Friday, January 11, 2013

Do you ever have one of those days where one arm pit is sweaty and the other isn't? This is one of those days.

"Yaaaay"  Zuko deadpan
"Say that like you believe it dude!" Kadon

"Are you begging, GM?" Zuko
"Not entirely...." GM

"Video games don't make crazy people.  Parents make crazy people.  We should ban parents... Go away." Kadon

"All  I can say is statistically, every crazy person who has ever lived has had parents.  Fact." Kadon

"I went to Arizona, it was awesome... I got to see Dirango and a bunch of movies." GM
"Saw Durango?" Zuko
"D-jango or something?" GM
"Django.... The D is silent.  As they actually point out in the movie." Zuko

"How was Les Mis?"  Kadon
"I had to uh... man up more than a few times." Zuko
"Yeah, I've heard that about it." Kadon

"How was everyone's Christmas?  Did you get any cool presents?" Zuko
"I got a slinky!" GM

"As much as I enjoy being a nerd, I don't know if I want to go on a cruise and be surrounded by other nerds." Zuko
"Eh, that part I wouldn't really have too much trouble with."  Kadon
"All the pale-ness, I would go blind." Zuko
"And guarantee there would be like no available women on that cruise." Kadon
"Ah well, no. There was a hope." GM
"Cuz GM was just gonna be tearin' ass apart on the cruise..." Zuko
"I could, you don't know!" GM
"No, I'm pretty sure we know." Kadon
"Shuttup. I can dream." GM
"I'm pretty sure that applies to all of us, just to be fair." Kadon
"Pretty sure Ioni has the best chance to land a bunch of hot nerdy girls."  Zuko
"Yeah, probably so." Kadon
"Because for some frustratingly annoying reason, the larger majority of attractive geeky girls end up being lesbians.  Very frustrating." Zuko
"True story." Kadon
"Holidays are boring.  I don't need to pick up chicks on a cruise..." Mnemia
"Good, more for us." GM

"Speaking of which, did you guys get a Tsunami warning?" GM
"In Madison, WI?"  Zuko
"No... you...."  GM to Zuko
"Pretty sure if we got a Tsunami warning in Madison, we'd all be dead.." Zuko
"Totally screwed." Kadon
"It could have come from the East Coast and wiped out all of that...." GM
"Something big enough to make it to Madison could have... I could just go out on a limb, is kinda crack the earth in half big..." Kadon
"It could have also been a meteorite hitting Lake Michigan..." GM
"To be fair, it could just be y'know... 70% of the earth's people dead." Zuko
"Sure..." Kadon
"What the hell did I miss?!" Ioni
"I do not believe we got any Tsunami warnings here." Zuko
"Also it's been determined, Ioni, that of the people who would go on a Nerd Cruise with us, you have the best chance of scoring chicks."  Kadon
"There's a nerd cruise?  Where is this nerd cruise and why haven't I heard of it until now?" Ioni
"Uh... it's a thing, and it used to exist, and it might still exist but I haven't heard anything lately."  Kadon

"I am currently attempting to cook some form of dinner, so if you hear the fire alarm go off, blame Zuko." Ioni
"I was sitting in my room!!!!" Zuko
"I know."  Ioni

"I think Ioni's point is like the fuckin' locks.  Well, here's 21 motes of Zuko's time...."  Zuko
"Night Caste - this is why we can't have nice things." GM
"I wouldn't say it's just cuz of the Night Caste."  Ioni
"If you want, I could go start stealing some more." Zuko
"In all honesty our Night Caste isn't that bad." Ioni
"That's it, I'm stealing Harbinger next.  Mnemia's gonna come back and find Harbinger up on blocks." Zuko
"Wait, if you steal Harbinger, how is Harbinger up on blocks."  Ioni
"You're just gonna steal the legs?" Kadon
"There's a lot of hate there for the person who is not contributing to this..." Mnemia
"What am I going to steal from Ioni?  Like that she hasn't given up to every man who has crossed her path..  I suppose Kadon could come back to find the Factory Cathedral missing..." Zuko
"Kinda confused as to how that will happen." Ioni
"In the first age, I stole part of the sun!" Zuko
"I know!" Ioni

"More salad if you want it."  Ioni
"Okay." Zuko
"I want some salad." GM
"Well come and visit and you get some salad....  and chicken." Zuko

"Zis who is still on guard duty says she can start the search with every brothel in town." GM
"Zis, we're not starting the search with full body cavity searches just yet." Ioni

"Ioni, you better control Zis, cuz she's starting to out whore you!" Zuko
"She's was always..." GM
"Quick Ioni, make out with Mnemia!" Zuko
"Now now , they've both been whores in their own way.  Where Ioni is a law giver and builder of civilizations, she's being constructive with her.... hobby.  Whereas, Zis is, well would be considered destructive." GM
"I think he's saying that you have a mostly positive vagina, Ioni." Zuko
"I walked away for a bit, what happened?" Ioni

"That you should just start murdering everybody?"  GM
"No, but if we kill all the people fuckin' with us, eventually we'll just be untouchable." Ioni
"Then we can be the fuckers, not the fuckees."  Zuko
"Yeah, pretty sure that's how Stalin came into the world." GM
"Eliminating everyone who is more powerful than us is not..." Kadon
"You tried that, look at where it got you." GM
"Obviously we need to do a better job this time." Ioni
"Bright golden age full of health and prosperity for several thousand years." Zuko
"And people being tortured and turned into musical instruments so you could hear their cries." GM
"Not us!" Zuko
"Okay, sacrificing babies to make your ipods." GM
"We had extras!" Kadon
"It was pretty bitchin." Zuko
"That's not the right answer for a couple of human beings." GM
"But we're not human, we're exalts!" Ioni

"He's still out there.  Technically he's supposed to be out there hunting you guys down and killing you." GM
"Which is why I fucked him."  Ioni
"That's an for admittance right there.  Trying to murder us... really?  Well get in my pants." GM
"I thought I climbed into his pants, or that there were no pants involved." Ioni
"Metaphor falls apart." GM

"As for STD and what not, how do you go about that?" GM
"Full body inspection." Ioni
"Time for Kadon to bust out the rubber gloves." Zuko
"Yup!" Ioni
"Look I know I'm a doctor, but fuck that." Kadon
"You're the doctor, c'mon." Zuko
"The whole point is fucking that." Mnemia

"And what's his name again?" Ioni
"Dammit, I gave him one, I better write it down." GM
"It better not be Ashfinger, cuz... then we'll have to discuss his uhm... strategies." Ioni
"I only have one move, but it works every time." GM
"Think about that for a moment..." Ioni

"Does Kadon now know how to build one?" Zuko on N/A Artifact
"NO!  The first answer is no, and the second answer from your charm is sit on it and spin." GM
"Give it a whirl, Kadon, GM wants to take your flower." Zuko

"There is an error code here and all it says is "The monster is here""  GM
"There is a monster?  Is there an error reference I could look up here?"  Kadon
"That's all there is." GM
"Can I phone a friend?" Kadon

"My mind is blown by this link."  Kadon
"Just to be clear, this is what my coworkers and I looked up on New Years Eve..."  Ioni
"You can't let me have 30 seconds of my link being up there, Ioni?" Zuko
"Nope!" Ioni
"What the fuck..." Kadon
"okay, question, Kadon...."  Zuko
"Was truly.... what the hell.  What was that?" Kadon
"Okay, Kadon, you come home from work.  Jewel Staite is naked on your bed waiting for you.  BUT... She has to watch Dolphin bondage porn while you have sex.  Deal breaker?"  Zuko
"Do I have to face the TV?" Kadon
"For at least 5 minutes... Can you power through?" Zuko
"I can power through." Kadon

"I prefer the bitch method."  Mnemia
"Yeaaaaah...." Kadon
"That came across as really creepy, Kadon.  Just FYI"  Zuko
"On one hand, yeah, that's probably the most efficient way to do this.  On the other hand, I think that maybe I shouldn't be sending you guys to talk to really anyone because we could use allies and not enemies.  Granted Chejop is probably a lost cause, but...  still."  Kadon
"Hey, am I punching him right now?  Am I cutting off his limbs? No.  I'm on good behavior!" Zuko

"Don't make him all angry at us!" Ioni
"Charisma of 1... No, it's 2, but still a dick." Zuko
"No, he's been good.  Scarlet's been working on him." GM
"Yeah she has.  Just sayin', if you want Scarlet to turn into a dude, I will just go into vicious detail.  I'm way better at crafting disturbing mental images than you are at trying to subvert mine...." Zuko

"Bzzzzzzzzz." Zuko
"No the fleshlight you dork."  GM
"You have a battery powered fleshlight?" Zuko
it's a tiny LED Flashlight" GM
Kadon cracks up...
"It was tiny and it had an LED."  Kadon
"Really?  it had to be tiny?  Poor GM" Ioni
"I'm not the one who said it!" Kadon
"To be fair, he did say those words...  I feel for you man.  I don't feel you... and I don't..." Zuko

"I hate to bring up the Wrath of Khan question here, but are we searching in three dimensions?"  Zuko
"I would assume so, seeing as it's a flying boat that got stuck in the air."  Mnemia

"6!"  Ioni
"8." Mnemia
"Mine are all natural." Ioni
"First time for everything." Zuko
"Mnemia is offended by that." Mnemia
"It's okay, we still love yours." Ioni
"Yours are enhanced." GM

"What is the scale of the humanoid?" Mnemia
"Humanish." GM
"So we found the Silver Surfer?" Mnemia
"It's all good, I'll tell him we know where Shalla-Bal is.  He'll do whatever I want him to." Zuko

"That is the most disturbing Doritos commercial ever." GM

"Is the whole flock one creature or is it a butt load of demons?" Zuko
"It would be a butt load of demon." GM
"Mnemia you're needed on deck." Kadon
"What the fuck?  They are first circles!  We don't need her." Zuko
"She can do this much more quickly and easily." Kadon
"You can just shoot them one at a time, c'mon don't be a wuss." Zuko
"I'm driving the boat...."  Mnemia
"Run them over... put it in third gear... and run them down.  We got engines on this thing, right?  Just wooosh.  The ship can handle bird strike." Zuko
"Do we have a grille on this thing?"  Mnemia
"This mental image of the Whirley-Gig with this big cow catcher on the front." Kadon

"Definitely surprised that we are being faced with a flock..." Mnemia
"How so?"  GM
"You know what Mnemia can do...." Mnemia

"She hasn't killed anything in 14 or 15 days now... Of course she's driving at it." Mnemia
"Fair enough." Zuko

"... striking bird bitch 1, bird bitch 2, bird bitch 4 and bird bitch 8."  Mnemia
"And I have to say, all momentousness of this just went away."  Zuko

"If there are 3 health boxes, and I have 53 damage dice per bird, do you just want to call that one and move on?  Yeah, I just won."  Mnemia

"It's like watching an Elephant give birth, it's just like that shouldn't work." GM
"How many times have you watched an Elephant give birth?"  Ioni
"How many times is your pants off." Zuko
"HEY!" Ioni
"I'm going to go never on both accounts, unless that hey was Zuko stealing Ioni's pants." GM
"Why do you want me to steal Ioni's pants?" Zuko
"My pants are firmly on, thank you very much.  No Zuko you don't need to try." Ioni

"Terrible people...  You fuckers, every last one of you." GM repeatedly.

".. Have you ever had chopsticks splinter in your mouth?" Ioni

"Time to sit down and have more wine." Zuko
"We're out." Ioni
"Panic." Zuko
"We're also out of chocolate." Ioni
"We're doomed." Zuko

"It should have crash landed earlier... like several seconds earlier and I would have been able to save it." Kadon
"We don't have a very bright silver surfer." Mnemia
"Save her... well that was very good information.... Jackass." Zuko

"He doesn't even show up until everything dies, then says 'save her' then dies... he doesn't even carve out The Castle Aaaarrrgh."  Zuko

"Does he have any pocketses?"  Zuko
"Is it autopsy time?" Mnemia
"You're looting the body basically." GM
"I prefer it as looking for clues a little more useful than 'save her' but yes." Zuko

"They belong to Kimberly." GM
"She who shops at the mall?" Zuko

"Fuck you Mnemia..." Zuko
"Sorry I'm the tank."  Mnemia
"Except you aren't   You're like the fourth edition anti-tank.  You're like I can take a hit but no one will ever hit me because I scare them away." Zuko
"There is that." Mnemia
"What you desperately need is a fuckin' taunt, but you don't have one.  You have an anti-taunt."  Zuko

"It's White Wolf.  There are different people saying different things about the cosmotology of the universe.... So.." GM
"Cosmology.  I'm sorry..Cosmotology is..." Kadon
"Looking good."  Ioni
"Lunars do that too."  GM
"Cosmotology is the art and sciences of applying make up."  Kadon
"And hair styles." Ioni
"and again they have knacks for that too." GM
"But it doesn't affect weather they can use Sidereal martial arts I'm pretty sure." Kadon
"And its a whole lot of rouge might make things better." Zuko
"I don't know.  Look at David Bowie, I suspect most of his power comes from his appearance score."  GM
"I got nothing."  GM
"GM did win the argument.  He made us all stop thinking." Zuko

"With the Jewel Staite question from earlier, Kadon.  If it was Koala rape, would that be a deal breaker?" Zuko
"I think those are both as horribly horrid as..." GM
"I think I have to say if that is not a deal breaker for her, I need to re-evaluate the entire attraction.  How about that?" Kadon
"What if it was Anorexia Porn?" Ioni
"It's not, I mean there you go."  Zuko
"Are we dealing with actual human fucking beings." GM
"So as long as it involves actual human beings, whatever porn is okay for you?"  Zuko
"No... no.. the field narrows further." GM
"No, we're fuckin' done here." Kadon

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