Sunday, November 04, 2012

All it takes is 12 successes and we have the attention of the Unconquered Sun. AWESOME!

Next week the quotes may be delayed a bit.  Ioni and Zuko are off to ZOEcon and will be finding new games there to play.  This con is put on by the fabulous makers of Gamers, Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising, and Journey Quest.   Even if you don't live in the US, these people are awesome!


"Mnemia, why didn't you tell me the super important news?" Zuko
"Super... important... news..." Mnemia slightly confused
"A taco bell opened on University." Zuko
"What?" Kadon

"Their flavor sauces will make your brain shut off.  And make your intestinal tract get furious... with sudden explosions." Zuko
"That's how I usually categorize McDonalds, but okay...." GM
"You also categorized McDonalds as a place to go have sex." Ioni
"When the hell did I do that?!" GM
"Yeah, I don't remember that." Kadon
"You have the transcript." Zuko
"Yeah, I do have the transcript." Ioni
"Fuckin' Obama his ass!  GM, you just go Romney'd!" Zuko

"My buddy got a call from the Romney supporters.  He kept the guy on the line for forty minutes like acting like a true undecided... I was like 'why the fuck could you stand to be on the phone for that long?' he's like 'That's forty minutes he's not talking to someone who could be swayed by that bullshit!'" Zuko

"How is transformer sex game, people." Zuko
"No sex." Mnemia
"That's disappointing." Ioni
"Some transforming." Kadon
"I don't think you're running your game right...." Zuko

"The game made more progress than the last time we played.  Though not for lack of trying on the part of the players."  Mnemia

"Ioni can have the one about tree warriors.  She can make a forest army that fucks people." Zuko
"that's a lot of wood." Ioni

"The previous statements are not intended to inspire culpability in any creature of darkness." Zuko

"If this audit will continue, Zuko will form a Friends of Punching Gaving in the Face Super Pac." Zuko on the list of reasons to punch Gavin in the face audit.
"Must not thinking about elections.... must not think about elections!" GM
"Pretty sure Reaper would invest." Zuko
"How do you figure." GM
"Cuz... it's Gavin!" Zuko
"Pretty sure she would punch you." GM
"Yeah, but Gavin is someone she would succeed in punching in the face." Zuko

"Yeah, my objection to that is a meta objection of 'don't split the party.'"  Kadon
"I totally agree, but we're currently split anyways." zuko
"Fair enough." Kadon
"Is splitting the party in this way going to fuck us?" Zuko
"Not that I'm aware of." GM
"Okay then, go ahead and do that, and if GM throws a campaign ending combat at us, we'll beat the shit out of him." Zuko
"So we all go over to California to beat up the GM?" Ioni
"I cold use a little sun.  Very little." Zuko

"Mnemia, remember the last time you went to California to beat up the GM?" Zuko
"... I have not gone to LA to beat up the GM." Mnemia
"Well see then, you haven't lived, Brother." Zuko

"Also, we need to get Kadon on those prayer wheels and redirect some of those prayers to us." Zuko
"Now I'm paying attention, what?!" GM

"And if the Unconquered Sun notices and comes down, so much the better." Zuko
"Says the guy who stole the alternator from his car!" GM
"It's like the scheme in Office Space.  We're only taking pennies." Mnemia
"Yeah!  Fractions of pennies even!" Zuko
"I seem to recall..." GM
"That it worked?" Kadon
"They would have been caught if the office hadn't burned down." GM
"Unlike them, I can't botch." Kadon
"Also, the instant the Unconquered Sun functions half as well as our pound you in the ass prison system?  Both of our problems are solved!" Zuko

"Zuko is willing to have the Unconquered Sun kill him, if it means he fixes fucking creation and saves it from all this shit we're having to do in his name.  Because at that point, he will have set up the reincarnation engine!" Zuko

"We are going to have the kids checked... for STDs." Mnemia
"GAVIN!" Zuko
"Dude, you assume a great many things about him... NO!" GM

"All the squirrel girls are equipped with chastity belts." Zuko
"Since when?!" GM
"Since I'm not around." Zuko
"I'm fairly certain in the grand scheme of things who probable would have thought of that plan was Scarlet, and I'm talking about the entire group here.  Okay, maybe Ioni." GM
"They're not mine to play with!" Ioni
"That's right, they're mine!" Zuko
"Wow... that's the first time I've heard that from a PC." GM

"Ioni, take an XP for amusing me - first one who hasn't tried to take possession of a gaggle of females, amusing... particularly in your line of work." GM

"Gavin is going to request the same test as the girls since he was an orphan." GM
"He wants to be checked for STDs because he's an orphan?!" Ioni
"God dammit Ioni! Don't make me take that XP away!" GM

"Alright, the Unconquered Sun is riding a Chocobo." Zuko

"... The chocobo is .... Luna." Kadon
"Potentially" GM
"He's got a specialty." Kadon
"True, he does." Zuko
"To ride Luna?" GM
"Yes" Kadon and Zuko

"Greatest entry into an RPG ever... if it had Ride: your mom..." Zuko

*Cat horking in the back ground.*
"It's a vision!" GM
"Your cat has seizures to a beat!" Zuko
"Those were the cats?!" Ioni
"Have to assume so." GM
"That's one of 'em sneezing." Mnemia
"Oh my god, I thought it was something else." Ioni
"What the fuck kind of noise that was human produced do you think that could have been!?" Zuko
"Somebody needed lube." Ioni
"what the fuck!?" Zuko
"What!?" GM
"Oh god..." Kadon
"Ioni, I know...... y'know, I just don't wanna go there.... Just...... learning new shit about Kadon every day." Zuko
"WHAT?!" Kadon
"Things I didn't need to know." GM
"And now you get to picture them." Ioni
"Trying not to!" GM

"Well, let's go piss off an entire Bureau of Heaven." Zuko

"Mnemia's here!" GM
"Yeah, that's not going to make things better." Mnemia

"Oddly enough, of the group, Ioni is not the attractive one!" Ioni
"Also [Zuko] sparkles... just sayin." Kadon
"Someone kill it with Fire." Ioni
"Give if your best shot baby!" Zuko
"I'm asking someone else to kill it with fire... Mnemia?" Ioni
"He holds things still so it's easier for me to kill thins with fire so, probably not." Mnemia
"I'm the one who has the fire, but I'm not there." Kadon

"It doesn't have to be a long journey.  It could be around the Eastern Grove, looking for a four leaf clover." Mnemia
"Alright, we will go on a journey in the Eastern Grove.  We will play follow the leader where the leader is Mercury." Zuko

"Kadon wyld shapes a pub crawl!" Zuko

"I grab the nearest street urchin.  What day is this!?" Zuko
"Hahahaha...ha...  It's the day it should be." GM

"Cuz those troops gotta know when they out there, they earning her motha' fuckin' money.  Now that's a lot of Bitch-merc." Zuko
"Wow, I didn't realize the entire crew is a bunch of pimps and Ioni is the only really Vanilla of the lot of you." GM
"How am I pimpin'?" Zuko
"Squirrel Girls." Kadon and Mnemia
"I'm not pimpin' them out!" Zuko
"Just keepin the ho's to yourself." Kadon
"no no no no, that makes me a playa!  not a pimp!" Zuko

"Sinze they aren't really people, cuz they're dead inside, cuz they are prostitutes, can Zuko steal them?" Zuko
"No - that is some interesting... - "GM
"To be fair, I was allowed to steal a child." Zuko
"Precedence!  Precedence!" Mnemia
"See, this is why I'm always a little nervous about doing that shit." GM
"And no one will notice for like five minutes, I can be done in five minutes." zuko
"Scarlet may have an issue." Ioni
"Just sayin' if I have to, I can.  Not that he normally does." Zuko

"Maybe my price is not money." Ioni
"Mhm." GM
"She's just looking for a really good lay." Kadon
"No, I'm looking for something a little more lasting than that." Ioni
"A reallly... REALLY... good lay." Zuko
"Well there's a shop down the street that sells vibrators.. I'm just..." Kadon
"A little more long lasting than that." Ioni
"Okay, back to the workshop then!" Kadon

"Zis should not go into the 9 fold manse in general." Kadon
"Oh?" GM
"On account of the ticking ag..." Kadon
"That might be problematic." GM
"Maybe she likes that feeling... gets her ready for Mnemia." Ioni
"Wow...  Now Ioni needs to craft a book about foreplay." GM

"If she wants to call me back and disembugger herself..." Kadon
"I though Kadon was in the buggering business." Zuko
"Only so many at a time." GM

"Really, the question you ought to be asking Kadon is, what's your boggle." Zuko

"Sup!?" Zuko addressing a Maiden
"What part of not fully trusting the group do you not fully understand?" GM as the Maiden.
"Maybe you don't fully comprehend is that my group is fully trustworthy and you said 'okay, I'll meet with them'"  Zuko

"Kadon, if there is something going on that I'm missing?  Or just not getting??  IM me or tell me something!" Zuko after Kadon starts clearing his throat.

"You dont' want the Abyssal here?  Okay fine." Zuko
"The Abyssal is the least of my concerns." GM
"Oh please say it was Ioni...." Ioni
"Is it the Slut?!" Zuko
"Uh Zuko, your communicator is on." Kadon
"Ioni will object for 5 minutes before saying oh wait, that is me." Ioni
"One of your party is getting really good at sending messages to your patron." GM
"It is the slut!" Kadon

"Okay, between you and me, she's not really smart enough to understand this plan anyways.  Point is i'm not smart enough to figure out these plans, so I kinda need the nerd!" Zuko

"Out of character, to take what appears to be significant plot point provided by the story teller and killing it, seems a little rude." Mnemia
"I'm just sayin' there's no way this turns out good for us." Zuko
"No it doesn't - unless we make them all out bitches." Mnemia

"Mnemia's kids were supposed to be under out thumbs, they jumped up to essence 4, started murdering puppies and learning necromancy the instant we were gone - these girls are just going to wake up at Essence 9 one day and go ... causality... wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Zuko

"I'm sorry, who brought he kids back? Gavin... this is all Gavins fault." Zuko
"Another thing to the punch list." Ioni

"As far as she knows nothing can be in Oblivion... Although she's heard interesting rumors." GM
*Group breaks down into laughter*
"Nothing can come out of Oblivion... Plenty of shit can go to Oblivion." Zuko
"Hey, we did it!" Kadon
"Seriously." Zuko
"We did that shit 300XP ago!  C'mon!  Man up, Maiden!" Kadon

"Huh?  You're not talking to the nerd, Mercury...  You specifically wanted to talk to me cuz I'm the dumb one." Zuko

"That's right, Sass the deity... This can't possibly go wrong" Kadon
"Whatever, eventually I'll get ghost eating technique and kill her." Zuko

"Let's just say we have enough issues in the world we don't need to open that particular box." GM
"I got a wikipage I can show you that will prove to you that yes, I know exactly how many issues we have!" Zuko
"Don't know what a wiki page is, but Kadon keeps talking about them..." Kadon

"You're forgetting the important thing.  All Ioni needs is 12 successes on a prayer roll, and the Unconquered Sun listens.  Do you have any idea how easy it is for her to get that?" Zuko
"It's more like, you're distracting me, fine, here's your bauble." GM
"Alright, if we're the annoying fly in his ear I'm fine with that, Okay fine, here's the god spear. Blow up this thing" Zuko
"Where's the Death Lord?" Ioni
"Yeah can we be like Thorns, thorns... thorns... thorns..." Zuko
"Would you shut up about thorns already!  BOOM!"  Kadon
"Ioni, we are getting you a cult, and we are just sitting you in a room to just pray and get our problems solved." Zuko

"That's our new game plan, and after it's ... Silver prince... Silver Prince... Silver Prince..." Zuko

"Will you take us to splash mountain?!" Zuko
"Well we figured that out, I am useful once again!" Ioni
"Suddenly this mountain flew out of the sky towards Nexus." GM
"Did it go splash!?" Kadon
"I'm just sayin' I think we have figured out how to solve all problems from here on out." Zuko
"If I can see it coming, I can perfect parry it." Mnemia
"Out of curiosity is dropping a mountain a wyld shaping effect?" Kadon
"No, pretty sure that's a straight up thrown." GM

"So if you say Zuko zuko zuko zuko over and over again.... 50% chance he will do something good." Mnemia

"The next moment she is curled up in a ball bawling." GM
"Is it that time of the month for her!?" Ioni
"You literally made a god cry." Kadon
"Really fighting the urge not to j'paff just to get one in." Zuko

1 comment:

killervp said...

The game made more progress than the last time we played. Though not for lack of trying on the part of the players.

I know how that feels.... still laughing at every post!