Tuesday, November 27, 2012

How to start a fight... drop your pants.

The New Super Mario WiiU Review:
"The Box God can giveth, and tap under you so you don't die.  But the Box God can taketh away and put a box right in front of you so you can fall down and die.  'I am ever your servant Box God, please look after and take care of me.'" Zuko

"I picked up my mic and I got electrocuted... or electorcvibed or zapped..." Kadon
"Why would you do that to yourself?" Zuko
"I... fuck you." Kadon

"Did you successfully bust pants from gorging?"  Zuko
"I exercised moderation.  I know it's weird and wrong.. but." Kadon
"That's un-american!" Zuko
"I recognize this."  Kadon
"Communist."  Zuko

"Kadon has been to Cafe Mox while he was here.  Even if he did have to throw away his dental dams unnecessarily." Zuko
"I'm gonna choose not to comment." GM

"Any utterance of the Exalts name becomes obvious to his senses as does the identity of the individual - Omniscient Ears Approach" Mnemia
"Wow, this is a Death Lords Ability." GM
"Oh I'm gonna mess with Mnemia once I learn about this.  Gonna pay every one of Ioni's whores to shout her name during sex.  Mnemia's just sitting there, eating a sandwich all of the sudden, what the fuck? Oh...  God dammit."  Zuko
"Go find the particularly kinky ones.  It's like 'I was eating here, I didn't need.... ahhh!'" GM
"That more be like with the dudes.." Zuko

"Kadon is beside himself giggling." Ioni
"That's not me." Kadon
"Is She who will kick all of us to smithereens sitting next to you?" Zuko
"That's She who will kick all of us to smithereens."  Mnemia
"I didn't know I sounded like Kadon!" She who will kick all of us to smithereens
"I'm sorry!  I didn't think you were there, so I just automatically assumed it was Kadon cuz the other 3 guys weren't giggling." Ioni
"Horrbly funny.  You couldn't have sounded more like and angry bitch if you tried!" Zuko
"We are the very best group of friends aren't we." GM
"Oh She who will kick all of us to smithereens misses us very much." Zuko
"I actually thought it was a very giddy Mnemia." GM

"The end of Evangelion laughing." Mnemia
"Yes, you're very funny.  ha. ha. ha." Kadon
"So much anger.... Residual anger!" Ioni

"... I go to my happy place, which is Zuko's old apartment." GM
"Why is Zukos old apartment your happy place?" Ioni
"To be fair, I soiled most of GM's place." Zuko
"You soiled most of his apartment....." Ioni
"I had to mark my territory over there." Zuko

"These three hyenas were going to spread herpes across the walls of my condo." Zuko
"No no no... not herpes... Just semen." Zuko
"I seem to specifically recall naming herpes by name." GM
"Kadon might have said herpes, but that is Kadon's problem." Zuko

"I'm also considering, how would you pick one out of a crowd.  Cuz it's not like you fuckers aren't famous in Nexus right now." GM
"Well maybe he can just kind of tune that portion out and just direct it to all of the screaming women who are currently being plowed by strange dicks." Ioni
"Now that wen in an interesting and frightening direction." GM
"Which part of it was interesting and which part of it was frightening?" Zuko
"Pretty much all of it frightening.  Interesting in the statement of Oh Wow, it went that way, I didn't expect it to go that way.  Why did it go that way?" GM
"Alright fine, all of the men screaming as they are being penetrated by strange dicks... are you happy?" Ioni
"Uhhh...kaaaay..." GM

"I can chill in Nexus.  I don't really feel like watching over their shoulders while they are smart." Zuko

"As I recall that you had gone back to Nexus with Scarlet to work on stuff, that Ioni had jumped back and forth between Nexus and Chiaruscuro to check her whore houses, Mnemia was being a Mom for a change, and Kadon was touching things he probably shouldn't be touching."  GM

"First things first, we gotta go drinking.  Can't be a good parent unless you're an alcoholic." Zuko

"It's worth extra credit.  And not the other kind of extra credit where you have to spend and evening at the Deans house."  Zuko
"The food is always good." Kadon
"Yeah, if its food." Ioni
"Chow.... down..." Kadon
"Euuuhhhh that was creepy." GM

"Some people are in to tentacles." Ioni
"Usually the other way around." GM

"You are forced to sit and wait for some time." GM
"No no no.. We choose to wait patiently." Kadon
"We do?" Zuko
"If we don't wait patiently, we choose to go in there and deal with it now." Mnemia

"The NPC is going to come up with a loophole cuz he knows he can't say no to us, so he doesn't get into trouble." Zuko

"I'll hand him a business card and a cookie." Ioni
"A business card?" GM
"It says 'move along'." Ioni
"I thought it would say 2 for 1." Zuko
"That's what I was expecting.  Not the Kit Kat from Hudson Hawk cards." GM

"I make it to the door and we discover it has wings?  The silence better not be yes." Ioni
"You should really refrain from giving him ideas." Kadon
"I don't need yo' charity!  I got plenty of books with ideas right here." GM
"Don't need your charity.  I just need the charity from other authors." Zuko
"I'm not sure where to begin on how sad that whole line of thinking is." Kadon
"Given how it affects how much XP we get, I vote you don't!" Zuko

"I am assuming Operation 'Say my name, bitch' has not been implemented yet." GM
"True, I think I am going to have to have Ioni go around the towns and make Mnemia a curse word." Zuko
"That's like giving Mnemia her own youtube channel with just the sound.  She has to hear all the shit that happens to people."  GM

The Idea:
"We need to find these motherfuckers.  The range on Kadon's Essence sight is yes.  The range of his vision is holy fucking shit. I vote, I stealth Kadon, Mnemia grabs Kadon, throws him up in the air, with a bit of a spin, he doesn't blink for 6 seconds, he takes it all in, we catch him.  He goes into memory and goes drlrlrlrlrlrlr! And scans the shit out of it and Enhance.... Enhance....." Zuko
"I like that plan." Kadon

"18... 36.  When I exert myself." Kadon on Awareness charms
"Fuck you sir.  Fuck you right in the face.  That is still and insanely good roll." Zuko
"You make baby Jesus cry."  GM

"As I thought this up, I was like, we have to come up with a name for this cuz I have a feeling we're gonna do this a lot." Zuko
"The Surveillance Satellite?  The Manned Drone.... Oh man, I can't believe I am going to say this about myself.... but...  The Predator Drone, clearly." Kadon
"Unseen Predator Drone." Zuko

"Once we've been here for 20 years, the rate of inflation is just gonna go through the roof!" Mnemia

"Do we wish to go and commence Mega-Death?" Zuko

"Real quick question, how high did you go?" GM
"Not high enough to leave the bubble." Kadon
"Alright, cuz that would have been funny." GM
"No, no it wouldn't." Kadon
"That would have involved us looking at each other going ... huh.... We're screwed.  That would have been, you threw, you fetch it bitch." Zuko

"No, bad Kadon. Stoppit! *snap*" GM
"Did you just snap at Kadon?" Ioni
"He's like a puppy!" GM

"These are insanely creepy monstrosities, how are they mingling with the crowd?" Zuko

"Oh dear lord GM, the amount of times that people masquerading as us have just gone in and demanded stuff and got it.... if you stymie us from doing it, I will end you!" Zuko

"You come into the room, they tell you to stop." GM
"Hehehehe... so who wants to dance." Zuko
"Things that aren't going to happen, Part One." Kadon

"The re-incarnae thingy thingy of the black... Ebon Dragon.." Ioni (Everyone but Ioni was confused, don't worry.)
"... WHAT?" Zuko
"Oh God bless you Ioni." GM
"What did she just say?" Zuko
"Wouldn't the thingy thingy of the Ebon Dragon be a demi-urge?" Ioni
"No!  The fetich soul of the Ebon Dragon would be a 3rd circle demon trapped in Malfeas - Okay, I think she believed they were searching for the fetich soul of the Ebon Dragon, and that obviously it was one of the council members." Zuko
"Or trying to collect the demi-urges before we can get to them." Ioni
"Yeah, I'm not so sure on that." Zuko
"There was a leap of logic there... Possibly a suicidal leap of logic." Kadon
"I've got traction!  I'm clawing my way back up the cliff.  I'm sorry, I had a real life botch in my brain.  It happens." Ioni
"Uhm... my .... my brain!" GM
"Ow.... that hurt my brains!  Ow.... well boys, if you see my penis, try to distract it with some cheese.... ow..." Zuko

"You could go for the confusion angle and drop your pants." Mnemia

"I can have 21 extremities in total to flick."  Zuko

"Well then, there's really only one thing... I'll take a half step back... well then... I will drop my pants - Distracting Finger gesture technique!" Zuko

"As you recall, I once dangled my crotch out of the back of an airship as it left an undersea hangar, that was being swarmed with a fuckin' Underworld Army." Zuko
"Yeah, cuz it was fuckin' funny!" GM
"It's still pretty funny." Kadon

"As I move forward, I unhook my belt, cuz... look, I know how to get out of these pants really quick.... Onto a handstand and the shirt falls off over my face as I'm doing this, but it's kinda thin and I have heat vision so I'm good... and my legs will bend down, grab the seat of my pants from my ass and then straighten themselves up, pulling my pants up, letting my dick flop out and I will start helicoptering that shit.  In their direction."  Zuko stunting.
"I have never been more glad to not be in combat." Kadon
"Gonna be like, very well, let me allow you to leave with the ceremonial gesture of my people." Zuko
"What the fuck.... siiiiiiiiiiigh Why God.... why...." GM

I don't think anyone expected that move" GM
"True, no one expects the Zuko's dick inquisition!  See the weird thing is... Not that I'm starting combat with my penis.  It's more the fact that this isn't the first time this character has started combat with his penis." Zuko

"Incidentally we should send someone around to collect the pieces of the Evil 4 dot artifact." Kadon
"The what?" Mnemia

"I think that's a two dice stunt... My brain just stopped listening." GM

"19 successes.." Ioni
"...." GM
"It could be worse, it could be 32." Kadon
"Dammit!" GM

"Not killing people is hard" Mnemia

"I task someone to go find Batman.  Batman can find things, go get Batman." Kadon
"That's not his name!" GM

"When you kill him, he moves a lot for a dead man." GM

"I'm sorry, but the brain you are looking for is not here right now." Mnemia

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