Friday, January 25, 2013

Ooooo, somebody is sassy!

"Okay Mnemia, there is a Munchkin tournement next week you should go win."  Zuko
"As I recall I'm horrible at Munchkin." Mnemia
"How can you be terrible at Munchkin?" Zuko
"I don't know, but every time I play with you people, I get my ass kicked."  Mnemia
"That's because Zuko is evil at Munchkin."  Ioni
"I am never evil at Munchkin!" Zuko
"You get targeted first, then you go 'oh hells no' then it goes to hell in a hand basket."  Ioni
"That's not being evil.  That's defending yourself when everyone decides to kick your ass in the first five minutes." Zuko

After Ioni calls up an old link to Hulk Hogans sex tape, and we start discussing Hogan on Steroids.
"That's why he did it.  He didn't fit before."  Mnemia
[silence]......."O..h.... dammit Mnemia..."  GM finally catching on

"I'm vaguely familiar it's out there, raining on my day."  GM

"So, where the hell were we?"  GM
"I believe there were some stupid interns." Zuko
"I love that Mnemia has that highly amused giggle at the interns."  GM
"Dumb sons of bitches."  Mnemia

"We were interacting with a Tremere."  Ioni
"And now we all got the hivvy"  Zuko
"And now we do the hivvy dance."  Ioni
"Do the hivvy... do the HIVy..."  Zuko

"ewwwww..."  Ioni
"Whereas the reverse is currently true.  Porn makes stuff come out of GMs everywhere."  Zuko
"It makes the same sound effect probably too."  Mnemia
"Ahh yes we need to talk about the FAP Calendar at some point."  Ioni
"No Dolphins!  I don't remember what the rest of them were, but I'm pretty sure I don't want you piloting this." GM

"Ioni, if there is ever a day I want to ruin somebody by having you send them pictures, I'm more than happy to pay you fifty bucks to ruin them.  When it comes to things I want to look at, odds are you aren't going to send me what I want."  GM
"What do you have against Ioni?" Zuko
"What if we just sent you text...."  Ioni looking up some good sites, while Mnemia finds this followed  by Ioni locating this.
"No.  I think in pictures and it will translate... and.... seriously... what the fuck!?" GM then refuses to click on this.

"Stop playing with your slinky!" Ioni
"You can hear that!?" GM
"YES!  There is a really weird squelching noise to it."  Ioni
"Wow, it's a lot louder when I take the headphones off."  GM
".......Really...."  Zuko

"I don't play with the slinky when I'm not talking to you people."  GM
"...... GM....."  Zuko
"What?" GM
"Is slinky a name for something else?" Zuko
"YES!" Ioni
"No... no no no."  GM
"Is that why you're not allowed to go near kids schools anymore?  You invited children to go play with 'slinky'."  Zuko
"'Hey kids! I got a new slinky.  Let's go play with it around the back corner.'"  Ioni
"The fact that you applied new to that has me worried a little bit."  GM
"Well I don't know if you have an interchangeable dick."  Ioni

"What the hell was that!?"  GM
"Jesus."  Zuko
"Goblin Shark."  Mnemia

"The water is a touch warmer."  GM
"That's where somebody peed."  Zuko
"They have to have a really big bladder for that much warm water.  You are free to use taste to determine if it is that much warm water."  GM
"I'll do it."  Ioni
"Oh for fuck sake..."  GM
"Ioni is totally down for that." Zuko
"I've tasted stranger things."  Ioni
"Golden Shower Technique?"  Mnemia
"Really seals in the flavor!"  Zuko

"Must protect monkey butler.  Only one who knows how I like my martinis."  Zuko
"Must stay close to Mnemia so I don't go splat."  Ioni
"Those are both good reasons."  GM on the party splitting.

"Well I don't like that door.... I'm going to make that not a door anymore."  Zuko

"First attack... 14 agg...."  Kadon
"Yeah, gonna want to miss that."  GM

"Wow.. I miss him."  Mnemia
"I'm gonna have to throw this guy a party!  That's the first time in a year!" GM
"Mnemia feels dirty."  Mnemia
"The AKUMA who lived!"  GM
"Mnemia......  A head peeks out of the flayed, charred corpse of this infernal and goes 'really?'"  Zuko
"Mnemia looks at her weapon, looks at the dragon blooded, looks at her weapon.... I think it's broken!"  Mnemia

"I'll also assume that Mnemia who is too cool to look back at explosions, does a slight duck to the side to avoid the Kadon flying through the corridor.  Instead of letting a Kadon slam into her back and breaking every bone in his face."  GM
"I know it's tempting Mnemia, but if you could duck a little...  Though I can see him slamming into Mnemia and her just going: 'Did somebody throw a feather at me?  Oh no.'"  Zuko

"But don't worry, I'm pretty sure the Mnemia blender is on stage five."  Zuko

"Did that one guy stand up after I told him what I'd do?"  Zuko
"I think he's more concerned with acid tentacles.  No offense, but if 'tentacle' is in the title, I don't care what else is on the other scale, I'm probably going to defend against the fuckin' tentacle."  GM
"Well he made his choice."  Zuko
"It's okay, we're just trolling once more, except now we're just going to act on it."  Ioni

"Finally the interns are slightly smart!"  Ioni
"Lets not get ahead of ourselves."  Zuko
"The prospect of getting raped by water tentacles has calmed them down."  Mnemia
"I would unite with my enemies if it meant avoiding tentacle rape."  GM
"Even if you might enjoy it?"  Ioni
"....... my statement stands."  GM
"Or sits... or kneels... or bends over."  Ioni

"Alternately, we could just have Zuko punch the stupid off her."  Kadon
"I say we kill her, its the only way to be sure."  Ioni
"It's 10 motes and 2 willpower."  Zuko
"It's an intern!" Ioni
"They knew what they were signing up for."  GM
"They knew what they were signing up for.  They totally fucked this shit up.  This is the last straw, we kill them."  Ioni

"I'm borrowing Scarlets Marker."  GM
"Kadon?  It looks like Low Breading is about to say something... when a pair of arms come up from around her and attempts to grapple and does a shitty shitty job of it and is knocked aside."  GM
"Shitty shitty bang bang."  Zuko

"Woah woah woah, you used Caleb to represent my wife."  Zuko
"No no no... he used your wife to represent Caleb."  Ioni
"Yes, even worse as a matter of fact."  Zuko

"Whats the first rule of MMO boss fights.... Run towards the tank."  Mnemia
"Fine.  Ioni is going to run towards Mnemia, then land on top of her shoulder, climb to the top of her head and just hide behind her."  Ioni

"It was a good day."  GM
"Damn that rap music."  Zuko
"Damn that porno."  Ioni

"Mnemia, can't help but notice a few things here.  1.  I give Kadon a division of the squirrel girls, he doesn't notice they are demi-urges capable of crafting awesome things.  2.  We give Kadon interns.  He doesn't notice at least one of them is an Akuma and at least two of them are fucking around, and one of them is possibly fucking his girlfriend.  I don't know if this guy is that good of a teacher."  Zuko
"Dude, fuck you."  Kadon

"What do we need to do to fix Monkey Butler can he fix me a drink."  Zuko

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