The guy in charge was one of them!!!

 "I chat her up a bit." Roga

"You lube her up with shop talk" GM

"Then we start pumping."  Roga

"Yeah, take that information and pump it right into her." Ur

"Wait what?" GM

"That's dirty!  You make that word filthy!" Roga

"I'm gonna shut up now, I think someone's giggling too much." Roga

Hold up, I have to open up the mental cringe

 "don't you have to eat the salad to get the effect?"  Beefcake the Bold

"I DONT WANT TO WATCH HIM EAT!  Keep your fetish to yourself!" GM

"you are chopped up master race"  the burger to the chili

"Reaper is really hot.  Texas is Pizza the hutt.  You must suckle at his bits to get healed." Beefcake the Bold

"all throughout Rokugan, courtiers are turning into bowls of chili" GM

"I just went to google and typed in sexy chicken sandwich.  Yes this is a thing."  Reaper

"The google search of sexy chili is the gift that keeps on giving" Beefcake

"Look your character isn't smart enough" GM

"I had goddamn fries today, I'm a genius." Reaper

"Well someone needs the nipple." Reaper

"My colonel warned me of this." Reaper

"The chicken race has been oppressed and needs to rise up." Reaper

"out of character, are you coming on to him???"  GM

"Its Double stack... like boobs. stacked.....  I got four boobs." DoubleStack

"Alright Google, what does sexy double stack get me?" Reaper

"Boobs and guns!" Texas

"ok now you're hitting on me." GM

"Those things they can do with those wet soggy...fries." Reaper

"So I come back with Texas shoving a fish taste down my mouth." Double Stack

"You come back with a strange fishy taste being shoved down your throat by Texas."  GM

"I need a tissue!"  Texas

"Doublestack, you come back to Texas saying "don't move, I'll get you a towel.  Does anyone have napkins?" GM

"INTERNAL SLAMMING ONLY!" GM

"I did have the thought of dipping the nugget in the frosty." Texas

"Why does that sound like a kinkshame" Beefcake

"That was literally me just making a butt joke.  I'm glad you're into that Beefcake" GM

Sleep deprivation causes awesomeness

 "The bug bear doesn't have a sack that you can see." GM

"Does the bugbear have a nutsack?" Cearirin

"He's pretty well endowed." GM

"Then Alvena is covered."  Cearirin

"Does he need to wear the elf ears too?" GM

"That can be arranged for Alvena."  Cearirin

"Wait, what the fuck just happened?"  Alvena

"You stopped paying attention and I volunteered you." Cearirin

"what the fuck?"  Alvena

"Its like Redness all over again."  Cearirin

"I have to track the drowning of the Nilbog in poop that can't take damage from normal damage...." GM

"The real question is, can I have my hex back."  Ur

"I really should say no, so you get mad at Cearirin."  GM

GM starts placing goblins all on the board and doubling them up.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"  Roga

More goblins appear.

"WHAT THE SHIT!?"  Roga

"20 goblins..." GM

"I don't read these things, this is not my fault... well it is... but.." GM

"How did we waste time?  We killed David Bowie and shoved people down poop holes!" Alvena

"That defines a waste of time." GM

"Bang I nailed a dude, bang I nailed a dude.. bang I nailed a dude."  Alvena
"Please tell me some one got that on tape." Ur

The one Alvena wants to Alvena!

"Turns out this lady made a Yuri Science Harem."  Roga 6
"God, that's a phrase I didn't know I needed in my life." Ur

You're not wrong but you're not helping.

 "So the rogue has decided you haven't let her have any fun during this."  GM

"The rogue is grumpy for no discernible reason.  And she squeezes the thing to make the teeth pop out.  And she squeezes a little harder than she needs to for a rotting sperm...  The guard has gone from smug to terrified... you have triggered something."  GM

"Oh the tadpoles, I thought you were talking about the holes drying out." Alvena

"So the conversation went one way, and Alvena went another way." Cearirin

"Yeah that should probably be on my tombstone" Alvena

"You want dried holes on your tombstone?" GM

"Do people let the rogue touch them?" GM

"With an insight of 1, you think she has a weird thing for Ur, and has a daddy complex.  You think she wants Ur to spank her." GM

"This is totally not going to come back and bite us in the ass." Alvena

"I file this away for later." Cearirin

"There was a reason I was having Ur standing close by." Alvena

"So you don't get sucked in by devil vagina magic?" Cearirin

"You're not wrong but you're not helping!" Alvena

Go the F*$& to sleep

"Is it murder or is it knocking out?" Velika
"It's murder where you change your mind at the last second." Lenore

"I feel like there's a lot of splat" Velika
"Well yours does.  Lenore keeps feeling like she needs to apologize." Lenore


"Roc, you're standing there..." GM
"It's the curtains." Lenore
"Fuck! It's in the room behind us." Velika
"ONE FUCKING MOMENT PLEASE!" GM


"And the Roc comes around the corner with a steel chair!" The Roc
"That is now a spell component for Slow.  a steel chair." Lenore

I'm not stuck in here with you, you're stuck in here with me.

"We are a murder squad at this point.  We're like a roto-rooter that the surgeon sends in to blend all the polyps up and sweep them out."  Velika
"I'm not that." Lenore
"I'm not comfortable with a lot of that." The Roc

"I'm really glad I found out about the bestiality....bestia...bestiary in the tools" GM
"Bestiality?" Velika

"Big Boss.  come here.  for boom boom magic."  GM
"Does this make sense to us because we're all stupid?" Lenore


"Lady have a blue lizard boy toy."  GM
"It's a blue lizard dildo" Lenore

Velika is very disappointed

"Good day Delphine."  Tijo
"You wouldn't happen to be an anime sex slime would you?" Lenore

There are different kinds of wrong

"I like to think that the most trust worthy person we have talked to is a level 15 black guard." The Roc


"And I'm worried about the booze, so lets purify the food and drink." Tijo


"Note to self, stop giving these fuckers back doors to go through" GM


"Through the earring, I send: y'all wanna see some shit?" Velika


"And here you were thinking Roll20 was going to ruin your fight." Lenore


"Ways to start a combat: throwing the body of their dead f'ing husband on top of them." Tijo


"I hope they aren't trying to milk me too" GM


"We've had bunny girls, fairy girls and milking.... If there is a librarian down there, so help me." Tijo


"How did they get a ballista down here!?" Lenore
"They are gnomes!" Velika
"They built it down here and couldn't get it back up the stairs?" Lenore
"Probably!" Velika


"Lenore is going to nope out of here.  It's not fun down here.  The slide was not fun."  Lenore


"There is some grade A bullshit down there.  We may want to take a minute.  Those are some ballista bolts down there." Lenore

Violence... I'm a fan of this.

"Well does his balls take damage?" Tijo
"Yes." GM

"She has advantage on the Testes." Tijo
"She does, so she should use Scorching Ray." Lenore


"Let the power of PABST compel you!" Tijo

"I just love that we conscripted this guy to be our tech support and we are worse than our grandparents."  Tijo

Keep up that social distancing and play D&D online!

"Is this a negotiation scenario?  Let's negotiate from a position of power.  This is a bang situation." The Roc

"This is not her first time with you fuckers." GM

"I don't know if Tijo likes it, but I don't know how he likes it." Lenore

"He is also prone if that makes a difference." GM
"Oh!  He's prone!  Lets fuck his shit up now." Lenore

"The last four books I've read were talking about the prisoners dilemma." Lenore
"What books are you reading?!" Velika

"See!?   That wasn't so bad, you guys didn't struggle." GM
"We didn't struggle, it was just annoying" The Roc

"Velika leans over to Lenore.... He is a gladiator?"  Velika
"Well he flexes all the time." Lenore
"But he's a bird...." Velika
"Is that a bird thing?!" Lenore
"I don't know!" Velika

"Butt match?  Was this a sex pit?" Velika
"I'm sure with all that mud, no one is sure what happened." Lenore

Virtual gaming in a virtual world.

"GM, I'm reverse pocketing the lady of the place that burned down, so she gets 50 gold.  And I'm marking this down as one free orphanage burning in the future."  Velika
"I was looking for the quid pro quo in there." The Roc


"Who do we hate?"  Tijo
"Everyone?" Velika
"You're going to have to narrow that one down again." GM

"Anyone else want to do anything?" Tijo
"I want to see Mr. Peanut run over by the Peanut Mobile." Velika
"Anyone not insane got any ideas?" Tijo

I have a tally for shit I've killed and a tally for shit rolls.

"I have ended the lives of 13 things since we started that magic sword fight."  Tijo

"It's like having a living poop in you that moves around."  Velika on pregnancy

"There's almost an inhuman scream that reverberates from out of her."  GM
"Oh cool, like an angry pregnant lady"  Velika

"It's nice to know what caused this module.  My girlfriend caught me jerking off to this and it is slightly less shameful if it was for D&D."  Tijo
"Hush you." GM

"Tijo reached out and touched him in the no no."  GM
"He catholic priested him?" Velika   "Too soon?"
"No, its the fact that he touched a trumpian that way." Lenore


"That makes it worse.  A little blind groping down there.  Maybe a little left?  no..."  Lenore


"What the hell did you people do!?" GM
"WE DONT KNOW!" Tijo

If the Roc wants a penis, the Roc can have a penis!

"Do Kenku even have penises?"  GM
"I thought we discussed that last time and yes they do." Tijo
"What?" GM
Velika starts googling.  "So Kenku do have cloaca, because they lay eggs.  Lets go to the message boards to see what that has to say."
"Oh now that's what you pick up on?" GM
"I don't think 4chan is going to be the best source for this." Lenore
"Well its not 4chan its a different place." Velika


"He likes the big titted blonde" GM
"So that's neither of us" Velika
"Well, you're not a 10.  More of a 6 or 7."  GM
"Well that bitch isn't gonna have a penis anymore." Velika

"Lenore stays by her side as part of a package." Lenore
"heh, nice package." Velika

"Why would I need to present these other ladies?" GM
"FOR THE FUCKENING" Roc

"Small.exe activate!"  Tijo
"I'll ask about a drink but I can't remember the date of it." Roc
"And your numbers are broke so they are all horse clip clops." Tijo

"You sneak into the room, gimme another stealth check." GM
"Is your perception high enough to notice the micro penis!?" Tijo

"REALLY?!  Now we have to kill him." Velika
"Yeah, thats it.  That guy is dying today." Tijo

"looking around, you see a large jar of gold face cream." GM
"now THAT's where the acid is going." Lenore

"Just going to crack open the door so I can hear when he comes.." Lenore
"heh... heh." Velika
"WHEN HE WALKS BY!"  Lenore

"What the hell is going on?" GM
"Fun times, lady!  Fun times!" Velika

 "The Roc will pick up a sausage and poke her with it. Does it stick?" Roc
"... Where does the Roc stick the sausage." GM

Packidges...

"I'm saying that once we get the thingy, then we can murder.  We just shouldn't murder before we get all the information."  Tijo
"The problem I'm having is you're saying murder doesn't solve problems.  That's what I'm not getting."  Lenore


"This is more a Moulin Rouge whore house, not a Sucker Punch whore house." GM
"But that was an insane asylum."  Lenore