Forty Yards....

Random Game Plug:  Artemis is "Fun as Balls" as rated by Zuko.

"Well when he gets here, we can launch into beating things up... in the mean time..." Kadon

"What you don't realize is the cats are trying to take the kitten out.  But the right one went too soon, and the left one too late and BOOM!"  Kadon as a football announcer

"I don't think people can hurt Mnemia at this point and that's a little sad."  Ioni
"Oh there are people who can hurt Mnemia.  I'm pretty sure my alchemical can in the right circumstances like the vacuum of space.  If the Alchemical had the chance to go, I'm pretty sure she'd win.  Mnemia does not have the soak for 6 hits of 45 damage coming down all at once... guess I could perfect parry that.  It'd be a mote attrition game.. *silence*  Yeah never mind.  I don't know who would win." Mnemia

"And Zukos' been dropped." Ioni
"How do you figure?" GM
"Cuz there was an 'Oh mother fucker!' coming from his room." Ioni

"Finally played Pimp: The Backhanding, so I don't feel like I've wasted money on that game." GM
"I think you still wasted money on that game." Zuko

"I believe we were responding to a Cluster fuck in progress?" Kadon
"That pretty much sums it all up." GM

"What would you like?" Kadon
"Deeeeeeeeeeze nuuuuts!" Zuko

We play using Traipse, and sometimes tons of minis.  
"Why don't you scale them down while you're re-naming them?" Kadon
"Oh, okay.  What do you want them at?" Zuko while renaming the NPCs Douche bagN
"I don't know, probably half this size if there are this many, I'm thinking.  So like 24." Kadon
"On it!" Zuko
"Thank you!" Kadon
"Oh no, you are not shrinking us, we are awesome!" Zuko
"Are you shrinking me?  I realize you want a pocket size Ioni, but no!" Ioni
"Nobody puts Ioni in the pocket." Zuko
"You're not treating Ioni like Mouse Chu's stupid little bimbo." Ioni
"....What?" Kadon
"Yeah, I only got a part of that.  Most of that was in English, I think." GM
"Oh did you tell them about Mouse?" Zuko
"No I didn't, I figured you'd be better." Ioni
"It is the best anime." Zuko
"It's a thief with a harem anime." Ioni
"The dude is an expert thief that steals things like buildings.  And uh, he has 3 women who work with him but not just work with him, they are also his sex slaves." Zuko
"Well, if you're going to do this, you might as well do it the right way." GM
"Uhm.. okay...." Kadon
"Constantly trying to get it on with him despite his efforts to the contrary."  Zuko

"Who is shrinking them and not re-naming them!" Zuko
"Me... Sorry." Kadon
"I'll take care of it!" Zuko
"They're all different sizes." Mnemia
"I changed my mind.  32." Kadon
"Cock bag!" Zuko
"I am fixing them!" Kadon
"Don't!  Middle of naming them and their names are going back... what the fuck is going on!?" Zuko

"That was the boss douche bag... that or I added a zero by accident." Kadon

"I don't like having a dual number so...." Zuko changes Douchebag10 to El doucherino
"Having a ... ?  Wow.." Kadon
"I don't like 2 digits!" Zuko

"By the way, Mnemia, I love you so much right now." Zuko as Kadon's mini sprouts a "cock bag"
"What?!" Ioni
"You'll see it.  See?!  Notice!  I narrowed it down that Ioni didn't do that!" Zuko
Mini's are renamed:
  Kadon (Cockbag) > Kadon (here to fix the cable)
  Mnemia (Douchewrangler)
  Zuko (Poonosaurus) > Zuko (LogJammin)

"SIGH!" GM
"Oh you'd miss it!" Ioni
"Potentially." GM
"That's GMs happy noise and that terrifies me.  GM just plowing some chick and just going sigh."  Zuko
"Out of curiosity, Zuko, how do you know what it sounds like when the GM cums?" Kadon
"Because!  I get more XP than the rest of you!" Zuko
"No...........................!" GM
"Wow, you successfully took it to the next level Zuko."  Kadon
"Was there ever a mother fucking doubt?" Zuko
"Not that you could, but that you would... Wait, no the other way around." Kadon

"Alright, who is delicately arranging my douche bags?" Zuko

"And the idea was, Kadon was going to fly first, dragging an Ioni."  Zuko
"I do not drag, I gently cup." Kadon
"But while lifting and separating an Ioni." Zuko

"Zuko, Balancing a Mnemia on one hand." Zuko
"You gotta say it, Zuko." Kadon
"Balancing a dyke on one hand." Zuko immediately.
"No no... Pizza Delivery!" Kadon
"That's True!  Totally happens!  Unauthorized personnel are not allowed in this fight scene." Zuko
"Uhh.... it's free!" Kadon
"BRNNNNNNN!!!!" Zuko

"THIS IS THE BEST EMAIL SUBJECT LINE EVER!" Zuko when Kadon sends out drop box invites that read Kadon wants to share "Sins" with you.
"Uhhh......" Kadon
"Oh Africa!" Zuko
"what?!" Ioni
"Makes perfect sense." Zuko

"Point the death sticks where you want them, sir." Zuko
"I don't smoke." Kadon
"I want to go home and re-think my life." GM
"Yup." Zuko

"Giant bomb built to blow us up?  I am not punching through the window." Zuko

"Do you want science involved in this discussion?" Mnemia
"Oh please allow me to put science into shit.  I will wreck your goddamn day with science.  Worst decision a GM ever made was allowing me to have an Aberrant Character with momentum control." Zuko

Zuko hands Ioni a bottle of Bailey's equivalent, looking expectantly at her.
"Are you saying I have man hands?" Ioni opening the bottle
"Are you strong than me?  YES!" Zuko

"Give me Perception Awareness." GM
"9!  Oh fuck you!  2!" Zuko

"Giant Titties!" Zuko
"you're free to name a ship that." GM
"On it!" Zuko

"Ioni, it's time for your special!" zuko
"O yes!" Ioni
"Ioni has something applicable I take it?" Kadon
"Yes, she does, cuz I actually read what her charms do." Zuko
The charm was subsequently ruled as too OP because it would do what Mnemia would do, just without damage.

"Kadon, stop filling up my drop box!" Ioni
"Seriously, Jesus fucking Christ, dude!" Zuko

"So, we can't lick them?" Ioni
"Sorry?" GM doing a mental reboot
"If we start bumping into these things with our tongues, we can't lick them?" Ioni

"Bring it you little pieces of shit or I'll tell everyone your first and last names!" Zuko

Fuck you dude! That's my wife!" Zuko
"Yeah, she's giving me motes!" Mnemia
"Fair enough, I knew that's what you're after, I'm just... I'm allowed to be annoyed that you once again sucking at my wife's mote teat." Zuko

"Zuko is going to pull out the child with one hand, substitute the fake with the other and then battle roll away...." Zuko rescuing a kid from a mean Solar

"Gavin was protecting this kid, right?" Zuko
"Yep" GM
"Well if it goes wrong, it's his fault and I'll punch him in the face." Zuko

"You hear him mutter about 'I hope you are competent enough to deal with this' before throwing what he thinks is the child at Mnemia's feet." GM
"When it goes KA CHUNK!" Zuko
"All the little whasits in the room turn in Mnemia's direction." GM
"Dude, this is like the best turn out for this ever! I'm not getting my ass kicked for stealing a kid!" Zuko

"This is amazing!" Zuko
"The day I get bored of that is the day I stop letting you do that.  Fortunately, it's still amusing." GM
"I wrote 'Free Candy' on my satchel." Zuko
"One day, you're going to walk into an episode of To Catch a Predator - it's not gonna work so well." GM

"It'd be bad if that's Lucy." Ioni
"Uhh is it a creature of darkness?" Zuko
"....yes..." GM
"Oh well, I'll save the kid so we can murder is later." Zuko

"Alright, Douchewrangler and Kadon." GM
"That's kind of redundant." Zuko
"Mnemia is Douchewrangler." Kadon

"My flame piece always brings all the boys to the yard!" Kadon

"Hey Mnemia, what are you wielding now?" GM
"Deeeeeeeeze nuuuuuuts!" Zuko
"Unlikely." Kadon

"What does this douche bag think Mnemia was gonna do with a sword in both hands!?" Mnemia
"That's why he threw the kid at your feet!" GM
"At the point of the action, Mnemia's still 40 yards away!" Mnemia
"Well the kid caught some air." Kadon
"Minions are 40 yards away, I'm not spending these next 2 actions moving." Mnemia
"Look.  You obviously have that mothering look about you who will take care of a child, so he gave you the child." Zuko
"I've got a spare hand, have him throw it to me instead.  I'm only on fire." Kadon
"You're still 40 yards away!" Mnemia
"Does he overhand it?  or Underhand it?" Zuko
"He footballed this child." Mnemia
"A nice tight spiral!" Kadon
"Well he could rugby toss it!  I don't know!" Zuko
"40 yards!?!?" Mnemia
"How far could you throw a child?" GM

"I am still confused.  Mnemia is more friendly and motherly than Ioni?!" Ioni
"Ioni, you're friendly just not in a PG-13 way." Zuko
"If you want to pick up the baby you can.  Mnemia's got things she wants to stab." Mnemia

"Zuko, holler like: 'you got it' or something." Kadon
"I DA PAPPY!" Zuko
"I don't know what that is, but it's good enough for Mnemia!" Mnemia

"Zuko!  Stop flashing your chest, I am not showing you my boobs!" Ioni
"....that was awkward." GM
"With your knowledge!" Zuko

"He steps out and falls down the shaft." GM
"Don't be a pussy, come back here and fight you little bitch!" Zuko

"I will ignore the block of wood.  That is not the sound a baby makes when it hits the ground.  Mnemia knows this." Mnemia
"There's a story there!" GM
"That's the only way I can explain the twins' behavior!  That they were dropped on their heads, repeatedly."  Mnemia
"At least you know what it sounds like though," Ioni
"In Zukos defense, Mnemia thought it was really cool when he started juggling the babies." Zuko

"What should I make Zis do?" GM
"A good question Mnemia asks nightly." Kadon

"Not knowing any better, Zis is going to run over and pick up the kid and discover it's a block of wood." GM
"Zuko will hold up the kid and go 'OH C'MON!  Do you people not understand what I do!?'" Zuko

"That is the end of my turn, is anything still standing?" Mnemia dealing 450+ damage

"I just did 468 points of damage..." Mnemia
"And I would have done none!!" Ioni

"So there are a lot of loud wet flopping as things just sort of fall from the ceiling and from the sky and everything....  as the sudden meat grinder that is this room..." GM
"So, how many are still up and alive?" Zuko
"That would be a none..." GM

"Good enough, do I recognize this child?  have I met it before?" Zuko
"Yes" GM

"... And how thick are the walls of the shaft?" Zuko about the elevator shaft, Ioni snickers, as does Kadon.
"See, I wasn't thinking that until I heard the one snicker."  GM
"I've been thinking of trying to bust this shaft.  Right?  How much pressure would I need to keep around the shaft?  Sturdy... strong... Penetrates through this giant tower of power.... Is this shaft like hard and a major part.." Zuko
"You need to stop." GM
"Out of curiosity, is this one of the Red Chiaroscuro Glass buildings?" Kadon
"Or is it the Big Black Building?  Twice as tall as all the others?" Zuko
"Or is it Blue.." Ioni
"GM, just to be fair, cuz I don't' like leaving you out.  We're talking about penis jokes."   Zuko
"If it's blue, then it's definitely a representation of Kira's sexual frustration with Gavin." Kadon
"Well she did say or at least allude to that Gavin's not good in bed." Ioni
"Sigh... It's a city, they are shaped that way." GM

"Are you saying this is a giant pink tower?  ... mostly rounded?"  Zuko
"Is there, for example, a large valley that extends in one direction relative to this large rounded pink tower?" Kadon
"Part of me doesn't want to answer...  The other part of me who is not participating is like yeah, actually, there is! and I'm like shut the fuck up!" GM
"Possibly with a reservoir of some kind uh.. that contains some quantity of fluid." Kadon
"So, out of curiosity, kind of far into this you know... huddle inside the tower... We look on one side of the tower, you know, about a third of the way in are we going to see anything.....  that we really want to get our hands on.." Zuko, in the other room, Ioni falls out of her chair laughing on the floor.
"Is the land on the opposite side of the valley, is it crop land, or has it been reduced to desert?  Is that where the smooth glass side...." Kadon
"Oh my god, I can't breathe!  Dammit Kadon!" Ioni cackling like mad
"Wait wait, hold up.  I think we get to determine this is the pink tower and the two dudes running towards it were able to find it!" Zuko
"To be fair, one of them was a doctor." Kadon
"I just want to say how proud I am.  We turned this joke about dicks into vagina's easily." Zuko
"Guess the scale is wrong, but depending on how this is all lined up you can view the Blessed Isle as sort of  the outlet for Creations solid waste if you will.... No the geometry doesn't line up... where's the taint?  Kadon
"White wall." Zuko

"Just so you guys know, Ioni came to my door, and between giggles said, 'I had fallen out of my chair'.  I think she hurt herself." Zuko

"I now get to spend a week plotting how to destroy you all and it will be phallic shaped."  GM
"GM, I realize you are lonely there in LA but I don't want you putting your phallus at me."  Zuko

"When you land, you watch." Mnemia when Zuko tries to rescue Gavin from being beat up.


"I could punch Gavin any day." Zuko
"As long as he's alive." Ioni
"I'll punch Gavin when he's dead.  You do not understand, we can raise up his ghost and punch it." Zuko

"We've just got to go to the Land of Mai Thai and titties?" Zuko
"That would be a step in the right direction." Mnemia

"Uranus... waiting for Yuki to spit it out." Mnemia