totally forgot you are a receptacle for dragon blood seed."  Ariko

"Okay GM, roll faculty" Ariko

"Maybe he's into little girls."  Kai
"Suddenly Sora wants to be a part of this conversation" Sora
"Sora's into little girls?!"  GM
"NO!" Sora

"We'll look for love first, then we'll look for whores."  Alcyone

"And when I fuck him I can scream, go ninja go ninja go!"  Kai

"Jiggle jiggle.... jiggle jiggle... jiggle jiggle.."  GM
"Are we talking about Sora's boobs again?" Ariko
"Yep" GM

"Ohh... God, I can't take you anywhere."  Alcyone

"Kai, how many languages do you speak?"  Ariko
"None..." Kai
"How many dots of linguistics do you have?" Ariko
"None..... Zero!" Kai
"Oh, good.  You speak High Realm... I write everything in Old Realm."  Ariko

"And also start it with... in a world where..." Sora
"Yeah, no....  Even with an Int of one, I am shooting that one down."  Kai

"She is attractive in a..." GM
"Overly booblier way?" Kai
"What?"  GM
"Overly booblier way... Sorry, it's hard to say" Kai
"Yes, well...." GM
"You just want to motor boat her?" Kai

"She is off in a corner dealing with something on her own."  GM
"It's a terracotta dildo."  Kai
"It's not a terracotta dildo" GM
"I'm glad we made certain of that" Alcyone
"I can craft one for you."  Ariko

"I try to enter her.............. field of vision."  Alcyone

"Oh wait, I'm pregnant.  I forgot."  Sora

"Is she Sora bait?"  Kai
"Yes, yes she is Kai."  GM
"-.-" Sora's response
"I'm not sure what that emoticon is supposed to be.  Something dripping form something else?" GM

"Why don't we  have the lolli run up to him, do the finger pointy finger fending things.  And have her ask, Mister, which teacher do you like?" Kai
"He has taught this lolli several destructive spells.  I don't think he would fall for that" Alcyone

"Yo, sensei, which one of these do you want to put your dick in?"  Ariko
"I don't think he would expect that from the lolli"  GM

"You could glean some information from him."  GM
"Oh, he doesn't matter" Ariko

"We just need him to have something fuckable at the party, not that he needs to get it in."  Ariko

"First of all, No.... and then... NO!" Sora
"It's so cute you still think you have a choice."  Kai

"Shut up Meat!"  Ariko
"Again, the 11 year old yelling at me"  Sora
"And Meat has reappeared" GM

"You ladies have been talking to my mother" GM
"Oh fuck!" Sora
"YOU TOLD US TO!" Ariko

"For fucks sake, I have been waiting for you to talk to Hix for 2 fucking hours!  And you want to talk to Taiga, then everyone else..."  GM

"You have explicitly told me that a direct approach would not work!" Alcyone

"Oh you don't have to put them all in there" Kai

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I like the fishies cuz they're so delicious.

"Sora, how old are you?" Ariko
"Don't crush all my dreams!" Sora
"I'm just saying the naivete has got to stop at some point." Ariko

"Then do yourself a favor.  At the end of the game, when the missiles go off, just turn it off."  Ariko

"What the fuck?  Exalted Star Wars the Old Republic?"  Ariko

"All you have to do is stand up there in a bunny suit and sing."  Alcyone
"In that case we should call ourselves Mangina" Kai
"Tonight, in the quad - Everyone Gets Laid." GM

"Everyone is mellow, everyone is having happy times together.  It's just.. euhhhhh" Alcyone in disgust.

"Sora, tell me you didn't make one of your characters connections an NPC from your game."  Ariko

"I blame the Supreme Court" Sora
"And Sora has never been more aroused."  Ariko
"By the Supreme Court?" Kai
"Yep" Ariko

"Or grow wood.  Like go behind a tree and pretend they grew wood."  Ariko on dirty pictures.
"I am wood aspect."  Sora

"I am not sure if I should be flattered or not" Sora
"You are what I tell you are." Alcyone
"I think we just crossed a line.  Speeding past on a mo-ped." Sora

"Actually I was going to ask Sora to help me with my notes" Kai
"Well that's the blind leading the blind." Alcyone

"So she takes stills of her room mate while you are sleeping and sells them to the boys." Alcyone

"That would be a totally acceptable way to call off a game.  Guys, I can't.  I've got to go fuck the delivery girl.  That's classy."  Ariko

"So, Sora, that being said.  You have probably discovered the Exalted equivalent of tampons.  But this being high school, rumors abound."  GM
"Just don't laugh too hard."  Kai

"It's not an anime if there aren't panty shots."  Alcyone

"Cowbell" Sora
"No cowbell.  You don't need to flurry on the cowbell."  Alcyone

"As we leave, I ask, shall we mark her down as overly receptive or in need of more indoctrination."  Ariko
"I have joined a cult."  Sora

"Strife makes people better." Alcyone

"There is probably more cleavage in all of Soras cleavage than in Ariko's boobs." Alcyone

"And tell Sora its all okay because it's traditional."  Alcyone

"We are going to have boobs padded with catnip."  Kai

"Do we know the dimensions of the Harpists - to deck them out."  Alcyone

"What did you summon?" Sora
"The old spice man."  Alcyone

"It was a totally reasonable plan until the Lolli summoned a demon." Alcyone

"The things that you will say that you won't know the meaning to."  Alcyone
"Oh the things that will be coming out of your mouth."  Kai

"I would think that basic human reasoning would be able to factor in."  Sora
"Since when is that pertinent in an anime?" Alcyone

"She says - oh, hello!"  GM very girly and Kai breaks down laughing.
"Oh, is that Robin Williams?" Sora
"Work with me here!  I only have so many female voices available to me."  GM

"You like to feel like you have free will in this game, Sora.  When you really don't."  Alcyone

"Has the demon started sounding more like Nicholas Cage?" Kai
"Dammit Kai!" Sora

"How do I..." Sora trails off on how to avoid makeup
"Stay wet, really wet." Kai
"What?!" GM
"I'm with the GM on this." Sora
"You can't apply makeup to a wet face." Kai

"Those are closer to what Alcyone wears" Alcyone after Kai goes searching for panties online.
"Oh, I should enchant my arrows!" Ariko

"Would you just put it in me already!" GM

*Laughter at a .GIF of a dildo flying into someones face.*
"I take it I should have taken that download?" GM
"Yes, you should have taken that."  Ariko

"80 year old sagging breasts are much better than 80 year old nut-sack.  And 80 guys will walk around showing their wrinkly nut sack."  Ariko
"Okay, I'm back" Sora
"Oh! Something caught your interest!" Ariko

"As my room mate pointed out to me.  Are we on the boat yet?" Ariko

"Mines still an instrument."  Ariko
"That's Johnny's leg." Kai
"That's not his leg."  GM

"I check my drawers.  Do I have panties?  Do I have extra panties?... All I have is these lacy panties that are lacy ass cheek huggers" Kai
"Are they clean?" Sora
"No, they are used panties.  Yes!  Why would I give you dirty panties?" Kai

"No, it's probably 45 minutes for Sora to do this."  Sora
"45 minutes to put on panties?"  Kai
"Well, yes."  Sora
"I will martial arts Sora down and shove her into those panties."  Kai
"Geeze Kai, I'm kinda scared."  Sora

"I'm amused that most of tonight has been about my character" Sora
"You're the one who wanted to be slightly different." Kai

"I can shoot lightning or Death of Obsidian Butterflies the crowd."  Ariko
"That would not be good." GM
"Large angry shouty words."  Sora

"Hey, GM, Can I cast Death of Obsidian Fireflies upwards harmlessly?"  Ariko
"No, it would be raining obsidian."  GM

"Better yet, Sora does not know, the skimpy outfits can be blamed on the wind stuff and not us!" Kai
"Yeah, the wind caused cat ears."  Alcyone

"They are engaged in Fisticuffs."  GM
"Finger-cuffs."  Ariko

"You must be cold, sorry Sora.  Would you like a hug?  Would some scissoring warm you up?"  Kai

"Shower beer!  You are not properly excited about this.  Why are you not excited!  Perhaps I need to explain this to you."  Ariko
"You can take a shower, drink a beer and pee in the shower at the same time."  Kai
"Yes!  You are insane, woman!" Ariko



Saturday, April 21, 2012

And on to Her Redness's School for Exalts

"Its just - Alcyone you have the tendency to be a bitch." Ariko
Hey, that's lovable alpha bitch!" Alcyone

"So, who here has enjoyed, while working on a game..." Sora
"Sex with a woman?" Ariko
"No, that's next." Sora

"No! Stop! You are arming the bile-o-tron"  Ariko

"I'm almost done, not that much to her." Sora

"Can I be in the Dodge club that is really good at dodging clubs?"  Kai

"I have ink and my skin, I figure a tattoo will be fine."   Kai

"Not Zuko, but Ariko!" GM
"I thought I would keep it simple for ya!" Ariko
"That's okay, Zuko is a girls name anyway" GM

"AFK - I have to go down and get the groceries" Sora
"Pussy whipped already" Ariko
"And he's not even getting some" Kai
"Yes, go down.  and get some." GM
"I hope you like fish" Kai
"And in my game, you all wake up in a cell" Sora/ExaltedGM

"So, how's the fish, Sora" Kai
"Well technically I haven't gotten close to it yet.  I'm eating tacos." Sora

"Oh! I forgot, I need to rotate my picture by 2 degrees" Kai
"Kill.... kill... kill..."  GM

"Oh GM, I have something sent to you"  Sora
"Sora [irl] naked" Ariko
*shudder* GM

"Lush Strumpet" Ariko
"Lush Strumpet has had her lush!" Kai

"I say we ought to have a topless ice cream joint"  Kai
"And this is why Kai got the job of president" Alcyone

"How are you making money off of practice exams?" Ariko
"How are you not making money off of practice exams" Kai

"You're either a lesbian or a sex change" Alcyone
"Sounds like an article for the Paper" Ariko

"We can have a booth where you can guess her gender" Ariko

"Between the topless president serving ice cream and the guess the gender of the transfer.  I think we are set" Alcyone

"Guess how butch the new person is is the total rage" Alcyone

"What is the roll to determine if this idea has any merit" Alcyone


Sunday, April 08, 2012

Jammer!

"Where have you been Tamiko?"  GM
"huh?" Tamiko
"Careful! Anything you say will be perverted" Toshiro
"Where have you been stuck?" GM
"Uhhh... the trash?" Tamiko


"What the hell is that noise?" GM
"Pay not attention to the background noise." Engeiko
"It sounds like a dish washer or sewing machine" GM
"The worlds largest wall mounted dildo" Toshiro
"It sounds diesel powered" Tamiko
"Drill, baby drill" GM

"What?!  Okay, GM, I realize this is me, but even I don't get 99% of what you say, and I find some pretty weird shit in what people say" Toshiro

"GM, you need to improve the quality of man you sleep with." Engeiko

"I am eating this pile of fortune cookies" Tamiko

"I am not wandering down an ally in kyuden bayushi."  Toshiro
"Yes, you are about to be a training exercise" Tamiko

"Getting into a strangers car and about to drive off with it, its not the first time." Toshiro

"There is not a lot of room on the boat, there is a lot of ass grabbing." Reika
"And not all of it is me." Toshiro
"Ow, I might not want to sit down, it might hurt." Tamiko
"Ass grabbing, not penetration." GM

"Look at him, he is a Crane, I am sure he is an accomplished ass jammer." Engeiko

"I am not really worried about the Scorpion." Tamiko

"And you are gonna put it in a toaster" Engeiko

"I don't remember a movie where at the end they shoved Michael Bay into a toaster oven." Tamiko

"Help us Obi Wan Crane-obi you're our only hope." Toshiro

"We can enchant him, make him better than he was before.  Better, Faster, Stronger.  We have the Kami."  Engeiko

"Why would you attack me?  I ain't done nothin'!" Tamiko
"Ain't that the truth" Toshiro

"Don't hurt yourselves,  okay Guys!" Tamiko
"Okay, I did not know that was an option!" Reika

"They want to attack the flaming one" Toshiro
"Then they ought to attack the Crane" Reika

"why are you using the unexploded version" Engeiko
"I have apparently gone mildly retarded" Tamiko

"I am sure the Empress gives Tamiko all sorts of energy" Engeiko
"Hush you, and stay out of my diary" Tamiko

"She said she wanted him dead, and this is how I do dead people." Engeiko

"I am better at casually glancing and not staring" Toshiro

"True, why don't you walk away, but lets do this anyway." Toshiro

"Okay, I am going to use a void on this, why not..." Tamiko
"Because you are already being raped." Reika

"And now for my damage roll" Toshiro
"Wait, wait." Tamiko
"Its to your hair, just take it!" Toshiro

Sunday, April 01, 2012

Who is that behind me?

"Don't get me wrong.  Girl on girl has magical properties."  Engeiko

"Jockey is selling used underwear." GM
"Wait, what?" Engeiko

"Do I want to know how going taint to mouth can power an ipad." Engeiko
"So help me do not share an answer to that" Tamiko

"You seem to over estimate my faith to the huh.... uh.... 7 tenants of bushido" Reika
"Yes.. the tenant of poontang" Engeiko

"Will the scorpion stand behind me." Tamiko
"What?!" Toshiro

"Its the size of the thing.  You can relax" Taro
"The size took her breath away" Engeiko

"I don't need to maintain concentration for that.  Oh geeze, that's big!" Tamiko

"This is one of those days you don't want to roll high....  Oh fuck you dice *rolls 45*" Tamiko

"Mountains for magic!" Engeiko
"Mounting for Magic" Toshiro

"I'm much less concerned about what they can do to us, because we're not nice people" Reika

"Look, as a player, I am totally with you on not wanting this bitch on our boat" Toshiro

"Bad things.. go... brain... HURT" Toshiro

"What kind of skills do these have?" Tamiko
"Well, they know a lot about taint" GM

"Attack the taint from both sides" Toshiro

"Did we actually make it on the boat?  Oh sweet Jesus we are!" Reika

"Skype was complaining about ioware." Tamiko
"Well, stop putting your i in the o" Toshiro
"His room mate probably thinks its kinky" Reika
"Euhhh. " Tamiko

"You see, if he buys it from the internet it will probably show up while he is at work and she will do something with her juices." Reika

"Tamiko boom is often scented" Toshiro

"My hands are warm right now.  My feet are ice, but my hands are warm."  GM
"Oh look, they have come down in price." Tamiko

"Okay lets do Reika idea because he is the only one fighting for an idea.  Congratulations, by attrition you have won." Toshiro
"We definitely don't agree with Tamiko, that's the only thing we agree on." Engeiko

"Two ponies, huh" Reika
"Yes, we measure everything in ponies" GM

"Where's the crane?  Did the crane see that?" Reika
"No" GM

"Okay, next time there is something in the sky following us, don't let me shoot it!" Tamiko

"Wait wait.  I am on fire.  Ninja shouldn't be able to hurt me when I am on fire! It's a well known fact" Toshiro

"These guys have conservation of ninjitsu" Engeiko

"And now begins the fuckining" Toshiro

"Who guards the hickey?" Toshiro

"you are looking at a TN of 45" GM
"Don't fuck this up, Tamiko.  I swear I will come through the internet after you." Reika

"It will make Toshiro unhappy, so I am all for it" Reika

"I killed the dragon, bitch.  A little girl with a tetsubo killed the dragon" Reika

"I think we wanted boats because moving slowly is the plan" Reika

"I know what you did and I know who you did it with" GM
"HAH!" Reika

"Do you know what you are doing?" Engeiko
"No?" Tamiko
"Borrowing Trouble" Engeiko