I have a tally for shit I've killed and a tally for shit rolls.

"I have ended the lives of 13 things since we started that magic sword fight."  Tijo

"It's like having a living poop in you that moves around."  Velika on pregnancy

"There's almost an inhuman scream that reverberates from out of her."  GM
"Oh cool, like an angry pregnant lady"  Velika

"It's nice to know what caused this module.  My girlfriend caught me jerking off to this and it is slightly less shameful if it was for D&D."  Tijo
"Hush you." GM

"Tijo reached out and touched him in the no no."  GM
"He catholic priested him?" Velika   "Too soon?"
"No, its the fact that he touched a trumpian that way." Lenore


"That makes it worse.  A little blind groping down there.  Maybe a little left?  no..."  Lenore


"What the hell did you people do!?" GM
"WE DONT KNOW!" Tijo

If the Roc wants a penis, the Roc can have a penis!

"Do Kenku even have penises?"  GM
"I thought we discussed that last time and yes they do." Tijo
"What?" GM
Velika starts googling.  "So Kenku do have cloaca, because they lay eggs.  Lets go to the message boards to see what that has to say."
"Oh now that's what you pick up on?" GM
"I don't think 4chan is going to be the best source for this." Lenore
"Well its not 4chan its a different place." Velika


"He likes the big titted blonde" GM
"So that's neither of us" Velika
"Well, you're not a 10.  More of a 6 or 7."  GM
"Well that bitch isn't gonna have a penis anymore." Velika

"Lenore stays by her side as part of a package." Lenore
"heh, nice package." Velika

"Why would I need to present these other ladies?" GM
"FOR THE FUCKENING" Roc

"Small.exe activate!"  Tijo
"I'll ask about a drink but I can't remember the date of it." Roc
"And your numbers are broke so they are all horse clip clops." Tijo

"You sneak into the room, gimme another stealth check." GM
"Is your perception high enough to notice the micro penis!?" Tijo

"REALLY?!  Now we have to kill him." Velika
"Yeah, thats it.  That guy is dying today." Tijo

"looking around, you see a large jar of gold face cream." GM
"now THAT's where the acid is going." Lenore

"Just going to crack open the door so I can hear when he comes.." Lenore
"heh... heh." Velika
"WHEN HE WALKS BY!"  Lenore

"What the hell is going on?" GM
"Fun times, lady!  Fun times!" Velika

 "The Roc will pick up a sausage and poke her with it. Does it stick?" Roc
"... Where does the Roc stick the sausage." GM

Packidges...

"I'm saying that once we get the thingy, then we can murder.  We just shouldn't murder before we get all the information."  Tijo
"The problem I'm having is you're saying murder doesn't solve problems.  That's what I'm not getting."  Lenore


"This is more a Moulin Rouge whore house, not a Sucker Punch whore house." GM
"But that was an insane asylum."  Lenore